Chapter 10

L

What she had said had taken a lot of courage; I say that because for someone as prideful as her to admit her own faults and self-loathing would be like trying to break one's own arm. I had heard others compare us, and even I saw similarities; but she seemed the most devastated by it. She was able to swallow her pride and confess her inner turmoil; I had to do something about that. She had run for the door but I grabbed her arm and turned her to face me; she looked terrified like I meant to harm her, I suppose I deserved that. I did something I never thought I would do for a human and got on my knees.

"Jetèa, I have a confession to make; I have over the course of these weeks found that you are not the horrible shrew I saw you to be but I didn't want to believe it. I was so sure that you were conspiring against me that I let the obvious signs go right by me." I took her hand in mine and her expression softened.

"I found out too late that your apology was sincere; and instead of seeking your forgiveness then I let you despise me, letting it be your problem to bear. It is not only my job to be Diavolo's right hand; but I am also to see that your stay here is comfortable and accommodating. My reckless and brazen behavior towards you has done nothing of the kind. My brothers have seen the goodness in you and shown you so much more hospitality than I have and that is absolutely shameful! Everything you have said about me is true. And what's worse you defended my family and I reward you with such aggression; you should have reported me and yet you didn't…after all I've done, you would defend me too? I do not ask your forgiveness as it isn't owed to me; but I do ask you to stay, and I will uphold my duty to making you feel welcome here. Please Jetèa reconsider." She began to tremble and at first I thought her to be laughing at me but as I looked up to her I saw that she was in fact crying. All of that anger she once held onto seemed to dissipate into sadness and grief and she bent over wracked with heavy sobs.

"Hey, don't cry…" she fell into my arms and muffled her wails into my chest. Was this all she had wanted, for me to acknowledge that I had wronged her? This pain, this anger she felt seemed so much heavier than even my infractions called for. Was this the first time anyone said these kinds of things? I put my arms around her and just held her while she cried and in mere moments she stilled.

"There now, all better? Let's put the ugliness behind us now and start over…Jetèa?" She was unconscious; I shook her gently with no response, and it was then I saw the large amount of blood running down her legs. My mind balked unsure if uncovering the cause would be the most appropriate. I lifted her skirt slowly, making sure she was still covered; to my relief the source of bleeding didn't go higher than mid-thigh level. It appeared she had been slashing at herself; some of these scars were very old and others were recent but the ones that caused this bleeding were new. I looked over to the table we were playing our game and found the bleeding had started there. She must have hit an artery, "If she feels she has to be this judgmental to everyone else; how much do you think she berates herself?" Of course Diavolo was right she is so judgmental of herself that she resorts to self-mutilation as a punishment! I removed my tie and wound it around the leg with the heaviest bleeding and applied a handkerchief to the other. I spread on of my blankets onto the couch and laid her there and prepared hot water, and medical supplies. I went into the first aid hit and pulled out the smelling salts putting it under her nose in hopes she would awaken. She jolted awake and looked at me with fresh fer in her eyes.

"I am sorry to put you in this position, but I need you to be awake when I do this. I may be a demon, but I am also a gentleman." She tried to get up but fell back, too dizzy from the blood loss. I promptly began to clean her up making sure she was covered.

"So how long have you been doing this?"

"What are you my damned shrink?!" I deserved that. She tensed as I lifted her leg and placed it into my lap and analyzed the wound before beginning to stitch her up.

"That has to be the most unladylike I have ever seen you act, little miss perfect."

"I'm nowhere near perfect….it started in middle school; I used to have trouble controlling my emotions, I would cry at the drop of a hat and others prey on weakness. So to keep myself from becoming their target I did what I had to and it was worked thus far."

"Except you could have seriously injured yourself, you got an artery right here, if you were alone when you passed out you would have bled out." She averted her eyes from me; normally she would send a snarky remark my way but upon recent events she only remained silent. I finished stitching her wound and began to wrap the bandage I held her thigh gently in my hands as I gave her aid and I noticed her reddened face and averted gaze.

"Please pardon my touch; you see why I wanted you awake for this."

"It's fine." I finished the one and began to stitch the other.

"Are you…going to tell anyone?"

"Do I have a reason to; do you plan to continue this?"

"You don't understand-"

"You would be surprised just how much I do. What you fix in punishing yourself I alleviate by simply working more and harder. I know you despise it but we are a lot alike. If I had felt the heavy truth of it things would never have gotten this far. I am truly sorry for this."

"Wow, I get two apologies from the mighty Lucifer? Am I dreaming, am I soon to death? However could I have been bestowed such an honor." She laughed but there was no sarcasm or malice she had relaxed under my touch; so this was her real laugh…

"That, right there; I mean it may be the blood loss and all but I see it in your eyes. Kindness; it looks good on you. When you aren't being such an arrogant jerk you are not bad at all."

"Likewise. There you are all done; I wouldn't try standing just yet."

"Well I can't stay here all day, I don't need any talk!"

"Talk about what?" she flushed again and looked away.

"Do you think I would try something on you?"

"No! Of course not, I was just…I don't know…"

"If you need a reason to stay you can write your statement of last night's events. I have to turn these into Diavolo by noon." I placed the sheets of paper and a pen on the coffee table and then turned to pick up the chess pieces off of the floor.

"No let me do that!" she fell to the floor and cursed; I could see the frustration in her.

"You are not invincible; there are times when you have to rest and understand your limitations…I would know." Why did I tell her that? Would it be because she would understand? She looked at me again, an expression of sadness and hid her face. I lifted her from the floor and placed her back upon the couch; kneeling before her and gently taking her chin.

"I will not divulge your secret as long as you promise to cease this behavior. If you have those moments simply call me; we can discuss it in private whatever you need to do just don't hurt yourself." She reached up and put her hand to mine her right pinky touched my wrist just under my sleeve and stroked it slightly…I do not know why that was so relevant to note.

"Why do you care?" That was a question I needed to ask myself. Was it that I saw a brotherhood so to speak in her pride? Was it that I finally saw the girl under all of the judgment and critical behavior? Was it because of the love she had for my brothers to put her life on the line for them? Was it because of my guilt in putting her into this precarious position in the first place? Could it have been the gratitude I felt in her defense? I wasn't sure if it wasn't any one of these more than all of these.

"Just get some rest and get that statement written. I will be back to check on you later today."

"I am not staying in here, it is improper!" Ah, there was the hard-headed girl I knew.

"Alright then let's go!" I lifted her in my arms and she began to squeal.

"What are you doing, put me down!"

"You simply cannot walk and you do not wish to stay in my room therefor the only option is for me to carry you back to yours." She looked at me again in anger and grumbled under her breath.

"I'm sorry what was that?"

"I said you win…."

"What? I can't hear you!"

"I said you win okay?!" she socked me and I couldn't help but laugh at her.

"Come on you weren't even trying on that one; what happened, is the hatred you have for me gone?" I put her back down.

"Wow I get two admittance of defeat from the perfectly proud Jetèa; has my judgment come? Am I found wanting? However could I have been bestowed such an honor?!"

"Stop it already!" She laughed again…why did it sound so melodious to me? No…push that away; shove it far away.

"Once I am well enough to walk I am going back to my room."

"As you wish, but do not complain if I have to scoop you out of the hallway." I left her alone then my own thoughts waging war in my head. What was this feeling, I had utter distaste for her last night. It had to be guilt, the guilt and gratitude I felt towards her that is stirring these emotions and nothing more.

J

I sat in Lucifer's room writing out the events of last night in as much detail as I could, leaving out the part where he attacked me. why did I defend him so much he had asked; because it was my fault this had happened. I couldn't let him and his brothers take such punishments on my account; I had to do right by them even if they despised me so. Mammon…how did I come to make you so angry? My heart twisted painfully as I recounted the moment; he truly seemed to hate me now, how was I to continue to shadow him when he held such malice? And yet at the same time Lucifer has been very civil, no…he has been kind to me. Was he guilty for hurting me, or was there something more to it? I had to admit that he had quite a devilish charm about him when his face wasn't in a scowl. Could our feud be over just as mine and Mammon's began? But then I never wanted to fight with Mammon at all; I wanted to apologize but he threw me away before I had the chance and I could only wonder what the others felt.

The others, what could they be thinking of her now? Are they spreading the news of my heritage? Are they going to make me pay for my secrets?! No….breathe…don't cut…just breathe and finish the statement. I finished and left it on his desk, I could stand pretty well without getting dizzy to getting back to my room wouldn't be an issue. I crept out, making sure no one saw me before hurrying back to the other side of the house and shutting my door behind me. I checked myself in the mirror at last night's injuries, they were nearly healed. Sorry Lucifer, you did a good job, but I have other plans for this. I removed the bandages and applied my salve before replacing them; I had never been this reckless with it, I know better than this. I pulled out the cellular device they called the DDD, I never used it much but I needed answers as soon as possible.

Tèa- Hey guys, how are you feeling today? I hope classes aren't too boring for you XD

I waited for a response, my nerves on end. And my phone finally dinged.

Levi-Chan- We are all fine, and actually class has been pretty exciting .LOLOLOL

Asmobaby- Yeah, all the students are talking about us, its like were celebrities and even more than usual!

Levi-Chan- The teachers aren't too happy about it though but Diavolo made this speech at The Fall that went viral and the whole school saw it! He didn't condone the behavior but the owners themselves said that the damages would hae been done if it was us or another group that got into it wth that crowd.

Asmobaby- Diavolo looked so dapper up there and that smile he gave was delish!

Levi-Chan- So for the most part everything is fine.

I held my breath and asked the real question I needed an answer to:

'Tèa- After everything that happened, are we still friends?

A couple of minutes went by and no answer and I felt my heart beat in my chest; another ding.

Levi-Chan- what are you completely dense?!

Asmobaby- How could you be so tactless?

Levi-Chan- We wouldn't fight for you if you weren't our friend!

Asmobaby- Not even if you were only an acquaintance that that! Honestly!

'Tèa- Okay sorry! It's just that…Mammon is very angry with me; I don't think we are friends anymore.

Asmobaby-…

Levi-Chan-…..

Belhpie- He can be a baby at times, but he'll get over it. I think Lucifer really got to him.

'Tèa-I never meant for anyone to get hurt, I had no idea Lucifer would do that to him!

Belphie- That? Please, Mammon gets his ass kicked by Lucifer so much we swear he's a masochist. That wasn't even the worst he's gotten. No it was what he said about putting you in danger for money; he can deny it all he wants but he was right. It was Mammon's job to keep you safe and he threw that away for grimm.

Asmobaby- but we are all to blame for that, I should have talked you out of it instead of going myself. With my charms you would have listened.

Levi-Chan- Yeah we totally dropped the ball; it wasn't only Mammon's fault.

Belphie- But Mammon is the second oldest and therefore should've known better. I am not excusing myself at all; it was my idea in the first place. Had I thought even once about the dangers you could've faced Jetèa I would never have asked.

'Tèa- Guys we have to do something for him; I think he's depressed. He wouldn't let me change his bandages and he yelled at me to stay away and this time I think he meant it.

Asmobaby- We will think of something!

Levi-Chan- Of course we will!

Belphie- Also we started the third chapter in our books today so you guys will need to catch up

'Tèa-I've already done notes for it, but hopefully I can get Mammon to look them over.

Asmobaby- I swear you are much to pretty to be a nerd!

Levi-Chan- Ditto

'Tèa- I get that a lot XD

Levi-Chan- that's the bell gotta go! L8tr

Asmobaby- Caio!

Belphie- Talk later

'Tèa- bye guys! OOO

Good to know that they were on my side still; and my secret hasn't come up so I'm guessing they meant to keep it. that only left Mammon to hopefully patch things up with, but then after what he said I wasn't sure if he would be mean to me again. Against better judgment I crept back to Mammon's room with my notes and his favorite cup noodles in hand. I knocked and waited with no answer.

"Mammon…I know you're angry with me, but you haven't eaten; I'm not going to let you starve. So I brought you lunch, it's your favorite and something to drink and some notes from today's lesson. Um…maybe you can help me with it later? I get confused on these things at times ha!" Silence.

"Mammon…I don't want to lose you as a friend…please, I want us to talk about this." I put the food and notes on a tray, opened the door and slid it in and shut it again. I wondered if I should wait, maybe he would open up since he had a couple hours to cool down and we could finally talk. I heard a rustle as I turned to leave and the door opened. The food and drink smashed against the wall across the hall and the notebook exploded out in shreds. There was my answer.