PERI'S POV

My ego and my face were badly bruised.

I was starting to think we were running out of options.

On the other side of the deck, Leo was slowly coming back to consciousness. He groaned and rubbed his curly hair which was matted slightly with blood. Seeing him in so much pain made me want to retch.

We needed a plan. Something, anything.

That's when I spotted Frank who had been the only one missing this entire time. He was hiding behind a mast, waiting, watching.

Fine!" Percy shouted suddenly, so loudly that he got everyone's attention. "Take us away, if our captain will let you."

Chrysaor turned his golden mask. "What captain? My men searched the ship. There is no one else."

Percy raised his hands dramatically. "The god appears only when he wishes. But he is our leader. He runs our camp for demigods. Doesn't he, Annabeth?"

Annabeth was quick. "Yes!" She nodded enthusiastically. "Mr. D! The great Dionysus!"

A ripple of uneasiness passed through the dolphin-men. One dropped his sword.

"Stand fast!" Chrysaor bellowed. "There is no god on this ship. They are trying to scare you."

"You should be scared!" Percy looked at the pirate crew with sympathy. "Dionysus will be severely cranky with you for having delayed our voyage. He will punish all of us. Didn't you notice the girls falling into the wine god's madness?"

Hazel and Piper had stopped the shaking fits. They were sitting on the deck, staring at Percy, but when he glared at them pointedly, they started hamming it up again, trembling and flopping around like fish. The dolphin-men fell over themselves trying to get away from their captives.

Fakes!" Chrysaor roared. "Shut up, Percy Jackson. Your camp director is not here. He was recalled to Olympus. This is common knowledge."

"So you admit Dionysus is our director!" Percy said.

"He was," Chrysaor corrected. "Everyone knows that."

Percy gestured at the golden warrior like he'd just betrayed himself. "You see? We are doomed. If you don't believe me, let's check the ice chest!"

Percy stormed over to the magical cooler. No one tried to stop him. He knocked open the lid and rummaged through the ice. He was rewarded with a silver-and-red can of soda. He brandished it at the dolphin warriors as if spraying them with bug repellent.

Behold!" Percy shouted. "The god's chosen beverage. Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke!"

The dolphin-men began to panic. They were on the edge of retreat. I could feel it.

"The god will take your ship," I warned, catching on. "He will finish your transformation into dolphins, or make you insane, or transform you into insane dolphins! Your only hope is to swim away now, quickly!"

"Ridiculous!" Chrysaor's voice turned shrill. He didn't seem sure where to level his sword—at Percy or his own crew.

"Save yourselves!" Percy warned. "It is too late for us!"

Then he gasped and pointed to the spot where Frank was hiding. "Oh, no! Frank is turning into a crazy dolphin!"

Nothing happened.

"I said," Percy repeated, "Frank is turning into a crazy dolphin!"

Frank stumbled out of nowhere, making a big show of grabbing his throat. "Oh, no," he said, like he was reading from a teleprompter. "I am turning into a crazy dolphin."

He began to change, his nose elongating into a snout, his skin becoming sleek and gray. He fell to the deck as a dolphin, his tail thumping against the boards.

The pirate crew disbanded in terror, chattering and clicking as they dropped their weapons, forgot the captives, ignored Chrysaor's orders, and jumped overboard. In the confusion, Annabeth and I moved quickly to cut the bonds on Hazel, Piper, and Coach Hedge.

Within seconds, Chrysaor was alone and surrounded. Percy and the others had no weapons except for Annabeth's knife and my dagger (plus Hedge's hooves), but the murderous looks on their faces evidently convinced the golden warrior he was doomed.

He backed to the edge of the rail.

"This isn't over, Jackson," Chrysaor growled. "I will have my revenge—"

His words were cut short by Frank, who had changed form again. An eight-hundred-pound grizzly bear can definitely break up a conversation. He sideswiped Chrysaor and raked the golden mask off his helmet. Chrysaor screamed, instantly covering his face with his arms and tumbling into the water.

"Holy crap that was amazing." I gave Frank the bear a proper bear hug. "I still can't believe that worked."

"That was brilliant!" Annabeth kissed Percy. Hell, I almost wanted to kiss him for that save.

"It was desperate," Percy corrected. "And we need to get rid of this pirate trireme."

"Burn it?" Annabeth asked.

Percy looked at the Diet Coke in his hand. "No. I've got another idea."

Leo got back on his feet thanks to a little bit of nectar. His eyes were still having some trouble focusing, but he gave me a weak smile that told me he'd be alright.

Piper tended to Jason's wounds, but he wasn't as badly hurt as he looked. Mostly he was just ashamed that he'd gotten overpowered again, which I could relate to.

We returned all our own supplies to the proper places and tidied up from the invasion while Coach Hedge had a field day on the enemy ship, breaking everything he could find with his baseball bat.

When he was done, Percy loaded the enemy's weapons back on the pirate ship. Their storeroom was full of treasure, but Percy insisted that we touch none of it.

"Oh come on, Percyyyy," I whined. "It smells sooo good. I just know there's enough gold on that ship to set all of us for life."

Hazel nodded. "I can sense about six million dollars' worth of gold aboard. Plus diamonds, rubies—"

"Six m-million?" Frank stammered. "Canadian dollars or American?"

"Leave it," Percy said. "It's part of the tribute."

"Tribute?" I repeated.

"Oh," Piper nodded knowingly. "Kansas."

Jason grinned. He'd been there too when they'd met the wine god. "Crazy. But I like it."

Finally Percy went aboard the pirate ship and opened the flood valves. He asked Leo to drill a few extra holes in the bottom of the hull with his power tools, and Leo was happy to oblige.

The crew of the Argo II assembled at the rail and cut the grappling lines. Piper brought out her new horn of plenty and, on Percy's direction, willed it to spew Diet Coke, which came out with the strength of a fire hose, dousing the enemy deck. Percy thought it would take hours, but the ship sank remarkably fast, filling with Diet Coke and seawater.

"Dionysus," Percy called, holding up Chrysaor's golden mask. "Or Bacchus—whatever. You made this victory possible, even if you weren't here. Your enemies trembled at your name…or your Diet Coke, or something. So, yeah, thank you."

The words appeared hard to get out, but Percy managed not to gag. "We give this ship to you as tribute. We hope you like it."

"Six million in gold," Leo muttered. "He'd better like it."

"Shh," Hazel scolded. "Precious metal isn't all that great. Believe me."

Percy threw the golden mask aboard the vessel, which was now sinking even faster, brown fizzy liquid spewing out the trireme's oar slots and bubbling from the cargo hold, turning the sea frothy brown.

Percy summoned a wave, and the enemy ship was swamped. Leo steered the Argo II away as the pirate vessel disappeared underwater.

"Isn't that polluting?" Piper asked.

"I wouldn't worry," Jason told her. "If Bacchus likes it, the ship should vanish."

As the Argo II headed east into the fog, I couldn't help but feel a bit useless. Even the great Percy Jackson wasn't able to beat Chrysaor in battle. What hope was there for me? If it wasn't for Percy and Frank's quick thinking I'd be on my way to Gaea on a silver platter right now.

The thought made my stomach churn.

After our bout with the pirates, we decided to fly the rest of the way to Rome. Jason insisted he was well enough to take sentry duty, along with Coach Hedge, who was still so charged with adrenaline that every time the ship hit turbulence, he swung his bat and yelled, "Die!"

Leo insisted that he was in tip top shape, but I wasn't completely convinced, so I stayed at the ship's helm with him. With a wave of my hand I could set the ship's course, but Leo was far better at navigating. Together, we sailed for hours while Percy and a few others went below for some much needed rest.

By day break we would reach Rome, and our true test begins.