eww hiss hiss Lazel!
LEO'S POV

And the award for the Most Fucked Up Day in History goes to Leo Valdez.

For starters, the trip to the old Civil War sub was a complete waste of time. We hadn't found anything in the submarine or elsewhere in the museum; just a few elderly tourists, a dozing security and - get this - a whole battalion of glowing zombie dudes in gray uniforms.

Oh and the whole idea that Frank should be able to control the spirits? Yeah, that royally failed. By the time Piper sent the Iris-message warning us about the Roman attack, we were already halfway to the ship, having been chased through downtown Charleston by a pack of angry fucking ghosts.

I did not sign up for this Scooby-Doo shit okay.

Then- oh boy! - I got to hitch a ride with Frank the Friendly Eagle so we could fight a bunch of pissed off Romans. Word must've gotten around that I was the one who fired on their little city, because the Romans seemed especially anxious to kill me.

But wait! There's more! Coach Hedge shot us out of the sky like a damn furry Rambo; Frank dropped me- which I strongly believe was no accident; we crash-landed in Fort Sumter which was basically just a huge Roman party; and now Peri won't even look at me- and I have no idea why.

I was just barely able to stand now after Frank's spectacular job at getting us back to the ship safely, and I was at the wheel of the ship. I had to use all my skill just to keep the ship one piece as the Argo II raced across the waves. Percy and Jason were a little too good at cooking up massive storms to drive the Romans away.

At one point, Annabeth stood next to me, yelling against the roar of the wind: "Percy says he talked to a Nereid in Charleston Harbor!"

"And I should give a fuck because?" I yelled back.

"The Nereid said we should seek help from Chiron's brothers."

"What's that supposed to mean? The Party Ponies?" I'd never met Chiron's crazy relatives, but I'd heard rumors of Nerf sword-fights, root beer chugging contests, and Super Soakers filled with pressurized whipped cream.

"Not sure," Annabeth admitted. "But I've got coordinates. Can you input latitude and longitude into this thing?"

I snorted. "I can input star charts and order you a smoothie if you want. Of course I can do some bullshit latitude and longitude!"

Annabeth rattled the numbers off to me, and I somehow managed to punch them in with one hand. Where the hell was Peri? She could help me with this- oh right. She's ticked. Forgot.

Our conversation at Fort Sumter was something that had crossed my mind a number of times. Could she still be mad at me about the whole Frank thing? She must really like him. I could see them together. Talking all Asian to each other. Oh wait shit they're different kinds of Asian. Ugh I'm all messed up in the head about this. I can't-

"Leo!"

I snapped back to attention to see Annabeth waving her hand in front of my face with a worried expression.

"U-uh yeah, yeah I'm listening." I said quickly.

She pursed her lips. "What'd I just say?"

"You were probably talking about Percy's butt again-"

She covered my mouth with her hand frantically. "Hey, hey! Not out loud!" She scowled at the grin stretching behind her thin fingers. "You're just jealous yours isn't as good at his," she sang.

I snorted. "Girl please, have you seen this rump?"

She covered her face and turned away. "I've only got eyes for one pair of cheeks!"

I laughed. "Oh gross."

She smiled and turned away. "Okay Leo I'm gonna go to my room and take a look at this map now, Just hold the ship together until we get farther from Charleston. Jason and Percy will keep up the winds."

"Happy fun time!" I chirped sarcastically.

It seemed like forever, but finally the sea calmed and the winds died.

"Valdez," said Coach Hedge with surprising gentleness. "Let me take the wheel. You've been steering for two hours."

"Two hours?"

"Yeah. Give me the wheel."

"Coach?"

"Yeah, kid?"

"I can't unclench my hands."

It was true. My fingers felt like they had turned to stone. My eyes burned from staring at the horizon. My knees were marshmallows. Coach Hedge managed to pry me from the wheel.

I took one last look at the console, listening to Festus chatter and whir a status report. I felt like I was forgetting something. I stared at the controls, trying to think, but it was no good. My eyes could hardly focus. "Just watch for monsters," I told the coach. "And be careful with the damaged stabilizer. And-"

"I've got it covered," Coach Hedge promised. "Now, go away!"

I nodded wearily and staggered across the deck toward the others. Percy and Jason sat with their backs against the mast, their heads slumped in exhaustion. Annabeth and Piper were trying to get them to drink some water. Hazel and Frank were stood just out of earshot, having an argument that involved lots of arm waving and head shaking. I wondered darkly if Hazel had found out about Peri and Frank. I know it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what was going on.

Actually, come to mention it I hadn't seen Peri since our escape from Charleston. I hobbled over to Piper and tapped her shoulder as she put another bottle of water to Jason's lips.

"Hey, Piper, have you seen Peri?"

"She's been in the engine room ever since y'all got back." She replied without looking up. "Said something about making the ship go double time- ah! Jason, swallow it! Don't spit it out- don't you do it!"

As if on cue, footsteps came up the stairs, and my attention shifted. I saw Peri emerging from the staircase wiping oil from her hands onto her shorts, leaving black stains across the fabric. Her eyes scanned the scene before her as she approached, but when she saw me her eyes hardened and her gaze turned cold. She changed directions and went to sit beside Annabeth instead.

I sighed and slumped onto the couch beside Piper.

Jason sat up a little straighter, addressing Annabeth. "Did you find the map you wanted?"

She nodded, though she looked pale. I wondered what she saw in the map. "How far are we from those coordinates?

"At top rowing speed, about an hour," I said.

"Scratch that." Peri said. "I jacked up the wiring and reconnected a few pipes- plus a bit of skills that only a child of Anastasios could work and we should be there in thirty."

She glanced at me with a calculated look, trying to gauge my reaction to her words. I scowled and crossed my arms, staring at the ground.

"But," Piper began, "what are we looking for?"

Percy raised his head. His green eyes were bloodshot and droopy. "The Nereid said Chiron's brothers were there, and they'd want to hear about that aquarium in Atlanta. I don't know what she meant, but. . ." He paused like he'd used up all his energy saying that much. "She also warned me to be careful. Keto, the goddess at the aquarium: she's the mother of sea monsters. She might be stuck in Atlanta, but she can still send her children after us. The Nereid said we should expect an attack."

"Wonderful," Frank muttered.

Jason tried to stand, which wasn't a good idea. Piper grabbed him to keep him from falling back over, and he slid down the mast.

"Can we get the ship aloft?" he asked. "If we could fly-"

"That'd be great," I said. "Except Festus tells me the port aerial stabilizer got pulverized when the ship raked against the dock at Fort Sumter. And unless Wonder Woman over here can lift the entire ship with her almighty Omega-Blood powers, we're stuck to sea travel."

My tone came out sharper than I'd intended, and I knew Peri wouldn't back down from my challenge.

She glared at me, nostrils flaring. "Leo, shut up you mop-headed looking fuck-"

Coach Hedge's voice rang out. "What was that?!"

She gave a heavy sigh and sat back. "Nothing. I said fudge."

He scratched his furry butt and turned around, muttering a 'Yeah, sure you did,' under his breath. The air around the eight of us was thick with tension. I could feel people's eyes on me, but I was clearly more interested in counting the rings in the wooden floorboards. Clearly.

Percy doubled over suddenly, groaning. "Crap, did the world just turn upside down?"

I looked up as Jason pressed his hands to his head. "Yeah, and it's spinning. Everything is yellow. Is it supposed to be yellow?"

Annabeth and Piper exchanged concerned looks.

"Summoning that storm really sapped your strength," Piper told the boys. "You've got to rest."

Annabeth nodded in agreement. "Frank, can you help us get the guys belowdecks?"

Frank glanced at me, no doubt reluctant to leave Hazel with me with the whole 'Sammy ordeal' going on. I opened my mouth to reassure him, but I was cut off.

"I'll help, too." Peri said, rising to her feet. She hooked her arm in with Frank and flashed him a smile. "Come on, Frankie boy."

I felt my blood beginning to boil as they disappeared down the stairs with Percy and Jason in tow. The way she smiled at him set my teeth on edge. Has she ever smiled at me like that? And Frankie boy? What's up with that? So they've got nicknames for each other now? I bet he calls her sweetie and babycakes and other revoltingly cute pet names when no one else is around. I bet they're going to go downstairs and have sloppy make outs.

Oh my gods. I really need to punch something. Preferably something named Frank.

"Leo?"

I turned to come face to face with bright golden eyes.

"Oh. Hey, Hazel." I said, my anger slowly fizzling out with her peaceful aura.

It was silent with only the two of us on deck save for Coach Hedge who was back on the quarterdeck singing the Pokemon theme song. Except he changed the words to Gotta Kill 'Em All, and I really didn't want to know why.

The song didn't seem to help Hazel's nausea.

"Ugh. . ." She leaned over and hugged her sides. Her frizzy, golden brown hair fell in front of her face, blowing in the sea breeze.

"Don't lean over," I muttered distantly, my mind elsewhere. "Don't close your eyes. It makes the queasiness worse."

"It does? Do you get seasick too?"

"Not seasick. But cars make me nauseous."

"Cars?" Hazel straightened with some difficulty. "You can sail a ship or fly a dragon, but cars make you sick?"

"I know, right?" I shrugged. "I'm special that way. Look, keep your eyes on the horizon. It's a fixed point. It'll help."

Hazel took a deep breath and stared into the horizon. Her eyes were lustrous gold, like the copper and bronze disks inside Festus's mechanical head. Very pretty.

I cleared my throat. "A-any better?"

"Maybe a little." She sounded like she was just being polite. She kept her eyes on the moon, but I got the feeling she was gauging my mood, considering what to say.

"Frank didn't drop you on purpose," she said. "He's not like that. He's just a little clumsy sometimes."

"Oops," I said in my best Frank voice. "Dropped Leo into a squad of enemy soldiers. Dang it!"

Hazel tried to suppress a smile. And smiling is better than throwing up- especially if the puke is landing on my precious ship. Then yes, puking is definitely not an option.

"Go easy on him," she said. "You and your fireballs make Frank nervous."

"The guy can turn into a dragon, and I make him nervous?"

Hazel kept her eyes on the horizon. She didn't look quite so queasy, despite the fact Coach Hedge was still singing his revamped Pokemon song at the helm.

"Leo," she said, "about what happened at the Great Salt Lake. . ."

Oh gods. . Here it comes.

"The way you tricked Narcissus and those nymphs. . Leo, you're amazing! I've been mulling it over, how much you remind me of-"

"Sammy," I guessed. "I wish you'd tell me who he is."

"Who he was," Hazel corrected. The evening air was warm, but she shivered. "I've been thinking. . . I might be able to show you."

"You mean like a picture? Do you have an Instagram or-?"

"What? No! I don't even know what that is. No, see, there's sort of a flash back that happens to me. I haven't had one in a long time, and I've never tried to make one happen on purpose. But I shared one with Frank once, so I thought. . ."

Hazel locked eyes with me. I started to feel jittery like I'd been infected with coffee. If this flashback was something "Frankie boy" had shared with Hazel. . . well either I didn't want any part of it, or I definitely wanted to try it. I wasn't sure which.

"When you say flashback. . ." I swallowed. "What exactly are we talking about here? Is it safe?"

Hazel held out her hand. "I wouldn't ask you to do this, but I'm sure it's important. It can't be coincidence we met. If this works, maybe we can finally understand how we're connected."

I glanced back at the helm. I still had a nagging suspicion I'd forgotten something, but Coach Hedge seemed to be doing fine. The sky ahead was clear. There was no sign of trouble.

Besides, a flashback should be a pretty brief thing- or at least I hope so since this fanfiction is already really long. It couldn't hurt to let Coach Hedge be in charge for just a few pages more, could it?

"Alright," I relented. "Show me."

I took Hazel's hand, and the world dissolved.