Chapter 11

J

I ventured within a vast and acrid desert, my thirst grasping my throat like a hardened fist. My legs were weak with walking, and my eyes straining from the sun I was about to give into the heat. In the distance I spotted a large oak and clawed my way to its life giving shade. As I laid below it my fingers dipped into a cool spring and I cupped my hand to drink. The water so sweet glided down my throat, soothing the harshness of the bitter heat and sand; the shade like a calm shield against the sun that wishes me harm. From the Oak fell a fruit…it was odd to see a peach fall from an oak tree, but I bit into its sweet flesh and savored the juice.

A loud caw pulled me from my moment of ecstasy, a crow sat perched on the branch above me.

"Hello my friend, are you hiding here too?" he floated to my knee blinking as he cocked his head.

"Would you like some?" He seemed to jump for joy at the notion. I looked to the peach, there was a bit of the flesh left and the hard rough pit. Would a bird want such a hard and bitter thing? I instead tore off the flesh of the fruit and offered it to the crow that ate it happily but then looked to the pit in anticipation.

"No my friend, you do not want this." The crow in turn cawed angrily and began to peck at me; going for my eyes and tearing at my skin. I tried to wave him away but he was relentless and I didn't see where I was stepping and fell into the stream hitting my head on the rocks beneath the water.

"No! Leave me alone!"

"Jetèa please, calm down!"

"Leave me alone please!"

"You're having a nightmare!" I jolted awake in Beel's arms, Belphie stood at the doorway eyes full of worry. I panted frantically looking around for that cursed bird.

"The same one?"

"Yeah….only this time I drowned…" I trembled and he held me close…my sweet Beel, he was the only one I wasn't afraid to cry in front of; the only one I knew wouldn't judge me for my misdoings or take advantage of my weakness but loved so innocently and unbiased as he knew how. He wouldn't harm a single soul; he wouldn't cast me away in a time of sadness. He was a very true friend; and the only one I could even speak of these dreams to.

"He won't hurt you; and even in your dreams he can't hurt you."

"I know…but it always feels so real."

"I won't let him hurt you, I promise."

"Thank you Beel."

It had been three weeks since Mammon had stopped speaking to me and two since he stopped acting hostile towards me. I was afraid that at this point he was no longer his friend or he mine. I would pretend that it didn't hurt by day; imagine that his snide comments meant nothing, that him leaving me behind purposefully went unnoticed, that his bitter silence when I was in the room had nothing to do with me. This was a much different fight than what I had with Lucifer, with him the feelings were mutual, we both had a score to settle. With Mammon I felt as if a harsh and violent bird were pecking away at my softest parts and there was nothing I could do about it.

I believe the difference was…that he was my friend, someone I really cared about, and therefore hurt when they were hurting and became heartbroken at the fact that the once pleasant memories were now painful ones. What's worse is that we were still fixing The Fall together so we were forced to work together at times, leaving a very tense and hostile atmosphere. It was on a day like this we were forced to do the same task, raising the sign inside of the building. I was to pull one rope and he the other side; only with neither of us speaking to the other it proved to be much more difficult. I tried to pull at the same pace but his arms were longer than my own and it soon became lopsided, the uneven weight caused a clasp on the pulley to buckle and break the free end of the massive sign fell and jerked causing the other to break as well and it came down on my side. Do I dodge it? Would a normal human be able to? Is me getting hurt worth it yet again? Strong hands grabbed me and pulled me before I could react. A loud crash and many screams erupted, but no one was harmed, powerful arms held me close and I smelled the familiar cologne that made my heart twist.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO WORK A SIMPLE PULLEY?!" Mammon shook me violently and pointed at the mass of broken plastic and fiberglass on the stage.

"Do you realize how long that thing took to put together; how much money it took?! Are you stupid? And then you stand there like you want it to fall on you like you have a death wish; do you want to die?! It would sure beat having to deal with this every day, now we have to stay another month for the sign and the floor alone!"

"Stop it, leave me alone!" I shouted at him, it was the first time I raised my voice at him and all the pent up emotion over this past month made me lose control.

"What did I do to you?! Why do you hate me so much Mammon, why do you treat me this way when I never meant to harm you?!" I was hyperventilating; the others looked over concerned, I didn't want them to see me this way and I ran for the exit.

"If you leave before your scheduled time I will be notifying Diavolo." One of the managers in charge of our supervision watched me as I had both hands on the door, my hands slowly balled into fists, scratching the metal in a high pitch scream with my nails as I then turned and ran to the back of the club. I couldn't control my breathing, and I was getting dizzy. I wanted to cut, to make it go away but I promised….

I reached into my pocket and grabbed my DDD hoping beyond hope he would answer me.

"Hello?"

"I-I-I c-can't…..I-can't…" Dammit I couldn't get the words out!

"Is this some sort of joke? I'm not amused."

"N-n-no…Lucifer…p-please….I can't…" he was silent for a few moments and then I heard slight rustling in the background, I believed he was getting somewhere alone.

"It's alright Jetèa breathe, forget about what happened for now and focus on your breathing." How could I possibly do that?! I let out sobs between my rapid short breaths.

"Listen to me; you will faint if you do not slow your breathing, now do you want anyone to see you that way? Do you want to display such weakness for all to see?!"

"…..n-n-no…."

"Good. Now focus only on my voice and count backwards from ten with me…." His voice was calm and deep. He whisper was a smooth melody as he counted down with me so patiently until I had gotten to one.

"Very well done, now tell me what happened." I told him about the incident with the sign and how Mammon treated me; how embarrassed I felt and trapped all at once. He knew of Mammon's hateful behavior but I had kept him from acting in order to keep him out of trouble, I didn't want him to hate me more.

"I see….well then there is only one solution."

"And what is that?"

"Treat him like you have me; he continues because he knows it gets to you. Show him that he doesn't matter and he will fall away like an overripe fruit." Except…Mammon does matter to me. I laughed anyway in agreement.

"Mother always said that people can only hurt you if you let it; and to never let a man think he has control of the situation." He chuckled at that.

"She sounds wise, I can see where you got your fire." I flushed at that and there was an awkward silence.

"Thank you, I intend to do her proud."

"You do that, I will see you tonight."

"And Lucifer?"

"Yes?" I hesitated for only a moment and I let his words take hold and my mother's wisdom clear my mind.

"Thank you for your assistance." I could hear the smile in his laughter; he could plainly hear the ice that now entered my voice.

"You are welcome." We hung up and I gathered more nails and plywood and walked back with my head high and full of purpose.

"Well look who it is, is your break over princess because we have work to do here!" I ignored him and went on to start cleaning the mess.

"Oh so miss high and mighty is going to ignore me now?!" I didn't even look at him.

"Mammon's you're being so boorish!"

"Yeah man chill out on her already!" he didn't listen to them as he leaned over to me a sneer on his face.

"So, little miss perfect, what are your orders now? Are you going to criticize me again, how can I be better in your eyes?" I looked at him with the coldest stare I could, making him flinch. And in an even colder matter of fact voice I cut him deep.

"There is nothing to say to you Mammon; even if you wanted to be better, zero times anything is still zero." It hurt like hell to say that to him, but hurting him like he did me was the only way to make him back off. I never reciprocated his anger until now and in his eyes was pain but then satisfaction. He looked….almost glad. But at this point I no longer cared; I made myself clear, if him mattering to me is what has been hurting me then he simply needed to be cut like a cancerous tumor. I had to tell myself that he wasn't even worth fighting with and I prayed he would leave me alone so I wouldn't have to say it again.

L

After my talk with Jetèa several days ago I spoke with Diavolo about an important matter. We held a student council meeting per usual agenda and as it proceeded she walked in. Her head was high and her gait was full of purpose, she seemed that she feared nothing and no one.

"You wished to see me Diavolo Sir?"

"Jetèa! So glad you could come, you are just in time for us to get to the next subject!" My brothers looked bored as usual….i swear….

"We are to vote Jetèa into the counsel."

"Say WHAT?!"

"For real?"

"Oh wow!" I waited for their surprise but mostly I wanted her reaction; she blushed only slightly at such an offer I wondered if she didn't expect it herself.

"Diavolo sir, I am truly honored; but on what grounds do I qualify for such a role?"

"Are you kidding? In the first six weeks of school you have averaged a 4.25 grade point average, while in fact your avid note taking and study sessions have improved the grades of our current officers as well. Your organizational skills and your attention to detail are exactly what we need here." A small smile parted her normally creaseless face; she loved to be praised…

"Not to mention your current work at the Fall; even though it was a punishment you actually came up with and given the owners new design ideas to better reinforce their establishment and give it a more modern design as well while saving them money! You are meticulous and goal oriented and I personally think we need that in a council secretary. And besides, you already have experience." Now she flushed and averted her eyes from me and back to Diavolo, I suppose she wasn't expecting that.

"But in order for the council to have unified goals an officer must be a permanent or long-term member of the student body. Therefore as an exchange student with a temporary attendance I cannot become a member of council it is in the rules!" Diavolo rose from his seat pointing at her with a huge grin.

"And that right there is why I am so willing to override it! Your knowledge of the rules and your pure pride in our faculty affairs make this decision unanimous!"

"Don't we still have to vote first?" I felt my own anger rise as Mammon dared open his mouth while Diavolo was speaking. He slouched in his chair, head in his hands like he was bored of the subject already.

"Why yes that's right, I got a little ahead of myself ha!'

"I mean I don't see why we should bring her in at all; we can't have a student counsel officer that keeps secrets." He said it so coolly I had to look to make sure it was him. Mammon was a buffoon but I've never seen him vindictive; under normal circumstances I would be proud my little brother found his spine. But I more wondered what it was about this girl that made him act so out of character. She locked on him in a look that was far from her usual ice…no this was fire. Her eyes seemed to change and though her position didn't alter I could feel a more…threatening air about her.

"Yes you are right Mammon, I have been keeping secrets from all of you; it was tactless and very distasteful of me to do so and I am personally ashamed of myself for it." she took four long strides to the table and clunked her right foot onto it and yanked back her skirt; thankfully the table was three feet high and we were farther back or there would have been a show none of us petitioned for. She pointed to her many scars on her thigh; most small and faded and a few thicker but there was one large one that seemed like it took the longest to heal and therefore had the most scar tissue, that was the one that almost killed her. But there were no new ones, she kept her word there.

"You see gentlemen, for years I have been practicing in self-harm. You see there are times when even I cannot control my emotions and suffer from severe anxiety and that practice keeps me from losing control, you see this one was when a boy dumped a trashcan over my head, and this one was when a girl stole a kitten I was caring for."

"The fiends!" Satan exclaimed

"Exactly! And this one….Mammon, was my last encounter with you in your room; it was so bad that I went back and cut it again made it deeper…" she looked into his eyes in a way that made him shift and I could see he wanted to cower. She lowered her leg and looked to us again with remorse.

"So I am not perfect, far from it, but I work hard and I will do whatever it takes to see my objective achieved and as you see I am currently one month harm free." Her eyes changed and her face took on a more dark expression as she slammed her palms onto the table in front of my brother making him jump out of his skin. He had been attacking her for weeks with no reprimand and I sat back relishing the exchange.

"I hold regret in my life and pain in my heart like anyone else here; I know my limitations, but I strive to push them higher than ever before. And for you to come and try to pull my growth out from under me like some sniveling dog looking for scraps makes me absolutely sick! Demons like you are the type that gets a kick out of stealing power from someone else, well I am not letting you take mine, I hold no shame in this room and anything you try to dig up will only make you out to be the fool! I will never let you take my power from me, I submit to no one!" silence filled the hall.

"Well damn. Like mother like daughter, that kind of fire under our asses will be good for the council I vote to add Jetèa as secretary." Satan crossed his legs and sat back amused as he raised his hand.

"Ohh, smart, pretty and feisty! Yes Diavolo I second the notion!" Asmo waved his hand in the air.

"And the others?" Diavolo looked to us, a little unsure of what he had just gotten into. But I knew what I was doing all along; yes she is a fantastic candidate for the council of course, but I wanted to see if she would put my advice to good use. Mammon tried to take such an honor and turn it into a very embarrassing experience only for her to take her power back from him and in turn make him the fool. She was promising indeed.

"Aye" Levi raised his hand

"Aye" Beel smiled to her and her rage faltered. This girl was interesting; she held a love for my brothers like she were one of us and they treated her like she had been here forever. It was amazing the hold she had on each of them unique to each one, even Mammon…although I wondered to myself what could have happened between them to cause such animosity. This wasn't like my spat with her; then she was cold from the start but this, this was rage brought on by his bullheadedness. Could it have been that she cared for him more than she implied?

"Yes, I agree." Belphie raised his hand and they looked to Mammon who continued to stare at her but with softer eyes. I had heard from the others that he especially liked her; but that affection had turned to malice….or maybe…

"Yeah whatever she can join." Mammon raised his hand to everyone's surprise and her face softened immensely…no, do not let your guard down,…..yes good girl stand your ground and keep your power. Don't let yourself be weak; not here of all places.

"Lucifer, what is your decision?" I saw this girl as a wild stallion; strong, fast and free thinking but she needed to be tamed…and maybe i…NO, do not think those things! The fire in her eyes when she made her proclamation: "I submit to no one." Only made my mind explore the ways I could make her do so; but I knew her well enough, and that outburst told me that she was just as forceful as I was. I had just called a truce with her; I cannot indulge in another game of dominance and risk the program. Put those thoughts away; she is not a toy to tinker with.

"Yes, I agree." I raised my hand and as I did so I noticed there were small cracks in the table right where she slammed her hands. My mind went back to the day we sparred and how he caused pain in my hand. She couldn't have done that…no human could; this table was made of stone. Were they there before? She turned and smiled at me and their cheers and her many thanks blended to the back of my mind as the gears turned in my head. I had seen sides to her that helped me understand how she worked but I still felt like I didn't know her at all. The more I tried to keep this cursed girl from my mind the more she invaded my thoughts like a plague in simplest things. She was like a blood red rose during a walk in the garden. It was beautiful and yet its thorns would cut you deep, you wouldn't know whether to admire the wild flower or prune it to behave. I wasn't even sure if I disliked her or not. It was driving me insane; because I didn't know if it was curiosity, mistrust or her whole demeanor that caused my infatuation.

She smiled at me and held up a V sign for victory. She loved to win, she loved her praise; if I didn't know better I would say that she was trying to be the avatar of pride. Could she be trying to be my apprentice? I chuckled at the thought and nodded to her as a few of my brothers hugged and welcomed her. I watched Mammon sitting alone and brooding…this was much unlike his high energy spirit. No matter what i felt about this girl and why all of the roads led to the destination of me needing to know more.