All Roads Lead to Remnant

by Lavernius Tucker The Aqua Man

Crossed pathways can lead to many different outlooks. For Team RWBY and other inhabitants of Remnant, it means movie-making birds and sarcastic soul stealing ghouls. For Hat Kid, it means becoming a cool monster-killing huntress, and meeting people with cat ears. Not that that's anything new to her.

8. The Myerrrderrr on The Owl Express!

Guest: Sorry that you feel that way about it going nowhere. Please consider that this is the beginning of the story, and so it may not seem like there's really anything happening. But know that I have the plot worked out and that it will begin to develop soon.

TvTrope: I strive to make sure that I don't cut corners when I write stories, and I thank you for your constructive criticism. I'll make sure to correct that.

Christoperprime: Thank you for the kind words. I too was wondering why nobody had done a crossover for this. It seems like a crossover that would be interesting.

KingHoborg: Oh don't you worry, we'll get real spicy with the RWBY bad guys at the finale. Just you wait and see. Things will definitely heat up as the story progresses.

I was particularly anticipating writing this chapter, as the mission in this story is one of my favorites. Please enjoy: The Myerrrderrr on the Owl Express! It's going to be an unusually long chapter, so do take this time to get some provisions if you must.

Chapter 8:

Hat Kid looked at her watch. It was about 15 minutes past Ruby's first period, and she knew the Conductor would be on his last straw. It had been a week since Ruby and Yang had started classes, and the Conductor was raving about getting Ruby and Yang to star in his new action hit.

"Hat Kid!"

She looked over to see Ruby and Yang walking over, along with Jaune.

"Hey, sorry we're late. We just had to pick up Jaune. He's been feeling a little down lately. Mind if he comes along?"

Hat Kid nodded. The Conductor wouldn't mind a third actor, even if Jaune didn't have a passport.

"Well, let's get this show on the road. Ready gang?" Yang asked.

Hat Kid held out the keychain. Everyone placed their hands on it.

With a green flash, they were back in the diary room.

"Ahh, after a day of cramming books, nothing's better than a good old fashioned adventure!" Yang exclaimed.

Ruby smiled. She then pounced into the pillow sea. "PILLOW PILE!"

"Pillow pile?" Yang repeated, jumping in after Ruby. Jaune followed.

"Ah man, this is so much better." Jaune said.

"Now are you feeling happy now that we've forced you to come along?" Ruby asked him.

"I...guess so. I mean, Cardin isn't that bad."

"Jaune, he's a bully." Ruby told him. "He wants you to think that way."

Hat Kid was about to jump off the diving board, when she realized the Conductor would be kept waiting.

She held out the keychain again, and the four friends flashed out of the ship.

"We're on a train!" Ruby said, peering at the caboose.

The caboose door opened.

"Ah! Welcome back, lassy! Yer've brought three, eh? Well, I can't say no ter more actors!" The Conductor said, stepping out. "I haven't written the script for me next movie yet, so we're not recordin'. I'll call for yer when the script is ready."

"Is that a talking owl?" Jaune asked.

"You people have no imagination." The Conductor deadpanned.

Hat Kid opened the caboose door and motioned for them to follow.

"Let's go check out this sweet ride!" Yang said, stepping inside.

Inside the caboose was a black bird in a heavy trench coat and fedora, standing next to a coal furnace. It seemed to notice the group and rushed over.

"Why, hello there, fellow owls." It said in a raspy voice. "I don't believe we've had the pleasure of meeting."

"Hey there." Ruby greeted.

"As you can tell, I am also an Express Owl. I do much hooting." It stated matter-of-factly.

"Or cawing." Yang joked.

The bird's eyes widened. "Um...no, that's what a crow would do. I am obviously an owl. No cawing happening. Only hooting."

"Alright, whatever floats your boat, I guess." Yang said.

"From one owl to another, we can share details, yes?" The cr-OWL asked.

"Uhhh…" Jaune let out.

"What is your uncle's sister's maiden name?" It continued.

"My uncle's sister's...wait, wouldn't that mean my-" Ruby mumbled, before Yang cut her off.

"Uhh, how about just uncle?" Yang said in a fake smile.

"Uhh, yeah! Just uncle would work?" Ruby added.

The owl looked at the ground. "Hmmm...let me defer to a fellow Express Owl on this matter. I will see if this is a viable option."

He ran over to a group of other "owls" and they whispered amongst themselves. He then ran back.

"After doing much hooting with my fellow owls, I have decided to instead ask for your uncle's maiden name."

"Whew. Disaster averted." Yang muttered.

"Do uncles have maiden names?" Jaune asked.

"I don't have a clue." Ruby said. "His name is Qrow."

The owl went wide eyed again and started to sweat. "Ummm...Crow, as in…?"

"It's spelled with a 'Q'." Yang told him.

"Ah, yes. Of course. Qrow. It makes much more sense now. Of course, yes. I see, I see. This is the kind of uncle's maiden name I would expect from a fellow Express Owl." The owl rambled. It then ran right out the door.

"Interesting crowd." Yang commented.

"Why did he ask you that information?" Jaune asked. "That was kind of personal to be honest."

"Well, it's not like they have a train stop at Vale Station." Ruby said.

"True, but what's he going to do with it?" Jaune replied.

They walked up to the door of the next car. Another "owl" stood in their way.

"Hello, fellow Express Owls. Did you know that having a pet helps improve self-confidence and relieves stress?" It asked.

"I wouldn't doubt it." Ruby said.

"Did you also know that pets can have pets? It is true!" The owl exclaimed. "Unfortunately, us Express Owls are not allowed to have pets. It is a sacrifice we must make in the name of hooting. But, if you had a pet, what do you think the name of your pet's childhood pet would be?"

"Oh, I have a dog named Zwei, he's the best." Ruby answered.

"And what's Zwei's pet's name?" The owl asked.

"Uhh, wait what?" She said, confused. "You mean what would my pet's pet be named? That doesn't make any sense."

"Of course it does, to fellow Express Owls." The owl replied. "Are you telling me you are not an Express Owl?"

Yang, Ruby, and Jaune's eyes turned wide as plates.

"U-u-uh, yeah! Totally! I mean, no, I'm totally not...NOT an Express Owl. I love being an Express Owl, you kidding me?" Ruby stammered.

"Hmm...So then what is your answer?" The owl asked her.

"Uhh just go with Fluffy!" Ruby exclaimed.

"Fluffy is certainly an interesting name for a pet. Even for a pet's pet." The crow replied. It then ran off.

"What is this, 20 Questions?" Jaune asked.

"Can you just answer the next one please?" Ruby sighed.

"Alright, alright." Jaune said, stepping into the next car.

Inside was a couple of bookshelves, some owls, some "owls", and a blackboard with some papers taped to it. A "owl" standing at the board saw them enter and ran over.

"Oh, here we go again." Jaune said, rolling his eyes."

"Hello, fellow Express Owls. I am stuck on an advanced mathematical and scientific issue." It began. "Do you see this advanced formula on the blackboard? I cannot decipher it."

The four walked over to the board. It just had a jumble of letters and numbers on it.

"Can you decipher the scientific formula for me? What does it say?" The owl asked.

"Uhh, it says: DCB4ILOSE." Jaune read aloud. "How is this mathematical in any way?"

"I see! The solution is DCB4ILOSE!" The owl exclaimed. "Thank you, fellow Express Owl."

"Uhh, no problem, fellow Express Owl." Jaune said.

"And thank you for agreeing to the terms and conditions on the back side of the blackboard." The owl finished.

"Wait what?!" Ruby exclaimed. "Terms and conditions? What is going on here? What am I signing up for?!"

"Oh, do not worry." The owl replied. "We're trying to create your online actor profiles, so that we may update them when needed."

"Ohhhhhhh, that makes sense." Yang said. "Well, not really, but sort of."

They entered the cafeteria. A crowd of "owls" sat on chairs, telling jokes and echoing the car with their laughter.

One "owl" ran up to them.

"I'll take this one." Yang said. "Hey, fellow Express Owl."

"Hello. Us Express Owls all have a part of our body we're ashamed of. This is why some owls choose to pluck our feathers. Which body part are you the most ashamed of, fellow Express Owl?" He asked.

"Oooh, tough one." Yang said, putting a hand on her chin. "Well, there's this one part of my face that just always becomes dry and cracks. I tried putting some cream on it, but I think it only made it worse."

"We had to call the fire department that night." Ruby whispered into Jaune and Hat Kid's ears.

"Oh, poor Express Owl. You shouldn't be ashamed of your face!" The owl replied. "But you'd better get your face checked out by a doctor. I read online it could be a sign of bird flu."

"Well, better hope I don't...eat crow!" Yang punned.

"HAHAHA-I mean, um, yes. Better hope not. As an Express Owl, I am very much disgusted by the consuming of crows." The owl said.

"Yang!" Ruby scolded.

"Oh, come on, sis! I've been holding back on my quota for an entire week now, you think this is anything?" Yang told her.

"Well, the next car's locked." Jaune said, trying the door.

"Should we head back, or look for a-Oh, you found a key." Ruby said, seeing Hat Kid climb down a ladder with said key in-hand.

Hat Kid stuck it in the door, and it opened. They were now in the engine car. There was all sorts of computers lining the end of the car. In the middle of a car was three presents.

"Ooh, one for each of us." Ruby said, walking up to one of the presents. She opened the box.

"A...Detective outfit?" Ruby asked, holding a detective hat above her head.

Jaune gasped. "Are we going to do a mystery movie? Oh, awesome! I loved playing detective when I was a kid! I am hands-down, the best interrogator in the entire world."

"Geez, Jaune. You really become a different person when you enter Hat Kid's world." Yang observed.

"Ah, what can I say? When we go on these adventures, I don't have to worry about, well, anything, really." Jaune replied.

"Same." Ruby said. "It's nice to take a break from being a huntress and do other things."

They all put on their detective's outfits. Ruby like during the Big Parade, kept squealing over how cute Hat Kid looked in hers.

Then, a phone ring rang out. They looked over to see a very old-style phone, rattling from the noise it made.

"Hmm. Hopefully it's not a collect call." Yang quipped, walking over and picking up the phone.

"IS THIS THE KID WITH THE HAT AND HIS FRIENDS?"

Everyone jumped back at the creepy, loud voice coming from the phone.

"I HOPE YOU LIKED MY PRESENTS...HEHEHEHE!"

"Uhhh...uhh...Hello?!" Ruby said, her teeth chattering.

"GO TO THE BACK OF THE TRAIN. YOUR UNCLE QROW HAS COME TO VISIT YOU."

"Wait, really?" Yang asked. "How'd Qrow get on the train?"

"YOU BETTER SHOW YOUR FAM' SOME LOVE, OR I'LL BE TALKING TO A CORPSE NEXT TIME."

"Eep!" Jaune squealed.

The phone hung up.

"Uh, so...back of the train?" Ruby asked, shaking a little.

"I guess so." Yang said.

They went back into the cafeteria, past the laughing "owls", past the blackboard room, and to the last car before the caboose.

There, on the floor, was one of the owls, a knife stuck in him, red goo on the floor. Behind him was a wooden cutout of what appeared to be an old woman, except it had been scribbled on to make it look like an old man instead.

The four kids froze.

"Uh, I hope this is part of the movie." Ruby said worriedly.

"A-a MYERDER?! ON MY OWL EXPRESS?!" The Conductor shouted, rushing in.

A crowd of owls gathered.

"I can't believe someone would myerder one of the Express Owls!" He said in disbelief. "And I can't believe it's yer Uncle Qrow!"

He pointed to the wooden cutout.

"It's definitely part of the movie." Jaune said.

"What do yer have to say for yerself, Qrow?" The Conductor asked.

There was a pause. -

"Oooh, yer givin' me the quiet treatment eh? That's what a merrrderrrerrr would do!"

"Leave this case to us." Said a familiar voice.

The group turned around. A bunch of "owls" Stood at the entrance to the next car.

"We're C.A.W, the Crow Agent Watch." One of them said. "We've been monitoring everyone on this train since the last station. We'll be searching the entire train for evidence. No one is allowed to go outside of this wagon."

"WHAT?!" The Conductor shouted. "I can't even walk around in me own train? How darrre yerrr!"

"Once the clock hits midnight, we'll get off the train with the murderer in cuffs. Stay here, while we investigate further."

"Wait what?" Ruby asked. "But we're supposed to be the detectives!"

"This case is for crow hands only. And last we checked, you are all Express Owls." The crow replied.

"Crows don't even have hands." Ruby muttered under her breath.

The crows left the room, leaving the group behind.

"Those C.A.W peck necks can't tell me what to do! I bet they committed the myerder, and are destroyin' all the evidence!" The Conductor huffed.

"Let's not jump to conclusions too quickly, Conductor." Jaune said. "We'll conduct our own independent investigation, starting with you."

"Wha-ME?!" The Conductor asked. "What about me?"

"Oh, nothing. Just that you seem a little...quick to point your finger at the murderer." He replied, blowing from a bubble pipe.

"We'll go sneak around outside and look for clues." Ruby said, gesturing to her and Hat Kid.

"I think I could help with some interrogation." Yang remarked, grabbing a table and some chairs.

"Why don't you have a seat, Conductor?" Jaune said, sitting down on one of them.

"This is blasphemy! I'm an innocent owl!" The owl pouted, taking a seat.

"Keep talking, Jeeves." Jaune said, circling around the table. "We'll get the full story out of you soon."

Outside the caboose, Ruby and Hat Kid snuck past crows, ducked under seats, and looked around for any clues.

They peeked in the rec room. Ruby looked at one of the card tables.

"Hmmm...Looks like someone didn't finish their game." She said, noticing a stack of cards. "Coincidence, or evidence?" She put one in her pockets. She then looked at a book right next to it.

She opened a page.

"Day 43. Carl is chewing gum with his mouth open AGAIN!" Ruby read aloud. "Us owls would KILL for some peace and quiet away from that loudmouth!"

She grabbed the book. "Looks like we have a potential suspect. Let's give Jaune a call."

She pulled out her scroll. "Calling Jaune…" She said, pressing some buttons.

"So, tell me, Conductor. What made you point your finger at Uncle Qrow?" Jaune asked.

"W-w-well, he was right there in front of him! You saw it yerselves, don't tell me yer didn't!" The Conductor stammered. "It was obvious!"

"Hmm...or is that what you want us to think?" Jaune said, sliding up next to him. "What made you change your accusation to the crows, then?"

"Oooh, so that's how it's gonna be eh?" The owl shot back, getting face-to-face with him. "Well ask yourself this: Why would the crows get on right before the myerder happened? Unless they knew the myerder was going to happen?"

"Leave interrogating the crows to us, Jeeves." Jaune replied, before pulling out his buzzing scroll. "Arc. I-I mean, hey, it's me, Jaune Arc. What's going on?"

"Jaune, we found some leftover cards and a diary. Name's Hooter." Ruby reported.

"Understood. Get them to me so we can continue our investigation." Jaune said. "Over and-I mean, uh, see ya."

"Jaune, you've turned from a dorky schoolboy into a bad-cop crime fighter." Yang stated.

"Shsh! You're ruining my immersion." Jaune shushed her. "Now, you! What's your name?"

One of the owls stepped forward. "U-Uh, it's Frank, sir."

"Conductor, you're free to leave...for now." Jaune said. "Frank, take a seat."

The owl did as he was told.

"Yang, take this over. I'll go examine the evidence." Jaune said. Yang did a two-fingered salute.

"So...Frank. Do you come to this train often?" Yang asked the bird, smiling.

"U-um, yeah, I mean, it's sort of my job to be on here. Am I in trouble or something?"

"Oh, of course not, honey!" Yang said, looking deep into his eyes. "We just need some information. You know, boring stuff. You have a lovely beak by the way."

The owl blushed. "R-really? Gee, thanks. I don't get many compliments. I think it's because I'm not socially active enough."

"Mmhmm." Yang hummed. "So, what were you doing at the time of the murder?"

"Oh, just unloading some luggage. Carl, the owl on the floor, he uh, he walked past me on the way to the back car."

"Did he say anything?" Yang asked.

"Uhh, I don't really remember…" Franklin said.

"Oh, you don't? That's too bad." Yang replied, tussling her hair.

The owl gulped. "Uhh, well, he did say something about a package delivery, and how he was so tired of cleaning the Owl Express."

"I see. Go on." Yang said.

"Err, that's all I heard." Frank replied.

"Really? Surely you must've heard some other details." Yang purred, pursing her lips.

"N-no, that's all I heard!" The owl exclaimed.

Yang gave him a hurt look. "Honey, are you trying to keep information from me?"

"U-uh…"

She leaned in close, and whispered. "You seem tense. Let me fix that for you"

Yang took a hand and started massaging the owl's back.

"HOOT!" The owl screeched. "O-okay, look, I heard him saying that he was sick and tired of cleaning the Express. He was really mad about it, too! Like, more mad than I ever saw. He said that he would show them who's boss and that there would be some serious peck neck to pay before the night was over! That's all I know, I swear!"

Yang leaned back. "Thank you, honey. That was very nice of you. Hopefully we might see each other at a coffee shop someday."

The owl got out of his chair, shaking and blushing, running back into the crowd.

Jaune walked over.

"Oookay, next is Hooter." He said. "Hooter. Hooooter. Hootero. Hooty. Hooter. Who in here is Hooter?"

Another owl raised its hand. "U-uh, me sir." He replied weakly.

"Take a seat, Mister Hooter." Jaune told him.

"Y-yes sir." Hooter obeyed, sitting on the chair.

"Would you like something to drink, Mister Hooter?" Jaune asked.

"Uh, maybe some ice water?" Hooter replied.

Back on the train, Ruby and Hat Kid had snuck up behind a table of laughing crows. The crows then started to talk about other things.

"Anyway, back to work." One of the crows said.

"You didn't tell anyone about the-"

"No! Of course not!"

"Finally, we'll get a paycheck. Staying in an apartment with all of us inside is getting very hard."

"Agreed, brother crow. Soon we'll be living like kings. And no one is going to stop us!"

The crows all cackled to each other again.

Ruby smirked. "Glad I recorded that." She said, showing Hat Kid her scroll. Hat Kid gave her a thumbs-up.

"Sending to Jaune…" She said, pressing more buttons.

"L-look, the guy was annoying, but we didn't want to KILL the guy!" Hooter exclaimed.

Jaune smashed his fist on the table. "You wrote that you would KILL to get some peace and quiet. What do you think about getting caught with your own words, Hooter?" Jaune said, staring him down. "That actually kinda hurt."

"It's an expression!" The owl shouted back. "And you peck necks well know that!"

"Please, there's no need to use that language." Jaune said, sipping a mug of coffee. "You're clean for now, but I've got my eyes on you."

His scroll beeped. Something sent by Ruby. It was a voice recording, with the title: "Crows = Potential suspects."

"Yang, we need to talk crow." Jaune said.

"I gotcha covered." Yang replied, winking. She walked over to the door of the car. She opened it.

"Hey! We found the murderer!" She yelled to a crow.

"Really? Let me see!" The crow said, coming over. He stepped inside.

"Hmm...This owl here is the murderer?" The crow asked.

"No, you are!" Yang said, pulling a bag over his head.

The crow made some muffled struggling sounds before lying still.

"We'll wake him up when the time's needed. For now, let's go back to searching the owls.." Jaune told her.

"What about Qrow? Yer haven't interviewed him yet, and he's the one who was closest to the victim at the time of the myerder!" The Conductor said.

"We'll interview at our own pace, Jeeves." Jaune shot back. "Unless you'd like to come back to the chair?"

The Conductor gulped. "Ehh, fine. But hurry up."

Back in the train, Ruby and Hat Kid had snuck into the train's main luggage compartment. They noticed a phone ring. Hat Kid picked it up.

"SO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST SNEAK AROUND THE TRAIN LIKE THIS?"

Ruby jumped a little, realizing it was the voice on the phone from before.

"JUST DROP THE DETECTIVE ACT! YOU'LL NEVER CATCH THE REAL MURDERER!"

The voice cackled to itself.

"We'll see about that, creepy voice!" Ruby shot back. She put a curled finger to her lips.

"Soo, Whoever was on that phone must have been the murderer, and he must have had access to a phone." She said.

Hat Kid shrugged.

"YOU CAN'T GO AROUND POINTING YOUR FINGER AT SOMEONE WITHOUT CLUES!" The voice stated. "WILL YOU BE ABLE TO FIND ENOUGH CLUES TO POINT YOUR FINGER AT THE MURDERER?"

The phone hung up.

"Hat Kid, we need to find some conclusive evidence. We have a lot of suspects, but nothing to hammer the nail. Let's find a way inside that room guarded by the crows." Ruby told the child.

Hat Kid nodded, and pulled out some keys.

Ruby walked up to the door. She tried the first one. "Hmm. Loose fit."

She pulled out the second one. "Nope. Maybe third time's the-Oh wait, it worked! Looks like I didn't turn it hard enough."

They stepped into the room. A large crowd of C.A.W agents stood in front of a wall of monitors, which were static.

"What are they doing?" Ruby whispered.

Hat Kid shrugged.

"This seems pretty suspicious."

"H-huh?" The crow asked, blinking. "Where am I? Who are you? Wait, you're Express Owls. What're you doing?"

"Oh, I think you know." Jaune said, sliding out of the darkness towards him.

The crow saw that he was tied to a chair. "H-Huh? What's the meaning of this? You...you're the murderer, aren't you?"

"No, friend. Far from it. That's what I'm trying to figure out." Jaune replied.

"So if we're on the same page, why tie me up?"

"Because how do we know your boys committed the murder? Especially with this?" Jaune asked, playing the recording.

The crow started to sweat as it heard the conversation. "T-This has nothing to do with it! We're C.A.W! We don't commit murders!"

"Then explain why you got on before the murder." Jaune demanded.

"L-look, we were going to find us a new job. This old gig wasn't getting us a lot of money, and we had run out of options." The crow replied.

"Go on." Jaune said. Yang noticed his eyes droop down. She raised an eyebrow.

"When we boarded the train and saw the murder happen, we got real excited. It would be our first case in months. So we started to investigate." The crow finished.

"Uh huh…" Jaune said. "U-um, I guess that's believable."

"Jaune, is something wrong?" Yang asked.

"Yeah, peck neck. What's happened to Detective Bad-Cop?" The Conductor added.

"Hey, shush, peck neck." Yang scolded him. "I'm trying to help him."

Jaune heaved a sigh. "Yang, I can't just run from my problems by flashing off to another planet."

Yang gave him a sincere look. "Jaune, you're not running. You're taking a break."

"Like that's any better." Jaune said. "Pyrrha, Ren, Nora, they're depending on me as team leader to pull through this and help them. I can't do that from here."

"Jaune." Yang said, walking up to him. "Listen. It's been a rough couple of days. You and Pyrrha had an exchange that didn't go so well. You need to sit down and try things that will boost your confidence. And this is one of them. I've never seen a better actor for a detective then you."

Jaune blinked. "Really? I thought I was just being a dork."

"She's right, lad. You had me really stuttering for a moment there." The Conductor said. "N-not that I did anything. I'm innocent, peck neck!"

"I feel the same way." The crow spoke up. "You are a very good interrogator. I would hire you if you were a fellow crow."

"You'll talk to her when the time is right." Yang told him. "For now, just relax. We took you on a little adventure so you would feel better about it, and that's what you're doing."

Jaune sighed and smiled. "Thanks, guys."

Yang smiled back.

He then got on a more serious face.

"Now then," Jaune said, coming around to the crow. "When I said 'believable', I would have been more accurate to say believably stupid!"

"We're innocent, we swear!" The crow exclaimed.

"Yang, get me a pair of tweezers." Jaune said. "If we can't get the truth from him, we'll pluck it right out."

"Wait, what?" The crow asked. "N-no! Stay back! AHHH!"

Back in the secret room, Ruby and Hat Kid were still looking for clues.

"Hmm...This is a knife sheath with Uncle Qrow's name on it." She said, picking up the small knife holder.

"Let's look in the Engine Room." Ruby suggested.

They walked in. Another phone rang.

Ruby narrowed her eyes. "Alright, this time, I'm ready for spooky voice."

She picked up the phone.

"Hello, spooky voice." She said, smirking.

"YOU DON'T GIVE UP, DO YOU?"

"Nope." Ruby replied, crossing her arms.

"IT SEEMS THE ONLY WAY I CAN GET RID OF YOU...IS TO MAKE YOU RUN OUT OF TIME."

Ruby looked to both sides. "...And how will you do that?"

"HERE'S A FUN TIME EATER: FLUFFY HAS GOTTEN ITSELF STUCK IN AN UNUSUAL SITUATION. ITS HANGING ONTO A THIN ROPE FOR DEAR LIFE, JUST ABOVE A WOODEN CUTTING MACHINE. WHAT AN ODD COINCIDENCE!"

Hat Kid tugged Ruby's skirt. She looked over at Hat Kid, who pointed upwards. On top of some ventilation shafts, hung a wooden cutout with a picture of a dog taped to it. Under where it hung, there were three rows of gears turning.

"Fluffy? You mean Zwei's pet?" She asked.

"WHAT'RE YOU GONNA DO, SAVE FLUFFY FROM BECOMING SAWDUST, OR FIGURE OUT WHO THE MURDERER IS?"

"Who says we can't do both?" Ruby said, smirking. "We'll catch you, Mister Spooky Phone Voice, and then you'll be eating sawdust!"

"HAHAHA, YOU CAN CERTAINLY TRY."

The phone hung up.

"Alright, let's save Fluffy then. We might find a clue in the process." She told Hat Kid. Hat Kid nodded, then jumped up on a box of wood, climbing up to the top. Ruby stayed behind, ready to catch the cutout in case they were too late.

Hat Kid made her way over gears, sliding past crows, and ducking under vents. She got to the top, and pulled a lever. The crane holding the dog cutout lowered it to the side, away from the gears.

"Nice job, Hat Kid." Ruby said, waving to her.

Hat Kid waved back. She then noticed a crow walking up. He seemed to notice her.

"Hmm? Who's there?" He asked.

Hat Kid jumped back, on the edge of the top.

"Hat Kid, watch out!" Ruby shouted.

Hat Kid looked behind her, stepping forward.

"YOU! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" The crow yelled at her, coming closer.

Hat Kid panicked, tripping, then finding herself holding onto the edge.

"HAT KID!" Ruby shouted.

She started to fall.

Ruby reacted in a split second. She pulled out Crescent Rose, propelling herself forward with a gunshot toward the wall facing the gears. She then leapt off from the wall, catching the child, landing on the ground in front of the dog.

She took a couple deep breaths. "You alright?"

Hat Kid nodded.

"Good. Can't have you getting turned into sawdust, sidekick." Ruby said, patting her head and putting her down.

"THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME, HUMAN! WOOF WOOF!" Came a voice from the dog cutout. "I FOUND THIS CLUE ON THE MURDERER. HOPE IT HELPS YOU. WOOF WOOF."

Ruby looked at the piece of paper attached to the dog. She smiled.

"Hat Kid, I think we have our murderer."

…

The clock dinged the final hour, and everyone had gathered around.

"So… uh, whodunit?" The Conductor asked.

The crows looked at each other. "We...don't know."

"Shocker." Yang whispered to her friends, who chuckled to themselves.

"We couldn't find any conclusive evidence. We have no idea who murdered this owl." One of the crows said.

"What?!" The Conductor shouted. "So you've done peck all to solve the case?!"

"On the other hand…" Jaune said, emerging from the group. "We know exactly who it is."

"Really?" The Conductor asked. "Then who did it? Who's the myerderer?"

"The murderer is…" Ruby began.

There was a pause.

"Uh...Yang?" Ruby asked.

"It's Qrow." Yang said.

"Qrow?" The Conductor asked.

The room fell silent, and everyone focused their attention on the wooden cutout.

"So it was you all along!" He exclaimed. "I told you, Peck Neck Detective Agency!"

"Weeell, you see, the thing is…" Jaune began.

"It's not actually my Uncle Qrow." Ruby finished. "It's actually…"

"DJ Grooves!" Yang exclaimed.

There was silence from some and a few gasps from others.

"...Alright. You got me, darling." Came a voice from the cutout.

"...But why? Why murder one of the Express Owls?" The Conductor asked.

"I know you've been having some troubles shooting a movie darling, so I made this scheme up to help you create an interesting movie plot!" DJ Grooves replied. "The Express Owl was kind enough to put on the rubber knife and play dead to help me."

"Wuzza what?!" The Conductor asked. "Rubber knife?"

"Yeah, can I go now? I'm kinda sore from playing dead for so long."

Everyone turned to the owl on the floor, who had gotten up.

"This rubber knife is also a bit uncomfortable."

"Aaaand...Cut! That's a wrap!" The Conductor exclaimed. "Well, thanks for solving the myerder, my friends."

"No problem. It was a lot of fun!" Yang said.

"Yeah. I...I enjoyed it too." Jaune said, smiling.

Yang patted him on the shoulder. "What do you think? Refreshed and ready to go back?"

"Sure. I'll talk to her after the field trip to Forever Falls." Jaune replied.

"Oh yeah, here's the movie prop thingamajigs you like so much." He said, tossing Hat Kid a Time Piece. She tipped her hat in thanks.

"Well, time to go home?" Ruby asked.

Hat Kid nodded and pulled out the keychain.

They arrived back at Beacon.

"Well, me and Yang have some important business to attend to." Ruby said.

"Yep. Nothing beats a post-adventure snack break!" Yang added. "See you around, Hat Kid!"

Hat Kid waved goodbye, leaving her and Jaune standing there.

"I should go, too." He said. "Thanks Hat Kid, for giving me this opportunity to slap some sense into myself. I know it sounds silly, but it really made me feel more confident, playing the interrogator."

Hat Kid pulled out a disc.

"Hmm? What's that?" Jaune asked.

She showed it to him.

"'Murder on the Owl Express'" He read aloud. "Oh, cool. I could probably play this on the dorm room TV. Thanks again, Hat Kid."

Jaune ran off to catch up to the two girls, leaving Hat Kid standing alone. She took out her keychain and flashed away.

In the distance, two people watched on with binoculars.

"That's her." One of them said.

"Did she just really disappear into thin air like that?" The other one asked.

"Remains to be seen." The first one replied. "Get this to Cinder. We need every bit of detail about this little miss and her very interesting hourglasses that fell from the sky."