Chapter 17

The ride back to base was rough. Chewie and Rey were able to fly the ship away from the First Order and once they were a safe distance away, they went to light speed and were finally able to fly back to their base. Everyone was quiet and miserable the entire flight.

Saya had to fight tears the entire time. This was her fault. She should never have gone to the festival. Everyone now felt the trip was a complete failure as they had no idea if the family was alive let alone became an alliance to the Resistance.

Right as they landed back on base, Leia stood and addressed everyone.

"I'm very sorry for how this evening ended. I suppose for one night we forgot about the battle we have been thrown into. But I don't blame you. I was hoping you all would have at least one night to forget about everything. I'm sorry it ended this way. For now, I want everyone to rest and not lose hope. We will continue to fight and end the First Order."

Leia slowly exited the ship, followed by everyone else. Saya raised her head just in time for her eyes to meet Poe's.

Saya's makeup hid her blushed face. She had forgotten for a brief time about his kiss. The one that made her run to the river in the first place. They stared at each other for a moment before he broke the contact and slowly made his way off the ship.

Before Saya could leave the ship, Rey walked up to her.

"Saya… how did you know the First Order was coming?"

Saya's heart began beating fast.

I… I recognized someone from the village. From the Star Destroyer…. They pulled out a communicator before I could stop them…

Rey seemed to believe her. Saya just couldn't bring herself to tell the truth. She didn't know why. She trusted Rey as much as she trusted Leia. But Saya couldn't bring herself to tell her that it was her fault this happened.

Rey and Saya slowly left the ship. The rest of the Resistance members were giving everyone odd looks at their costumes and, in Saya's case, makeup. But Saya didn't care. She silently walked to her tent with Bayard following her. Once inside, she closed the door and practically ripped off the headdress she was wearing. She grabbed a rag and began scrubbing her face until it felt raw. She didn't even realize she was crying at first.

When she felt confident that the makeup was gone, she sat down on the bed and silently cried while Bayard's head sat on her lap. She gently stroked his fur, taking some comfort in his company.

After a few minutes, Bayard's head whipped around and he began growling. Startled, Saya also looked up.

A few feet away from her was Kylo Ren, looking at her with longing. Even through the force bond he created, Saya could feel his frustration and anger.

"Saya, where are-"

What did you do to those people? Did you hurt them!?

He was quiet for a moment.

"… The Varasys family escaped. My forces left the planet as soon as they confirmed you were gone."

Saya released the breath she was holding.

How are you doing this? WHY are you doing this?

He took a step toward her.

"How can you ask me that? I need you, Saya. Please…"

He lifted his hand out to her.

"Please… come back to me. I know you didn't want to leave me. I know the Resistance forced you to go."

Saya looked to the floor.

They did. But not the way you're thinking.

Kylo's hand dropped and Saya slowly looked up to him. She didn't want to lie to him. She already lied to Rey. She wouldn't lie again.

I went to help them escape. When I was shot, it was an accident. I told them to leave me. But they didn't. No, I didn't want to leave. But if it wasn't for them, I wouldn't be able to continue my fight for balance.

He considered her words. Saya was surprised he wasn't angry.

"You didn't want to leave…"

She was quiet. That seemed to be the only thing he heard her say.

He held his hand out to her again. She could see desperation in his eyes.

"Saya, please come back to me. You don't have to tell me where the Rebels are. Just come back…"

And what, Ben? I come back to you and stay hidden away in your room? Only for you to return at night where we would make love and I watch you leave every morning? It that really want you want me to do?

NOW she felt his anger.

"No! I swear it won't be like that anymore! You and I can fight for balance together, just like you want! You and I, together. Come back to me, and I'll help you complete your training."

Saya looked taken aback.

What do you mean complete my training?

"I can show you the ways of the force. Come to me and I'll show you how to use your powers with nothing held back."

The ways of the force… from the Dark Side…

"Saya, the Dark Side has more power than you can imagine. Come to me and let me show you. We can use that power together to bring the balance you desire to the galaxy."

Saya was quiet. She couldn't deny that it was so tempting to take his hand. Perhaps both of them can bring back the proper balance.

"Do it… take his hand…"

The dark voice she hadn't heard in so long was once again in the back of her mind.

"Take it and feel the power of the Dark Side…"

Saya's hand was slowly rising up to his. Kylo smiled at her.

"Come to me and rule by my side."

Saya suddenly froze.

Rule by him. He didn't want to simply bring back balance. He wanted to rule the galaxy. There wouldn't be any balance. The Dark Side would rule over everything.

She lowered her hand and stood.

I can't tell you how hard it is to say no to you. All I wanted for so long was to be with my Ben. All I ever wanted was him.

She took a breath and continued, looking deep into his eyes.

But you're not my Ben. You're Kylo Ren. My Ben didn't want to rule the galaxy. He wanted me. Only me. YOU want to rule this galaxy. There is no such thing as balance in the First Order.

He lowered his hand, anger rolling off of him.

"Saya… if you don't return to me on your own then I will tear this galaxy apart until I find you!"

Saya wasn't fazed at all but couldn't stop the tears from falling from her eyes.

Good night Kylo Ren.

Before he could say anything else, she closed her eyes and raised every shield she had in her mind. After a minute, she opened her eyes and he was gone.

She sat back down on the bed and took a breath. She didn't think it was possible for her to block him out completely like that. But it was hard to hold the shields up. She wasn't mentally strong enough to hold them up forever. But maybe she wouldn't have to for long. Maybe he finally hated her enough to stop and want her dead.

After all, he was Kylo Ren. Not Ben Solo.

-!-!-!

Kylo jolted out of his connection and all he felt was rage.

He finally established a connection with her to speak to her and she blocked him out. How she was able to do that, he didn't know. Perhaps it wouldn't last. He wasn't going to give up.

He stood from his throne and looked to the one next to his. He was so close to convincing her to take his hand.

So close…

He clenched his fists in frustration. Yes, Ben Solo only aspired to be with her. But Kylo Ren aspired for more than just that. He wanted her. He wanted to create a galaxy for both of them. A galaxy they would rule over together.

He walked around the large thrones to stare out into the galaxy. Saya could be anywhere out there. But it didn't matter. He would find her. He would show her the power of the Dark Side.

No matter how long it took, he will have her sit beside him.

-!-!-!

A week passed by and Saya dedicated herself to her training. She didn't feel Kylo try and connect with her at all. She wasn't sure if he would try again or if he even wanted to. She had dropped her mental shields shortly after he was gone the last time.

The first few days of the week she trained with Rey but today, she decided to train alone. Bayard was always a few feet away from her. Saya never had a problem having him in her company.

More than she liked to admit, she was advoiding Poe. She disappeared into the trees bright and early every day while he stayed at the camp. She wasn't sure how to face him yet.

Saya's eyes were closed and she breathed deeply while meditating. Her Master taught her the value of clearing her mind and just focusing the power of the force within her.

However, a few sticks breaking and Bayard growling brought her out of her trance and she whipped her head around.

Poe was stumbling through the trees awkwardly, holding his hands up to Bayard.

"Whoa, it's just me!"

Bayard stopped growling and walked over to Saya as she stood up from the ground.

Poe looked at Saya with his hands in his pockets, looking nervous.

"Saya… I just think we should talk. It's been almost a week"

Saya nodded.

I know. I honestly just wasn't sure what to say to you.

There was an awkward silence between them for a few minutes. Poe finally cleared his throat.

"Saya, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you at the festival. Well, I don't regret kissing you. But that's not how I should have done it."

Saya was quiet while he spoke, taking in all his words. He looked down to the ground.

"I… I love you. I have for a while now."

She stared at him while he stood there staring at the ground. Before the night of the festival, she had no idea about his feelings for her.

Saya walked forward until she was standing in front of him.

Poe

He finally looked up and his eyes locked with hers.

I'm sorry… but I just don't feel the same way. You will always be a dear friend to me. But I just can't return those feelings.

Poe nodded and looked back to the ground.

"Yeah, I figured. I get it. I'm sure it's not easy to let go of someone. But I just had to say it."

Saya also nodded and took a step back. After another minute, Poe finally looked up and gave her a small smile.

"Leia's calling me, you and Finn for a meeting. We may be able to finally do something useful beside hide in the woods."

Saya smiled and began following him back to camp with Bayard following close behind. Poe and Saya were the first to arrive but close behind them, Rey and Finn came rushing inside. Leia was smiling at all of them

"Everyone, I have good news. The Varasys family was able to escape and they are in a safe location. They have agreed to aid the Resistance and will be sending us resources very soon."

For the first time in a week, everyone was smiling and happy. Saya had already known the family was safe but if she told anyone, they would demand to know how she got the information. She couldn't reveal that secret.

"With those resources, we will be able to finally get weapons and ships we desperately need to stand up to the First Order. However, we need to assist Lord Varasys with an issue before we can receive the weapons and ships. There is a mining planet in the Degaba system that has a very rare ore that can be harvested for weapons and ships. It's almost indestructible if mined and crafted correctly. The Varasys family owns a facility that can build what we need but the natives of the planet need help with a task before they will give us anything."

"What do they need help with?" Rey asked

"Well… I'm not sure. They wouldn't disclose the information. They will only speak to us directly. I would like to ask you all to go and see what they need from us. Once they give us the ore, the Varasys will be able to begin forging it for us."

Leia, is Rose not coming with us this time?

"I've already spoken to her. I need Rose to stay behind to help train our new members. And I need just a small team to go. I trust you all to work together and protect each other if something goes wrong."

They all nodded and Leia turned to BB8 who was happily beeping on the ground. Leia bent down and inserted a small drive in him. He turned and projected a map on the wall of the hut.

"This is where you will find the planet."

Poe looked at it closely and nodded.

"We can get there easily."

Leia nodded.

"I want all of you to go in the morning. Go and see how we can help them. Then report back to base so we can come up with a plan."

They all swiftly left the hut and Saya looked up into the setting sun. She felt good knowing they could finally do something to move forward with the war.

Saya went into her hut, ready to try and sleep.

-!-!-!

Hux eagerly marched down the hall, ready to speak to his only trusted ally on the Star Destroyer. He swiftly entered the small office to see General Larz.

Larz gave a nod to Hux as he entered.

"Good day Hux."

Hux was happy that someone shared his views of the use of clones for the First Order army. Larz was his right hand when it came to training troops for the First Order. He was equally offended when Kylo Ren forsook their trained soldiers for clones. Larz was more than happy to join Hux in raising their own small army. All for the sake of proving Kylo Ren wrong.

"Larz. I assume all went well with the extraction?"

"Yes. There was hardly any fight needed."

Hux and Larz made their way out of the office and made their way down the hall.

"What about the plans for extracting the ore? That will be useful to us as well."

Larz smirked. "Simple. We let them believe it will be a trade. The ore for the children."

Larz and Hux entered the large while room and eyes the small group of children huddled together on the floor.

"When will they be sent off to the camp? Ren must never know of this or it could be our heads." Larz asked.

"Soon. First, we get the ore. Once Ren has the ore, he will be distracted and we can safely transfer the children to the training camp. The doctor is ready to give them the growth medication when they get there. Within a few months, we will have soldiers dedicated and trained for us."

Lars and Hux smirked at each other. Hux looked at one small girl holding what looked to be a very large white ball. It looked almost half her size.

"Why did we allow the children to bring toys with them?" Hux demanded to know

"We couldn't pry it away from her. It was easier to just let her bring it along."

Hux gave the girl an evil smile. "Enjoy your toy while you can."

He gave a final look over the scared children, then swiftly left the room of shivering children.

-!-!-!

The ground was soaked with blood and the bodies of her friends. Saya took several steps forward and looked on in horror at the scene in front of her.

All of the Resistance members were dead. Their bodies covered in blood and eyes wide open in horror. Saya felt sick but felt anger when she saw a figure ahead.

She ran forward, wanting to end the person who did this.

The figure was standing in a circle of her dead close friends. The bodies of Poe, Rose, Finn and Leia were scattered around. The figure was fighting Rey with a red cross guard lightsaber.

She felt anger and was ready to help Rey against Kylo Ren. But she was too late. The red lightsaber went right through her chest and Rey fell to the ground, dead. Saya opened her mouth to scream but no sound came out of her mouth. She was scared, angry, and devastated.

As soon as Rey fell, Saya realized it wasn't Kylo Ren. He was now walking up to the cloaked figure from behind. His arms wrapped around the figure and leaned down to speak to the figure.

"Well done, my Empress"

Kylo lowered the figures hood and Saya felt her blood run cold. It was her. She was the figure that killed them all.

Saya watched as her double turned to Kylo and lifted his mask off his face. As soon as it dropped to the ground, they began passionately kissing. Saya fell to her knees, watching her double and Kylo kiss over the dead bodies of her friends.

Suddenly, the double turned and looked right into Saya's eyes.

Don't try to deny the darkness inside of you. This is who you are! THIS IS WHO YOU ARE MEANT TO BE!

Saya cried and tried to scream in horror as her double turned back to Kylo and began kissing him again.

-!-!-!

Saya woke up with a jolt and sat right up in her bed, tears streaming down her face. The nightmare felt too real. She jumped out of bed and opened the curtain to her hut.

Outside she could see several small fires and some of the Resistance members outside, sitting together and talking.

She let out a breath and closed the curtains. Everyone was fine. It was only a nightmare.

She sighed and crawled back into her bed and laid on her side, shivering. It felt too real. She could still see the dead eyes of her friends and see the blood. Saya felt sick.

"Are you alright, Saya?"

Saya tensed up and wanted to kick herself for not raising her mental shields against him. But the truth was, she missed his voice.

I'm fine

While it was only a force projection, Saya knew Kylo was laying down next to her. He must be in his own bed while reaching out to her.

I thought you would finally hate me. I thought you wouldn't want to speak to me again.

"I told you once already. Nothing will ever change how I feel about you."

Saya sighed and rolled over onto her back. Kylo was wearing nothing but his pants and was also laying on his back, his head tilted to the side to look at her.

Will you still feel the same when I destroy your next cloning lab? Or stop anything you do as Supreme Leader?

She felt a flash of his anger.

"My labs are well fortified and secure. And until you return to me, you will not know my next move."

That doesn't answer my question.

He didn't answer and Saya looked up to the ceiling of her hut.

I will only ever stand beside Ben Solo. Not Kylo Ren.

His anger grew. "Ben Solo is gone. You need to accept that."

Saya stood and looked down at him.

Then accept that I will never stand beside you.

In a flash, he was standing and giving her an angry look.

"I don't believe that. You still love me as much as I love you. Don't lie and say that your feelings for me are gone."

I'm not lying about anything. I love Ben Solo. My feelings for him will never be gone. But you are not my Ben.

She watched his fists clench and he gritted his teeth together.

"WHY!? Why are you doing this to me Saya!? All I want-"

Why and I doing this to YOU!?

He looked taken aback at her outburst.

I have done so much for you! I gave up everything I had ever known in my life! I may have been miserable in that life, but it was mine and I gave it up for you! And you have given up NOTHING for me! And you come to me still demanding I sacrifice more and more while you do NOTHING FOR ME!?

She watched his anger slowly disappear as he stared at her. He didn't seem to have words for her.

She slowly raised her hand out to him.

If you love me like you say you do, then sacrifice for me. I will come to you. I will leave the Resistance right now if you leave the First Order. We both take a ship and meet somewhere. Then we leave together. You and I.

He stared at her hand with no expression on his face. She continued to hold it out for him.

I'm giving you the chance to finally show me that you will sacrifice for me. The same way I have done for you. Give my Ben back to me. Let Kylo Ren go and give me back my Ben.

There was a silence in the hut and he slowly raised his eyes to meet hers. She continued to hold her hand out to him for a few moments, then slowly lowered it. She gently started crying.

I suppose I have my answer.

He seemed to snap out of whatever trance he was in. Desperation came back to him.

"Saya, all I have ever wanted was to make you happy. As Supreme Leader I can-"

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has never made me happy. Ben Solo has. And until he comes back to me, I don't ever expect to get my happiness back.

Saya didn't even let him respond. She quickly lifted her mental shields and blocked him out. She sat on her bed and silently cried while Bayard rose from his corner and went to comfort her.

She didn't expect him to know how hard it was for her to no drop everything and go to him. She wanted to be in his arms again. But not like this. She couldn't stand beside him as he did such terrible things to the galaxy.

Saya slowly laid back down on the bed and Bayard returned to his corner. She could only imagine his rage at the moment and wondered if he would throw a tantrum and destroy his room again.

She had no idea just how right she was as across the galaxy, Kylo Ren released his rage and destroyed his room within minutes.

-!-!-!

More to come as soon as I can!

This story will go into The Rise of Skywalker. I just haven't been able to see it yet so please bear with me while I finish Saya's side stories and wait to be able to see the film. I already know how it ends and how things will end with Saya and Kylo/Ben.

Please review and give me feedback!