Neal twirled his room key around his finger as he walked down the hall, humming to himself as he glanced around at the colored lights Ruby had strewn against the walls in a half-hearted attempt to be festive.

He had to say, he was feeling pretty good right now. Normally, all that "feelings-crap" made him feel physically ill: he'd spent so many years training himself to repress everything, because emotions made things messy and annoying and painful. But everything that had happened with Emma tonight…? Yeah. Yeah, he was feeling pretty good about that. Life was good.

He was about to turn the corner to continue down the hall to his room, but stopped as sounds of what could only be described as a "kerfuffle" reached his ears. Neal frowned, turning his head to find the source of the noise.

It was coming from Ruby's room: there was the sound of shouting voices (probably Granny and Hook arguing again), and then of something smashing against the wall. Neal stepped back as the door flung open, and Hook stormed out, glaring furiously. Neal caught a glimpse of Granny rolling her eyes before the door swung shut again, muffling Ruby's angry retort.

Hook glanced up as he reached Neal, his glare slightly relaxing as he slowed to meet him in the middle. "Hey," he said, still sounding very grumpy. "You have fun tonight?"

"Yeah," Neal said, his eyes darting between Hook and Ruby's room curiously. "Uh—" he jutted his thumb toward the door—"am I getting the story behind that, or…?"

"Later," Hook growled. "I-I-I can't right now, okay? That woman is the most—!" he squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his teeth, visibly shaking with rage—"I hate her, Neal! I hate her!"

Neal raised an eyebrow. "…We are talking about Granny, right?"

"Yes, we're talking about Granny!" Hook flared. "Or as I like to call her, Satan's Mistress!"

"Calm down," Neal said, putting his hand on his shoulder as Hook started feverishly muttering under his breath. "Hook—"

"She keeps threatening to lay gypsy curses on me!" Hook spat venomously. "You don't mess around with that shit, Neal! That decrepit old hag is actually going to curse me!"

"That's ridiculous. She was just saying that to get you all worked up," Neal reassured him, though in all honestly, he wouldn't have put it past Granny to try and curse Hook. "Breathe, okay? You're turning purple."

"I'm breathing!" Hook inhaled and exhaled obnoxiously loudly. "See?"

"What happened?" Neal asked, staring at him in wonderment. "I mean, you're practically foaming at the mouth."

"She thinks that just because she owns the bloody place, she can come barging into any room she likes!" Hook said furiously. "I can't stand it anymore, Neal! I have to get out of here, I hate this place!"

"Okay."

"I'm serious!"

"I said, okay."

"You know what?" Hook kicked the wall. "Fuck this place! I'm just going to move in with you! When do we leave?"

Neal stared at him. "I-I'm sorry, what?"

"I'm coming with you," Hook decided. "You're my best mate, Neal, and I can't bear to live without you. So—" he clapped his hand on Neal's shoulder, raising his eyebrows—"when do we leave?"

"When do we—?" Neal shook his head in disbelief. "What do you mean, we? There's no we leaving anywhere. I am moving into my new apartment this weekend."

Hook narrowed his eyes. "There is no 'I' in 'team', Neal," he said seriously.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"It's an expression. It means, 'let me come with you, or Granny and I are going to battle it out and only one of us will come out alive'."

"Look, you're going to have to make other arrangements, because I don't have room for you." Neal instantly regretted saying the words the minute they left his mouth: he and Emma had agreed to keep everything a secret, and he had just let slip a major clue. To Hook, of all people.

Hook's eyes lit up with intrigue, just as he'd expected. "No room?"

"I meant, there will be no room," Neal said hastily. "I'm setting aside a space for Henry, so he has somewhere to stay when he's not with Regina. The loft is so crowded…"

Hook grinned, as though he didn't believe him. "Right. Henry. Okay."

"It is Henry."

"'Course it is. I'm sure Emma has nothing to do with this."

"She doesn't."

"Right."

"Seriously."

"Oh, okay. Then maybe I can move in after all. I mean, it would be weird if it were you and Emma, and then me the third wheel. But if it's only Henry…" Hook's smile widened triumphantly as Neal shifted uncomfortably. "It's Emma, isn't it?"

"Hook—"

"I knew it!"

"Okay, but listen to me—" Neal grabbed Hook's collar, pointing threatening a finger at him. "If you tell anyone about this, I'm going to sic an angry, hormonal Regina on you, and she's going to make Granny's gypsy curses look like a tickle. Got it?"

"Oh, all right," Hook said irritably, shrugging out of his grip. "Bloody hell, mate—"

They both jumped as Ruby's door swung open violently. and she came storming out. Hook let out a startled yelp as she grabbed his wrist.

"Let's go," she said viciously.

"Wh-where are we going?" he stammered, nearly tripping as she pulled him after her.

"Somewhere else."

"As in…?"

Neal didn't hear Ruby's response, but he could hear Hook say hastily, "No, you're right, you're right."

"He is so whipped," a woman's voice scoffed. Neal whirled around, his eyes landing on a smirking Lily, leaning with folded arms against her doorframe.

"Oh." Neal grimaced. "It's you."

"Yes, it's me." Lily seemed highly amused to see him: her eyes gleamed, and the smile spread on her face. "Thought you had a date with Emma?"

"I did," Neal said, putting his hands in his pockets to hide his fists.

"Not very successful, then?"

He smiled coolly. "Actually, I'd say it was very successful."

"Oh, I don't know about that," Lily shrugged. "I mean, it's eleven-thirty, and you're home alone. So, really, how successful could it have been?"

Neal raised his eyebrows. "You know what's interesting? It's eleven-thirty, and you're home alone, too. "

Lily narrowed her eyes, and was opening her mouth to retort when Ruby's door opened for the third time and Granny stomped out.

"Do you know where she went?" she demanded, pounding toward them. "She's not picking up her phone."

"She went somewhere with Hook," Neal said, instinctively stepping back: Granny looked ready to throw the next person who offended her across the room. "I don't know where."

Granny made an impatient noise, and turned to Lily. "Any ideas?"

"She said, 'somewhere else', if that helps."

"It doesn't." Granny made a growling noise, shaking her head. "Oh, that man-whore is so evicted. And Ruby—let me tell you something, that girl's got another thing coming if she thinks she's going to get away with this."

Neal and Lily wisely kept their eyes down and their thoughts to themselves until Granny had left; Lily chanced a glance up as her stomping footsteps faded, exhaling slowly.

"Wow…She's intense." She shook her head. "I'd hate to be Ruby right now."

"I don't know. Ruby's got a quite a temper herself."

Lily smiled wryly. "You know who else had a temper?" she said. "Emma. Emma had a temper." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. "She ever lose her temper with you?"

"Is that a euphemism?" Neal asked dryly.

"Maybe."

He rolled his eyes. "Okay, I don't know what went on between you two, but—"

"You should probably talk to Emma, then," Lily said, lazily straightening up to return to her room.

Neal flashed a sarcastic smile at her. "Thanks for the tip."

"No problem," she winked over her shoulder. "My pleasure."

Hook silently side-eyed Ruby: she was glowering at the road and driving at a somewhat dangerous speed, muttering darkly under her breath. He opened his mouth, trying to summon the courage to ask her where they were going, but he knew by now that trying to talk to Ruby at a time like this was never a good idea. The woman would literally bite you, wolf or not—and not in a good way, in a very painful way.

Ruby made a sharp turn, glaring straight ahead. Hook leaned forward in his seat to peer out the window.

"Hang on," he frowned, recognizing the street they were on. "Why are we going to Belle and Rumple's?"

Ruby didn't answer until she pulled roughly into the driveway, ignoring Hook's sharp intake of breath as she slammed on the brakes. She threw off the seatbelt and turned to him.

"You think Belle would let us crash here for a night?" she asked abruptly.

"I-I don't know," he stammered. "Maybe?"

"Maybe?" she repeated witheringly. "Maybe, what the hell does that mean, maybe?"

"Hey," Hook said, feeling rather alarmed. "Ruby, calm down."

"Don't ask me to calm down!" she flared. "It's a full moon in two days, you asshat! And I've got Granny smothering me to death in that stupid inn, not to mention working in that stupid diner with customers bitching at me all day, and you want me to calm down?"

"All right, all right. Breathe, darling," Hook soothed, recalling Neal's advice. "Breathe, breathe, breathe."

"I am breathing!" Ruby cried, breaking into tears.

"No, you're not, you're turning purple."

"No, I'm not," she choked.

"Yes, you are." Hook drew back to give her a considering look. "Actually, it's a really lovely color on you."

Ruby let out an unwilling laugh, wiping the back of her hand across her eyes, smearing mascara everywhere. "Damn it," she sniffed, looking at her blackened hand. "Now my make-up's all ruined."

"Don't you just hate it when that happens?"

Ruby gave him a tearful smile, which only lasted a few seconds before it faded. "Hook," she said, her voice shaking. "I-I can't stand it anymore. She's driving me nuts, I can't—"

"Breathe," Hook reminded her as she started hyperventilating. "Ruby—" He shifted in his seat awkwardly, trying to find a way to put his arm around her without sticking his hook in her neck. "Here—move up a little…little more, darling, I don't want to kill you…there we go."

Ruby calmed down a little, but her breaths were still shallow and rapid. "I can't stand it," she kept muttering. "I can't stand it anymore."

"I know," Hook murmured into her hair (although, at this point, he wasn't quite sure what it was that she couldn't stand). "It's all right, love."

"She's a crazy woman!" she whispered feverishly.

"I know."

"She says crazy things!"

"I know."

"And she makes me crazy!"

"I know."

"What?"

"I mean, you're pretty."

He glanced down at his pocket as his phone buzzed. Ruby shifted over, looking around her shoulder.

"Who is it?"

"Belle," he frowned, reading her text. "She wants to know why we're sitting in her driveway." Give me a minute, he typed back, and slid the phone back in his pocket. "Come on, let's go. I'll get her to let us in."

Give me a minute.

Belle raised an eyebrow at the text, and tossed her phone on the couch, getting up to go to the door. She squinted through the window, watching Hook and Ruby carefully make their way up the icy path.

"What are they doing here so late?" she muttered, unlocking the door as they approached. She pushed the door open, hiding behind it to guard against the bitterly cold December air. "What? What do you want?"

"Let us in," Hook said abruptly.

"No. What do you want?"

"Let us in."

"Why are you here?"

"Let us in."

"Hook—"

"Let us in."

"All right!" she snapped, pulling the door open wider. "Here, get in!"

Hook smiled triumphantly, bumping Ruby with his elbow. "Told you."

Belle stood back as they came in and started stamping their shoes on the mat to kick off the snow. "Go ahead, sit down," she said, jutting her head toward the couch as she closed the door behind them.

"I could use a cup of tea," Hook said hopefully, pulling Ruby down on the couch beside him as Belle wandered back to her chair. "Ruby, you want some tea?"

"Where's your flask?" she said in a flat voice.

"In my jacket—" Hook broke off with an exasperated sigh as Ruby immediately started rummaging in his pocket for the flask. "Don't drink it all, okay?"

Ruby responded by throwing her head back and tilting the flask upside down. Belle's eyebrows rose as she took one, two, three long sips before finally dropping the flask, exhaling loudly. Ruby glanced up at her, keeping a firm grasp on the flask.

"It's been a rough night," she explained, still a little breathless. Belle narrowed her eyes, sliding her gaze over to Hook.

"Do I want to know what that means?"

Hook rolled his eyes. "Shut up, Belle."

"It's Granny," Ruby answered, as if neither had spoken. "And living in her inn, and working in her diner, and trying not to suffocate under her reign of terror—I can't stand it anymore."

"Well—hang on, don't cry," Belle said, feeling alarmed as Ruby's eyes shone dangerously. "Goddamn it, Ruby, don't make me feel sorry for you."

"You know what?" Ruby stood up, running her hand under her eyes, her voice threatening to break. "I'm going to go make the tea, okay?"

"I can do it," Hook said, half-rising in his seat, but Ruby waved his words away, shaking her head.

"It's all right, I got it," she said, and started to walk away with his flask still in hand. Hook's eyes followed it, and he tensed.

"Ruby—aren't you forgetting something?"

"What? Oh—" Ruby bent down and kissed him, before walking away with the flask again. Hook started to reach out for it, a helpless look on his face.

"But…" He sighed heavily, dropping his hand. "That's not what I meant."

"You have separation anxiety," Belle observed. "You literally have separation anxiety from your flask."

"She's going to drink the whole bloody thing," Hook complained. "When Ruby gets like this, she could drink the ocean dry."

"She gets like this a lot?" Belle asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Just around the full moon," Hook said wearily, leaning back in his seat. "Her emotions run really high, and she just gets super-intense…which, I have to say, isn't all bad—"

"And I'm going to stop you there," Belle said over him, holding up her hand. "I really don't need to hear about your sexcapades with your werewolf girlfriend, you two already freak me out enough."

"Says the wife of Rumplestiltskin," Hook muttered, rolling his eyes to the ceiling. "Anyways, I need a favor," he said, sitting up. "Would you mind very much if me and Ruby crashed here for a night or two?"

Belle's eyebrows shot up. "Are you insane?"

"Oh, come on, Belle," he pleaded. "She's spiraling into madness over there at Granny's, she just needs a little break."

"Hook—" she started helplessly.

"Please?" he wheedled, turning on the puppy-dog eyes. "Oh, please, please, please, please?"

"Rumple's going to flip—"

"It's just for a night or two. Come on, Belle."

Belle sighed desperately. "You're really putting me on the spot here."

"Look—" Hook shifted his eyes quickly to the side, as if to check Ruby wasn't listening. "If you do this for me, I'll tell you a secret."

"A secret?"

"Trust me, it's a good one," he said conspiratorially. "I'm not supposed to breathe a word about this, on pain of Regina's wrath."

Belle sat up, intrigued. "Who's it about?"

"Neal," he said promptly.

"Neal?"

"Neal."

"What about Neal?"

"Not telling." Hook folded his arms, leaning back against the sofa. "Unless…"

Damn him, she thought darkly. "Give me a hint."

"No. Shan't."

Belle gritted her teeth, kneading her hands into fists. On the one hand, she really didn't think it was a good idea to let Hook and Ruby stay: it was always risky, leaving those two in a room alone with their hormones; not to mention, Rumple waking up to seeing Hook sitting across him at the breakfast table; and then, there was the potential of starting a war with Granny, which scared her more than anything…

But gossip about Neal? Neal never had gossip, this was a rare treat! And no one was supposed to know about it, that made it even better!

How could she resist that?

"All right," Belle said, leaning forward in her seat. "You can stay."

Hook grinned. "Thank you, you truly are a—"

"Yeah, okay, shut up now," she said impatiently. "Tell me."

"Okay, but you can't tell anyone. Not even Tink. Well—" he interrupted himself, scoffing—"especially not Tink."

"I promise," she lied. "I won't breathe a word."