Hey Everyone! Happy Saturday! So I'm going to be updating this story early tomorrow morning, because I'll be out all day tomorrow. Prepping my father in laws house to be sold. Bleh. There's so many things I'd rather be doing.

Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

xxx

July 2007: Colorado- Room

"I'm not good with expressing my emotions," I start. "They make me uncomfortable. So I don't know to talk to you."

He jerks his head up to mine, his eyes are sharp.

"What does this have to do with anything," he spits at me.

I let out a bitter laugh.

Everything.

"You make me uncomfortable," I say and immediately he stands up.

"Jesus Bella, way to make me feel any better," he snaps before attempting to stomp off.

Shit. This is all coming out wrong.

"Wait, that's not what-

He rounds on me, his face twisted and pinched with anger.

"Not what you meant?" He laughs. "Don't back track now. Well I'm sorry if I make your skin crawl," he says before turning his back to me.

"Jesus Christ Edward, would you just shut up and listen for once," I yell standing up. "God, you're so self righteous I 'm surprised that your head hasn't exploded from the sheer size of your ego!"

His nostrils flare as he aggressively walks towards me. I should feel intimidated, but I'm too mad to care.

"My self righteousness, you walk around acting like your better than everyone, you hardly talk to any of us, Esme has been trying for years to get you to see her as second mother, and god forbid you even attempt to say one word to me. And yet you call me self righteous!" He yells.

I'm stunned into silence. Is this how he really sees me? Like I'm some self absorbed little girl who just sticks her nose up to everyone? Panic sweeps through me. Oh my god, you just ruin everything don't you? You're a shit daughter, a shit sister. Because why else would your own mother hate you so much? Why else would you ever leave your sister alone with said mother. And Charlie- my chest tightens. No, no, no, no! Mom is crazy! And Charlie- I just can't, I can't even think about it.

But Edward is in front of me staring at my face, his eyes hard and unforgiving. Maybe he's right. Maybe all of them are right.

"I'm sorry," I whisper.

His eyes widen, confusion mirroring in them, like it's the last thing he expected me to say.

"What? Isn't that what you want to hear?" I ask.

He lets out a sigh and steps back.

"No," he mumbles before rubbing his face. "I don't know what I want."

"But that's not the only reason you're mad," I say.

Fuck it, if he requires me to vulnerable, he's doing it to.

His eyes snap back up to mine, defensive.

"Something changed between us, and since the day Mike carried me into the Lodge you've been acting weird," I continue.

Edward shakes his head.

"What does Mike have anything-

"He has everything to do with this," I cut in. "At least for you."

My words hang between us, the air now intense for an entirely different reason. I slowly take a step towards him and his eyes widen, his face panicked, like an injured, cornered animal.

"What do you want Edward," I say.

Please say me. Despite my strong tone, I feel like I'm about to shake out of my skin.

He turns his head from me. "You don't understand Bella," he stumbles out. "What I feel, how I see you," he continues then looks down. "It's not right."

Finally. FINALLY. Taking a step forward I tentatively reach out and grab his wrist. He hisses at my touch.

"What do you want," I repeat, my voice low.

Just do something, say something. Anything.

Edward's stance goes rigid, his face strained. Every part of my body feels on fire, the anticipation mounting. I just want him to say me. He clenches his fists, and sucks in a breath.

Suddenly he turns, grabs my forearms and propels me to the wall. His body presses into mine, his forehead touches my own. A shaky breath escapes my lips as his hands slowly drag up my arms to my neck and finally cradling my head.

His lips are only a breath apart from mine.

"This is wrong," he whispers almost in my mouth. "I shouldn't want this, want you."

My breaths come out in pants, the urge to just lean in and kiss him is overwhelming. My hands creep up his chest and he groans aloud.

"It's okay," I whisper.

It's the wrong thing to say. He's off me before I can blink, his back now to me.

"No Bella," he says his voice rough. "Nothing about this is okay."

I hate that he's right.

Ugh, these two. I really want to throttle them sometimes. At least Edward's being honest, not just moping around and being a dick. Just a little side note everyone, Bella doesn't live at Carlisle's, so she will have to go home- and believe me, the shit show that is her home is really about to be brought to light. So fair warning. Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! See you guys tomorrow!

Also, Bella in my opinion is not weak, but just like most child abuse victims they go through periods of wondering if they're the problem. I don't plan on making Bella a doormat, but she does have issues and those issues don't get resolved overnight. So for those of you that may get irritated that she apologized, believe me, I hated writing that too, but it's a realistic response in my opinion.