So, I am so excited to post this. This is in Edward's POV, so the style is a little different. God, I hope you guys like this one.

A shout-out to Troye Sivan, cause he was musical inspiration for this. Ugh, he's so dreamy. And his music is amazing!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

xxx

OCT 2007: Carlisle's House

Bella is laughing as she blows out the candles. Seventeen. Her fingers work the ribbon on the package. As she ribs open the paper, the tragic smile she flashes my dad before the familiar vacancy fills them makes me uncomfortable.

Bella Swan is an enigma.

She's always been quiet, her keen eye came across as judgmental. Now, something is so clear, so clear it's nearly tragic. It's something I cannot ignore no matter how much I wish I could.

Someone hurt Bella Swan.

That keen eye, that I'd misjudged by my sheer arrogance is mocking me. When I found her in the kitchen, I meant what I said, about her entitlement, her apathy and complete disinterest in my family. And now, the pieces fall together.

Bella never hugged without looking like she was in pain.

Bella rarely ever spoke what was going on in that head of hers.

I knew she never had a boyfriend before, but her awkwardness in something simple as a hug or holding hands went deeper than lacking relationship experience.

"What, never held hands before?"

"That, I love you, any of it."

I found myself completely intrigued by her. I never once considered her attractive, not that I thought she was ugly, but just never considered her in that light. And then she sang, and suddenly it was like I was seeing her for the first time. The impact so crushing and suffocating, set my brain into complete panic mode and my skin on fire.

Bella Swan has secrets.

What I wouldn't give to know them.

I tried to contain it, the way she affected me, but when she stood wearing that bikini, I couldn't help myself. Shame flooded through me while my hand pumped myself to thoughts of my fingers touching, feeling and fantasies of what laid beneath the flimsy material that left little to the imagination.

When Mike carried her in, I was flooded with rage, jealousy, and this deep want to be that for her. But to what end? What did I want? Being attracted to her wasn't enough. Some part of me recognized there is more, potential for more, but I knew if I opened that door there would be no going back.

I knew she was at least attracted to me, but her confrontation completely unsettled me.

Bella Swan is brave.

It was then I knew I had to put a stop to whatever was happening to us. There was just too much at stake to risk.

And then she kissed me.

And I ran, like a coward.

I really believed when she left, when I could wake up without seeing her I would come to my senses.

I was wrong.

She kissed me and I can't stop thinking about it.

Can't stop thinking about her.

I hate myself for it.

And maybe her too.

I know I should move on.

But that's the problem, I don't want to move on.

I don't want to date someone else, be with someone else, kiss someone else.

And if she-

Dear god, just the thought of someone else's hands on her makes my fists shake and my vision red.

She's opening her presents, smiling in such a way I've never seen before. It's bright, happy and carefree.

It doesn't match her eyes.

And speaking of eyes, hers has failed to reach mine since the minute she walked in.

"What do you want."

I feel like I can't breathe.

"Thank you," her voice is light as she smiles to Rosalie.

Rosalie gives her a hug and Bella returns it, but there's an unmistakable flash of irritation that passes through her. But it's gone as quickly as it came.

"Well, you guys should go to bed, it's getting late," my stepfather says.

Rosalie whines, and Bella nods. She gets up, runs a hand through her long brown hair, and passes me without a second glace.

"This can't happen again."

My own words are mocking me. She finally headed my words. It stings.

My feet carry me to my own room and I sit on the edge of the bed. She's only across the hall. It's so close it burns.

"What do you want?"

My hands shake.

"What do you want?"

Labored breaths.

"What do you want?"

Her mouth on mine.

"What do you want?"

I pull my hair out.

"What do you want?"

Her soft body pressed against the mattress.

"What do you want?"

My hands stroking long and vicious against my length.

"What do you want?"

My fingers trailing up her thigh.

"What do you want?"

Her bedroom door opens. My eyes snap across the room.

"What do you want?"

Her.

My feet are moving towards my door, my hand closing around the knob opening it.

Her eyes widen. A muttered apology before she turns to go back. My hand wraps around her wrist, pulling her inside as a little yelp escapes her lips.

I want those lips on mine.

My body presses her into the door as I close it.

Her hands press against my chest her mouth opening. "What-

My mouth cuts her off. Her hands grasp my shirt pulling me closer to her as I moan into her mouth. She tastes like toothpaste. My tongue sweeps across her lower lip and she opens her mouth. My hands grab her wrists and push them hard against the door as my tongue slips into her mouth.

She cries a little, fighting against my hold, but she's not trying to get away.

More.

More.

"More."

Her voice whispers, cracked and desperate.

My hands let go of her wrists slowly crawling down her sides and hoists her up. Her legs wrap around my waist as I carry her to the bed, her mouth kissing, nipping and teeth biting against my skin. Her tongue sweeps over the wound, and I feel on fire.

She's clinging onto me like a lifeline.

Bella Swan is afraid.

And her bravery despite her fear causes a flood of emotions to erupt inside me I cannot decipher through.

My face rest against hers. She opens her eyes, wide and cautious, her chest heaving under me.

"I tried staying away from you," I breath against her lips.

She leans up, her hand grasping my hair.

"Stop," she breathes into my mouth.

My mouth moves against her. "We can't tell anyone."

Her other hand toys with the hem of my shirt. Her fingers caress the skin and my breath hitches as her hand travels up my chest.

"Then we won't," she whispers.

I might have swooned after finishing this chapter. I really hope the wait was worth it!

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, please let me know what you think! I'm very interested in what you guys think about this one!