Too many days in the darkness

Without a glimpse of the light

Runnin' tired and broken and scared

But I swear I'll never give up the fight

I see you broken and beaten

Hat pulled down over your eyes

Every part of you wants to surrender

But darlin' you were meant to survive

With every start, we are born again

Open your heart, spend less time in your head

Just like a seed in a garden, you will grow to be tall

Staring out over miles of land without ever wanting to build up walls

Lift me up in your branches, we can watch the sun rise

Just a couple of bruised up souls that believe that it was worth one more try

With every start, we are born again

Open your heart, spend less time in your head

With every start, we are born again

Open your heart, spend less time in your head

Born Again, Michael Shynes

I awoke to the quiet sounds of his breathing, soft and rhythmic, cradled in his arms. Sitting up, I looked out towards the mountains. Snow drifted past my balcony, beyond, a pale sun just beginning to awaken at the border between land and cloud. I slid my legs out from under the covers, and leaning against the bedposts, I rose shakily. Azriel stirred, then lay still, the quiet sounds returning to its steady pattern. Looking at him, I saw the shadows of another face within his, chocolate brown hair, a face not quite so elven-looking. Then, blinking, the image disappeared, replaced by sorrow, inescapable, despairing. Carefully, I walked towards the balcony,steadying myself as I went. Staring out into the city lights, so many pieces of memories I couldn't remember the words to flooded me, and I collapsed against the railing, holding myself to the slender bars. The snow fell around me, soft white flakes gently gliding down to earth, but was this the earth I knew? Threads of music wrapped around me, warm, and the words came to me, "Someone told me, but I won't know…

That I feel half empty, ripped and torn…"

Pausing, I leaned against the railing, reaching up towards the dark sky, cold and forbidding, so different from the warmth inside the mansion that they housed me in. Was this where I truly belonged? Opening my mouth, I continued my song, somehow comforting, despite not knowing where it came from, from within me, somewhere I didn't recall.

"Ooh, I don't want this to break you

Ooh, but I've got no one else to talk to

I don't know if you mean everything to me

And I wonder, can I give you what you need?

Don't want to find I've lost it all

Too scared to have no one to call

So can we just pretend

That we're not falling into the deep end?"

Looking towards Azriel, I saw him stir, and the limp shadows that were his wings raise, and settle. Did I truly want to remember? I winced as pain coursed through me at the thought, the same pain I felt with the sorrow that came with the whispers of memories. "I don't want to remember."

I said aloud, shocking myself just a little. It had been unconscious. "I don't want to remember my past."

"Well, that settles that then, I suppose." Azriel sat up, stretching and yawning. I nodded in agreement. "Come in, aren't you cold?"

"Not particularly. I like this over the stuffy sort of warmth in there." I answered as he got out of bed and walked over to me, stopping at the door. I held my hand out to him, and he shifted, then came, helping me up. "We call this the House of Wind."

He told me solemnly. I looked around. It certainly made sense. So near the sky, where the wind blew sure and strong, the many balconies, built into the mountain-top. "It's beautiful here."

"We use this place as the headquarters, for the Court of Dreams." There was a strange inflection in his voice, but I ignored it, looking out over the city that seemed his home. "The Court of Dreams."

The words fit in my mouth. I looked around again. Bright colors did not match the dreary sky in the city. "Is the weather always like this?"

"No. Most often it is clear out, but many citizens don't mind the sky at day. This is the city that lives by starlight." He gestured towards the city as he spoke. The strangeness was gone, instead replaced by a soft affection. "It's most beautiful by night."

"Why live here and not in the city?" I asked. He pointed towards the river. "Rhysand does have a townhouse, near the river, but this is most suitable for viewing Starfall, and this is where I am when I am not traveling."

"What is this Starfall?" I squinted into the sky, hoping to see a rare first-light star. "The way we of Velaris, the city of starlight, celebrate the Spring Equinox."

He inclined his head as Rhys strode onto the balcony.

"Azriel."

Rhys acknowledged, clapping Azriel on the shoulder. "It's good to see you both awake."

Silent understanding passed between them, and Azriel briefly hugged me to him, shocking me only a little, and left silently. I looked at Rhysand. "You are Rhysand, correct?"

"Yes, I am. This is Prythian, and welcome to Velaris. You had...a sort of uncommon entry." He laughed, a rich sound. I nodded in agreement. "How long have I been here?"

"It's been a week, nearly." I looked at him. "Has it really?"

"Yes, and a week since we've seen Azriel outside your room." His eyes were laughing, his tone sounded serious. I hugged myself, starting to get a little bit cold. "Here, let's get you inside."

He extended a graceful hand, and I gratefully took it, as he escorted me back into the magically warmed room. "Is it...magic? What you use here, to warm the room?"

"Yes, why my ancestors built this palace in the mountains, I don't know, but my magic is linked to keeping this place warm no matter the weather outside." He sighed. "I didn't come here to chat with you about this."

My gaze must have turned worried, for he laughed, and sat me down on the bed, remaining standing himself. "Don't worry, it is nothing truly major. Would you like to live here?"

I considered it. I had no other place to turn to, as I knew nothing of this place, Prythian. "Prythian?"

He nodded. "Here, in...Velaris?"

"Yes." He answered. I wanted to find out more about Prythian and Azriel, his friends. "Yes...yes I'd like to live here."

"That's settled then. We'll teach you more about here, your mating bond with Azriel." He began. I cut him off. "Is that what you call it? That glittery trail?"

"You can see it? In your mind?" His voice sounded ever so slightly incredulous. I nodded. "What is the mating bond?"

He sighed, running his fingers through his hair. "I'll go back to the basics. It's a Cauldron-made bond between two strong Fae to ensure the continuation of our people. Some people find it, and it's very precious and rare. Azriel felt it snap in place between you when he caught you."

"I felt it too. It felt like being wrapped in light." I wasn't too surprised. It didn't feel too strange to me, and I didn't mind it. It was comforting, to know he was there. Rhysand looked surprised. "And you are alright with this?"

"I don't mind it I suppose. It's better than being alone." I smoothed out my night dress, slightly embarrassed by his intense, searching look. He sighed again. "I'm sorry to make you uncomfortable. Do you feel strong enough to go downstairs?"

I pondered for a moment, and decided it'd be better to meet everyone now rather than wait, and nodded my agreement. He took my arm, and led me to the door. Opening it, I saw Azriel waiting outside. "Azriel."

I said, a little surprised. He glanced at me, and fidgeted, his beautiful shadows shifting with him. Rhysand handed me over to him, and I took his arm. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I nodded shyly. With Azriel on one side, and Rhysand on the other, the pair led me down into a large, airy room, with sturdy furniture fashioned a little oddly. Then realizing, I look at Azriel's wings, and the chair back, and saw they had been fashioned for those who bore wings. A loose semicircle of people stood before the entryway. Two looked quite similar to Feyre, one tall and more angry, the other soft and extremely beautiful. The softer one stood by a crimson-haired male with scarring on his face, and on the side of the angry one shifted a rough-hewn male who looked like carved stone, tanned and weathered. In between her, presumably, sisters stood Feyre. On the other side of the rough male who had a set of wings like Azriel was Morrigan, and next to her Amren. Rhysand swept an arm, gesturing to the half-circle. "This is the Court of Dreams, the Inner Circle."

I inclined my head to them, dipping ever so slightly, as much as I could without falling. He brought me to Feyre first. "This is Feyre, my mate, and High Lady of the Night Court. We'll talk about the Courts later."

Feyre's sister, the beautiful one, had soft brown hair like Feyre's, but her features were more rounded, and the high tips of her ears shone pink with life. "Elain Archeron."

She looked at me with fear in her eyes, but took my hand with both of hers and squeezed gently, as if comforting. The crimson-haired male with the mechanical eye took my hand with one of his, the other returning to Elain. Azriel at my side shifted, seeming unsettled. When he spoke, his voice sounded like sunlight, warm, rough, but equally kind and cruel. "Lucien Vanserra, Emissary of the Spring Court. Or at least I was. Now I am the Emissary of the Night Court."

He nodded to Rhysand, his mechanical eye flickering. Scarring that covered his face tightened with his expression. He let go of my hand, and Rhysand swept me to the other side. "Amren, my Second-in Command here."

Her gray eyes glittered, flashing with a deeply hidden hint of silver. "So you decided to stay."

I nodded, my voice strong with determination. "I have."

"Good. We need more like you, shadowsinger or daemati." Her words confused me, and Azriel's shadows swept around me. Morrigan took my hands, her hands rough with callus, yet delicate, declaring, "I like you already. I am the Morrigan."

"The?" I asked. She nodded. "There has only been one like me for a long time."

Considering it, her head tilted prettily, she shook her head, golden hair floating. "I suppose that no longer is true. Please, call me Mor."

"Mor." I tested it out. Azriel's grip tightened on my arm. I looked at him. His expression was taut, nervous. Smiling at me, Mor's gaze softened on Azriel, and she made the barest hint of a nod, before I was moved bodily by Azriel, to the rough-hewn male. His black hair was to his shoulders, tied half-up. His membranous, scarred wings didn't seem quite as large as Azriel's, but he carried himself with the lethal grace of some predatory creature. He wore simple black, but with red stones that glowed from within embedded in the molded leather. "Cassian. I'm Rhys's General Commander of his armies."

I hmm'ed a small noise of acknowledgement to him, and looked at Rhysand and Azriel, in turn. "Should all of you really be telling me this? For all you know, I could be pretending and be an enemy of yours."

There was a moment of silence, and then Cassian laughed abruptly, the others slowly joining him. "Azriel would have known, or Elain would have told us."

Explained Rhys, Elain nodding quietly, their mirth subsiding into Mor's small giggles. "Azriel?"

Was my curious reply. At my side, he nodded silently, lifting a hand wreathed in shadows. "You see these?"

I nodded as well. The shadows danced around my hand, drifting to me, ethereal, yet seeming solid. "They allow me to hear and see things that most wouldn't see. I'm Rhys' spymaster, which is why I travel so much."

That made more sense, what he had said in our earlier conversation, and their trust in me. "So you truly know I am from somewhere else."

Elain spoke, her voice quiet and trembling, the first words I had heard from her. Her dust-pink gown drifted around like it had caught a strong breeze, such were the force of her quivers. "You are not of this world. I have seen that much."

"What of my name?" My own words caught me by surprise, the desperate, driving need to know even a part of who I was. Elain swallowed, her face pale. Her grip on Lucien tightened, and so did his gaze. "Maybe this should wait."

He said. Nesta and Feyre had drifted over to her as we spoke, and they now took her arms, settling her on a chair, soothing her. Lucien remained where he was. Cassian shifted uneasily, crossing and uncrossing his arms. It was Amren who answered my silent questions. "Elain doesn't often speak, and she's the one who saw your arrival originally. She wouldn't tell us, and I don't think she's ready to tell you, nor are you ready to hear."

I bristled at the remark, the implication I wasn't strong enough, but then thought again to my moment of clarity, that I didn't want to know who I was. "Fine,"

I said, standing tall, my voice strong as I could make it. "I will wait however long it takes."

So. If y'all haven't noticed, I'm not an author-person to write author's notes. I used to. Once I started reading more, I found I got annoyed at them, and often skipped the ones in the middle of stories, because of some reason or another. I like uninterrupted reading. But...I do want all my readers to know I appreciate them for reading my drabble, because honestly, this started as drabble, then it became longer, and longer, and longer. I have a 24 page google doc and it's my second-longest google doc ever. Size 14 Astloch font. Ya. But, thanks y'all for reading! I won't be regularly updating, as I'm pretty busy, but I'll get chapters out as fast as I can get 'em.