I am so tired you guys. I think I got maybe three hours of sleep last night? Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

xxx

OCT 2007: Church

I kick pebbles across the asphalt. I swear, if I had listen to one more word of that bullshit I might have blown a gasket.

I can't stand when people start twisting words in a book written by a bunch of men as a way to shamelessly dupe the masses. Faith of a mustard seed my ass.

Seth's face comes to mind and my fingers dig into my palms. If only it were that simple, then all the world's problem would have already been fixed if what they're teaching was the truth.

"You okay," Edward asks standing beside me. "You seemed like you couldn't get out of there fast enough."

I snicker. Not fast enough.

"Fine," I say instead.

Edward sighs and grabs my hand.

"I wish you would just talk to me, I mean you're clearly anything but fine," he says as his thumb rubs against my skin.

My eyes flicker to the ground. Can you handle my truth? I'm not sure he can. Nevertheless, he deserves my honesty, not my canned bullshit.

"People throw the word faith around like it's some magical wand that can solve all the bad shit that happens," I start still refusing to look at him. "It's annoying. My brother is practically blind, and saying stuff like that is an insult to him. It's like, to them, he deserves his disability, because clearly he just doesn't have enough faith to pray it away." I continue pulling my hand out of his. "It's a load of crap."

Memories of Seth crawling on the floor, hand out, feeling for his glasses as Charlie kicks them away laughing fester in my mind. Where was God then?

Edward's hand comes down on my should as he turns to me towards him.

"Bella," he says his tone breathless. "Look at me."

My eyes travel up to his face. His eyes are warm, and there is no pity. Concern maybe, but no pity. Suddenly he wraps his arms around me.

There's this need to cling to him, like a starved child. It's overwhelming.

I feel sick.

I hate that I want his affection so much.

So weak.

My arms push against him but he doesn't relent. He only tightens his hold. Alarm bells are going off, half of me wants to sob against his chest, and the other half hates myself for it.

"I wish you would just let me in," he whispers.

I go slack against him, not reciprocating his touch but no longer fighting.

It feels safe.

I hope it actually is.

"You may not like what you find," I murmur against him.

He releases me only to wipe the flyaway hairs from my face. His lips fall to mine as his arm snakes around my waist. His mouth is soft and the kiss is sweet, so different than our previous ones.

"I might surprise you," he breathes into my mouth before kissing me again.

His lips press harder against me, more desperate, needy and hot. We can't do this here, and he knows. So he steps back.

"I don't want you go home today," he says putting his hands in his pant pockets.

"Me neither," I say with a sigh.

We stay like this for a moment, quiet. Soon enough I hear people's laughter as they file out the doors. Our moment is over. He grabs my hand and pulls me to the side of the building, determined before he crashes into me, mouth on mouth, pushing me up against the brick wall.

His hands grab at my dress, tingles go down my spine.

"I have to go to work soon," he mumbles between kisses.

My hands grab the back of neck, my fingers tangling through his unruly hair. My tongue darts into his mouth. He tastes like coffee.

"I just need a little longer," he says.

We're playing with fire, anyone could turn the corner and see us. We need to stop.

But I don't want to.

I want this to last forever.

He pulls back with a gasp, panting while adjusting his pants.

"I should go find dad," I say looking at him for a moment.

He's so good looking, it nearly hurts.

He just nods. I turn to leave but he hugs me from behind. Pressing a kiss against my neck. I nearly moan. We have to stop. But I just let myself feel him.

So weak.

Warmth floods through me.

Shut up.

Three weeks. Three weeks and then I'll have him for four days.

"Bella," Carlisle's voice rings out.

Time's up.

Edward's grasp tightens before he lets me go.

We say goodbye and I make my way to the doors. Carlisle is standing there with two other adults.

"There you are," he says before waving at the couple. "We need to get a move on, your flight is in two hours."

I don't say anything as we make our way to the car, my suitcase is already loaded. The ride to the airport is quiet. I sleep on the plane, seeing as Edward and I didn't sleep much at all last night. As I make my way through the crowd I see the familiar face of my mother in view. She's smiling.

A pretty new ring rests on her finger. The diamonds glimmer as they catch the light.

It's not a token of affection. My mother can be bought.

Anger, resentment and bitterness crawl up my throat, but I push it back.

At least she won't be crazy for a few days.

Until the shininess dulls. Then the crazy will return.

It always does.

I hope you guys enjoyed this one!

Also, I've started another Edward/ Bella story. It's dark, romantic and completely different than this one. If that's your thing, go check it out! It's called The Haunting of Edward Masen. That one will be updated on Sundays and Wednesdays!

Till tomorrow!