Disclaimer: This world and all its characters belong to JK Rowling. I wrote this purely for entertainment purposes, and have no wish to sell, copyright or otherwise claim any of this content.

Remus sat in the dimly lit visitor's room, sipping hot chocolate and trying to block out the screams of his younger self that were still ringing in his ears. He had seen dementors before, and of course had heard Sirius and James explain their effects after their visit to Azkaban, but he himself had never had the chance to experience those effects. Inwardly he shuddered, and took another sip of hot chocolate. Hopefully he would never have to encounter one again. He'd heard that the effects got worse the more you were exposed.

"How's that?" The guard – Cunnings, Remus remembered his name was – entered the room.

"Better, thank you."

"Didn't go quite as planned, did it?"

Remus sighed. "No, it didn't. I thought Black would be more reasonable, but really I don't know what I expected. He's a Death Eater, after all. They aren't a notoriously sane bunch."

"Ah well. Not too much of a loss, is it. About ready to head back?"

Remus stood, setting his now empty mug on the plain wooden table. "Yes, thank you." As the guard turned to lead him to the dock, Remus quickly scanned the room with his eyes, looking for any sign of Sirius. The last Remus had seen of him, Sirius had been crouched in the corner of his cell, head bowed as the dementors approached. Then Remus had distracted the guard, and Sirius had disappeared under the cloak. That didn't mean he had made it out, though. Flicking his eyes across the room one more time, Remus left, leaving the door open behind him. He didn't know what he would do if Sirius hadn't managed to get out.

The sea was stormy when Remus boarded the small ferry, and the wind was blowing spray up against the shore and small dock that jutted out from the barren rock that housed Azkaban. Sinking down onto one of the rickety wooden seats, he gratefully accepted the bar of chocolate the ferryman gave him, breaking it in half and reveling in the warmth that spread through him as he sucked on it.

"I've prob'ly eaten about an hundred of those things over th' years," the ferryman remarked as they started off.

"I don't blame you."

"Yeah. Horrible, dementors are. Almost makes yeh feel bad for them stuck in there." He jerked his head back towards the quickly receding island.

"Almost."

The ferryman turned back to the helm, where he inspected the control board. Remus was slightly surprised that they used an old muggle boat and not magical one, but he supposed it was all part of their security. A prisoner would not be able to steal a wand off the ship, and no wizard that he knew was able to operate a muggle boat.

About to put the second half of his chocolate in his mouth, Remus jumped as it was suddenly snatched from his hand and disappeared into thin air. Remus' annoyance was quickly replaced by relief – Sirius had made it.

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Yeah?" The ferryman glanced back at him.

"I'm afraid the dementors affected me more than I expected. Do you by chance have any more chocolate?"

"Course I do." The ferryman reached into a small drawer under helm and pulled out three more bars. "Knock yerself out. If it's still botherin' you by the time we get back to th' mainland, I'd suggest stoppin' by St. Mungo's. They 'ave a potion that'll make yeh right in a jiffy."

"Thank you." Remus accepted the bars, and laid two of them down on the seat beside him, unwrapping the third and putting it in his mouth. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the two disappear, and smiled slightly. Good.

It was another half an hour before they reached the mainland, and by then most of the clouds that had obscured the sky had vanished and the sun was shining brightly. I hope that's a good omen, Remus thought as he thanked the security guard and pocketed his wand, walking down the road to the town nearby. I'll have to ask James when we get back. Out of the four of them, James and Peter had been the only ones to take Divination, as Remus had thought it a waste of time and Sirius had wanted to take Muggle Studies.

The polyjuice potion wore off just as he entered the muggle village, and Remus shook his head and arms, glad to be back in his own body. He was just trying to figure out how to find Sirius when he felt something brush against his leg and looked down. It was a large black dog, looking up at him with a silvery cloth hanging from its mouth. Taking the cloak, Remus beckoned. "We need a place where we can Disapparate."

Finding a quiet spot behind and abandoned old barn, Sirius morphed back into his human form. He looked terrible, Remus thought. There were bags under his eyes, and he was covered in grime and looked on the verge of collapse. Nevertheless, when he grabbed Remus' wrist, his grip was as strong as ever.

"Is James with you? Is he okay?"

Remus drew his wand out of his sleeve. "As well as he can be. He and Harry are at my house, which is where I'm taking you. You're certainly not Apparating yourself, not in your condition, but I'll take you in Side-Along. Hold on tight."

Sirius nodded, somehow managing to look both annoyed and relieved at the same time. Concentrating – Side-Along took more concentration than normal disapparition – Remus turned on the spot and they disappeared, leaving behind nothing but the sun and grass and the abandoned old barn.

James sat in Remus' armchair, reading one of his books and keeping half an eye on Harry, who was entertaining himself with some animals James had transfigured for him. After Remus left, James had paced for a while, nervous. What if Remus couldn't get Sirius out? What if their plan didn't work? What if Remus was caught and locked up in Azkaban along side Sirius? At that point, James decided he needed to do something with himself. It was no use worrying about something that was out of his control.

After he had made sure all the wards were in place (Harry had toddled around after him, and James had taken to explaining everything he was doing), James had made sure everything was in order for when Remus returned with Sirius. Before embarking on the rescue mission, Remus had made sure his house was fully stocked with chocolate and the couch was ready for Sirius to crash on. James and Harry were staying in the guest room now, since the bed was larger. James had done the dishes, but had then come up short – Remus was just as tidy in his own house as he had been at Hogwarts. Finally, finding himself with an increasingly fidgety Harry and having nothing else to do himself, James had transfigured some of Remus' old cutlery into toys for Harry and had then settled in himself with Remus' old copy of A Brief History of the Origins of Magic. It was an incredibly boring book, but he really didn't have anything else to do.

Sighing, James snapped the book shut and slid onto the floor beside Harry. Picking up a hippogriff that had been cast aside, James flew it through the air right in front of Harry. "Why not the hippogriff, Harry? Don't you think he feels left out?"

"No. Dadda," Harry reached out to take the hippogriff, only to toss it to the side again when James handed it over.

"Hey! He's gonna get you for that!" James flew the hippogriff back at Harry, swooping his hand up and then down. Craning his neck to try to avoid the dive-bombing toy, Harry tipped over backwards. James laughed, surprising himself. He reached over and poked Harry, grinning. Harry giggled, swatting James' hand away, only to find himself poked on the other side. After a few more attempts at avoiding James' fingers, Harry rolled over, pushed himself unsteadily to his feet, and ran over to hide behind the chair that James had vacated moments before.

"That's cheating, you can't run away," James laughed, pushing himself to his feet and following Harry. This game of tag lasted for a good fifteen minutes before Harry got tired of it and resumed playing with his animals. Bored again, James wandered over to the window, where he stood staring out of it for a few minutes. Absorbed in his boredom and not really thinking, James let out a small sigh and turned from the window.

"Lily, do you think I could –" his voice died in his throat.

"Mama?" Harry looked up, staring at James hopefully.

Wordlessly James shook his head, blocking out the memories that were threatening to overwhelm him. Not now.

Then when? A small voice asked him.

Not now, he repeated firmly. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes, then let it out. After a moment, he let his hands drop. Harry was still staring at him worriedly, a frown gracing his small face. James shook his head.

"Don't listen to Daddy, Harry. Daddy's as crazy as the ghoul in the attic."

"Mama!" Harry said again, louder this time. He seemed frustrated, like James didn't understand what he was saying.

"Harry – "

Crack.

James jumped and whirled to face the door, wand in hand. He could hear Sirius' sarcastic voice coming from outside.

"Wow, great job, Moony, I can really tell you've been practicing Side-Along."

"I haven't exactly had many people to practice with, you know." Remus sounded irritated. "And seeing as you can barely stand, I don't think you're in any position to criticize my Apparition skills. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

The door swung open, and James quickly stepped back, scooping Harry off the floor so that Remus and Sirius had a clear path to the couch. He kept his wand in his hand, though.

"Remus, where did we go when you got sick?" He knew it was them, but it was good practice to be sure. He and Sirius had both had it drilled into them (especially by Mad-Eye) during Auror training.

"At first you stayed at Hogwarts, but then you managed to become Animagi during fifth year and started accompanying me to the Shrieking Shack," Remus panted, heaving Sirius onto the couch. "You check him for injuries, I'll take Harry and get lunch. I, for one, am starving."

James let Harry back to the ground, and Remus beckoned for him to come into the kitchen. While Harry happily ran after Remus, James sat beside Sirius and started doing diagnostics with his wand. Meanwhile, Sirius seemed to be scrutinizing him intently.

"You're looking a lot better than the last time I saw you."

James canceled his spells. "And you're looking a lot worse. Fortunately for you, though, all you need is a few good meals, a lot of sleep and a fair amount of chocolate. There's nothing too bad, as far as I can see. How do you feel?"

Sirius made a face. "Better. Especially now that I'm out of that place – dementors are awful."

A few moments later Remus reentered the room, balancing three cups and some plates on his arms, Harry following faithfully behind him. Setting everything down on the table, Remus passed out the cups.

"Butterbeer for you," he set a mug in front of James, "And hot chocolate for me and you." He pulled the blue mug towards himself and passed the remaining one to Sirius, who immediately took a large gulp.

"Unca Padoo, hiya!" Harry ran over to Sirius, and tried to clamber onto the couch with limited success. Taking pity on him, Sirius set his drink on the table and reached down to give Harry a boost up.

"Hey there, Harry." James watched as Sirius grinned at his godson, his eyes lighting up. "Are you glad to see me?"

James' mouth twitched. "You bet he is. He's been asking for you, you know."

Sirius grinned. "Just for you, Harry," he teased the boy. "I came back just for you, because you're that special."

Sirius awoke suddenly to the sound of wailing. For one, disoriented moment he thought he was back in the Gryffindor dormitory, and someone had set a ridiculously annoying alarm to wake him up. Then he remembered that he was on Remus' couch in the middle of the woods, so what the hell was that noise?

Sirius had just managed to untangle himself from his blanket when Remus came staggering into the room, clearly having just woken up. "Sirius?" his voice was disturbingly urgent as his eyes focused on Sirius. They flicked to the front door, then to the door that led to the guest room. "Get back."

Sirius moved quickly to stand beside Remus and eyed the door warily. "What is it?"

"Intruders. Not anyone friendly, I don't think," Remus replied quietly.

"Remus?" James had appeared at the doorway of the guest room. "What – ?"

BOOM.

The front door exploded, and for an instant Sirius' world turned a brilliant white as he was blown backwards and rubble rained down around him. As his sight cleared, he became aware that Remus was bending over him, talking urgently.

"Get up, you need to get up Padfoot." Remus grabbed his shoulder and jerked him upright. Sirius stumbled, trying to regain his balance. Steadying himself against Remus, he saw someone standing in the gaping hole that used to be the door. They raised their arm, and Sirius, realizing what they were doing, dove down, dragging Remus with him just as another, nasty looking curse exploded over their heads. Remus cursed and turned, raising his wand.

"Padfoot, go! James can get you out of here. I'll be right behind you."

Sirius twisted into Padfoot and, as a dog, bolted into the guest room. He was met with a stunner, which he just barely avoided by throwing himself to the left.

"Padfoot!" James lowered his wand slightly, glancing at the door. "Where's Moony?"

Sirius changed back to his human form. "Keeping them busy. I could only see one, but he said to get out."

"Okay." James waved his wand at the door, erecting a shimmering barrier that would protect them from most spells. Then he strode over to where Harry was sleeping on the bed. "He woke at the alarm," James explained softly, lifting Harry and bringing him over to Sirius. "I put him to sleep because I didn't want him to see this. The spell lasts for an hour, I think." Sirius took his godson in his arms, only to stumble as the whole house shook. He and James both glanced at the barrier apprehensively.

"Accio book," James waved his wand at a stack in the corner. "Portus."

"What about you?" Sirius asked as James handed him the portkey.

"I'm staying to help Moony. Don't worry, we'll be right behind you." James tapped the book with his wand, and Sirius felt the jerk on his naval as the portkey carried him and Harry away.

Stumbling upon his arrival (which he blamed entirely on the fact that he was still recovering from Azkaban), it took Sirius only a minute to recognize the place James had sent him. Moving carefully through the drafty old building, Sirius made his way confidently to the master bedroom of the Shrieking Shack. Years ago, they had decided that Moony wasn't allowed in it, because the bed that had been abandoned along with the rest of the house was actually somewhat decent, and it was the perfect place in which to patch Remus up after his transformations if Madam Pomfrey was late. Walking carefully up the stairs, Sirius adjusted Harry in his arms so that if the stairs gave way he would be more protected from any harm.

Reaching the bedroom, he wrinkled he nose at how dusty it was. What he wouldn't give for his wand right now. Sighing, he shifted Harry again and sat carefully on the old bed, trying to disturb as little dust as possible. Of course, if he had his wand he wouldn't even be here to notice the dust. He would be back with Remus and James, fighting off their attacker.

Although it felt like ages, it couldn't have been more than an hour before he heard the tell-tale pop of Apparition, because Harry was still sleeping soundly in Sirius' arms. Sirius heard the sound of soft footfalls as they entered the house and he stiffened, listening carefully. He'd lived with James long enough to recognize his footfall, and he thought it was him, but there was only one pair when their should have been two. Where was Remus? The door swung open and Sirius stood, watching James warily. James paused in the doorway, obviously sensing that something was off.

"Where's Remus?" Sirius asked.

"Some people from the Order arrived just after you left," James said. "I guess they had his house warded to alert them if he was attacked. I left as soon as I knew they were friendly, but so did the intruder." He scowled. "I don't know who it was."

Sirius nodded, sitting back on the bed where James joined him, taking Harry and whispering a soft "Finite" to cancel the sleeping spell. Harry shifted, but continued to sleep. "I suppose we should figure out where to go," James said, but there was something off about his voice now. It sounded hollow, emotionless, like it did when James was upset and didn't want anyone to know it. Sirius glanced at him.

"I think here is good for tonight, at least," he said slowly, cautiously. "We both need rest, and we should wait until Remus finds us."

James' face darkened, and Sirius winced inwardly. What had he said …?

"All I've been doing recently is sleep."

Ah. "Well, it's night, and people do generally sleep at night."

James didn't say anything for a moment, and just as Sirius was about to try again, he said abruptly, "What if he's dead?"

"Remus?" Sirius asked, alarmed. "You said –"

"Not Remus. Peter."

Sirius stared at James, who was staring at Harry, who was fast asleep. Deep down, though not as deep he'd have liked, he felt the darkness stir again. Every time Peter was mentioned, it seemed that the darkness grew stronger. The one thing it seemed the dementors had been good for was keeping the darkness away. Sirius took a deep breath and said calmly, "Truthfully? I would be pretty damn disappointed."

James' head jerked up and he stared at Sirius, his face showing disbelief. "You want to kill him?"

"James, he betrayed you to Voldemort!"

"But what if he didn't have a choice?" James demanded, desperation creeping into his voice. "What if Voldemort or some of his Death Eaters were torturing Peter?"

Sirius stared at James, thoughts and emotions and the darkness swirling through his head. The apartment was empty. There was no note on the table, no sign that he left in a hurry, no sign of struggle. Peter left of his own free will on a day he knew I was supposed to check on him. He betrayed James and Lily, and now Lily's dead and James is in denial. That's what this is – he's in denial.

"James –" Sirius began, but James cut him off.

"You think I'm mad."

"Of course I don't, you're not –"

"Yes, you do. Don't lie, Sirius. I can tell when you're lying."

Sirius winced. "I don't think you're mad. But … you weren't there. At Peter's house. I went to check on him, remember? Only he wasn't there." Feeling the anger building up inside him, Sirius clenched his fists in his lap. "The door was unlocked. I searched the house, and no one was there. There was no sign of struggle, no note. Nothing to indicate that anything was out of the ordinary except that he wasn't there. He made the choice to leave, James. No one forced him to do anything."

It was a moment before James did anything other than sit and stare silently at Harry's dark hair. Sirius felt that perhaps he should say something, perhaps apologize, but for what? For telling the truth?

"I'm trying, Sirius."

"What?" Sirius asked, confused at the change of topic.

"I'm trying too – too make it all fit! And I almost understand, I can almost accept that – that Lily's d- gone, and that Voldemort's gone, but there's still one thing that I don't understand." James turned to Sirius, and Sirius saw desperation in his eyes. "How could he betray us?" he whispered. "How could he?"