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Chapter 26

Oliver pulled his green hood up and headed out to check out the city. He needed this. He needed to get out and do something he had control over. He'd spent the morning listening to Dr. Banner explain what the Mirakuru probably was. Who would have thought that the whole world would be trying to create a race of super soldiers at the same time?

Knowing that Mirakuru was the Japanese version of that idea and that they'd been trying to hide the idea from the Germans explained a lot about how the samples got on the sub and why no one came looking during the war for it, but it did little to ease the guilt Oliver felt. He'd done nothing on that island but handle Slade wrong.

Once again, Oliver thought about how torn he'd been when he didn't tell Slade how Ivo had forced him to choose between Sara and Shado. Like it had done over and over again, the scene played in slow motion in his head. Oliver tried to remember choosing Sara, but the truth was that he hadn't. Sara had just been the one that Ivo had acted against first. Oliver's instincts had kicked in, he'd jumped to prevent the shot and Ivo had turned his gun on Shado.

There had been no choosing at all as far as Oliver was concerned; there had only been a split second and he'd reacted. Slade might have understood that, but Oliver hadn't had the courage to tell him. He'd let Sara's voice feed the fear inside of him. They'd both been scared, but he should have been better than that. He'd been with Slade for long enough to believe that the older man would hear him out.

Oliver understood how Slade would feel betrayed, especially so soon after the Aussie's partner had betrayed him on the island. That had to be the worst cut of all to Slade. Picking up his bow and adjusting the quiver better across his shoulders, Oliver glanced around him. He was starting to be paranoid. Thinking of Slade was starting to make him feel like he was being watched. Oliver dismissed the feeling. His mind slipped back to his betrayal of Slade and the look on Slade's face as Oliver's arrow entered his eye.

Oliver would never forget that moment or any of the other ones that had led up to him attempting to kill the man who had kept him alive and made him the fighter he was today. He'd held the cure but chosen to kill instead. Maybe that had been the only decision he'd been capable of back then, but he should have done a hell of a lot of things differently. If he was going to be the man he'd promised Tommy's memory he'd be or the one that Steve made him want to be, he had to do better now.

Rolling his shoulders, Oliver tried to let go of some of the tension of the day and concentrate on what was around him. He was having trouble letting go of the outside world and calming himself. Usually the Arrow hood was like a shield against everything but the moment he was in or the situation he was investigating. Today that focus escaped him. Today had been a hard day and it hadn't gotten any better as it wore on.

The whole day reminded Oliver of nothing but his mistakes and how well he'd screwed things up. He'd left his mother's to meet Felicity and to catch up on company business, most all of which was bad news and reminders of how he'd failed his family's company. Next he'd met with Tony Stark to take him up on his offer with his mother's blessings. Stark had been surprisingly compassionate about the whole thing, but it didn't matter if Stark had pointed out that Oliver hadn't been trained to run the company. It didn't even help that the man had pointed out that Oliver had been dealing with more than a few distractions these days. Oliver still couldn't shake the feeling that somewhere his father was disappointed in him.

The evening hadn't been any better when he'd tracked Sara down. It had been everything he could do to talk her out of quitting the team. She was a better person than she thought she was. He had faith in her. Maybe he was scared not to. She'd been a good person before he'd talked her into getting on that boat with him. There had to be some of that girl left in her.

Swinging his leg across the sleek form of his motorcycle, Oliver reached for the mental center Shado had taught him to find and took off across the city. The first time he slammed his motorcycle around a curve between to buildings, though, he almost wiped out. The near-accident brought him back to reality like a bucket of ice water. He was too distracted to be driving. Maybe it was better to be on foot for a little while. He parked the bike out of plain sight and took off on foot. If the universe had any compassion it would give him a couple of bad guys who wanted a fight.

As he rounded the next corner, Oliver again got the feeling he was being watched. This time he didn't dismiss it. The feeling was too strong. Oliver was careful not to show any reaction as he doubled back to come up behind whoever was tailing him. He missed Felicity in his ear. She'd probably be able to pull up cameras and find out who was following him, but she was with Steve. He'd only seen her for a minute at the lair before he'd grabbed his gear and left. He'd thought he'd heard Steve telling her to let him go run some steam off, but he wasn't positive.

Dropping down behind where he thought his tail might have been, Oliver looked around. There was no sign of anyone, but if it was one thing he'd learned in his time on the island, it was to trust his instincts. He checked around the alley a bit more. He was about to climb up and see if a higher vantage point would show him anything when he heard a woman's scream somewhere to his left. He spun around and headed in that direction. His tail would have to wait.

Oliver was barely around the corner of the little alley when he saw three men assaulting a woman. She was being held by two of them as the third ripped her purse away from her and began digging through it. He couldn't make out what the man was saying but the woman screamed again as the man reached out and ripped her blouse down the middle.

"Let the woman go," Oliver shouted, having switched on the voice distorter. He let fly an arrow that pierced the arm of the man on the woman's left. With a scream of agony, the wounded man let go of his captive and clutched at his arm. As expected, the other two abandoned the woman in favor of turning on the vigilante bearing down on them. From under his hood, Oliver nodded at the woman who had turned to run. Some people froze, but he was glad to see she wasn't one of those.

Oliver could have taken out the other two with arrows as well, but as Felicity would say; where's the fun in that. Jumping in, Oliver felt the tension finally drain away as he kicked the purse guy in the stomach and swung around to backhand the partner's gun right out of his grip. Damn, Steve's tip worked. It sped him up quite a bit. Now he was enjoying himself.

The Asset slid down the brick wall and watched as three men fought a lone fighter dressed in green. Asset, no, that wasn't right, his target had called him Bucky when they battled on the bridge and later on the helicarriers. 'Bucky' didn't feel right either. Who the hell is Bucky, he remembered asking that, remembered saving the target, and then remembering had hurt.

Why had he saved the target from drowning in the Potomac? He couldn't think about that. It was too fuzzy. All he could remember was walking away from the river bank, the helicarriers burning in the background and feeling confused, but free. The pain started days later. It started in his arm and got steadily worse. He'd tried to destroy all those that caused him pain but it didn't give him any relief. The pain grew worse each day.

He remembered places where people inflicted the pain before they froze him away like a piece of meat. He destroyed those places and those people, hoping the pain would stop. It had taken time, but those places were nearly all in ruin and yet the pain grew worse. It burned up from his metal arm, into his neck and through his spine.

Nothing stopped the pain. With each day it grew until he fought to think, to move. He needed a new plan to make it stop. He wouldn't last much longer if the level kept increasing. His last chance was to destroy the ship that carried the only three chambers left that could be used to lock him away.

The Asset, Bucky had been on the ship and managed to complete his objective despite the agony racing through his body. He'd fought and killed for a year to ensure that he could never be frozen again, never be controlled again. Destroying the last device his handlers had to control him felt good. The satisfaction burned through the pain for a moment and he'd felt hope. He'd been ready to leave the ship when he'd seen another team coming down the deck toward him. He'd barely had time to hide before they rounded the corner.

As the new team passed he'd seen his target from Washington D.C. among them. His surprise at seeing his target so near almost made him careless but he'd caught himself at the last minute and stayed hidden. He'd thought about stepping out and confronting his target. No one was left to make him obey, he could choose to kill or not kill his target. Maybe his target could tell him more about the time before he was the Asset. Maybe his target could tell him more about the shadowy memories he was starting to have.

That's when the blinding pain nearly tore a scream from him. It paralyzed him and forced him to his knees. Through pain-filled eyes he watched the other team as they finished what they were doing and left. A second wave of agony actually did tear a scream out of him this time but no one heard because bombs were going off and the ship was blowing apart. He'd barely been conscious when he'd found himself climbing steps ahead of the water rushing in. He remembered little as he'd latched onto a life vest floating past him as the water climbed higher around him.

Maybe if he finished his mission, the pain would end and no one would be around to give him a new mission or new pain. Without a mission and with no more handlers around, he'd be free of the agony. His target was near, he could do this. He could finish his mission. The pain subsided slightly, giving him enough relief to let him breathe even as he choked on seawater splashing across his body.

Sheer luck got him over the side of the sinking ship. He wasn't sure how he'd managed to swim despite the pain or to make it to shore but the thought of finishing his mission seemed to keep the pain somewhat at bay. He had questions when he saw his target, he had flashes of memories, but all of those brought pain. Do this one last thing, the voice in his memories told him long ago. We need you to do this one last thing to make us free. He remembered the voice said something like that. They must have meant to make him free of pain.

The Asset watched as the man in green finished off his opponents. All he had to do was follow the man in green, the lone fighter. That man had been with the Asset's target. Follow the man in green, find and kill target and the pain would stop. That mantra was keeping him sane. When pain came , it is relieved by obedience. That was something that had become ingrained in him. Stopping the pain was instinct. Obedience had become an instinct. Instinct was the only thing that was still surviving the constant torture that being alive had become.

The Asset pulled his mind back to the present. He moved back into the shadows. The fighter in green almost saw him moments ago. The fighter was good. The fighter had backtracked, but the asset was the best HYDRA had to offer; he anticipated and changed his position. Now he would give the fighter more room and not allow himself to be detected. Pain was making him sloppy, but the pain would end as soon as he found his target and completed his mission.