THE AMERICANS by Wynn Wunjo
The music began softly, causing the stars in the ceiling of the great hall to flicker. It was a hum, really, a distant thunder muffled. It grew louder, and louder, until it began to vibrate the walls, twisting plates across the table, the goblets tap dancing.
Hermione felt a peculiar stirring in the back of her mind. Strange.
"What?" Harry said. "…Happening."
"It's in your head," Hermione shouted. The music didn't seem to hurt their ears, instead it pounded at the base of her skull. By the time she realized no one could think the chanting had begun.
Hermione recognized Japanese, German, and Spanish. There was an almost alarming layering of languages, so strong it made Hermione gag. She realized, to her horror, the chanting was coming from her throat, like a creature clawing its way out. She was reciting some language she had never spoken before.
"She looked at a wide-eyed Harry, his mouth moving against his will. He clutched his throat with his hands, but the words still came. Even Ron, usually joyous at the thought of yelling in the Great Hall, was turning red with panic.
"Suddenly, Hermione couldn't control her hands. They began slapping at the table. Her feet pounded the ground. The whole Great Hall moved in unison.
"Then, just when her hands began to grow numb and her throat tight, it stopped. The tension left her body.
She tipped forward, unable to support her weight anymore. She rested her head on the table, hair clouded around her eyes.
Silence.
Then the doors flew open and the pounding began again.
This time, Hermione wasn't forced to move. She took a deep breath and sat back up.
A group of students entered. They were dressed in back jeans, brown boots, and plaid shirts missing the sleeves. They had long bears made of twisting light. They carried staffs in their gloved hands, thick arms roped with muscle. Their staffs were topped with axe heads, made from pure flame.
"The room began to shake. A voice Hermione swore she heard on the telly, once, when watching some stupid game show, gave a cheerful announcement.
From the flame state, California!
"They pounded the staffs on the ground shouting the words. The languages had mixed into a sort of garbled nonsense again. But this time the words were human not other worldly.
The light at the top of the giant axes exploded; Suddenly the room was filled with students of all walks of life. Girls in traditional sailor style uniforms. Boys in black leather jackets. There was grunge and poodle skirts and a mix of strange beaded masks.
People with every coloured hair—green, red, black, blonde—-and skin that mimicked a mountain range from white snow to deep navy shadows.
But all of them looked out at the world through completely white eyes. No pupils, no iris. They looked blind but seemed completely able to move without trouble.
After the procession finished dancing down the row of Hogwarts students, throwing beads and singing their song, they were followed by a group of cowboys and what Harry assumed was traditionally dressed Native Americans.
The cowboys lifted their guns towards the ceiling and bellowed. There was a new sort of tension.
"Is that a gun?" Hermione shouted to Harry.
"Bloody hell," Ron said.
The cowboy wizards lifted their guns towards the ceiling and shot out enchanted bullets. They formed fireworks.
The fireworks formed an American flag and then exploded into a million other smaller stars.
The words finally began to make sense. They all began pounding their feet. All the strange white eyed children began to sing in unison, their accents completely gone. They sounded like one beautiful voice overplayed a thousand times.
Limbs of all colors and sizes stomped the ground and clapped.
"We will, we will rock you! We will, we will rock you! Buddy, you're a young man, hard man... Hexing in the street, going to take on the world someday. You got unicorn blood on your face, your big disgrace, waving your wand all over the place. We will, we will rock you, sing it! We will, we will rock you, yeah!"
Then there was a sound like cannons going off. The room dropped into darkness. When everyone could finally see all the house flags had been replaced with American flags.
The students had taken their seats, still looking out at the world with white eyes. Their table was close to the front of the room near the teachers table.
"This is the best part," someone from Hufflepuff yelled. "The running of the familiars."
The room grew silent and there was another sort of bearing on the ground. The doors flew open for the second time and suddenly a hundred dogs came barreling through the room, a scramble of limbs.
They howled and barked and rushed towards their owners. And then right as they leapt towards their students they disappeared in a flash of light.
Hermione watched in awe as one American student held up a glowing red and black crystal.
"Mr. Miyagi return!" She shouted. The Dalmatian flickered out.
Other students did the same.
"Are those poke balls?!" Hermione asked.
"They have magic poke balls?" Someone else said.
And then finally it was time to eat.
When the food appeared, it wasn't the normal bland wizard food. There were burgers and vegan patties and curry in all types of hot. There were French fries that made you grow fat for just a second and broccoli wrapped in bacon that made you squeal like a pig.
"What the fuck?" Hermione said.
"And everyone agreed. What the fuck indeed.