Colorado is here people! Wonder how Bella is going to handle skiing. Ugh, this story, I've fallen in love with writing again. Honestly, you guys are so amazing, all your feedback, follows and favorites have kept me going!

Also, if anyone wants to Beta this story, send me a PM. I normally have a friend who reads my stuff before I post, but life is super busy for her right now. I mainly just need someone to read for content (though grammar is a plus).

Well here's the next chapter- I hope you guys enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

xxx

2007: Colorado. Lodge

I hate car rides. Especially long ones. My legs are sore from being cramped for hours on end. Rosalie and Edward couldn't get past five minutes without bickering. So naturally, he got thrown to the back with me, because Rose is 'the oldest, so she gets first privilege." Lucky bitch. Edward spent most of his time listening to his iPod and I spent most of mine leaning against the window.

At least he let you put your legs across his lap. Thank god for small mercies. The memory of his fingers lightly brushing up and down my covered leg makes my cheeks burn. I don't know what's going on between us. He's different. Or maybe I'm different. You're over analyzing. I shake my head willing the memory to go away.

The door to my and Rosalie's room creaks open, it's dark but I can still see the outline of Edward's face come into view.

"Hey, you want to watch a movie or something?" He whispers.

I look over to Rosalie's sleeping form, her phone still in hand. She'd been talking to her boyfriend for over an hour. She must have fallen asleep on the phone.

I nod and quickly throw off the covers and tip toe out.

I follow him into the living room area. There's blankets on the couch and a couple of pillows. Edward makes a pallet on the floor and I go sit down as he picks up a few DVDs.

"So, Dark Knight, Just Friends or Gladiator," he says holding them out to me.

I mewl over the choices. Just Friends, now that won't be awkward at all. I almost snort. Gladiator, that's a safe one. I mean, blood and violence, nothing sexy there- except for shirtless, buff men beating the shit out of each other.

"Gladiator," I say as I hand it back to him.

"You just want to watch a shirtless Russell Crowe," he teases.

Damn straight.

"Well, not initially, but now that you mention it," I joke in return.

He laughs and shakes his head while popping in the movie. We settle with our heads leaning against the edge of the couch. Ten minutes in, a sudden sharp pain radiates through my foot. I groan and lean over and start rubbing my arch.

"You ok?" he asks sitting up as well.

I nod in silence as I rub, but another groan soon escapes my lips. Shit, this is going to be a bad one. I'm prone to foot cramps, I get them all the time, but usually I can get them under control pretty fast. Not this one though, soon it's going to start spreading up my leg.

"Here," he says and scoots down and pulls my foot in his lap.

His thumb presses in the middle of my arch and I nearly shriek. No, I'm not dramatic at all. As he rubs my foot I feel the muscle slowly start to release. But my leg is sore from it and being cramped up in the van for hours.

"Try to lean back," he says still rubbing my foot.

I fall backwards against the pillows propped up.

As the movie plays on, his fingers slowly start creeping up my calf. Crap, I should have thrown on some pajama pants instead of these shorts. Goosebumps break out down my skin at his touch. He doesn't say anything about it, he just keeps on lightly sweeping his fingers up and down my lower exposed leg while his face stays glued on the screen.

My leg is prickly, having shaved a couple of days ago, the skin is no longer smooth. I wonder if he thinks that's gross. My cheeks burn more so at the thought. But he doesn't seem to mind, seeing as he continues touching my leg in soft sweeping motions.

My breathing becomes shaky as chills go down my spine. A familiar tingle spreads through my abdomen and warmth slips downward to a place I'm not entirely used to. I suddenly have the urge to vomit.

A different memory slams into me. And I'm no longer is this room, I'm miles away and it's someone else's hand kneading my legs. My breath catches. This sickening feeling slams into me, and I can't breathe. It's so intense it starts in my toes creeping up my legs. This can't be what that was, no. NO. Because that would mean, and he wouldn't do- Stop Bella. Breathe. Edward's hand lays flat against my leg as he rubs my calf muscle. Now there's a different feeling, I want this, but I don't. I don't know what I want.

His head slowly turns to me. His eyes are fixated on me, his expression tense.

He feels this too.

This should make me happy.

It scares me.

I think I like it.

He lifts his hand, his fingers skim all the way up to my thigh, his breaths heavy and nearly- Is he panting-as he climbs back to where I am, his touch creating tingles down my skin. Then I feel it, the warmth between my legs.

I'm wet.

There's a burning sensation, an ache. It's an uncomfortable ache. I have the sudden urge to release it. I wonder if he does too.

Our shoulders touch and his hand leaves my leg. I let out a shaky breath. He grabs my hand, his fingers intertwine between mine.

"When was the last time you actually slept?" His voice is scratchy, strained.

I swallow.

"I don't know, months ago. I have nightmares," I confess.

I don't know why I said that part, it just tumbled out of my mouth.

He scoots down, softly pushing me down with him before lifting an arm and presses me to his chest.

"I don't sleep much either," he mumbles.

My body is tense.

What am I doing?

What the hell am I doing?

But I can't answer that, because I haven't a fucking clue what I'm doing.

We shouldn't be doing this. It's not right.

But his body is warm and my body relaxes. I can't remember the last time anyone actually held me. I flush in embarrassment.

"Stop annoying me, I'm busy," my mother's irritated face, tone laced with venom and resentment floods through me. I'm back to being a child again, and I feel stupid.

So weak.

Self disgust wells up inside of me. I want to untangle myself from him. But I'm too exhausted to try. So I don't. I just lie there, my hand curled around his waist and close my eyes.

Poor, confused Bella. This chapter was a little difficult to write. Clearly Bella has some issues she needs to work through. Hope you guys liked it! As always, please let me know what you think! Till tomorrow!