A/N: This was a little something I wrote years ago while on my writing hiatus. It was before Descendants 2 came out, and with 3 makes this idea not fit with the canon as much, but hopefully it's humorous enough that it's worth sharing now that I'm posting again.

Takes place some time after the First Movie.

Mal was laying on her bed, sketching in her notepad. Despite the curtains being down, ample, dreadful sunlight filled the room. Her focus was interrupted by a scratching sound that came from the window, causing Mal's pencil to jolt. Odd. Mal sighed as she erased the unwanted line. As she resumed her drawing, the obnoxious sound occurred again; this time causing her pencil to tear through the paper.

With a huff, Mal slammed her notepad on the bed. She rolled off and gaited over to the window. She tore the pink curtain back from the offending window. Outside was a giant white bird with long, yellow legs. It wore a blue vest and red cap and carried a bundled up cloth in its long beak. Its wings flapped awkwardly trying to stay in place as its talons, flailed under the bundle in attempt to knock on the window.

Confused at the sight, Mal unlatched the window and opened it. Mostly her intention was to shoo it away while giving the bird a piece of her mind. The bird had other plans. Before she could wave it away, it grabbed the windowsill with a talon and pulled in, but its top half kept going forward until it slipped off the sill and somersaulted into the room.

"Um…excuse me?" Mal snapped, "What makes you think you can just barge in here like that?"

The bird sat up from the heap it had fallen in. It straightened its hat, used its wings to stand up, leaving the bundle on the floor, and dusted itself off. The creature then pulled a small handbook from its vest pocket and flipped to a page.

It then recited, "Straight from Heaven; Up above; Here is a baby for you to love."

"What do you mean baby?" Mal shrieked.

"Baby delivery for you," it stated, handing her a receipt, "Sign here, please, doll."

"What? I can't have a baby. I thought baby's came from…"

"Honey, this is Auradon," The stork rushed to cut her off before she could say anything un-Auradon-like. "Babies are delivered by stork. Just as my dad delivered you to your mom, and his dad delivered most of your teachers."

"Doesn't the baby need a father?"

"Did Dumbo have a father? Look sweetie, usually in Auradon babies go to 'happy-ever-after' couples and on the Isle is single parents—with a few exceptions"

Mal paused a moment to take in what he was saying. "Wait. Are you saying that I don't really have a father?"

"That would explain why your mom never talks about him. Now, sign right here, please."

"I didn't order this!"

"Maybe someone who wanted to start a show called 'Teen Mom' did, but I need you to sign for this," the stork pleaded.

"Someone sent me a baby to be on Auradon Television?" Mal raised a skeptical eyebrow to the bird.

"I don't know cupcake. But let me level with ya. I'm new. This is my first delivery. Don't make me botch it up!"

Mal braced her head and rubbed her temple. "What would everyone else think?!"

"If you don't accept it, we'll have to do terrible things to this sweet, innocent thing. Not even you're mom was that evil!"

"Are you trying to get me to say no?"

"No!"

"Because that sure sounded like a challenge to one-up the Mistress of all Evil!"

"Nonononono! Be a dear. Just look at this cute little face. How can you turn her away?"

The stork lifted the flaps, allowing Mal to peak into the open bag. Her scowl started to soften at the sight of something so clean and tiny. Purple hair feathered across her head. The little head squirmed with closed eyes and a big yawn. A tiny hand reached up and the baby's eyes blinked open, revealing their emerald hue. For a second, Mal swore she caught a mischievous glint in the little one's eye.

"Aw, melts my heart…" After realizing what she just said, she snapped out of her trance. "Why is my heart melting? I don't want my heart to melt!"

"Trust me. It's a good way to get to know true love," winked the stork.

"Didn't work so well for all the villains on the Isle of the Lost."

"Ah, but you're different, sugar! You're open to being your own person on your own path."

Mal looked back in the bundle and thought it over. "Well, maybe I'll accept her. On one condition."

"What's that, buttercup?"

"Stop sweet-talking me!"

A/N: I had a name for the stork, but it didn't seem to come up in the fic and since Mal didn't get his name, left him nameless. (Joe Stork from Dumbo, John Stork delivered Mal to Maleficent, Joseph Stork here)

Maybe could have been a good start to a series: seeing how Mal would handle a baby while at Auradon Prep...but leaving this as a one-shot. Let your imaginations unfold!