Thank God the holidays are OVER! I am now officially back on schedule. Seriously you guys, the past month has been insane! I got sick, then my husband got sick, then his mother got sick. It was awful! But I'm feeling much better now. Anyways, I really hope you like this chapter!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

xxx

February 2008: Restaurant: Carlisle & Bella

"I spoke to your stepfather yesterday," my dad says before taking a sip of his wine.

I push my chicken around my plate.

"How is she?" I ask not looking up.

She probably hates you.

An uncomfortable feeling settles in the pit of my stomach at the thought. My fingers grip the fork a little tighter before taking a bite of chicken.

"She's," my dad starts before pausing. "Better, from what I hear."

I snort a little.

Yeah, better till she isn't.

"Bella," my dad starts in a patronizing tone. "She's going to therapy and taking her medication. You have to at least give her a chance."

My fork clangs against the plate. A tightness spreads across my chest.

Give her a chance? I find it hard to breathe. He's sending me back.

"You think that one month of therapy and being medicated for all of three weeks suddenly means I'm supposed to just hop back on a plane and live there again as if nothing happened?" I hiss at him.

My dad's eyes widen.

"Bella, I'm not saying you have to live there," he quickly says and suddenly I can breathe again. "No one is going to make you go back," he says leaning across the table, more soft this time. "But she is trying. Look, I think you should go visit her next weekend."

The statement hangs in the air. I fall back against my chair, my appetite now completely ruined.

I don't want to be there. Honestly, I'd rather I just never go back and pretend none of them exist.

Leah's face comes to mind. Memories of our last time together scream at me.

"Love me! Love me more than you hate her!"

Immediately I'm slammed with guilt.

You're a terrible sister.

"What's she taking medication for?" I ask instead.

"She has Bi Polar disorder," my dad says. "To be honest, it doesn't surprise me."

My eyes narrow.

"What do you mean, doesn't surprise you?"

He looks at me before taking another sip of his wine.

"Your mother, has always had her issues," he says placing the wine glass down. "We were so young when we got married. About three months after the wedding, she became irritable, irrational at times. When I would leave for work, everything was fine, and when I'd get home, suddenly things were anything but fine. I never knew what I was coming home to."

Red blinds my vision. My hands begin to shake so I grab the fabric of my skirt, fisting the material in my hands.

You knew all this and still left me with her?

It's surreal, the depth of just how much he knows. How much he's seen and he says it so carelessly. Like what's he's put me through is no big deal.

"Your mother loves you Bella," he says. "She may have her issues, but she does love you. And you don't have to go back," he continues before folding his hands under his chin. "It'll break her heart if you choose to stay here, but no one is going to force you to do anything."

I stare at him.

His words wash over me, striking a place in me that's painful and so unfair.

You're being selfish Bella, she can't help if she's sick.

Suddenly that painful feeling begins to morph, my vision becomes blurry. I dissect his words, leave my emotions out of them. I know what's he's doing.

And it's shitty.

I could never understand why I always felt so unwanted by him, always secretly believed it was my fault somehow.

And now?

My mother hurt me.

She hurt my sister.

She's been hurting us for years.

He knows this.

And now he's trying to make me feel guilty so I'll go back?

Why?

His face is sympathetic, soft but that softness doesn't reach his eyes.

Why?

My eyes burn as my hands shake.

Why do I feel unwanted and unloved by the people who are supposed to love me the most?

Pandora's box is about to open, and god, I don't want to deal with shit show that is my feelings when it bursts.

I need to know. For once, I need to know where I stand with him.

"But you think I should go back, to give her a second chance," I say, careful not to inject any venom or bitterness.

He simply nods.

"You have a life there Bella, friends," he begins. "I really do think that it would be in your best interest to go back, but like I said, no one's going to force you."

I'm stunned. Angry. And hurt.

I could laugh.

He doesn't want you here.

I suck in a breath.

He doesn't want you.

I'm itching to throw my napkin on the plate and just call my crazy mother to come get me.

After all, the devil you know is better than the devil you don't know.

But what good in the end would that do?

In the end, I'll be the one to suffer for it.

My mother's words regarding her own parents slam into me, it almost knocks me to the ground.

"I realized then, my parents weren't going to look after me. I was just going to have to pull myself up by my bootstraps and look after myself."

The weight of those words fall on me.

Funny Mother, the thing your parents did to you, the thing that caused the most damage, you've gone and inflicted on me.

The realization of my situation finally dawns on me.

You have to look after yourself, cause Lord knows, neither of them will.

My back straightens and I push all my hurt and anger aside.

"I really like school here," I start and look him in the eye. "I want to at least finish the year. After that I'll think about it."

My dad nods.

I don't miss the flash of disappointment in his eyes.

Oh Bella, the feels in this chapter. I really hate my Carlisle in this story at times.

Renee's history will be revealed as the story goes on.

More E & B in the next chapter!

Please, like always, let me know what you think!