AN: Knock Knock Knock…. Is anybody out there? If anybody is still reading this after so long let me know please. I'm determined to finish this. I'm a few chapters ahead and it seems to be going alright so I'm hopeful. I think I have about 6 more chapters to the end.

Thank you Gategirl7 for hanging in there with me. Thank you for the beta. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Enjoy.

Chapter 31 Darkness

Oliver opened the door to let Sara back out into the alley behind the club. Sara and Banner had a good guess as to how much venom would keep Barnes out. Things downstairs were taken care of for now and Oliver just needed to get away.

Surveying the damage outside the club made him stop and gather himself. Steve's truck had body shaped dents in it.

The one in the rear panel looked like a shoulder and side of a head were bashed into it. There were also dents in the concrete. Body shaped DENTS In the CONCRETE yet both Steve and Barnes were still alive. Steve was bruised but mobile. How was this the world he lived in? How did he compete with that?

"What are you thinking, Ollie?" Sara's voice beside him didn't surprise him. He'd left her downstairs helping keep the Winter Soldier unconscious. No one was sure exactly how long her viper venom would work so she'd have to stay nearby. They didn't want him awake and fighting that was for sure. Oliver had come out at the tail end of the fight, but he'd seen enough. It was surreal to see someone choking out Steve. To Oliver he seemed nearly invincible.

"How did we get here?" Oliver asked, voicing his thoughts. "I've heard of that man downstairs, the Winter Soldier. When I was with Waller, then with the Bratva he was the boogie man they whispered about in the dark. Rumors mostly. Deadly doesn't even cover him and he's laying downstairs with people I care about." He turned to her. They had a lot to discuss and it had nothing to do with this latest wrinkle in his life.

"How can we hope to find Slade or stop him when Steve and the team's attention is diverted by a threat that deadly? I know the venom will keep him under, but Steve's going to want him conscious at some point. What if I can't protect any of you from him or Slade?" That was selfish, but at this moment he didn't know how to stop the thoughts. They'd been making progress. Narrowing in on Slade and his plans… now this.

Sara's hand was soft on his wrist. Oliver looked down at her pale fingers against the tan of his arm. "Oliver, we have a lot to talk about and I don't have much time before I need to be downstairs and you need to be at your mother's." He nodded. How did he start the conversation? He'd promised Steve he'd figure out where Sara's head was and take care of it but now that she was here and ready to talk, he wasn't ready.

"Ollie, about the other day," she started, taking the necessity of bringing it up from him. "I need to leave." What! Oliver knew his eyes were wide.

"Sara..." he started but she stopped him by taking his hands as she stepped into his space.

"It's not why you're thinking," she continued. "You were right to bring these people in." That was a surprise coming from her. She had his attention. "You need help to stop Slade. He's had too long to plan and has too many people on his side" She paused, obviously searching for what she wanted to say.

"We're dark, Ollie," she finally said. For a moment the change in conversation through him. "You and I see death as a solution. We're damaged and neither of us want to be. The difference is that you believe there are other ways than killing. I can see you pulling in that direction." She dropped her head in a gesture he'd come to recognize as her gathering her thoughts. "You're trying to find a better way. You have been for a while now." He wasn't sure what to say. She was right.

"Then we find a better way together, Sara," he told her. Interrupting what she'd been about to say. "I'll help you. You don't need to leave. If we ever have a chance to find a way to be better this is it." How could they ever get a better influence than Captain America? No, he corrected himself, Steve Rogers. The man was good and far from perfect but despite all that he carried, he didn't let it destroy him. Maybe they could learn from that.

"Not together," her voice was sad and fuller of finality than he'd ever heard. She was giving up on them. "You deserve someone that can still see a way to be better. Someone that can still see the good in life. That's not me Oliver." His heart felt like it was breaking even though a part of him understood.

"You can be that person. We can be learn together, Sara," he told her. He had to believe that they could be more than what life had made them. If someone like Black Widow could follow Steve Rogers and not allow herself to be swallowed by darkness, he had to believe there was hope for he and Sara.

"Oliver," her tone held a note of sadness. "My first thought when Rogers brought up his best friend being the Winter Soldier was that his friend needed to be put down." She dropped his hands and turned to run the toe of her foot over the crater left by the super soldiers' fight. "You didn't hear the Winter Soldier when he and Rogers were fighting." She looked over her shoulder at Oliver.

"Rogers said something that made the soldier hesitate," she told Oliver. "For a split second whoever he was before he was the soldier broke through whatever his trainers did to him. He was in hell. You could hear it in his voice. It only lasted for a moment."

Oliver moved to her side but didn't touch her as she continued. "When he lost the fight with his programing the sound he made sent chills down my spine. That man doesn't want to be what he is and he was screaming against being pushed back under his programing." Oliver could hear how much what she'd seen was affecting her, but she wasn't making sense to him.

"I'm not sure what that has to do with us, Sara or why you feel you need to leaving?" He really was out of his element. Sara had never been any better with feelings than he was. He wasn't sure where any of this was coming from.

"I nearly killed him, Oliver," Sara turned on him. "I knew Rogers didn't want his friend dead, but he's one of the most prolific, feared assassins ever. The League told stories of him. We stayed out of his way. That kind of monster needs to be put down. That's what my training, my programing told me." So why hadn't she? Oliver didn't see a monster in the unconscious, barely alive man Steve had carried downstairs, but he could see how Sara might. He didn't voice his thoughts, just let her continue.

"As I was about to strike, that's when Rogers said whatever it was that made the soldier falter. A second more and I'd have killed him without knowing that Rogers was right. His friend was still in there, I don't know if they can save whoever he was, but if it was you or Laurel, I'd want the chance to try." Sara slid a hand to his cheek. Her skin bore the scars of all her training. He liked that she wasn't smooth against him. He liked that he didn't feel he would taint her by touching her.

"Don't you see," she asked, her voice full of emotion. "I wanted to kill him because that's what the League taught me. I couldn't see that there was any other answer." Her voice rose "I thought Rogers was naive believing that his friend was someone he could save and maybe I'm still right, but after seeing what just happened, I'm not so sure."

Sara's eyes were more haunted than he'd ever remembered seeing them. "I am sure that's a decision I shouldn't be making. What comes next? Do I kill Roy because he's got the Mirakuru running through him? I've been thinking about it, preparing for it." Oliver didn't know what to say. Her admission she'd been gearing up to kill Roy stunned him. Roy was one of them now. He didn't deserve to be put down.

"We will help Roy. We're not going to kill him. He didn't ask for what happened to him." Maybe Oliver really did understand to a point. He thought of leaving. It was his go to response as Dig and Felicity had both pointed out to him. He just hadn't expected Sara to run.

She sighed. She had that sound to it like he was being obtuse and she was about done dealing with him. "Ollie, I don't know who I am anymore. I need to find that out, away from all of this before I get sucked down so low there's no coming back. I'm not even sure if it's already too late."

Oliver fought back the urge to move, to be doing something. He could understand everything Sara was saying and he didn't have any answers. He didn't want to lose her. She was right, they were both damaged. He couldn't help thinking of Felicity and how she made him want to be a better man. Oliver pushed that thought aside. She was with Steve now. She deserved better than Oliver could ever give her, but maybe just sharing what she had to offer as a friend was enough.

Oliver looked at the sky and rocked back on his heels. He couldn't very well ask her to stay. She was looking for peace, he needed to give her the chance to find it. "Where will you go?" He hoped she wouldn't be going back to the league. That wouldn't help her find who she was. That path would only lead her to more darkness.

"I'm not sure," Sara stepped away from him. For a moment she looked lost, a bit like she'd looked sometimes before he'd invited her on his father's yacht and their world had gone to hell. He stood up straighter and resisted the urge to argue more.

"When?" He asked.

"As soon as I'm not needed to keep the Winter Soldier from waking up." She glanced at the door. It was probably time for her to get back downstairs. Oliver wanted to reach for her but he had the feeling that she wouldn't want him to right now so he nodded. Sara held his eyes for a moment before she too nodded and headed back through the door. This was hard. He was used to people coming and going in his life but it didn't get easier. Maybe after all he'd done in his life this was what he deserved.