"Hey, Szayel." Nnoitra poked his face. "Szayel… Szayel!"

The Fourth Espada woke with a jolt. "Abandon ship! Abandon ship! Women and Espadas first! AHHH!"

Telsa glanced up at Nnoitra. They knew they shouldn't stayed up talking about movies late into the night.

"Um," Telsa began, leaving the attempts to wake to Nnoitra who was actually good at shaking someone away without slamming their brains into the front of their skulls. "It's time to get up, sir."

Szayel rolled over to stare up them with sleepy eyes. "What is it? It's…" He glanced over at the clock on his nightstand. "It's… four in the morning….I am supposed to be in bed."

"Well, no you aren't." Nnoitra corrected, throwing all of the blankets to the end of the bed, making the sleeping one get a nice whiff of cold, cold night air. "I was watching the interrogation tape we sent to Soul Society and I noticed that you were a little off on your round-house kick. And so, I watched the rest of it and you really need to hone your skills. So, Telsa and I have agreed that we need to train you since Tia won't let us go after the two squealers as she wants to deal with them herself. Typical Tia."

"What…?" Szayel really wasn't in the right mindset to understand what Nnoitra was talking about. "Okay…. Fine. Go ahead… I'll just sleep here…."

"Szayel! Get up!"

"AHH!" He screamed as Nnoitra pulled the sheets out from under him and he fell to the floor. "Ow! Can't you two just leave me alone?!"

"No!" Nnoitra yelled back. "I am not going to let you settle with the measly skills you have right now! A soul reaper lieutenant could kill you! And do you know how that would make me feel? Pissed off! And you know I don't like to be mad!"

"Honey…" Szayel reached a hand up, hoping to find the edge of the bed. "Then, why are you yelling?"

"Because, you won't listen to me if I don't!"

"True…. Now, let me go back to sleep… I am so-"

A hair of hands stood Szayel on his feet. "You know, Nnoitra… I really don't want to go train in my nice white pajama bottoms…but… okay… You lead the way.. You win… I'm…" He paused to yawn as he was led out into the darker hallways, each arm held in a death grip by his captors. "Sleepy…and where are you taking me, Nnoitra?"

"To the dance room."

Szayel was suddenly awake. "What? You're going to make me dance? What does that have to do wi-" He covered his eyes as he was met a flood of bright florescent lights. "OW! Turn those off!"

Telsa grinned. "I knew they would wake him up." The young Arrancar reached over and turned them off, leaving the room dark and only lit by the leg lamp in his hand. "And now, we sit you down….and tell you what we are going to torture you with for the next seven years."

"I'm listening…" Szayel yawned and lay down on the wooden floor, about ready to go back to sleep. "How are you going to torture me… Not that you really want to. I'd just laugh and laugh. 'Cause I like pain…"

"I highly doubt you'll say that once we tell you." Nnoitra held in a snicker. "Because we are going to teach you ballet."

"…What the hell? You mean, tutus, tights and… frickin' sugar-plum fairies?" Szayel was sure this was not that one holiday in the human world where angels came down from 'heaven' and sang. Aaroniero actually stayed up all night on Christmas Eve to witness the singing, but never heard anything at all.

"Yeah. Sugar Plum dances and all." Nnoitra said, adding, "You aren't going to complain. Why? Because I am going to force you to learn it if it is the last thing I do. Because it, 1, was not always tutus and tights. An old king began the dancing trend by teaching it to his armies as a training exercise. 2. Because it improves self-awareness and balance. It also works a lot of muscles in your body you never use. 3. We are going to teach you how to sword fight on pointe. Eventually. Think like… ages from now. 4. We are also going to teach you gymnastics as you may have graceful moves, but you need a whole lot of other skills an-"

Szayel raised his hand in the air. "Excuse me… Do I have to wear tights?"

"Of course."

"I quit. I'll go die. See you later…"

Telsa reached a hand out and grabbed his arm as he began to drag himself towards what he believed was the door. "No. No. No. Szayel. Stay."

"No. I am not going to wear tights and a tutu. In fact, I would pay to see both of you dress up like clowns. And Telsa, what happened to Szayel-sama?"

"I don't actually have to address you as such, I just do it out of respect for you."

"True." Nnoitra said, noticing Szayel's look of shock. "Because I rank higher than you and he's my fraccion. But anyhow, you are staying here and learning this-"

"I am not learning ballet! I draw the line at this! I already act. Isn't that enough? I mean-"

"Szayel. Calm down. What's wrong with learning this?"

"Because!" He cried, "If you haven't noticed, all guys who do ballet are gay!"

Nnoitra pointed at Telsa. "He's not."

"Yeah, Telsa's not. But you know what I mean!"

"Of course. But, Szayel. You may have given Tia a reality check, but I think you need one too."

"And what needs checking?"

"Well." Nnoitra began, scooting over a rolling chair to sit in. "To begin with. You are still living in 1911, if you haven't noticed."

"And half the human world is still living in 1911 too! Like Russia! So I am not alone here." Szayel pointed out, not really wanting to have this conversation at four in the morning. "Some of the world is still living in 2500 BCE!"

"I get your point." Nnoitra stated. "But seriously. Szayel. I don't remember what time era I am from and I am glad I don't. You know what? Liking men is just like like oranges when others like apples. It doesn't define who you are. There. That's it. And if people don't like you for liking oranges, it's their fault and maybe they don't think they can like oranges either. So, when you say you aren't going to do something because it something people who like oranges do, just makes you as bad as the rest of the people who like apples who don't like you. Get what I'm saying?"

Maybe he should talk to Nnoitra more at this hour as what he just said was rather…. "Profound… okay… I kinda see a picture here. You say, I like oranges. And that's okay. And people who like oranges shouldn't just known for liking oranges and people who like apples who don't like oranges maybe like oranges but don't want to go against social norms of liking apples. And I should do ballet because it's something people do. People shouldn't care what kind of fruit you like and just because you like something different doesn't mean you are branded for life."

"That… was the point." Nnoitra said after a long silence. "Yes. I was confused there for a moment because of all the apples and oranges. Now some people like apples and oranges and that's fine too."

"Uh… huh…but what I don't wanna eat anything right now? I'm sleepy…"

"No, no!" Nnoitra cried, "That was just another example! Now stand up!"

Szayel nodded and slowly climbed to his feet. He was right… I guess I kind of was living in 1911. Oddly enough, I actually feel better now. Anyhow, as long as I don't have to put in a recital, this should be interesting… but…oh… too tired to think…

He glanced over his shoulder at Nnoitra who grinning. Pleased he finally got his point across. "Now what, strict evil ballet teacher?"

"Telsa, give him shoes."

"Yes sir." Telsa went over to a box by the mirrored wall and pulled out several pairs of plain and soft ballet shoes. He walked back across the room and handed them to Szayel who looked confused. "What?"

"Well…" He peered down at the shoes he was being offered. "Aren't we going to learn the stuff on our toes?"

"No, no!" Telsa laughed. "That isn't until you master the dance. Then, you get to re-learn all of it on pointe! And I hope you don't like your feet."

"Uh… no?"

"Good. Because they are not going to be pretty once we get to the pointe-shoes. Now try these on and see which fit. They should be snug, but not painful."

"Wow…" Aaroniero marveled as he stared at all the water bottle cases in the parking lot of the hotel in Scotland. Tia had received a call that morning informing her the order from about a week ago, arrived. "That's a lot of water…"

"It makes me thirsty," Rubornn gasped, wishing he could drink all of it this instance.

"It makes me happy you came to pay. It will be £7164. " The Delivery woman said, holding out a form. "Little late, were we, by the way?"

"Yes." Aaroniero confessed, thankful she couldn't see Rudbornn who was actually drooling. "Sorry. Here's my magic card."

"Thank you… Ned Wellington for you business."

"You're welcome." Aaroniero gave Rudbornn a glance whom only drooled back at him. He knew that Szayel had snatched Ned's credit card back in Vegas along with his driver's license, but really? £7164 worth of water? All in sixteen ounce containers?

He and Rudbornn had their work cut out for them, then. After a complimentary bottle was drank, that was.

"One, and two an- Szayel, don't slouch!" Nnoitra screamed, pounding the walking stick on the wooden floor for the tenth time in the last five minutes. "Doing a pleat isn't hard! Telsa!"

"Yes." Telsa walked over to the slouching student and smacked him on the stomach with the long ruler he had in his grasp. "Stand up straight! Shoulders back, stomach in an-shoulders back! And legs together and-Shoulders! Shoulders!" Telsa sighed and turned to Nnoitra, annoyed as he was. "Nnoitra-sama. We need to ban Szayel from the computer for the rest of his life. Ja?"

"All right. Done. Now, shoulder back! And grace. full. Ly. Down. And. Butt in and-Telsa! Get him to straighten his form! It should be like he's a puppet on a string and…"

"Yes, sir." Telsa walked back across the room to Szayel who was looking rather miserable in his new pair of pink tights, shoes and black leotard. "Szayel. Stand. Yes. Damn it! Don't slouch!"

"I'm not slouching!" The Student yelled back, not wanting to be hit anymore by the evil teacher's assistant.

"Yes you are!" Telsa set down the ruler and reached up to put his hands on Szayel's shoulders. "See.. You stand like this. And shoulders back and-"

"Ow! That is too far!"

"No." Telsa replied. "That is where your shoulder SHOULD be if you had good posture. Now. I will stand here and you do a pleat. Okay? Easy, mai no?"

"Mai oui! But I will try it anywa-Telsa! I can't move because you have your hands on my shoulders!"

"You are supposed to be able to move!"

"Why can't I?!" Szayel cried, his knees not doing what he wanted.

"Because you are using the wrong muscles!" Nnoitra yelled, just wanting to do this simple move. It had been fifteen minutes of this so far and he did not want to make in an hour! "Now, use your thighs and up and ahaha! See. You did it! Again!"

Szayel groaned and the lesson went on.

"Hey, Rud…" Aaroniero asked as he walked into the throne room where Mel-rose was sitting on Tia's throne, three hours later. "Were is Tia and… why do I hear yelling?"

"No idea, sir." His Fraccion (the strong and brave), pulled in a large wheeling cart with all of the water bottles on it with the help of his copies of himself he created with his Tree of Skulls. "At least, we don't have to do another trip."

"Yeah…" Aaroniero was so glad Rudbornn had such wonderful powers that allowed him to grow multiples of himself off his horns. "Me too… now, what is that screaming and yelling I hear?"

"First position!" Nnoitra screamed and Szayel put his heels together and toes out. "And next! Third! Fourth! And Fifth and don't fall over! Fifth is hard, but you can't fall over!"

"But how am I supposed to-"

"You just do it!

"Bu-"

"Szayel! No buts and back to first and arms! And that. Is. Really. Sad!" Nnoitra slammed the walking stick into the ground, keeping a rhythm. "Your feet are supposed to be turned. Completely. Away from. One. Another. But we will work on that! And second and what. Do. You. Want?!"

Ulquiorra just stared in to the dance room, a shocked look on his face. "Um…"

"I. Don't. Have. All. Day. Ul. qui. orr. a! And Third! And Arms! Szayel! Don't slouch! Better!"

"I was just seeing what all the commotion was." Ulquiorra confessed, unsure if he had just walked into the funniest thing he had ever seen or the strangest. He took the second. "Um…what is going on here… and why is Granz in a leotard and tights?"

"Because!" Nnoitra yelled from the other side of the room. "I am. In the. Middle of. Training. Him! Fourth! And-Telsa. Catch. Him!"

Telsa flickered over and stood Szayel upright again as he began to teeter.

"And why don't you. Go. Away?"

"I guess I should, Nnoitra. I just want to be sure before I leave… you are not getting me in tights, right?"

"Never." Nnoitra said and Ulquiorra left with a smug smile on his face. Orhime would just feed him dish after dish, not make him do ballet in a silly outfit.

Wait until he told Grimmjow what Szayel was being forced to do…

Speaking of, where was Grimmjow?

Author's note: Yes, that first line of Szayel's came from Spaceballs. Second, he is in fact being forced to learn ballet. (It will pay off later, I promise!)Third, stand strong my Russian friends as they say over here, 'it gets better!' and never lose hope. Да? Спасибо.