Ohhhh, you're such a little baby!
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THESE DAMN VOICES?!" Bill cried out.
(You see, the voices in Bill's head are coming from me! For you see, my identity is wigity yigity, but the rhyme must end, because I must remain anonymous.)
"ANSWER ME YOU BASTARDS!"
(To cut things short, I have sold out to the United Craters of The Moon so that I could afford a new computer.)
You will never find love again! Mwwaaahhaahhhaahhhahhhhhaaa!
"YOU'RE WRECKING MY LIFE!" Bill unmarriedly scratched, like the single man he is.
"DID SOMEONE PUT YOU UP TO THIS?! TELL ME DAMMIT!"
What Bill didn't know, was that Dale was behind this all.
(Dale wasn't actually involved, but he is a threat to the UCTM.)
"DALE?! I KNEW THAT JERK WAS BEHIND THIS!"
Bill ran outside but forgot to put some pants on.
"What the?! Where the Hell did my pants go?!"
In his confusion, Bill ran into a thorny rose bush. He quickly escaped, but lost his underwear in the process … Why Dale?
"YOU'RE A DEAD MAN DALE!"
Bill made his way over to Dale's house. Sadly for him, he had alerted much of the neighborhood. Maybe you shouldn't scream dumbass. Wingo!
"YOU'RE DEAD! FUCKING DEAD!"
Cops had already been called. If Bill wants to kill Dale, he better do it quickly.
Bill kicked their front door down and was met with a golf club to the chest.
"Oh God Dale! Bill got in!" Nancy cried out.
Dale ran downstairs, dressed in a G-String, and armed with a whip.
"I know this is some Government conspiracy to kill me off! But you ain't getting past my whip!" *Whip*
Bill was whipped directly across his nuts, causing intense pain and rage.
"YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD, DALE! anD I SuPPort the emPIre oF Mars!" Bill raged, clearly announcing his support for the Empire of Mars.
(Please vote for the UCTM in the upcoming election :D)
Bill headbutted Nancy and swiped her golf club.
(I forgot to mention, They put cocaine in his water supply. it's kicking in riiiigghhhtttt now.."
"You're ruining my life Dale! YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!"
Bill rushed at Dale, completely ignoring the repeated whippings. Before Dale could even consider panicking, Bill cracked Dales head open with the golf club.
"Who's laughing now, hmmm?"
Dale was killed on impact. His lifeless body fell to the ground only moments later. Also, Bill suddenly started thinking about naked men. Naked men naked men naked-
"B-BUT I KILLED YOU! WHY ARE YOU STILL IN MY HEAD?! AND WHY NAKED MEN?!"
(He hasn't figured it out! Now's my chance to finish this.)
Things were about to get worse for Bill. Instead of cops showing up, the fucking army surrounded Dale's house.
"Bill! Come out with your hands up, or we will open fire!" The General threatened.
(Yes, they even sent in the fucking General.)
Bill couldn't stop thinking about naked men and began to furiously masturbate… without lube.
"OH GOD! IT FEELS LIKE MY DICK IS BURNING!"
A soldier with binoculars watched in shock.
"My God… H-HE'S JERKING OFF TO THAT DEAD MAN'S BODY!"
The General's face froze in shock.
"Men… Open fire!" The General ordered.
Just as the soldiers began firing, Bill ran out while still masturbating. He was consequently filled with bullets, but none of them were killing shots.
"OWWW! OWWWWW!" Bill cried out, while still masturbating.
"What the? Use the RPG!" The General ordered while getting head from Lenore.
"L-Lenore?" Bill wept.
As Bill began to cry, he was blown to bits by the rocket…..
(Now to sell this propaganda, and get myself a new laptop!)