He was much more interested in other mechanisms musical ones. Arney was interested in the device of all even the most weird musical instruments: from old music boxes to modern synthesizers, and even more he was interested in the sounds they made. At this time the space in the head, that used to be filled only with self-deprecating and suicidal thoughts, began to fill with sounds and melodies not heard before. Sometimes it was pleasant, sometimes it was painful: Arney wanted to find an expression of this music in the material world, but didn't always succeeded.
There was an old black C. Bechstein piano in the living room in relatively good condition. Eleanor used to play it as a child and taught Arney as well. When no one was at home, he would go to the instrument and try to reproduce the music in his head. Sometimes Arney would sit for hours at the piano, trying in vain to extract some semblance of the music he had heard.
One day his stepfather caught him in this occupation, and it resulted in a major quarrel between them. "You said you couldn t go to the auto shop because you have to study for a math test, and now you're playing this rubbish! Who did you want to trick? Did you think I'm a fool? Moron! For sure nothing good will come of you! You're all as your daddy fagot!" stepfather assault Arney. "What right do you have to talk to me like that? I don't owe you anything! And I don't need your stinky auto shop! - replied Arney, trying to keep as calm as possible. While Heinrich was ready to burst with anger. He was shocked by the response of Arney, who wasn t rebellious before, he could not find words to rein up the impudent youth. "Keep yourself, you little bastard! I'll remind you of that! You will go to the auto shop every day! You will clean the toilets! You will do whatever I want!" - the angry man sputtered. "No! Arney replied calmly. His stepfather's eyes were bloodshot, and his red moustache twitched nervously on his distorted face. Heinrich lunged at Arney, trying to grab the boy by the collar of his shirt, his red, broad hand almost touching the boy's thin pale neck, but at the last moment Arney managed to get out and run away.
He wandered through the streets of the dusky city for a long time and the music in his head grew louder and more insistent, so he had a terrible headache and wanted to smash his head against the wall of the nearest house, but fortunately it began to rain, that cooled his burning head and relieved his suffering. He walked for a long time in the darkness, not knowing where. He could think of nothing but the music. Arney did not notice how he found himself in an unfamiliar place, and it didn't even frighten him at all.
It was an unfamiliar dormitory area. Houses were silhouetted against the night sky, and here and there the fireflies of the windows shone. Suddenly Arney was surrounded by a pack of drunk teenagers, appearing from nowher. One of them walked up to Arney and pushed him in the chest without a word. Then others joined in, pushing and kicking him. Arney didn't know what to do in such a situation, he never fought and didn't try to defend himself. The blows became more and more frequent and stronger, he was struck across the face, and the salty taste of blood was felt in his mouth. Finally a heavy blow knocked Arney off his feet, and they kept kicking him. He curled up and covered his bloody face with his hands. The thought flashed through his mind: "They will kill me, probably, and there's nothing wrong with that." But the teenagers were already fed up with their senseless cruelty and began to disperse, leaving exhausted Arney's body lying on the ground wet with rain and blood.
It was late in the morning when Arney came home, ragged and bloodied, his face swollen. His mother and stepfather didn't scold or beat him, as they felt partially guilty about what had happened. They didn't report to the police either, because Arney didn't remember the place and the faces of the assaulters . He was lucky that he didn't suffer serious injuries and quickly recovered. After this incident the question of the auto shop went by the wayside. Now mother and stepfather were not up to Arney, because Elenor was expecting a baby and their attention was focused on the future.
Then another important event took place in the Arney's life. A new girl came to his class. She was from a family of immigrants from Eastern Europe and therefore was not popular with her classmates. No one wanted to sit with her at the desk, and as Arney was sitting alone, she had no choice but to sit next to him. Arney always felt sympathy for outsiders, because he was outsider himself, and they became friends soon. The girl's name was Emma. Arney helped her with German and adaptation to a new environment, he explained to her the local order and showed her different places. Emma admired the quiet, patient, modest boy, who tirelessly explained everything to her and corrected her mistakes. Besides that he was rather good-looking, though he didn't look healthy, it was a sickly fragile beauty. Soon Emma became attached to Arney, as Arney to Emma likewise, because he had no friends at all. They went home after school together. Arney took her to the Jewish cemetery, where they talked, read books or just lay on the grass. Sometimes Emma took Arney's hand, and he didn't resist. They seemed to be a nice couple: a quiet, thoughtful young youth and a bright, red-haired, brisk girl.
Once on a warm spring day, they basked in the sun in a secluded corner of a Jewish cemetery. Arney felt haggard, because he slept badly at night - he dreamed of music. And this time it was some kind of hellish symphony. It seemed to him that it was created by the moans of souls of dead people, experiencing terrible torture. Each kind of suffering had its own musical tone, and together they created harmonies of extraordinary beauty, which Arney couldn't reproduce, and that was painful for him.
During the day the music did not tormented Arney so much, so taking advantage of the moment, he quietly sank down on the young fragrant grass, closed his eyes tiredly and dozed off in a while. Emma gazed at his beautiful face. In the sun it looked thin and pale, almost transparent. Suddenly she wanted to kiss him. She gently touched his tender, warm, pale pink lips. Arney opened his eyes in surprise and startled back. "What are you doing? I kissed you? I hope you do not mind? Emma said. Why did you do this? - Arney wiped his lips with the back of his hand. "I just love you," - Emma replied confusedly. "Never do this again! You shouldn't love me." "But why?" My mother cursed me. I was a small boy then. It was a quiet summer evening, I walked with my mother along a country road. I don't even remember where we were going. The air was filled with the chirping of grasshoppers and the croaking of frogs. Suddenly my mother took my hand and said that it was as cold as a frog's foot, and that I had the same cold frog's heart and would never love anyone. She was smiling. I know these words were nothing but a joke for her, but to me they sounded like a curse. At that moment I realized that I really would never love anyone. You may find this story strange and even funny, but it's true. And if you really love me, we have to break up, because I will never love you."
Emma's large blue eyes filled with tears. It was painful to hear these incomprehensible cruel words. Not knowing what to say, Emma turned away and wanted to go, but Arney called out to her. "Emma, wait! Please, stay with me! I didn't mean to offend you. I just can't. Do you understand me?" Emma stopped for a while and looked back at Arney. It seemed to her that it was the last time she saw Arney, that she knew and loved. And though she was pleased that Arney hadn't let her leave so easily, she knew it was over. Struggling with her feelings, she turned away and ran to the cemetery gate, wanting to get rid of these heavy, heart-breaking experience as quickly as possible. It wasn't less painful for Arney. He didn't want to lose his friend, but he couldn't love Emma. After these events it was impossible to return to the previous relationship. They saw each other less and less, and soon Arney felt as lonely as before, but it didn't bother him so much, because he get used to loneliness and even liked it. He knew that solitude was freedom.