Chapter Fourteen

Hunting turned into a rather messy ordeal. As she ran in the direction Leah had indicated, Bella started to really roll the idea of hunting around in her mind. It seemed completely absurd to her. How should she go about it? Where would she start? What if she did it wrong? Her musings were abruptly cut short when she picked up the scent of what would become her first meal as a vampire. She wasn't even sure what animal she was smelling until she saw it. A large grizzly bear. The smell, to her surprise, was completely tantalizing. She was aware, somewhere in the back of her mind, that the proper reaction to the sight of a full grown grizzly bear should be fear, or even panic, but she felt a jolt of excitement as she advanced on her prey. It turned out that she had been worrying for nothing. Instincts seemed to take over, and after a small amount of wrestling, she sank her teeth into her meal. She made an awful mess, but felt satisfaction and satiation run through her. She found the entire experience exhilarating, and quickly disposed of the carcass deep into the woods, where she hoped no one would find it.

She repeated the task twice more, this time with deer instead. She wanted to make sure her thirst was completely sated before she interacted with anyone again. She still felt a burning at the back of her throat, and she remembered Edward saying something once about newborn vampires being insatiable and uncontrollable in their bloodlust. She wasn't sure exactly why she seemed to be immune to this for the most part, but she was enormously grateful that she was. She needed the ability to think clearly if she was going to get through this. Satisfied that she was full enough to control her thirst, and her emotions, she headed toward the Cullen house. The pleasant, somehow familiar scent that greeted her as she approached told her that Leah wasn't there yet. She stood in the living room for a moment, at a loss for what to do. She was antsy. She looked down at herself and saw that she was completely covered in blood. She ducked into the bathroom, but before she could start to wash up, she caught her reflection in the mirror.

Her entire body was covered in dirt and blood. She felt a wave of disgust when she realized that more than a fair share of it belonged to Charlie, as she hadn't had a chance to clean up before she'd gone to hunt. Her tank top and jeans were torn from the hunting scuffle, and her hair was a rat's nest. A long, knotted rat's nest. But the thing that Bella was fixated on was not the mess of her appearance, but the color of her eyes. Instead of her familiar, warm brown eyes she'd seen in the mirror every day of her life, she was met with a bright, cold shade of red. Somewhere, deep in her mind, she remembered Edward telling her that all vampires were born with red eyes, and that the golden color she was used to came from feeding on animals over a period of time. But all Bella could see was red. All she could remember was that every vampire she'd met with red eyes had hurt her. Caused her immeasurable pain, as a matter of fact. All she could think about was the twisted look of self satisfaction on Victoria's face as she'd cut into Charlie's neck. The menacing smile on Jame's face when she'd walked into his trap. Her anger became all she could focus on, and before she could stop herself with logical thought, she punched the mirror as hard as she could, breaking it into a thousand pieces with a satisfying crunch. Momentarily caught up in the cycle of anger and release, Bella started searching out all reflective surfaces she could find. She broke every mirror she came into contact with, dealing with the pain and anger she had within her in the only way she could at the moment. There was no breaking down right now. There was no falling apart, there was too much at stake. Too much depended on her keeping herself together. But at this moment, it was just her and her newborn anger tearing through the house. She'd broken more than half the mirrors in the house when a disgusting, yet comfortingly familiar scent hit her, causing her to regain her senses. As she looked around, she felt guilt hit her hard and heavy for causing even more damage to this house that she had once considered a second home. She mentally vowed that she would find a way to make it up to Esme if she ever got the chance.

She made it back to the living room just as Leah walked in, completely ignorant to Bella's recent tantrum. Her face was stoic, and determined as she entered, but she stopped suddenly when she saw Bella, and looked her up and down, apparently putting together how Bella had come to look like that. Slowly at first, but then very quickly, a smile spread across Leah's face, until it turned into a full blown giggle fit. Her laughter only increased when Bella rolled her eyes and exclaimed exasperatedly "seriously!?"

Leah tried to control herself, but had a hard time. "I'm sorry! I know this is serious, but you look like you wrestled a bear!"

"Well... I kinda did" Bella responded, causing Leah's laughter to take over again. This time, Bella couldn't help but join in for a moment. The image of her taking on a grizzly would probably be hilarious to watch. But, as their laughter died down, the reality of the situation took over again, and she felt like she would be crushed under the weight. What was she going to do? Who was she now? Where could she go? She had to make sure she kept her emotions under control. She was lucky she had let her anger take over in a place where she didn't hurt anyone. She would have to be very careful, or next time, she might not be so lucky. She couldn't fall apart either, not yet. There was still too much at stake for her to risk losing it. Victoria was out there planning her next move. Her move to hurt the people Bella loved. She had to make sure her family, all of her family, was safe. First on her list of priorities was Charlie. She knew two things for certain. One, was that she couldn't stay in Forks. She basically had a target painted on her back. The second, was that she could not leave Forks until she knew for sure that Charlie would be safe. She looked at Leah when a flash of brilliance hit her.

She was thinking through the details when Leah's phone suddenly rang, and Bella could hear Jacob on the other line with perfect clarity. She heard him tell Leah that Charlie was in the hospital and would be fine. Relief filled her, until she heard him say that a couple of wolves were on alert, having smelled a new vampire. As they finished up their conversation, Bella finalized her plan.

"Wait, don't hang up yet. I think I know what to do."

"Here," Leah said as she switched the call to the speaker. "Go for it".

"I need you two to fill Sam in on what happened. Tell him to meet me in the woods just after dark so we can talk about what happens next."

"Bella, that may not be a great idea. Wolves are not usually too sympathetic toward vampires." Leah said worriedly.

"I know, which is why I need to ask the two of you to stand with me. Just as a witness to the fact that even when I was presented with the opportunity, I didn't hurt a human. I just need him to hear me out".

"I'll set it up" Jacob said in a clipped tone before abruptly ending the call.

"He certainly adapted to hating me quickly" said Bella, looking down.

"Nah, it's Jake. He reacts to things quickly, and emotionally, but he always comes around."

"What about you?" Bella asked, looking down.

"Bella, you've been my friend for a long time. I pushed you away, but you always stayed. Even after you found out that I was a monster. How could I ever lose faith in you after all the stuff we've seen?" Bella looked up, and was touched both by Leah's words, and the fact that she didn't flinch at her red eyes. She quickly crossed the distance between them and embraced her friend.

"Um, Bella? No offense, but you kind of stink"

Bella laughed and pulled back. "You're no spring bouquet yourself."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to offer Sam a deal." Bella said, avoiding eye contact again. Leah's eyes narrowed a little in suspicion.

"Bella... You're leaving aren't you?" Bella sighed.

"Leah, I have to do what's right. I have to make sure that Charlie stays safe, and you guys. And I have to find the Cullens. They're in danger because of me, and I have to warn them at least."

"Bella, this isn't your fault. And you don't owe them anything."

"It's not about debt. They are as much my family as you, and Jake, and Charlie are. I won't let them suffer if I can stop it. If they want me to leave once I've said my peace, I will, but I have to at least warn them."

"You don't even know where they are."

"I have a couple ideas of where to start."

"What if he's there?"

"I don't know. Leah, please. I'm terrified right now. I don't know what's going to happen to me, and this is more than just a life sentence. I need to stay focused, and right now the most important thing is making sure no one gets unnecessarily hurt. I have a deal in mind that I believe will make everyone content; but first I need to clean up. I look like the Tasmanian devil ripped through a horror movie."

"Alright. I'll meet you tonight then. Call me if you need me sooner."

"Could...could you meet me here again, and we'll head over together? Please?"

"Sure thing Duckling". Bella smiled at the nickname as she watch Leah run off into the woods.

Left alone, Bella took a deep breath, and looked around the room. She walked into the kitchen and turned on the tap. She didn't know whether or not she should be surprised that they apparently kept the water and electricity turned on in their absence. Was it incase they decided to come back suddenly? Or was it specifically for her? With that thought in her mind, she found herself heading toward Alice's room. She went to the dresser and opened the drawer that Alice had set aside for her what seemed like a lifetime ago. She felt relief, gratitude, and curiosity run through her when she found a complete outfit in her size sitting there.

She went into Alice's bathroom next, where she found a full assortment to beauty supplies. She took a long shower, rinsing all of the evidence of the last few days from her skin and hair. When she finished, she put on the outfit Alice had left for her. She was sure the jeans, shirt, undergarments, and shoes cost more than she'd make in a year working at the library, but they fit, and she could move comfortably in them. She gathered all of her old clothes into a large bag. If her plan went the way she hoped it would, she would need them, even if she would rather burn them. She put the bag behind the sofa, just as she caught Leah's scent moving closer. She was amazed at how quickly she able to start associating scents with people. She could pick out Leah, and Jake, she was sure. And she felt confident that the next time she hunted, she would be able to pick out a grizzly bear from a deer very quickly.

She made to the door just as Leah was walking up the front steps. "Hey! You ready?"

"Yeah... Look, are you sure about this?

"Yes. I know what I have to do. Let's go". Bella worked to keep her expression and emotions smooth as they headed to the meeting spot. She had to appear confident in her abilities and her plan. She couldn't let them see how unsure she was, how emotional. How scared she was.

Authors Note: I don't own Twilight, or any of it's characters. Also, I'm back! And I have a few in the chamber ready to go. And I'm writing again! Happy reading, I hope you enjoy.