When all you've got to keep is strong

Move along, move along like I know you do

And even when your hope is gone

Move along, move along just to keep it through

Move along

When everything is wrong, we move along

- All American Rejects

Crap.

Bella looked over at the clock. Six forty five am. Time to get ready for school.

Double crap.

She took a deep breath, and got out of bed. This would be interesting. Over the past few weeks she had been a vacant shell at school. She showed up, she sat through every class. She didn't respond, she didn't engage, she can't even remember for sure if she blinked. At lunch she would find a random empty table in the corner and just stare.

Today, however, she would be lucid. She would be completely aware of how heart breakingly different everything is now. She was not looking forward to it, as she was sure that the new awareness would also bring fresh pain.

She was right.

As soon as she pulled into the parking lot she felt a stab of pain in her chest. They weren't there. Of course they weren't. But somehow, seeing the parking spaces that were usually occupied by the beautiful red BMW and the stupid silver Volvo, left empty, hit her hard. She took a few moments in her truck to calm herself. It wouldn't do any good for her to have a breakdown in the parking lot. She steeled herself and made her way to her first period English class.

She still didn't engage, but that wasn't very out of character for her anyway. She did surprise everyone, including the teacher, when she raised her hand to give an answer about Frankenstein. She had already studied it in her tenth grade honor course in Phoenix. She'd even won an Excellence in Writing award from her school for her essay discussing the true nature of the word "monster". She almost laughed when she thought about showing that paper to her own family of monsters, but it came out as a wince. Monsters aside, everyone knew now that she was, at least, not catatonic, and she could hear the whispers spreading around her like a virus. Finally, the bell rang.

"Ms. Swan, could I see you for a moment?" Mr. Masen's voice caught her as she was trying to get out of the classroom.

Deep breath. Relax.

"Yes, Mr. Masen?"

"That was a great answer today. Wonderful analysis. Have you studied this material before?" he asked. She was surprised, and relieved, that this apparently was not a sympathy chat.

"Yeah, it was a part of the tenth grade honors program at my school in Phoenix."

"Ms. Swan, some of the other teachers and I have been watching your academic progress since you transferred here."

"You have?" she interrupted. She knew she did well, but she didn't think it was enough to gain any attention. Mr. Masen smiled at her before continuing.

"Yes. Some of us have been putting together a proposal to introduce advanced placement courses into our curriculum. We've been given the ok to proceed with a small group of students as a test run. We are picking our best students and offering them the chance to participate. It would require intense independent study, as well as frequent group study sessions." Bella blinked a few times before she answered.

"You want me to take advanced placement tests?"

"Exactly. I think it would be very beneficial to your academic career, as well as to the school".

She was about to ask another question when the warning bell rang. Mr. Masen wrote her a pass since she would definitely be late to her next class and she dashed to her next class.

Before she left, Mr. Masen quickly added "Think about it. We'll have our first informational meeting today, right after school. I meant to talk to you last week but you seemed…otherwise occupied".

The rest of the morning passed by quickly, and before she knew it, it was time for lunch. She found a table and settled in alone. She pulled out her book to read as she nibbled her sandwich. Everyone left her alone, for which she was grateful, but the news of poor Bella Swan coming out of her heartbreak induced coma had evidently spread, as everyone was stealing glances in her direction and talking. She rolled her eyes and focused on her book. It will die down, she told herself. It will die down and you can go back to being invisible again.

Unable to concentrate on her book she did a quick sweep of the cafeteria until her eyes unwillingly landed on the table she'd been avoiding since she walked into the room. It seemed cruel, and cosmically unfair that it wasn't even empty. She somehow imagined that no one would ever sit there again, like it would be a shrine to the reclusive, beautiful people who briefly graced this school. But there were people there. Nameless faceless people. Talking about their lives, boys, hobbies. She was jealous of them. As she sat there watching them, she was suddenly pulled into a memory.

FLASHBACK

"Bella!"

She heard her name float melodically down the hall. Only one person could make her name sound like a song. "Alice?" she called, as she stepped out of her room.

"Hey," Alice flashed a warm smile. "Charlie let me in on his way out. I hope that's ok?"

Bella smile and rolled her eyes. "Of course it's ok". Alice had been a life saver since the incident with James. Having a leg in a cast did not make taking care of certain needs easy, and Renee had been to hurt by her refusal to move to Florida to even consider coming to Forks to help out. Bella wasn't upset by this. Nope. Not at all. But Alice had helped her with everything she needed, and Bella was entirely grateful for that. However, other than those times, she and Alice hadn't really had much time to hang out recently. Edward had been insistent on staying by her side as much as possible. Not that she minded, but truthfully it could get a little suffocating at times. In fact, just this morning she had made Edward leave to go hunt, insisting that she would be perfectly content doing laundry and homework. He finally gave in, muttering something about never being able to refuse her, and left about ten minutes before Alice showed up. Bella suddenly felt a little paranoid.

"Alice, did Edward call you?" Bella asked, suspicion written all over her face. "Is that why you're here?"

"Yes and no…" Alice smiled a little as Bella's face scrunched up in confusion and she gestured for her to continue. "He did call me, and he asked me to keep an eye out for your future today. I told him I was not his personal "psychic friend", and that you were more than capable of spending the day alone happily. But then I realized that this was a perfect chance for you and I to have a girl's day, so I dashed over here to see if you were up for it. So what do you say? Wanna have a girl's day?"

"What is a girl's day?" In that moment, with those words, Alice realized that Bella was truly at a loss for what a girl's day was. She had never spent a day like this with her friends from school. Or her mother. Oh how she wished she could see into the past. She had so many questions, and wanted to fire them all out at once, but she stopped herself. It was time for Bella to see what having a friend truly meant.

"Well, really it's any day spent with girls, but I do have something specific in mind. I'll run down the itinerary, and you tell me what you think." Bella nodded, so Alice continued, "I was thinking we could start by driving to Seattle. There's a great mall there, with a ton of stores. We could hit a couple clothing stores, the book store, the music store, the works. Then, we'll come back here. Since Charlie will be fishing all weekend, I thought we could have a movie night and sleepover. Pizza, popcorn, and snacks, for you of course, and maybe even manicures?" Alice stared at Bella, watching as she deliberated in her head.

Bella thought for a few minutes. She had always been pretty opposed to shopping, but that had probably been because of her mother. Her mother was always dragging her around from store to store, complaining of their lack of funds and Bella's lack of interest. She had assumed shopping with Alice would be similar torture, as she would almost certainly insist on spending obscene amounts of money on her, but maybe she should try. Alice was her friend, and obviously wanted to spend time with her, so how bad could it be. Plus the idea of spending the evening in pajamas watching movies sounded divine.

"Ok, let's do it. Give me a second to get ready and grab some toast, and we'll be off."

"Yay! This will be so much fun!" Alice bounced a couple times, and threw her arms around Bella in a big, but gentle hug. When they parted, her eyes got that faraway look that indicated she was having a vision. Suddenly her face cleared and broke into a big smile. "The green one. Definitely the green one."

"What?" Bella asked.

"You'll see" Alice said. "Go change, I'll start your toast." Bella smiled and shook her head as she walked into her room to pick a shirt. She was torn between a brown short-sleeved button up and a dark green quarter sleeve blouse. She was about to ask Alice her opinion when she remembered what she'd said. She laughed and pulled on the green shirt.

After a car ride that Bella was sure did not take as long as it should have, they pulled into a huge shopping mall. Her eyes were wide as she took it in. Her mother had never dragged her around a place this beautiful. She looked at Alice who looked like she'd just arrived at the Promised Land.

"Let's start!" Alice grabbed her hand and they started. It really was a wonderful day. Both of them were pleasantly surprised at how easy it was for them to shop together, to make compromises when necessary. Alice talked Bella into allowing her to buy her a couple of new outfits, and Bella bought Alice a couple of her favorite books that she couldn't believe Alice had never read.

"You've been alive since the early nineteen hundreds! You're over a hundred years old, and you never sleep. How have you never read Jane Eyre? Or The Great Gatsby? Have you at least read To Kill a Mockingbird?" Bella spoke in a hushed voice so that only Alice could hear her. Alice sheepishly shook her head. "I was… busy?"

Bella giggled and shook her head. "Alright, consider this an exchange program. I let you buy me the clothes, now you are going to let me buy these books, and you have to at least try to read them. I'm serious. There will be a quiz Ms. Cullen." She said as she started piling books into Alice's hands.

Alice had to laugh. "Bella, I bought you three outfits, there are two dozen books in this pile right now." Bella looked at Alice carrying all those books and started laughing. "Ok, I'll just get you…four today. Books are cheaper than clothes. But at some point tonight we are making a list of books you've never read, and we'll go through them together. We'll even add some neither of us have read and we can read them together. Deal?"

"Deal." Bella bought the books for Alice, as well as some new ones for herself, and they continued browsing around. They popped into a couple more clothing stores, a music store, and some of the other fun stores they found. Just as they were about to leave, Alice pulled her into the Disney store. They looked around until their attention was brought to a small jewelry display. There were necklaces with quotes from various classic Disney movies on them. Suddenly, they both turned to each other at the same time.

"I found the perfect necklace for you!" they said in unison. They both showed the necklace in their hands, and then immediately broke out in giggles. They had each picked a necklace that was oval shaped with a white background and ornate writing on them. The necklace that Bella picked for Alice had the quote "If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense", from Alice in Wonderland. The necklace that Alice had picked for Bella had the quote "I want adventure in the great wide somewhere", from Beauty and the Beast. They decided to buy the necklace they'd picked for the other. They would be their very own friendship charms. After the last purchases, they made their way back to Bella's house. In the car, Bella turned to Alice.

"You know, I've never done that before?"

"Shopped?" Asked Alice with a smirk.

"No smart aleck. I've never had a friendship charm before."

"Me neither."

"Really? I'd have thought for sure you did."

"Oh yeah, Rosalie is really into friendship charms." Alice laughed. "I don't remember my life before my change, but I don't think I had many friends. I don't think people with lots of friends could just disappear without anyone caring. And after that it was just about finding my family."

"Didn't you make friends with any other humans throughout the years?" Bella had actually been dying to ask this question for a while. She was so curious about their pasts, but it didn't ever seem to come up organically in conversation and she didn't want to pry.

"We've met people before, sure, but we don't usually form attachments. You're special Bella. You're different."

Bella was saved from answering as they pulled into the driveway. "Alright, not let's get the rest of this part going!" Alice exclaimed.

When they were both changed into pajamas, Alice and Bella settled in to watch their movies. For the next several hours they chatted and laughed their way through three Disney movies, and two classic romantic comedies. Bella took the time to think about how happy she felt. She had never had much luck at making friends. She had a natural shyness that had become more and more predominant in her personality as she aged. She was glad she had Alice. One medium pizza, two bowls of popcorn, several sodas, two lists of books, and, one manicure later, Bella was about to fall asleep on the couch. Just as she was starting to seriously doze, Alice suddenly spoke.

"Bella, there's something I need you to remember."

"What's that" Bella asked, her voice thick with sleep.

"Whatever happens…whatever situations we find ourselves in in the future, I just want you to know that we all love you. Everyone in this family, we all care for you very much."

Bella's brow furrowed in confusion. "Did you see something Alice? Is something going on?"

"No, I can't see for sure. It's hazy… more like a feeling than an actual vision. I just have this feeling that I can't shake. Something's coming."

"Hmm…" Bella hummed as sleep took over.

Bella blinked back to reality, looking slowly around the cafeteria. She could feel the overwhelming emotions threatening to take over after thinking of Alice. She slowly rose, so as not to draw attention, and calmly walked out of the room and into the nearest stall, which was empty, luckily. She felt tears threatening, and as her hand reached for the necklace she had put on this morning without even thinking about it, she felt them spill over. She didn't even think about the fact that she was putting it on, but she had been. This whole time, even in her ridiculous stupor, she had worn it. She had been wearing it the day he had left her in the woods. It will be as if I never existed he'd said. And then he'd taken everything he could think of that was linked to him and his family. The cd, her other presents, some pictures. But he didn't know about this. She'd worn it every day since Alice had given it to her, and he never knew where it came from. Never existed. Ha! What a joke. Did he really think that removing some pictures and a cd was going to erase him from being seared onto her heart? He and his entire family had affected her in so many ways. She concentrated for a second, taking inventory in her mind. She thought of her room. There was a book on the Civil War that Jasper had loaned her sitting on her nightstand. There was a sweater that Esme had given her a week ago as an early birthday present sitting in her closet, along with several ensembles Alice had given her. On her dresser there was a stack of old Charlie Chaplin movies that Emmett swore she had to watch. In the drawer of her desk, she was sure she would find the list of books she and Alice had made. He was as naïve as he'd claimed she was if he honestly thought he could just erase them all from her life.

She was suddenly angry. How dare he! How dare they all! They didn't even bother to say good bye. She wanted to rip the chain from her neck and throw it away. She considered going home and truly collecting everything that was tied to the Cullens, and having a nice big bonfire. But she stopped as soon as she touched the small oval in her hands. Family was complicated, she knew that to be true. She couldn't truly hate any of the Cullens for following Edward's lead. Going against him would probably cause a divide in the family. And hating him wasn't even an option. She was pretty sure he would haunt her heart forever. She was lucky, she supposed. Lucky to have something tangible to cling to, or else she might really go crazy. But she wasn't going to sit still. She wasn't going to pine, and she wasn't going to stop moving forward. She got up. Splashed some water on her face, and headed to her next class.

After the final bell, Bella made her way to her English classroom. Mr. Masen smiled at her as she walked in.

"Ah, Bella! Glad you decided to come." She smiled as she grabbed an info packet, and took a seat. This was going to be her salvation.