Chapter 5: These Secrets That We Keep

FLASHBACK - Eleven Years Earlier

Rey had vacated and locked her bunk on the Resistance base on Ajan Kloss. She had all that she owned stuffed into a rucksack, slung over her shoulder, and the clothes on her back. Fiddling with the hem of the precious black fabric that now clothed her, she entered the hangar bay in search of Poe and Finn.

She found her pair of best friends together, as she suspected, working on repairing the hyperdrive of a particularly troublesome A-Wing. Poe was halfway under the machine, tinkering with the wiring, while Finn - leaning against the plane - looked on.

Finn lit up when he saw his best friend. "Hey, Rey!" A split second later, he needed to cover his ears as loud white noise blasted their eardrums. It shut off abruptly, and Poe cursed.

"Son-of-a-bitch..." he swore at the defiant A-Wing.

Stooping, Rey called, "Poe, can I talk with you and Finn for a minute?"

"Did somebody call?" Poe's voice was quickly followed by his feet as he tried to back out from under the A-Wing... only to then hit his head on the fuselage. "Ow!"

"Oh!" Rey gasped, both hands going to her mouth. "Oh, I'm sorry..."

"Heh, that's all right," Poe chuckled, rubbing the top of his head and scooting clear of the ship and into the sunlight. He frowned in bemusement as he took Rey in. She was clad in a baggy black sweater that went well past her knees, hanging on her body like a dress. Black drawstring pants were cinched on her bony hips as far as they would go. Her face sported an almost sad smile. "What's with the sleepwear? It's the middle of the day."

"It's not sleepwear," Rey sniffed. "It's my comfort clothes."

"Aren't those kind of like the same thing?" Finn tried pointing out. She ignored him, picking at the hem of Ben's old sweater again nervously. The black garb certainly seemed to live up to its name of comfort clothes, with how jittery Rey was now being.

"I've... I've come to say goodbye," Rey finally got out. The boys stared at her, flummoxed. "I'm going away for a while."

"But you just got back from Tatooine. What's there left to do?" Poe wondered. "Aside from bringing the Jedi back."

"I..." And Rey's vision swam with tears. "I can't tell you that. Force knows I wish I could! I just need to go away for a while." There were a lot of things she needed to do in solitude. Train. Grieve for Ben. And nest for the new life that would soon be upon her... "I'll be taking the Falcon; BB8 can stay with you, Poe." She waited for the boys to uproar, protest that the Falcon was their best fighter ship. But apparently that was the least of their concerns.

"You can't just leave!" Poe bemoaned. "We need you!" Rey didn't trust herself to reply to that with anything adequate, so she bit her tongue, except to say:

"You two will get on fine..." Wiping tears from her eyes, she turned away and stalked towards Han Solo's old ship. Right away, through the Force, she could feel a certain someone coming after her. She sighed.

"Finny, I... I can't tell... there's nothing further for me to explain..."

"That's a kriffing lie!" Finn caught up with her, spinning her around and giving her a little shake. "What won't I understand? What can't you tell me?"

Rey whimpered, shaking her head to keep further tears at bay. "It's better that you don't know..."

"I'm your best friend! Best friends know everything about each other! You can trust me! Rey..." and here his voice broke. "Please don't leave me. Not again. It was hell without you after Starkiller; it was hell when you ran from Kef Bir and then I thought you were dead."

She gave him a watery smile. "Is that what you're worried about? That you'll never again lay eyes on me?"

"Among other things. I can't lose you, Rey."

"You won't lose me," she shook her head, still smiling bittersweetly. "We'll see each other again. I believe that." And standing up on her tiptoes, she chastely kissed his mouth. Drawing away, she cupped his cheek affectionately. "May the Force be with you, my friend."

END OF FLASHBACK

The Force had been telling him there was so much more than what she was saying, that last day. But Finn had been so new to the Force at the time that he hadn't known how to sense what Rey had been hiding or how to in some other way independently get to the truth.

Ever since, Finn had been replaying that day over and over again in his mind for eleven years, just as he did once more while sitting up in bed, unable to sleep even as his wife dozed and dreamed beside him. His and Rey's final moments together had tormented and haunted him for reasons he had, until recently, been unable to explain. Now, with the arrival of Kira, he understood why.

Rey had to have been pregnant at the time she left him on Ajan Kloss. There was no other explanation. Why else would she wear such loose fitting clothing, if not to hide her pregnancy? That set of black outerwear had mysteriously appeared soon after the end of the war. No mention had been made by Rey of how she had come by the clothing, and the Force was whispering to Finn that that black sweater held more significance than he might ever want to know.

There was a rustling of the sheets and soft purring as Finn felt Jannah stir. Before long, he felt her soft hands working a tender massage into his shoulder blades. He leaned back into her touch with a sigh, allowed her palm to turn his cheek back and lovingly capture his lips with hers. Drawing away, he gazed into her soft brown eyes, framed by a round and strikingly beautiful face. Her belly sat pronounced under the bedclothes, its voluptuousness only adding to her unparalleled beauty.

"What's wrong? Come back to bed," she entreated, winding her fingers through his.

"Can't sleep," he shook his head. "Just thinking."

Jannah dipped her lips into his neck. "About?" she murmured, licking along his pulse point, and Finn shivered in delight.

He sighed and forced it out. "About how it's my job to form a galactic government. My best friend's kid, the descendant of two of the most infamous Sith Lords of all time, is my responsibility. It very well may fall to me to put the entire Jedi Order back together. And... I've been thinking about Rey."

His wife stilled ever so slightly against him at that last admission, but the hesitation that always swirled around speaking of the Jedi was not as cold as it had been in the past. Jannah had been moved by deep maternal instinct when her husband had come to her that evening and explained the situation surrounding Kira, displaying an understanding that left Finn even more hopelessly in love with her.

"Something deep in my bones told me that she was pregnant when she left me that day, and I just couldn't put the clues together. She was pregnant, and probably scared and feeling alone. Why did she run away? Why didn't she come to me? Tell me all of this? We're a family - or, at least, I thought we were."

He felt Jannah bob her head next to him, actively listening. After a moment of silence, she asked:

"Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything," Finn blinked in surprise.

"Did you love her?" Jannah whispered the inquiry, but Finn felt the intense storm of jealousy swirling around his wife in the Force. Jannah Calrissian felt as jealous towards Rey as Rose Tico had been before her. And yet despite this, Finn felt the need to answer honestly.

"I did... once." Jannah blinked in astonishment, obviously not expecting him to display such forthrightness. Finn couldn't help but smirk chidingly. "I thought when we married, we agreed never to lie to each other." He glanced out the window, towards the moon, his voice wistful. "Yes, I did love Rey... yes, I did once have feelings for her. But she never felt the same."

"Did you ever tell her?" Jannah probed, and only the Force helped Finn detect the slight bobble of fear in her voice.

Finn shook his head. "No... because I already knew what her answer would be. She was... never mine to lose. Someone else stole her heart." He huffed out a breath. "In any case, it's just as well. My feelings for her shifted overtime, into something almost brotherly..." He turned back to her with a grin. "And the Force pointed me towards the woman I love."

Jannah beamed at him, blushing. The broad grin not leaving her face, she firmly pushed Finn down into the mattress and swung one leg across his hips to straddle him. Guiding his hands to roam over her body, ghost over her pregnant belly.

"Make love to me, then," she gasped, her eyes rolling shut as she threw her head back. "I need you to fuck me. For the baby." Her urges had emerged hard and fast during this late stage of her pregnancy.

Finn smirked impishly. Flipping Jannah onto her back, the pair laughed as he crawled on top of her. Kissing her deeply, Finn made quick work of his sleep pants and rolled back the hem of Jannah's nightdress, revealing her creamy, chocolate thighs. Her damp folds were soon exposed to the cool night air and he fiendishly buried his head between her spread legs. Fingers disappearing into his long hair, Jannah arched her back with a gasp, her eyes wide and her thighs scrabbling for purchase along the bed as Finn's hands ghosted up towards her hips.

"Mmmmmm... Oh, no..."

"Oh, yes..."

"Oh, Gods, nooooooo..." Jannah wailed.

"Yessss... Yesss..."

"Hmmm... Finn... Finn, please..." Her legs were now trembling violently, her breasts heaving as she started breathing in rough gasps. Finally, her walls clenched around Finn's face and Jannah stiffened. "FINN!" She came hard and long on his mouth, her husband lapping up her juices greedily.

His face emerging from between her thighs, Finn languidly stretched out over his wife with a far-too-smug smirk on his face. Smiling into each other's eyes, he and Jannah kissed lightly, the general caressing his wife's face.

"I love you, Jannah Calrissian."

Jannah beamed lovingly. "I love you too, Trooper," her pet name for him making Finn grin broadly.