A/N: So here's chapter four. I hope everyone is enjoying thus far. Thank you to everyone who's reviewed, followed and favorited. In this chapter Bella reconnects with an old friend... I don't own Twilight or the songs used.

Clocks still ticking, life goes on

Radio still plays a song

As I try to put my scattered thoughts in place

Last night I prayed the Lord my soul to keep

Then I cried myself to sleep

So sure life wouldn't go on without you

But oh this sun is blinding me

As it wakes me from the dark

I guess the world didn't stop

For my broken heart

-For my Broken Heart By Reba Mcentire

The rest of the week passed quietly for Bella. The informational meeting had been brief, but informative, laying out the AP program, how they would be studying for the tests, and test formats. Each student was given a folder with all of the information, the tests they were able prepare for, and a permission slip for the parents to sign and bring back to a more in depth meeting the following Monday. Bella looked around the room, realizing she didn't seem to know anyone. It was surprising how big high school was, even in the smallest towns, although, she supposed it could also be because she didn't grow up here. She did see Angela there, and that caused her to feel something between joy and ambivalence. The rest of Bella's week was spent drowning herself in her schoolwork, and ignoring whispers.

Every day at lunch, Bella sat at the same table, off to the side, and read So hereher book. She didn't dare chance another glance at the table that caused her so much pain. She ignored it, just like she ignored the gossip going around about her. She was getting better and better at losing herself in her book, so much so that she was startled on Friday when she looked up to see Angela settling down at her table. Angela offered her a warm smile before pulling out her own book to read, but she didn't say anything. And just like that, Bella wasn't alone anymore. They sat in companionable silence, reading until the bell rang. Angela smiled again, and said she'd see Bella on Monday. Bella smiled back and waved. She was interested to see what Monday would bring.

That night while she was making dinner, Jacob called.

"Hey Bella! What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Hmm…" Bella pretended to think for a moment, "Either Laundry or killing myself. I haven't decided yet".

"Suicide? Really Bella? How uninspired. I hope you at least take some people out with you."

Bella Laughed. "A murderous rampage does have possibilities. The headlines would be great: 'Lovesick teenager murders eight. Trips Twice.'" They both laughed.

Seriously though, we're having a sort of barbecue on the reservation, at Harry Clearwater's actually. Your dad's already coming, but I thought you should come too. It's been a long time since you've been over here for one of those. We could get some sun on that pale face of yours."

Bella snorted. "Yeah, because October in Washington is optimal tanning conditions."

"Will you come? It'll be fun…"

She could practically hear a puppy dog face on the other side. She thought about it. If she stayed home it would be chores, and homework, and almost definitely wallowing. As fun as that sounded…

"Sure Jake. I'll catch a ride with my dad tomorrow."

"Sweet! See you then".

Charlie was thrilled that Bella was going. As unexpressive as they could be with each other, Charlie's excitement was palpable. That night, her good mood and a sudden wave of bravery led her to put on one of the Charlie Chaplin movies that Emmett had leant her. She watched until she fell asleep, and for a while, her dreams were pleasant, as the many characters in her life paraded around her in expressive pantomime. It was silly, and funny. But nothing in Bella's dreams these days stayed silly for long, and soon the hilarious scenes turned gruesome and dark. She could still hear the pleasant background music as she watched the people she knew and loved die one by one, and the combination was making her sick. The only other color in her otherwise black and white dream was red; the red of the blood, and the red ribbon playfully floating, leaving destruction in its wake. Flashes of gore and death consumed her, and then, a perfect voice… "The red death held dominion over all"…

She jolted awake, choking back a sob. She was covered in sweat, but she was glad she wasn't screaming. She was getting better at keeping her night terrors to herself. She almost started panicking again when she could still hear the music from her dream, but sighed in relief when she realized she'd left the dvd on, and it was stuck on the title screen. She laid back down and took deep breaths. After a while, she finally fell back to sleep.

By noon the next day, she and Charlie were driving up to La Push, with a huge plate of deviled eggs she'd made to share. The barbecue was a moderate gathering, held at Harry and Sue Clearwater's house. Jacob found her as soon as she entered, and introduced her to his friends, and she also saw some of the people she'd known from when she used to visit.

"Leah!" she exclaimed, when she saw Harry Clearwater's daughter. They had been close when Bella used to visit for the summer, but they hadn't kept in touch very well. Bella had called and emailed a few times since she'd moved here, but other things tended to get in the way.

"Bella." Leah's smile was pleasant enough, but her eyes were hard. Bella recognized something in them that she couldn't quite identify. The look in her eyes may have been intended to put Bella off, but she wasn't.

"I can't believe how old Seth is. God ,the last time I saw him he was, what, eight?"

"Yeah. A lot's changed". Bella was about to try again, when Leah's eyes flew to the door, a look of tortured longing replacing the disinterested disdain on her face, and Bella followed her gaze. She saw the boy she remembered as Sam from the night he left her in the woods. Hadn't Jacob said something about Leah and Sam dating a while back? She looked back at Leah again in time to watch the expression on her face morph into complete heartbreak, and then bristling hatred as another girl stepped next to Sam and he snaked his arm around her waist. The girl had a large scar on her face, and she looked a little familiar. Then, Leah's eyes were hard again, and her face became an unreadable mask. "I have to go" She bit out, and she quickly moved toward the backdoor.

"Sam and Leah were engaged." She jumped and spun around to find Jacob standing behind her. "One day her cousin Emily came to visit. The next thing you know, Emily has a scar on her face and she and Sam are suddenly in love."

"Jesus". Bella Breathed, "that's horrible."

"Yeah." Jacob chuckled, "people say that Leah did it. That it was a cat fight of epic proportions." Jake was still laughing, but Bella's eyes remained serious.

"She didn't." Her voice was clear and certain. "She wouldn't"

"I know. It's just easier to poke fun I guess. Whatever happened she took it pretty hard. She hasn't been herself at all."

"I'm gonna go talk to her." As Bella started to walk away, Jacob tried to stop her, saying that Leah probably wanted to be alone, but Bella said she knew better. She walked out the backdoor of the Clearwater house and started down the path she remembered so well. Follow the stone path until it ends. Walk five steps toward the creek and turn right. Run through the wildflower field, head for the third tree on the left.

"Leah Clearwater's super-secret thinking spot," Bella said out loud as she spotted Leah sitting with her back against the old tree. Her knees were pulled up and she was staring at the scenery.

"What do you want?" Leah snapped.

"I came to see if you wanted to talk about it."

"Why would I want to talk to you? We're not friends".

Ouch. That one hit its mark. As kids they'd played together every summer that Bella visited. They were practically inseparable. The two of them would play or go exploring with Jacob and Seth while Charlie, Harry, and Billy went fishing. Even though they hadn't kept in touch, Bella always saw Leah as a true friend. And Bella Swan did not have very many friends.

"I just thought…" Bella started, but Leah cut her off before she could finish.

"You just thought what? That you would come out here and pity me? Save it, because I don't want it. Or maybe you came to see if I really was a homicidal maniac? Wanna ask me how I did it?"

"Of course not. I know you didn't do that."

"How? How could you possibly know that? I was scorned you know. And you know the old saying: 'Hell hath no fury…'"

"I know because I know you Leah. You may not want me as a friend anymore, but I still know you and you wouldn't hurt someone like that, especially not someone you love, over a guy. When we were kids you wouldn't even kill a bug, you remember? You would catch them and set them free outside. And how about all those wounded animals you would find in the woods and mend them to health. Queen of the wild things we called you. You talk a big game, and you certainly have a temper, but the only time I ever saw you lose it was to protect Seth. And the time you protected me. Do you remember?" The summer when they were both eleven, Leah had been dealing with some bullies. She was good about ignoring them, never letting them get the best of her, but then Bella had come to visit. Whenever Bella was around, they included her in their taunting as well. They pulled her hair, called her "ugly duckling", made fun of everything. Leah's cool steadily dropped, until one day they crossed the line and pushed Bella down scraping her up pretty good. Leah's anger finally got the best of her and she broke the boys nose. She hadn't gotten in any trouble for it, since the boys wouldn't admit that a girl had hit them that hard, and the boys left them alone after that. Later over popsicles, they laughed about it, and talked about how the ugly duckling turns into the swan at the end of the story, and thus the nickname "Duckling" was born for Bella. As soon as Bella brought it up Leah's face softened.

"Bella…"

"I came out here because I've missed you. I came out here because I wanted to see if you were alright. I came because I saw a look on your face that I recognize, because I have also recently had my heart ripped out and I know how it feels."

"Please don't." Leah was looking down at her hands. Bella took a deep breath and sat down next to her.

"I won't tell you how you feel. I'll just tell you how I feel, and we can compare notes. Stop me when it doesn't match up, okay? I feel lonely, no matter where I am, or how many people are there, I feel like I'm alone. I feel like I'm on the outside, looking in on other people living their lives. I feel pathetic, and weak. I feel like I am paralyzed by the loss of him. I feel sad because I miss him. I feel angry because I miss him. I feel stupid because I should've known better or done better. I feel…"

"I feel lost. I'm so lost Duckling." As Bella had been talking, tears had slowly started falling down both of their cheeks. They embraced each other in a tight hug. They sat and cried for a bit, both finding new solace in having someone to share this with. Leah broke the silence have a while.

"I haven't really cried since it happened. Or dealt with it at all I guess."

"I know what you mean. I think I've been afraid that if I started, I wouldn't be able to stop. But I think I'm starting to dry up again."

"We're going to be ok Isabella Swan."

"I think we will too. You know why?" Leah shook her head no. "Because you are Leah Clearwater, queen of the wild things and nothing will keep you down. Sam Uley, is not good enough for you."

"I hope you're right Duckling." Leah's face got very serious as she look Bella dead in the eyes. "And I hope you know that Edward Cullen is nowhere near good enough for you"

Bella's eyes were sad as she looked away. "Maybe you're right Leah."

"Believe me kiddo, I know."