Hook wandered into the diner tentatively, peeking around the corner. Ruby looked up at the sound of the bell.

"Oh, good, you're here," she said, and started weaving her way around the counter. "I almost thought you weren't—" she stopped, frowning at him. "Why is your hair all wet?"

"I woke up late," he shrugged. "And Neal finds that ice water is a much more effective means of waking me up, as opposed to a gentle nudge or simply buying a functioning alarm clock, so…"

"You walked outside in this weather with wet hair?"

"You walked outside in this weather in that outfit?"

Ruby gave him a withering look, even as she self-consciously crossed her arms over her very low-cut shirt. "You know, those vests are meant to be worn over a shirt—not as a replacement," she said.

"Yes, but I'm a whore, and I don't care," Hook scoffed. "What's your excuse?"

"I'm working for tips in a bar that a lot of guys and lesbians frequent."

"…Right."

Ruby twitched a smile, as if she couldn't help it."Jefferson gave me the job."

"Good," Hook nodded. "You deserve it. You're way hotter than Vince."

Ruby nodded, looking as though she wasn't quite sure what to say. "So, you, uh—" she coughed into her fist—"you want to sit?"

"Sit?" he echoed.

"Yeah. Sit." Ruby raised her eyebrows. "You know—so we can talk?"

"Talk?"

"I thought that was the whole purpose of this," she frowned. "You called me, and said you needed to talk to me, so…?"

"Yeah, but you said you needed to talk to me, too," Hook pointed out. "So…you know."

Ruby shook her head. "I'm confused. Do you want to talk, or don't you?"

"I don't want to, but I have to. Not—not that I don't want to talk to you," Hook said quickly, seeing the offended look on her face. "I just don't want to talk about this."

"What?"

"What?"

"What don't you want to talk about?"

"About this."

"About what?" she said exasperatedly. "We haven't talked about anything!"

"About what I have to talk to you about!" Hook said frustratedly. "It's an awkward situation!"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about!" Ruby said, throwing her arms up. "The awkward situation!"

"What awkward situation?" he demanded. "I know I have an awkward situation, but what's your awkward situation?"

"You know about the awkward situation! I thought that's what you wanted to talk about!"

Hook stared at her. "What are you talking about?"

"Hook—" Ruby exhaled, closing her eyes. "This is getting ridiculous. Let's just sit down, so we can talk."

"I don't want to sit down if I don't know what you want to talk about," Hook said nervously. "As soon as we sit, that's it: we have to have the conversation, and stay until it's over. As long as we remain standing, there's always the option of escape."

"Would you feel more comfortable having an escape option?" Ruby asked through clenched teeth.

"I would feel safer."

"You were the one who called in the first place. If anyone should be pushing anyone to sit and talk, it should be you to me."

Hook looked at her for a long time, taking in the fierceness of her dark eyes, the tension in her jaw; the expression of mingled exasperation, amusement, and utter bewilderment that always graced her delicate features around him (although, he had that effect on most people). "I'm going to miss this," he sighed.

"Miss…?" Ruby frowned, tilting her head.

"This. You and me, arguing in circles, getting frustrated with each other because we can't remember what the hell we're even arguing about." Hook smiled sadly. "I wish I could hold onto this moment for forever, instead of just the next sixty seconds. It's not nearly enough time."

"Enough time for what?" Ruby said bewilderedly.

"I'm going to New York," he said abruptly. "Today."

Ruby stared at him for a moment, then blinked rapidly. "You're going to New York?"

"Yes."

"You're leaving?"

"Yes."

"Just like that?" she croaked. "You're…you're really going?"

"I'm really going."

She looked at him with desperate eyes, glinting with growing tears. "But I thought…" Her voice trailed off to a whisper.

Hook twitched a frown. She was taking this much harder than he'd thought, and he hadn't even gotten to the real news yet. Would she really miss him that much? It was flattering, he supposed, but very unlike Ruby to be so—

She startled him by throwing her arms his neck, hugging him tightly. "Please don't go," she whispered in his ear. "You don't have to leave."

Hook hesitantly put his hand on her back, feeling extremely confused. Where was this reaction coming from? "It's only for a few days, love."

"Wait, it's—" Ruby dropped her arms, pulling back to frown at him. "It's only for a few days?"

"Yeah, I'm…" Hook looked at her strangely. "I'm going with Neal to get his stuff from the New York apartment—ow!" he exclaimed as she cracked her hand across his face. "What the bloody hell was that for?"

"You jerk, you made it sound like you were disappearing off the face of the earth!" she snapped. "You're hanging out with Neal? That's the big news? You do that every day, you asshat!"

"I'm sorry, I should have clarified." Hook touched his hand to the stinging mark on his cheek. "Although, I think that was a little uncalled for."

"Yeah, well…" Ruby folded her arms, shrugging. "Don't scare me like that."

His heart melted a little, the sad smile faintly reappearing on his face. "It would have scared you if I left for good?" he asked, touched. "That's so sweet, Ruby."

"Whatever." Absently, she reached out, trailing her fingers lightly against the red mark on his skin. "Sorry," she said, seeing him wince.

"It's okay, I'll live."

"No, I mean—the other day. At the party." Ruby pressed her lips together tightly, as if bracing herself for her next words. "I…I may have overreacted."

Hook raised his eyebrows. Apologies from Ruby were about as rare as magic beans: he was usually the one who ended up apologizing. Although, that was probably because he was usually the one putting his foot in his mouth and saying something offensive or insensitive.

"Listen, if we're not going to sit, can we at least go off to the side or something?" Ruby shifted her eyes around uncomfortably at the other customers.

Hook nodded, and followed her to the more secluded corner by the jukebox. Oh, this corner… so many memories. Good memories. Very good memories, actually. He'd come to think of this as "their" corner, although if he was going to refer to it as "theirs", he'd also have to adopt Suites 2A through 3B, the third stall in the women's bathroom, and Regina's linen closet as "theirs".

Ruby folded her arms, half-perched against the jukebox. "So…"

"So…?"

"About the whole…thing…" She tucked her hair behind her ear in a nervous gesture, and flicked her eyes up at him. "I shouldn't have yelled at you like that, but I just—I want you to understand, I wasn't really mad at you. I mean, I was, but only a little bit, not as much as I made it out to be. See, I had this long talk with Tony—"

"I'm sorry. Did you just say, you had a long talk with Tony?"

"Yeah, Tony."

"As in—" Hook raised his eyebrows, jutting his thumb toward the kitchen—"Tony, Tony? My-cooking-is-a-biohazard-Tony?"

"Am I being judged by the guy who asks Neal Cassidy for advice on feelings?"

"Fair enough. Continue."

"I had a long talk with Tony," she repeated. "And I've been doing a lot of thinking…a lot of kicking myself…and a lot of not kicking myself."

"Not kicking yourself?"

"Hey, come on," she said, giving him a look. "This is partly your fault."

"Mmm-hmm."

"Don't Mmm-hmm me," Ruby warned. "That really wasn't fair, what you did to me."

"You fell asleep," Hook said slowly. "I woke you up. You lost your shit."

"Because no one knows whether or not to take you seriously when you say things!" she said exasperatedly. "For all I knew, you were actually proposing!"

"Rubbish. I'd've been ridiculously more romantic about it," he sniffed.

Ruby frowned at him. "Well, almost throwing an I-love-you in there didn't help things, either."

That was fair. And honestly, he was angry with himself, over that: after all those weeks of carefully side-stepping the L-word…"Bull in a china shop" was the most polite way to describe the situation.

"I'll admit, it was not the proper venue to start voicing that," he said grudgingly. "I could have been a tad more delicate."

"Yeah," Ruby sighed. "But…I didn't handle it well either. I flipped out, and I'm sorry that it just exploded all over you, but—" she gave a helpless shrug— "I'm screwed up, okay?"

"Don't say that. You're not screwed up," Hook lied. "You're…fiery."

"No," she frowned. "Flying into hysterics isn't fiery, Hook. It's something I would report to a therapist when asking for anti-psychotics."

"What, you want to see screwed up?" he scoffed. "I'm screwed up. I'm the king of screw-ups. Fuck that, I'm the Olympian Lord and Master of Screw-Ups.

Ruby raised her eyebrows. "You seem determined to beat me at this."

"Trust me, darling," he sighed, reflecting on his last session with Archie. "I've already won." He waved his hand dismissively. "But I digress. We were talking about your mental illness. Please, continue."

"There's not much to tell. Well, there is, but…" Ruby poked the tips of her fingers together, dawdling. "See…thing is, I…I've never really had, like, a legit boyfriend. I mean, I did once…A long time ago."

"Bad break-up?"

"Oh, yeah," she nodded emphatically. "It was… it was vicious." Ruby paused, carefully avoiding his gaze. "I've told you about Peter before, right?"

Hook frowned, cocking his head. "Mmm, I know a Peter, but I'm guessing he's a different Peter than your Peter. 'Cause I'm thinking of Peter Pan, and I'm pretty sure he made that name up—"

"Different Peter," Ruby said, shaking her head.

"Then no. No, you haven't told me about him." Hook examined his fingernails, hoping he sounded casual when he asked, "So, was this Peter guy, like…like, one of those true-love-thingies that Snow and David go on and on and on about?"

Ruby shrugged as if to say, How should I know? "We were friends since we were kids, and then it kinda became something else, and then—"she coughed into her fist—"and then he died, and it was kinda my fault, so it…it really screwed me up."

"That…sucks." Hook scratched the back of his head, trying to think something comforting to say. "If it makes you feel any better….it was pretty much my fault when my brother died. Well—no, actually." He frowned, wondering why he'd just said that. After all, it wasn't his fault that Liam scratched himself with dreamshade. In fact, he distinctly remembered telling him not to do that, but boys will be boys, and Liam simply had to spite him.

That dumbass killed himself, what the hell was Hook feeling guilty for?

"Sorry," he said finally, shaking himself out of his thoughts. "I got lost in my head for a minute…stupid Liam."

"What?"

"My brother," he scoffed. "Idiot."

Ruby frowned. "What does he have to do with any of this?"

"Absolutely nothing, darling. Go on about Peter?"

"Peter…" she repeated slowly. "Right….uh, I don't know…" She shrugged, picking at a nail. "It ended tragically, 'cause…you know. He died. And it was my fault. And it was graphic and really traumatizing, and he wasn't just my fiancé, he was my best friend…"

Hook's smile twitched. "Wait—he was your fiancé?"

"Oh, did I not mention that?" Ruby said, not looking at him. "Uh, yeah. We were pretty set to spend the rest of our lives together…which, I guess, we kinda did because his ended a lot sooner than expected, so…"

"Wow." Hook blinked, trying to digest that information. "I, uh…I didn't know you had all—all that going on. You never struck me as the kind of person with a dark past."

"I am. Drinking and sleeping around make it easier to forget, but yeah, pretty dark."

"I just thought you were fun."

"I am fun. I'm just secretly miserable and heartbroken, too."

"Right…"

"But also, growing up," she said quickly. "Just because I'm kinda starting to be honest with myself, doesn't mean I want to just toss this—" she pointed between them—"out the window. I mean, you're in therapy, I'm self-discovering…We might be able to salvage something here, you know?"

"Uh—"

"Because, you know—" she shrugged, giving him half a smile as she pulled him a little closer—"we do have fun."

"Fun," Hook repeated with a weak laugh. "Right. Listen, about that therapy-thing…"

Now more than ever, it seemed only fair to tell her upfront what she'd be getting into, if she was going to stay with him. After all, Ruby had managed a very difficult, very traumatizing confession in front of him, and it was only common decency that he put the same amount of effort into this relationship as she did. Sure, she was tottering frighteningly closer to the brink of insanity, but Ruby's…spontaneity and free spirit (as he preferred to think of it) was one of the things he loved most about her. Maybe…if he was just stupid-lucky enough…maybe his emotional disorders and traumas could endear him to her just as much, Maybe he could persuade her that it wasn't a waste of her time to invest in this, for the long run; that a little separation period was nothing when it came to two grown-ass people trying to be emotionally honest about the fact that they were both two steps from the mental ward.

Because love overcame shit like that, didn't it?

Of course it did.

"Ruby," he said. "There's something I have to tell you."

Ruby's brow twitched, and she folded her arms. "Okay," she said, a note of suspicion in her voice. "Shoot."

Hook took a deep breath. "You have blue eyes."

"Yeah…" Ruby shook her head slightly. "Pretty sure I already knew that, but—"

"There's more. You have blue eyes, you have dark hair, and you're breathtakingly beautiful." Hook sighed. "And that, darling, is why I can't do this right now. And by 'this', I mean 'you', but I also mean—" he pointed between them—"you know, this."

Ruby looked at him for a moment, eyebrows raised. "Okay, so I'm not really seeing the connection here," she said finally. "Is this your way of saying, you don't want to see me at all anymore?"

"No, no, want to see you, very much want. It's the can't that's complicating things. See—" Hook exhaled, bracing himself. "It's my mother. You look like her. And that wouldn't be a problem, if it weren't for the fact that all of my serious girlfriends have looked like her, because she didn't love me as a child, and now I try to make up for it by falling in love with women who subconsciously remind of her, and I am so sorry, Ruby, but I can't—" he closed his eyes regretfully—"I can't see you anymore. At least not for a while. Archie said some separation would be good for me, and as much as it kills me to, I have to agree. I'm sorry."

He waited for her to speak; waited for her to throw her arms around him again, perhaps sob into his shoulder and cry over their lost love. This was the moment, if any, where she should be whispering into his ear, "Please don't go."

Except she wasn't.

Hook frowned and cracked an eye open. "Ruby, did you hear me?"

She stared at him, her expression frozen with raised eyebrows and her mouth slightly open. "I…" Her voice was strained, disbelieving, unnerved. "I remind you of your mother?"

"Apparently so."

"Wow. That's…that is messed up." She put her hands on her hips, walking around in a slow circle, muttering shakily to herself. "I can't believe this: I'm dating a guy who's in love with his mother. I just woke up in a fucking Greek tragedy."

"No, no, no, it's not that I'm in love with my mother!" Hook said frantically. "I'm not that sick! I'm really pathetic, but I swear, I'm not that sick!"

"You just told me you're in love with me because I remind of your mother," she reminded him.

"It's more complicated than that, darling—no, no, listen!" he pleaded, taking her wrist as she tried to move past him. "Look, do you want to talk to Archie? Have him explain it? Trust me, I was worried about it, too, but he told me—"

"No, I don't want to talk to Archie," Ruby said, shaking her head. "Actually, right now, I just want to drink. Like, a lot."

"I understand that, but—"

"No. I don't think you do." Ruby braced her hands on his shoulders. "I need to drink a lot."

"See?" Hook said, pointing at her. "This is exactly what I went through when I found out you were a werewolf. I understand, Ruby, I really do—"

"Oh, sweetie," Ruby said pityingly. "You don't, you really don't."

"I'm not in love with my mother!" Hook said, so loudly, a few people turned around with alarmed expressions. He smiled weakly at them, giving a little wave. "Everything's fine, go back to your breakfast."

He turned back to Ruby, who was now exasperatedly closing her eyes and holding her head in her hand. "I'm not in love with my mother," he repeated in a low voice. "I told you, it's this ambidextrous attachment thingy, I don't know, some…sciency bullshit, I can't remember—point is, I'm not in love with my mother, so it's not like this is a deal breaker or anything, right?"

Ruby dropped her hand, looking at him helplessly. "I look like your mother," she whispered. "Do you understand how creepy that is? You're attracted to me…because I remind you of your mother."

"No, I'm attracted to you because you're the hottest girl in town, after Regina," Hook said swiftly. "Ruby, this came out sounding a lot more messed up than it actually is, will you please just let Archie explain—?"

"I have to go," Ruby said, shaking her head.

"Ruby, come on!" Hook said desperately, swinging her around by his hook. "Everyone's got their issues! Remember, you were telling me that you had that old boyfriend who made you all crazy and shit? And remember, I was being understanding and not judging you for it?"

"Yeah, but Peter wasn't my father!" Ruby said wildly. "I mean, I thought I had problems, but you've got a fucking Oedipus complex over here! I can't even handle I love you, what makes you think I can handle an Oedipus complex?"

"It's not an Oedipus complex," Hook said through clenched teeth.

Ruby exhaled heavily. "You know, maybe it's a good thing I flipped out like I did," she said, more to herself than him. "Gave us both a chance to reconsider things…Figure out that there's a limit to the sexy part of insanity…"

Hook bowed his head, reminiscing those magical nights just before the full moon.

"Maybe a break would be good for us," Ruby said, looking up. "Get some breathing space, you know? Some time to think?"

"Think?" Hook repeated worriedly. "That never bodes well for me."

"Well, I need to think," Ruby said. "And to get drunk, really drunk. But also, think."

"But the fun," he said earnestly. "Remember the fun?"

"I remember the fun," she nodded. "And—not gonna lie—I think the fun is a big part of why we're together in the first place. And probably the reason we keep getting back together, every time we decide to not be together." She paused. "And it's also what's making this whole thing with your mom especially creepy, because you shouldn't be having that much fun with someone who reminds you of your mother—"

"I thought we agreed it wasn't an Oedipus complex?"

"No. We agreed, that I need time to think and drink. Emphasis on the drink."

Hook hesitated. "Okay, but when you think…just remember how pretty I am, okay?" he said nervously. "Make sure that weighs into any decisions you may or may not make."

"Right." Ruby smiled halfheartedly. "I'll keep that in mind. Til then…" She hesitated, then stuck her hand out. "Have a nice time in New York and, uh…make sure Neal supervises you constantly. I don't want you getting into trouble."

Hook looked down at her hand for a minute; then slowly, reached out and shook it. "This is weird," he remarked. "Shaking your hand… It's so formal."

"Have Neal supervise you," Ruby repeated, a little more firmly. "Promise?"

"I promise."

"'Kay." Ruby let go of his hand, avoiding his gaze. "Okay, so… Good. This is good." She hovered on her feet for a moment; then awkwardly punched his shoulder. "Guess I'll see ya…"

Hook stared straight ahead as she wandered off, his mind struggling to compute what had just happened. Did she just—? Was that a—?

Did she just bro-punch me?

Did she just BRO-PUNCH me?

DID I JUST GET BRO-PUNCHED?

BY MY GIRLFRIEND?

FUCKING BRO-PUNCHED?

BY MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND?

Not your girlfriend, mate, a snide voice in his head chirped. You're on a break.

Shut up, you, he frowned. Love is some pretty powerful shit, okay? She'll be back. We'll be back.

She bloody bro-punched you! Ask Neal, he'll tell you—

Oh, Neal doesn't know everything!

…I think he does.

You're right, he probably does. Hook sighed, running his hand over his hair. He could just hear Neal: "Aw, shit, a bro-punch? That's not good…"

That stupid fucking party. Everything fell to shit at that stupid fucking party. Damn Regina, and her classy affairs! Well, he was certainly glad he made sure to contribute some crass to the class now!

…with Ruby (oh, God, he was going to cry!).

Fuck my life…Fuck. My. Life. Everything sucks. Everything sucks, sucks, sucks—

"Dude!"

Hook whirled around, hastily wiping under his eyes. "N-Neal," he said, trying to fake a smile. "Hey, hi, how are you?"

Neal walked toward him, spreading his arms questioningly. "What the hell have you been doing?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "I saw Ruby leave ten minutes ago. Come on, we're burning daylight, man!"

"Sorry," Hook said, looking down at his shoes. "I was just…"

"What?" Neal craned his neck, looking at him incredulously. "Bro…are you crying again?"

Hook squeezed his eyes shut. "Nope," he lied.

"Your mascara's running."

"Lies."

"You've got black streaks on your face."

"No, I haven't."

"Yes, you do—oh, wow, are we hugging now?" Neal exhaled as Hook suddenly threw his arms around him and proceeded to sob unashamedly into his shoulder. "This is weird, man. You gotta stop."

"My life sucks, Neal," Hook choked. "Everything good keeps falling apart. My mental health—"

"That was always a mess."

"—my girlfriend—"

"Worst relationship ever."

"—my reputation—"

"As the village idiot? That's very much intact." Neal pried Hook's arms off him and stepped back, looking at him warily. "What's wrong with you?"

"Things with Ruby didn't go well," Hook sniffed. "I told her why Archie said we should cool things off—"

"What, you mean all that mom-shit you told me about?" Neal said, wrinkling his nose. "Gross, why do you keep telling people about that?"

"I wanted to be honest with her," Hook sighed. "And I felt bad, because she told me some stuff, so I wanted to return the favor because, you know—"

"It's only polite," Neal shrugged.

"Just how I was brought up," Hook agreed with a sigh. "Anyway, I told her, but she got freaked out, so that backfired majorly. And now she's all, 'Oh, you have an Oedipus complex' and 'Oh, maybe a break would be good for us' and 'Oh, guess what, Hook, I'm going to break your heart into a million thousand pieces for the millionth thousandth time, because I'm Ruby Lucas and I do whatever the fuck I want'."

"Wow. She said that?"

"Not in so many words, but you know…it was implied." Hook slumped, letting out a dejected sigh. "I'm doomed to misery, Neal. Maybe I should just give up. On…everything."

Neal looked at him for a long time, an unreadable expression on his face as he watched Hook shed a few not-so-silent tears (it was a very emotional day, okay? Very emotional!). "Tell you what," he said finally. "I'll let you listen to Beyonce the whole way to New York, if you promise not to cry on my shoulder ever again."

"Britney Spears," Hook countered, immediately sobering.

Neal widened his eyes. "Britney Spears? No. Absolutely not."

"It's Britney, bitch," Hook whispered.

"Stop that."

"I demand Britney!" he insisted. "It's the only thing that will make me feel better!"

"I'll give you Beyonce…and I'll throw in Katy Perry, that's as far as I'll go."

Hook folded his arms, considering deeply. "I'll take Katy Perry…but I want some Christina Aguilera in there, too."

"You can pick Katy or Christina, I'm not listening to both." Neal counted off on his fingers. "It's either Beyonce and Katy, or Beyonce and Christina."

"Beyonce and Britney."

"No Britney."

"Katy and Britney."

"Did you hear 'no Britney'?"

"Taylor Swift."

"No!" Neal said fiercely. "So help me God, I will murder you in cold blood if you subject me to Taylor Swift!"

"Just as well, I loathe her," Hook agreed thoughtfully. "All right, I'll go…Beyonce and Katy. But we have to skip 'Hot'N'Cold', because it reminds me too much of Ruby."

"Fine."

"And 'The One That Got Away' because…it reminds me too much of what might happen wth Ruby."

"Fine."

"And 'Unconditionally', because…I kinda hate that song."

"Okay, fine. Can we go now?"

"Yes," Hook sighed. "Let the road trip commence—nay—" he looked at Neal with gleaming eyes, holding up a finger—"the bro-ad trip."

Neal stared back, unamused. "Get in the fucking car."

"Yes, sir."