I stare down at the two tiny blue lines with absolute shock. This couldn't be true. Because I'm on the pill and I take it religiously at the same time every day. Yes, the pill is 99.9 percent effective. But there they were the 2 blue lines indicating pregnancy. I was so stunned with shock that I decided to take 3 more tests. This had to be a mistake.
But after five minutes of waiting for all the tests to finish. I looked down at them with absolute horror to see that they all confirmed that I was in fact pregnant. 'How am I going to tell Christian.' I thought. Did I want to be a mom? Yes, but now? Right when my career had finally got started.
I placed my hand on my stomach and smiled. Not planned but wanted I thought instantly. Then another thought occurred. Would Christian be happy? we'd had only been dating officially for eight months.
Eight months too soon for a kid. But unplanned pregnancy always happened that way. 'It's going to be okay. Christian loves me, he told me so.'
As I looked at myself in the mirror still holding my stomach with my right hand. 'Yeah Christian will want you, just as much I want you.' I smiled with the thought.
Breaking me from my thoughts I hear a knock on the door to the bathroom.
"Just a minute," I yell to Kate as I quickly hid all the tests, not wanting anyone to find them. Not even my roommate and best friend Kate, who happened to be engaged to Christian's brother Elliot. Yeah, I knew Kate wouldn't tell anyone. But I knew instantly that Christian was the first person who should know.
"Okay but it's Christian on the phone. I'll tell him to hold on than for you." Kate said through the door.
"Thank you, Kate. I really appreciate it."
After a minute or two and all the evidence gone. I hurried out of the bathroom to find my phone.
"Hi," I say into the phone.
"Hi, baby," Christian replied with a smile that I knew all too well. "I miss you, and I know I saw you last night and said I would be busy all day. But something came up and my noon meeting has been canceled. So, I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch with me at our favorite café?"
I smiled because truth be told. I hated being away from him. Something about him always made me feel so safe. "Yes of course, what time did you want to meet?"
"Twenty minutes from now?"
"Yes! I'll be there definitely," I said with the biggest smile on my face.
"Good! I can't wait to see you, Miss Steele," Christian says into the phone.
"Me either," I replied. "See you soon Mr. Grey."
"Laters, Baby."
I sigh as hang up the phone and walked to my room to change. 'It's gonna be okay.' I thought to myself. 'Everything will be okay; he will want you just as much as I want you.'
Twenty minutes later I'm all ready to go. I quickly tell Kate that I'm leaving to meet Christian. And I'll see her later. With a quick hug from Kate, I make my way out the door and head to my old blue Volkswagen Beatle. Wanda, that's what I named my beautiful old car. She'd been through a lot, but she still worked amazingly. Thanks to my good friend Jose, who I had bought from years back when I was in college.
Making the quick drive to the café down the road, past two lights, and with one left turn. I had arrived, I smiled because Christian had just pulled up with Taylor.
Before I could even open my door, Christian is there to help. "Always the perfect gentleman I see," I say with a smirk.
"We also aim to please Miss Steele," Christian says returning my smirk as he lends out his hand to help me out. "When are you going to get rid of this death trap?" Christian asks.
"Hey, we talked about this Christian. I love this car and I'm going to keep her until she dies on me."
"I wish you would just let me buy you a new car," Christian says with a sigh. "It really wouldn't be anything to me. Plus, I would know you're safe."
"Christian," I say with a sigh. "Can we please not have this conversion now? When she dies then maybe I'll let you buy me another. And that a huge maybe." Trying to make him just drop the subject.
"Fine, but you and I both know this conversion isn't over. Let's go eat." He says grabbing my hand leading me into the café.
I sigh with a smile because Christian was always so persistent when he wanted something. And I think back to the first time he asked me out.
"Miss Steele, I don't see why it would be a conflict of interest if I took you out to dinner."
"Because Mr. Grey, I technically work for you. And since I'm writing this biography about you. And I don't want the readers thinking I didn't tell the truth about you," I replied.
"What wouldn't be the truth though?" He says as he raised an eyebrow at me.
"Well if we become a couple; people will think I left out the fact you're a total control freak. Not to mention demanding and sometimes plain rude." I say with a knowing smirk.
"Me?" he says pretending to be shocked, "I could never." And as the words come out of his mouth, he starts laughing. "Fine, what if I fire you? Would you go out with me?"
And that's when I lose it with a fit of laughter, the kind where you must hold your sides to keep from falling over. "If that is supposed to be a romantic gesture. You failed on it." I say.
"Miss Steele you wound me." He says and I see the smile playing at the corner of his lips. "Fine, I won't fire you. But you must go to dinner with me. Please don't hurt my ego." He said in such sincerity that I can't deny him.
"Fine. I'll go but it's not a date. It's just two colleagues going to dinner after a long day of work."
"Whatever you say, but its date Miss Steele," he says as he takes my hand to lead us out of my office.
Little did I know that night became one night I would never forget. Christian suddenly filled that missing piece in life I didn't know I was missing. He became everything I ever hoped for in love and more. Now I couldn't even picture a life without him.
"What are you thinking about Ana?" Christian asks breaking me from my thoughts.
"Oh, you know. This and that." I said with a smirk.
"Do you care to enlighten me?"
"I mean, I could. But what would be the fun be in that Christian?'
"Stop playing coy women and tell me," Christian replied returning my smirk.
I fake a sigh and say. "I was just thinking of that night I finally agree to go out to dinner with you."
"Oh, that was a glorious night," Christian says and his eyes turn from grey to a molten grey color that shines with adoration. "One I'll never forget."
And I can't contain the smile playing on my lips as he leads us where the hostess is standing. And of course, the woman standing at the hostess stand is a perky blonde. She's tall, all legs, and beautiful. As we approach the table, she looks from him to I. Confused as to why he's even touching me. 'She must be new.'
"Table for two?" She says.
"Yes, can we be seated at that quiet little booth right there," Christian asks flashing his dazzling smile.
"Ummm...what?" she says, stunned.
"That booth there," I say pointing to the booth Christian and I have always sat in since we came here.
"Oh sure." She says shaking her head as she leads us to our table. And I can't help but sigh because I knew how much this man can intimidate you. I had seen even his full effect on women and men so many times.
"After you Miss Steele," Christian says as he lets go of my hand so I can slide in.
"Thank you, Mr. Grey," I say politely.
"Here you go." says the hostess as she bats her lashes at Christian and hands the menus to us and still looking directly at Christian. Trying her best to be over flirty. "Do you need anything else," She says emphasizing on the word 'you' directly at Christian.
"No that's fine," I say with annoyance as the hostess stands there ignoring my words. Still staring directly at Christian. And funny enough Christian doesn't even look up to acknowledge her.
"So, what do you want to order Ana?" Christian says looking directly in at me as the hostess walks away in an annoyed huff.
"Hmm, I'll probably get the club sandwich. And a side of bacon. What about you?"
"Well, it's a tough choice between the prime rib sandwich or the pastrami," Christian says with his left hand rubbing his chin.
"Well you haven't had the pastrami in a couple of weeks and last week the got the prime rib." I muse to him.
"That your right on Miss Steele." He says and leans over places a sweet kiss on the corner of my lips. And once his lips are on my skin. I feel that familiar current runs through us. I turn and kiss him back with full force. And I hear a groan escape his lips. And all too soon he pulls away.
"Ana, you're tempting me again and we need to eat."
I look at him with pretend shock.
"I don't have the slightest idea what you're talking about Mr. Grey." I muse as purposely bite my bottom lip to mess with him more.
"Ana, now your just being mean." He replied as his right hand comes up under my chin and grasps my bottom lip to release it from my mouth.
"There, all better." And drops his hand in time for our waiter to come to take our order.
"Hey Ana and Christian, good to see you guys." He says to us.
"Good to see you too, Howard." Christian say finally acknowledge one of the staff with a smile. Only because Howard is a 17-year-old kid still in high school and he's always been nice to us.
"Are we getting the usual drinks? Coke cola and tea with the bag on the side?"
"Yes!" I say happily because tea sounds amazing right now. Hmm, I wonder if that the cravings from the pregnancy. Probably not. I quickly shake that thought away because I feel it's probably best to tell him when he's got a full stomach.
"Perfect, are you guys ready or need a couple of minutes while I get your drinks?"
"Nah we are ready, she's gonna have the club sandwich and a side of bacon. And I'm going to have the pastrami." Christian says ordering for us like always.
"You want that on rye bread too?"
"Of course, Thank you, Howard," Christian says smiling at the young kid.
"Yes, thank you, Howard. We really appreciate it."
"No problem guys, I'll go put your order in and come back with your drinks," Howard says and turns to leave.
Once we are alone again, Christian turns back to me with a huge smile. "I swear this place has the best food in Seattle, especially since you're here with me."
"Oh Mr. Grey, you're in an especially good mood today."
"I can't help it, whenever I'm with you I feel my mood is always better."
"Now you're just trying to kiss my ass so you can get into my pants huh?" I said with a laugh.
"Is it working? Not that I ever have a problem getting into your pants." Christian replied and as he said this, I feel his right hand grab my left thigh knowing all too well how much his touch affects me. I instantly freeze feeling his very skilled fingers rubbing gentle circles in my inner thigh. Slowly moving up and as he gets closing to my needing heat. And then he purposely moving down.
I look at him and frown, he knows what he was doing.
"You're such a tease," I say as I stick my tongue out him.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Christian said giving me a wink. Just as Howard returns with our drinks.
"Here you go guys, and here are some straws," Howard says as he places our drinks on the table in front of us with the two straws. "So, your guys' food should be out in ten minutes or less as were not that busy today."
"No problem Howard," I say and he turns and leaves with his sweet smile.
"You need to stop flirting with that young kid," Christian says jokingly.
"Do I sense some jealousy in there?" I replied with a teasing smile.
"I mean yeah, you are insanely hot Ana." He states matter-of-factly. "But I know he doesn't stand a chance as your utterly smitten with me."
"That is true. I do love you and you only"
"Yes, you are mine." He states as his right hand tightens on my thigh and leans in gives me a sweet kiss. And when he pulls away, he leans his forehead against mine and says my favorite four words. "I love you, always."
I really didn't know it was possible, but each day I feel my love for this man just getting stronger and stronger. And suddenly ruining the mood my bladder screams at me.
I sigh heavily and move to get up. "bathroom calls."
"Okay baby, but hurry back cause the foods gonna be here soon."
I lean in to give him one more kiss and then head to the little girls' room. On my way there I see the perky blonde staring at me and Christian. And I couldn't help but smirk, knowing all too well that she must have been watching us the whole. 'serves her right.' My subconscious says to me with a shrug.
As I'm walking towards the restrooms. I somehow slip on my own two feet and bump into the gentleman waiting in line to use the men's rooms.
"Oh my god! I am so sorry." I say and as I say this, I noticed the guy who I bumped into.
"Ana!"
"Jose! Sorry, you know how clumsy and accident-prone I am." And I say this, he starts laughing his typical Jose laugh.
"I see nothing's changed. How have you been Ana? It feels like months since I last saw you."
"Oh, that's not true!" I say as I slap my hand on his back. "I just saw you a week in a half ago at my Ray's with Christian." And as I say this, I remember the fond memories of my dad and Christian bonding over fishing and the mariners.
"Oh yeah, that's right! My dad and I stopped in so he could give Ray his famous fish fry he had been promising him for weeks. But that wasn't us hanging out Ana. I saw you all but two seconds." He said with a sigh and another emotion I couldn't place. "Well need to hang out soon, Ana. Promise?"
I think about that, truth be told. I hadn't really spent much time with Jose since Christian and I started dating. But I think the real reason for that is cause he was jealous of Christian. "Yeah, call me this week and I'll see when I'm free. But hey, I gotta pee really bad and get back to Christian."
"You're here with him?" He says surprised.
"Yeah, of course. This is our favorite place to eat. Since it's so quiet." I say with a shrug. "Christians right over there." I point where he's seated and no doubt, he's on his blackberry. And a second later he turns and smiles at us and waves.
"Wow, I didn't know that. I eat here at least once a week." Jose says shocked.
"That's crazy we never run into each other."
"Yeah, but I won't keep you, Ana. Go pee before you wet yourself." And I start laughing as he does. After we catch our breaths. I hug Jose goodbye and head into the ladies room.
After I finish doing my business, I head back to the table to see our food has arrived. Christian really wasn't kidding when he said the food would be done quickly. As I get closer to the table I sense the mood has changed and I noticed something is wrong right away. Christian is not himself.
In fact, he seems mad.
"Christian?"
"Ana." He says with an annoyed sigh.
"What's wrong?" I asked because clearly, something happened in the last five minutes. Christian went from flirty in love, to someone cold and detached. I almost didn't even recognize him.
"What's wrong? You! You were flirting with Jose. I saw you both, all grabby."
"What are you talking about Christian? I touched him twice. When I hit him on the back and a goodbye hug. Shit, our cores didn't even touch when we hugged. That's all!" I stare at him confused.
Why all the sudden change in mood? Before I walked into the restroom, he was happy. And now this? What am I missing?
"Don't lie to me, Ana! How can you tell me you love me and be all over another man like that?"
"Christian! You know I don't feel like that about Jose. He means nothing to me compared to you! Nothing! If you want me to never talk to him again I would do it with no problem. Because you are my everything and I need you… I only love you, Christian Grey!"
"Right?" He said with a cold laugh that doesn't meet his eyes. "You don't love me. You don't even know what love is apparently. In fact, I think I was wrong about us. I don't even know why I wasted my time with you when you didn't love me the way I thought you did. You're just a naïve little girl." He says and for a second I see the emotions on face change to something of pain and then back to anger.
"Where is this all coming from?" I say as tears pool in my eyes. "Christian, please tell me. Because you know I would never do anything ever hurt you. I love you too much to lose you."
And then his laughing is back as the words leave his mouth. "Huh funny, because I don't love you. I never loved you. I was lying, just playing a game to see how far I could take this. But truth be told I could never love someone like you." And when the words come out of his mouth, I feel them. And I really feel them. Because it never made sense for him to love me. And that when the tears spill out.
"Christian please, please believe me! I do love you with all my heart and soul. I can't even picture my life without you. My whole world revolves around you. You are my past present and future. The only person I will ever want. Please, Christian." I say and I realize it's now or never. I must tell him. "Christian, I'm…..." and I try to say the words. But Christian holds his hands up, stopping me.
"Save it, Ana, I'm done. I don't want to hear your sorry excuses. Because I got what I wanted from you, sex. And now I'm bored, and I have no more use for you." He says as he pulls his wallet out and grabs a fifty-dollar bill. And It all happened in seconds and I don't realize what's happening as he quickly drops the money on the table. And before I can try and stop him and say something to get him to stay.
He's gone and not once did he look back.
Not once.
I quickly stumble to my feet not feeling like myself as I feel the pain starting.
I need to stop him.
This can't be true. No no no no! and I try my very best to catch him but it's too late.
As I make it outside to stop Christian and reason with him; he's gone.
No! This can't be real. I must be dreaming.
NO!
And before I let the darkness take me. I say what I wanted to say to Christian before this all happened.
"But I'm pregnant..." As the words leave my mouth the realization sets in and my heart breaks and I feel the pain start as my heart rips apart in my chest and taring and gnawing at everything inside. I feel my heart rip from my chest and follow Christian.
And I can't control the tears as they start pouring down my cheeks. And everything is so heavy and numb and all I see is black.