A/N: *arrives four months late with starbucks* is it too late to apologize

"Bring it!" Ven taunted, unleashing a flurry of strikes at his opponent. Energy flooded through him. He was still small, but he'd been training harder than ever to make up for it.

The Flood disintegrated in front of him. He wasn't sure how the Unversed had gotten so tiny, or why they'd shown up in Cinderella's room at the inn, but he was sure he could handle them. He wouldn't let Terra down.

Where is Terra? He wondered while slicing at a Shoegazer, which crouched into its protective boot at the last moment. No use waiting on it; he rushed across the dresser at a flock of Blue Sea Salts. He and Cinderella should be back by now…

They would be okay, though. Ven had seen Terra fight off all those Unversed at Cinderella's house; nothing bad could happen while he was there. Vanitas had been wrong. Terra was stronger than he thought.

And so am I, he grinned while launching Fire at the pot-shaped Unversed. They exploded into puffs of dark snow.

Heavy boot steps crunched behind him, and he spun to take out the Shoegazer he'd left behind. As he did, he saw Gus peeking out of a crack in the wall behind the dresser.

"Get back, Gus! It's not safe out here!"

Gus flinched back when Ven's keyblade stabbed through the Shoegazer and sent it evaporating towards the ceiling. "Uh, uh… bu-but—"

"Ven!" Jaq pushed Gus aside, running out onto the dresser and nearly crashing into a Red Hot Chili. Ven blew the Unversed away with a quick Aero. "Gotta flurry, gotta flurry! We saw—"

Jaq's eyes went wide at a sudden noise—Ven looked over his shoulder and saw it. A dark portal, like the one Vanitas had disappeared through in his room.

This portal was big. Human-sized. Ven's confidence drained out through his feet.

"Run!" He told Jaq and Gus, dragging the mouse towards the crack in the wall. Of course he wanted to stop Vanitas as much as Terra did, but now—why did he have to be so small? He didn't stand a chance like this!

"Going somewhere?" Vanitas's voice filtered through the portal before the rest of him appeared. He didn't have to rush, though; the mouse-sized Unversed were already barring Ven's way.

"Back off!" He shouted, throwing a Strike Raid ahead as he ran. A couple of the Unversed disintegrated.

It wasn't enough. For once, he was too slow.

Vanitas snorted as he lifted Ven by the back of his jacket with two fingers. Jaq tried to hold on to him, but a quick flick of Vanitas's wrist sent the mouse falling back to the dresser.

"Ven-Ven!" Jaq called. "Don't worry, we help you!"

"Now that's new," Vanitas muttered before holding Ven up at eye level. Or at least, where he assumed his eyes were, if he could see them through the dark mask.

"Nngh—let—go!" He squirmed against the grip, trying to swing his keyblade high enough to reach the masked boy's fingers. This wasn't fair! Tears stung his eyes in spite of himself. He knew he should've left this stupid world where he was so tiny and useless, and now Terra wasn't even here to help him—

"I've got a better idea. You're going to help me for once in your pathetic life, Ventus."

"No!" He tried to slice at Vanitas's hand again. Useless. The boy just laughed, a sharp, hysterical sound.

"You're almost cute this way. That's probably why Terra and Aqua keep you around, huh? It can't be because you're useful." A thought seemed to occur to him, with the way his eyebrows twitched. "You'd better be useful to me, though. If you're not strong enough…"

Ventus could practically feel the glare through the helmet. He definitely felt something, anyway. It made him want to throw up. Or maybe that was just the collar of his shirt digging into his throat.

"I'm plenty strong enough!" He bluffed for time, squirming to take the pressure off his neck. "If I was your size, I'd kick your butt into next week!"

Vanitas laughed again, sounding even more unhinged than before. Ven was just poking a hornet's nest. What did the masked boy want with him, anyway? Wasn't he out for Terra, or the Princesses?

"That's what I'm hoping," he replied seriously.

And then before Ven could puzzle out what that meant, Vanitas was carrying him through the swirling violet portal.

XXX

Ventus was tiny. Tiny! Suddenly it all made sense—well, sort of. He now understood why he hadn't been able to feel his other half correctly, even though they'd been in the same world. He couldn't say he had any idea how it had happened, though. Not that the how mattered; he just needed him fixed. He couldn't merge with someone the size of a mouse.

His free fist clenched and relaxed over and over as he carried Ventus through the dark corridor. He didn't come this far just to give up now. As much as he hated it, he needed Ventus. He needed his light, he needed the X-Blade, he needed to hurry before Xehanort found out what he was doing, before he found Cinderella where Vanitas had left her in the Graveyard—

"Stop that," he snapped down at Ventus, who kept squirming in his fist. Even as small as he was, his glare still freaked Vanitas out. Not that he would show it. It was just uncanny, seeing his old face like that. It wasn't often he got to look at Ventus up close.

"I should be big again," Ventus said, ignoring him. "We're not in the Castle of Dreams. Why am I still so small?"

"Void if I know," Vanitas grumbled back. Two steps in, and this plan was already falling apart. Ventus didn't even seem that scared, despite his tiny size. Maybe he'd realized he was too important to kill right now. A growl rumbled in his chest, along with a couple of Bruisers.

"What do you want with me, anyway?" Ventus finally asked as Vanitas quickened his pace. The corridors were faster than keyblade gliders, but there was still some space to walk through before he could exit in the Graveyard.

"I want you to shut up."

"What, am I getting on your nerves?" Ventus grinned maliciously. Vanitas hadn't thought him capable of that expression. "Is it 'cause you were wrong? Terra isn't a different person. He's gonna come beat you up even if I can't."

Vanitas laughed sharply. "That's what you think? You really are an idiot."

"You're an idiot if you think Terra will let you get away with this."

"Terra's going to be too steeped in darkness to do anything about it," he finally snapped. "Especially once he realizes his Princess is gone."

"Cinderella?" He squirmed again, as if escaping here would even help him. He was so tiny, Vanitas would be able to snatch him back up before he got close to either exit of the dark corridor. "What did you do to her!?"

"Nothing. Yet." He smirked beneath his mask. Ventus was silent for a charged moment.

"Terra's really going to kill you. If I don't do it first."

Vanitas snorted. "Oh, grow u–"

He didn't get to finish, because that was when Ventus literally grew. So quickly he hardly realized what was happening, his other half reverted to his original size, nearly falling on top of Vanitas in the process.

"Agh–!" He scrambled out of the way, shaking out his fist. Well, that was one problem solved, at least. Maybe. Ventus was springing up from the misty ground already, summoning his keyblade, fixing Vanitas with a fierce glare.

"Alright, you still want that fight now?" He taunted.

Vanitas itched to summon Void Gear. It wasn't a half-bad idea. But the Keyblade Graveyard was the only place the X-Blade had been forged in legend. He might be desperate, but he couldn't rush this, not when it risked ruining everything at the last second.

"More than you know," he muttered, but didn't call his own weapon.

"What was that? You scared now?"

Vanitas bit down a growl. At this rate, Ventus would annoy him so much that his Unversed would come bursting out and—actually, that wasn't a bad idea. He smirked.

"I'll show you what it's like to be scared."

He spread his arms and released the emotions that he'd held to so tightly. Floods, Scrappers, Bruisers—the rawest forms of annoyance, desperation, fear—

Longing. There were a disproportionate amount of the shivering Scrappers that held that emotion. Whatever, they would serve him as well as the others.

Shock passed over Ventus's face before the Unversed surrounded him, meshing their amorphous bodies around him in a horrifying cage. He could've summoned a Cursed Coach the way he had for Cinderella, but Ventus didn't deserve the relative comfort. Besides, his head felt clearer with all those emotions on the outside rather than in.

Ventus struggled and screamed, but corridor of darkness seemed to swallow the sound.

"You're wasting your energy. No one can hear you," Vanitas said, gesturing for the blob of Unversed to follow him. A tangled mass of mismatched legs somehow supported both Ventus and the Unversed's weight.

"You can hear me," Ventus pointed out.

Vanitas snorted. His old voice was already getting tiring on his ears.

"No one who cares can hear you," he corrected. Ventus still kept struggling, snarling at his Unversed captors. With that expression, he almost looked like Vanitas.

"Why are you doing this?" He burst when they were steps away from the end of the corridor. "What's your problem?"

"What's my problem? What's my problem?" He finally spun and spat back. "You don't get to ask that, Ventus!"

His problem was staring back with wide eyes, blinking in the corridor's dim light. For all of his earlier taunting, he finally seemed to realize how deep in trouble he was. Good. This wasn't some silly adventure with dwarves or fairies or sickeningly-cute mice. Ventus should fear him.

Before Vanitas could end his other half right there, he dragged him out of the corridor.

XXX

No, no, no…

Hot tears sprang up in Cinderella's eyes once Vanitas left her alone in the belly of his monster, a monster that was a cruel parody of the carriage her Fairy Godmother had created for her. She curled up in the center of it, staring out through the jagged shape of its mouth. Her tears blurred the sight of the rugged landscape outside of her cage.

"This… this can't be happening…"

But it was. Terra was gone. Even her mice friends were far away, still at the inn where she'd left them. No one could hear her cries for help—unless she counted the monster she was trapped in, which bounced fitfully at each noise she made. She didn't dare find out what it would do if she kept shouting.

"When you wake up from this delusion, you know where to find us."

Stepmother's voice echoed in her head. Cinderella's body shook with a muffled sob. Had she been deluded after all? Terra had said she wouldn't be alone, but now she was. Alone, and helpless, and how was she supposed to keep believing when she was already trapped again?

This time it was so much worse, because she had believed. She'd believed in herself, and she'd believed in Terra, and it still hadn't been enough.

Would anything she did ever be enough?

"You have to be strong. Strength of heart will carry you through the hardest of trials."

Her sob turned into a tiny hiccup. Terra had thought she was strong. What had he called her? A princess of… a Princess of Heart?

"You run pretty fast, for a princess."

Even Vanitas seemed to believe it. And… and there was that time Terra thought she's healed him… but what did it mean? Was there some kind of strength in her heart, a strength she'd yet to understand?

She realized that she'd stopped crying. While her hands still shook, her mind began to clear.

There was no one coming to save her this time. No Terra, no Fairy Godmother. But she couldn't give up. She'd come too far.

She pulled herself into a sitting position and began to take inventory of what she did have. She still wore her plain brown dress with her apron fastened over it, and in one pocket jingled a few pieces of the strange diamond-shaped currency Terra had lent her. She didn't suppose she could bribe the pumpkin-shaped monster into letting her go, though. What else could be useful?

Her hand closed around a needle in her other apron pocket. That wouldn't make much of a weapon now, but maybe if Vanitas came back… well, it would probably be useless then too, unless she caught him completely by surprise.

Alright, I have money, a needle, and… the guild paperwork. She had the incongruous thought of Vanitas hiring her as a tailor. She would have to make him something more suitable than that ragged skirt, and—

She shook her head and almost laughed. Well, laughing was better than crying again. Even if she had nothing that could help her, even if she was all alone, even if the cage was rolling back and forth restlessly again...

On a strange impulse, she patted the floor softly.

"Shh, shh, it's alright," she reassured the monster in a choked voice. "I'm not going anywhere. I—I can't go anywhere."

The cage paused. Was it listening? Could it listen? She could talk to some other animals, but she'd never attempted to communicate with Vanitas's monsters before.

"Can you understand me?"

It bounced slightly. If she'd been standing, she likely would have fallen.

"Alright, I'm not quite sure what that means..."

It wasn't like she could see its face. Unless those curved windows she stared out were its eyes and mouth, but they didn't change expression. The only way the monster did change was by swelling and contracting. Almost like it was breathing.

"You're very strange," she commented, her voice growing more confident. Even if it couldn't understand her, speaking helped her feel more at ease.

Slowly she stood and, after a hesitant step, rested her hand on the wall. The giant pumpkin-carriage-monster (animal?) contracted again, as if it were… leaning into her touch?

"Do you like that?" She asked with a small smile. Yes, the creature was a monster, created by another monster… or boy, or… nevermind; she really didn't know what was going on. Better to wait before jumping to any conclusions.

The creature wasn't rolling anymore, but it did rock slowly back and forth. Peacefully. Alright, this… this she could work with. If she could soothe the creature, perhaps it would allow her to escape.

"Sing, sweet nightingale, sing sweet nightingale…" She murmured the melody while still petting the wall.

It stuttered at her voice, but soon settled back into its calm rocking motion.

"Sing sweet nightingale, oh, sing sweet…"

She gasped when white light began emanating from her palm. What was—was this part of her magic, like how she'd helped heal Terra? The light felt tingly in her hand, but she had no idea how to control it. Or what it was doing.

But the pumpkin creature sunk lower on its wheels, shuddering as its underbelly brushed the ground. Its mouthlike window lolled open. A few heartbeats passed, and then it was still.

Did… did I really do that? She had so many questions, but there was no one around to answer them. And there never would be, unless she escaped.

So she drew her hand back—hoping the magic would still last after her palm stopped glowing—and crept towards the wide window. Her dress caught on the edge as she stepped out, but miraculously she was able to untangle herself without waking the creature.

The dry ground crunched underfoot. All around were strange, broken rock formations, a landscape she'd never seen from the manor windows. But she didn't have time to take it in. She had to get out of here, before the creature came to.

But now that she was out, she had a crushing revelation—there was nowhere to go. Pillars and craters of rock extended as far as the eye could see in the valley before her. Behind the pumpkin-creature was a sheer cliff face, much too steep to climb. She stood on a wide plateau between the cliff and the valley, unable to escape left or right, up or down.

"No," she whispered. "No…"

Before the hopelessness of her situation could sink in entirely, however, she heard one of Vanitas's portals open several paces away. If he came back and saw her outside, she had no idea what he'd do.

But she was not getting back in that cage. She dove behind a large outcropping and peered around for a view of her kidnapper. His portals might be her only way out of this lifeless world. She just needed to get through one without him noticing, and navigate that terrifying darkness between, and…

All thoughts of escape fled her when she saw what came through the portal. Vanitas was there, of course. But behind him was the most repulsive thing she'd ever seen. Eyes, legs, arms—all bits and pieces of the boy's monsters were mashed together to make one lumbering blob. The poor thing had to be suffering—if it could feel, anyway.

But she needn't have worried for the creature. It melted back into Vanitas as soon as it arrived. But in its place gasped someone she hadn't expected to see.

She covered her gasp. Was that Ven? He was so much bigger—a regular-sized boy, like he'd always claimed to be. But Vanitas… what did he want with him? What did he want with all of them? Was Ven part of his plan to lure Terra here, too?

The two boys were too far away for Cinderella to make out their words, but before long Ven was back on his feet, summoning his keyblade, leaping at Vanitas. But the masked boy was just as fast. His dark blade flashed and blocked the attack.

"Ven…" She wanted so badly to help, but what could she do? She didn't even have a broom to swing this time.

The two boys clashed, back and forth, light and dark, a swirling dance so unlike the one she'd shared at the ball. This dance grew more and more one-sided as Vanitas's spells and strikes landed, and Ven's didn't. She didn't want to watch. She didn't want to see what injuries her friend would come back with, when all was said and done.

If he came back from this fight at all.

The thought echoed through her, pounding in the blood inside her ears. She couldn't stand and wait for the outcome of this fight.

"Vanitas!" She shouted, darting from her hiding place.

What was she doing? It didn't matter, didn't matter that this was reckless and foolish and she might get herself killed—she had to try. Ven needed her.

The helmeted face swiveled to her. "You—! Stay out of this!"

"Cinderella?" Ven called. No, she hadn't meant to distract him too!

Vanitas recovered from his surprise faster and shoot a magical chunk of ice at her friend.

"No!"

Ven flew back. The ice that had struck his chest blossomed outward until it covered him up to his neck. He squirmed, but the ice dug roots into the dry ground, holding him fast.

"Pathetic," Vanitas spat. "Counting on a helpless Princess to save you?"

"Cinderella, get back! He's dangerous!" Ven pleaded. Doubt flared in her; had she just made things worse by attempting to help?

"I know, Ven," she murmured, standing between the two boys. Her heart was trying to pound out of her chest. But Vanitas hadn't attacked yet, which meant she had a chance.

She couldn't fight him. But she could try something else.

"Why?" She stared at where she knew Vanitas's eyes would be. "Why are you doing this?"

She knew from experience that some people were just filled with darkness. Her stepmother, her stepsisters—people like that didn't need a reason to hurt others, beyond their own selfishness. Maybe Vanitas was like them.

But, maybe he wasn't.

"That's what you think, huh." Quiet words he'd spoken right after being called an abomination. A boy's pleading face. Had it really been a trick?

Vanitas paused, every muscle coiled tight beneath his suit.

"You wouldn't care," he spat from beneath his mask. "Get out of my way."

"No." She swallowed. "I do care. And I won't move."

Vanitas hissed something under his breath. "I can make you move."

"Then why don't you?" It was a question, not a challenge. She knew he could. He was stronger, faster. Something was holding him back.

A strange sound escaped him. Only when it escalated, pitch rising, did she realize it was a hysteric laugh. It filled her with a raw terror. She should move, before this boy—or monster?—snapped completely.

"Why don't I?" He was still laughing. "You think I care, don't you? You think you can talk to me, and everything will be butterflies and rainbows, just like it is for you!"

In a flash he was before her. She cried out and stepped back, but he'd already grabbed her arm.

"Look at me!" He shouted. This close, she still couldn't see through his helmet, but she could see that she was taller than him. He was just a boy.

"I am looking," she said quietly. He may be a boy, but he still had the power to hurt her. End her, if he wanted to. She couldn't forget that.

"Then you should know that what Terra said was right. I'm an abomination."

But she didn't miss how his voice cracked on the word.

"Who told you that?" She whispered.

His grip loosened on her wrist. "What?"

"Was it Terra? Is that why you want to hurt him?"

"What—no!" He sounded like he'd been startled into telling the truth.

"Then who?" She carefully worked her wrist free. He didn't seem to notice. His empty fist clenched tightly.

"It doesn't matter. It's true." His voice held only a shadow of its earlier malice.

Maybe it was true. He'd kidnapped her, and fought her friends, and unleashed his monsters on the worlds. She didn't know him.

But she did know the resignation in his tone. The voice of someone who'd stopped believing—or maybe never believed in the first place.

"It doesn't have to be."

His head jolted up. Oh how she wished she could see beneath that mask, to see if it was surprise or anger or something else that registered in his eyes.

"My life isn't 'butterflies and rainbows,' Vanitas. I know what it's like to be hurt. To have others think you're worthless. Or… less than human."

Her stepsisters tearing at her dress, ripping her apart, their nails clawing trails in her skin. Their words tearing holes in her soul. She knew they were lies, but knowing and feeling were different things then. If Terra and her Fairy Godmother hadn't appeared… would she have come to accept her stepfamily's view of her?

Would she have stopped believing she had worth, too?

Vanitas's hands shook. For a moment she naively thought he would drop his weapon, but then his grip tightened.

"How would you know that?" He spat, but it was quiet, lacking feeling. "I'm not human, Princess, so just—just get out of my way, so I can be."

Her eyes widened. Behind her, Ven gasped.

"You need me for what?" He asked.

At the sound of Ven's voice, though, something in Vanitas seemed to harden.

"Shut up!" He shouted at him, and brought the hilt of his blade into her stomach.

Caught off guard and winded from the blow, she stumbled back next to Ven.

"Please, Vanitas," she gasped out. "Don't do this."

She still couldn't see his eyes, but she thought she could feel them.

"I'll do exactly what I have to."

XXX

"Who told you that?"

"It doesn't matter. It's true."

"It doesn't have to be."

The Princess's words rushed like blood in his ears. She wasn't supposed to talk to him. She wasn't supposed to care. He'd manipulated her before, when he'd showed her that glimpse of his face. Was one display of emotion enough to convince her he was human? That he was worth something?

She might believe that. But he couldn't afford to make the same mistake.

A shot of Blizzard, and the Princess lay frozen to the ground next to Ventus. Nevermind the fact that he'd closed his eyes while doing it. Nevermind the fact that now she was looking at him with something too close to pity.

Focus. He just had to thaw Ventus. Finish the fight they were destined for. Become whole, and…

"Why are you doing this?"

His other half glared as Vanitas cast Fire. He kept the flame burning, just enough to melt him free. They couldn't rejoin unless both were fighting their hardest, pouring their whole half-hearts into it.

That was why he was doing this, right? So he could have light, and not be an abomination, and maybe, maybe Aqua would…

"I do care."

Would Aqua care too, if she knew the truth? Would she have sympathy for an abomination?

No, the Princess might be that stupid, but Aqua wasn't.

As soon as the ice softened, Ventus snapped up, keyblade slicing straight for Vanitas's helmet. He flipped backwards and tightened his grip on Void Gear.

This was his last plan. His only plan. He couldn't let the Princess get under his skin.

He threw everything he could into his attacks. He was weaker without the commands Aqua had stolen from him—he felt the lack of Triple Firaga most—but he could still do this. He'd been winning before. Ventus couldn't hope to beat him, not when he still shivered with the cold remnants of the Blizzard spell.

But for now Ventus was still fast enough. Metal grated as their blades collided. An electric shock ran through Vanitas's arms, but his other half hadn't cast Thunder.

Is it happening already? His eyes widened. Xehanort had said one of them had to actually be destroyed for them to merge, but this sensation—it was almost like when he traced Ventus through their lingering connection. Light fizzled in his veins, pushing down his Unversed.

Ventus jumped back, panting but grinning at Vanitas's dazed expression. "That's all you've got?"

"Nngh—Shut up!"

He charged again, ignoring the jolt when they clashed this time. Each blocked strike didn't hurt, but there was something there—something trying to tap into his heart—

It must be happening. Xehanort was wrong. Now that the moment was here, he couldn't help his flash of worry. What if he didn't come out quite right? What if the light erased what was left of him? What if he didn't get his old face back?

What if he did? Aqua had called him handsome with this face…

It doesn't matter, he told himself. This is my only chance to be me again.

He pushed harder against Wayward Wind and let the warm sensation overtake him.

XXX

"Please don't do this, Master! I'm not strong enough!" He felt the words in his throat, but—was that really his voice? What was going on? He knew he was merging with Ventus, but the voice was too young, too high even for him. When he tried to touch his throat, he found he couldn't move.

No, no, NO— he couldn't be trapped in here, stuck in Ven's head but never being whole—

"No. It is because you are trying to hold it in." That voice, at least, was familiar. He'd know Xehanort's condescending rasp anywhere.

But Xehanort shouldn't be here. Cinderella was the only other one in the Graveyard… unless more time had passed than he'd realized?

His eyes unwillingly looked towards the top of the cliff where the old Master stood.

"Let the dark impulses waken in the pit of your heart. Release them, here and now! Sharpen your fear into rage."

The words felt familiar. Where had he heard them before?

Dark pools surrounded him. Even if this was just a memory, his instinctive sickness at the sight felt real. That was ridiculous, though. It was light that always hurt him, not darkness.

Humanoid shapes clawed their way out of the liquid darkness. Shapes with glowing, familiar yellow eyes.

Vanitas's heart stopped. He knew these Heartless.

Neoshadows.

Fear clawed its way into his throat. He wanted nothing more than to run, flee these monsters, but his body wouldn't budge.

"Move, idiot!" He tried to shout at Ven. Or Ventus? Maybe it wasn't Ven, it wasn't him, just the stupid shell left behind, the shell that didn't want him then and didn't want him now that he was a voice in his head—

"You must!" Xehanort barked. "If you do not let the storm within you run its course, it will wipe you from the face of the world, make no mistake!"

Ven's body didn't react, other than to flinch away from the approaching Heartless. Meanwhile, panic built up in Vanitas's veins, unable to escape as Unversed. He'd always felt that his fear of Neoshadows arose from something in his locked memories, the half trapped in Ventus. The half closest to their split.

Was this it? Was this how he'd been torn from his other half?

It was a brittle comfort that Xehanort seemed to be trying to stop that from happening. If this was a memory, Vanitas knew that he didn't succeed.

"Do it," Xehanort rasped as the Neoshadows grew closer. Why wasn't he destroying the Heartless? He said something about Ven wiping himself out with his own darkness, but there had to be another way. He was just a kid. He wasn't a monster, not yet.

"Embrace the darkness," his master continued. "Produce for your Master the X-blade!"

The— what?

Vanitas didn't have time to process the Master's words. The Neoshadows were too close, so close he could smell the darkness wafting off them, like rotten fruit.

"Come on Ven, fight! You'll be ripped apart!"

But Vanitas knew how it ended. He screamed wordlessly as the sharp, shadowy claws struck.

Yellow eyes filled his vision. Pain; cold, cold darkness…

...But he was alive. Still inside Ven. That… that couldn't be right, no, he was so sure this was how they'd been broken…

He laid with his face in the dirt, still unable to move of his own will. Heart still pounding. How long would he be stuck in this vision, this memory? He was supposed to merge with Ventus in the present, but what if somehow he'd gone back, he'd never been broken in the first place? Never been created…

"Really? You would rather die than use the power? Feckless neophyte." Master Xehanort's words—and the force of his boot turning him over—dragged Vanitas from his fragmented thoughts.

He was… he was letting him die. Even though he was Ven. He wasn't an abomination.

"If I must... I will extract the darkness from within you myself."

No… no, no! This was all wrong! Master Xehanort always said the split was an accident!

The Master's barbed keyblade appeared in a cloud of darkness. Hovered over Ven's heart.

Vanitas couldn't look away.

His master's cruel smile gleamed down at him as the beam of light struck, and shattered his heart.

XXX

Vanitas gasped for breath, stumbling back from the force of Ventus's blow—and the force of the vision it had inflicted.

They hadn't merged. The failure would've infuriated him, if he wasn't still reeling.

That memory couldn't be real. It just couldn't. It was some kind of trick, only Ventus wasn't that smart, and he didn't seem to realize he'd done anything. They were still fighting, as if no time had passed. But everything was different. Vanitas knew.

Xehanort just wanted the X-Blade.

Xehanort had broken him on purpose.

Xehanort didn't care if Vanitas was ever whole.

He should've known. He knew his master didn't care about him, but always thought it was just because he was broken, a fragment, a monster. And it wasn't like Vanitas cared about him in return. Once he had the X-Blade, he was going to make it so his Master could never hurt him ever again.

But he'd lied. Xehanort did a lot of things, but Vanitas didn't think he lied.

...If he lied about how Vanitas was created, what else was a lie?

Too many questions. Stupid, losing focus in the middle of the most important fight of his life. Merging with Ventus was still his only chance.

He cast a hasty Firaga that disrupted Ventus's Blitz. The boy caught it on the teeth of his blade, dropped, rolled and sprung back into action. For once, Vanitas felt too slow. He blocked the string of attacks, but at each one, his other half's light fizzed through him. What would happen if it broke through his defenses again? What other shadows of his past would Vanitas see?

Then Ventus gasped and skidded back. "What was—what did you do to me!"

"Did you see it too?" Desperation edged the question. Would Ventus remember him? Would he see that they were meant to be reunited?

"You…" Ventus took another step backwards, shaking his head. "No. No."

"You did." Vindication swept through him. "Then you know why I have to fight you."

Wide blue eyes stared back at him. What would it be like to stare out those eyes again?

(Could he? Or was that just a lie from Xehanort too; could he even be whole at all—)

"I don't know why you want to fight me, or what I saw," Ventus began lowly. "But I know one thing. I will not let you hurt my friends!"

His voice built to a shout—and then exploded in a rush of wind. Vanitas didn't have time to breathe before the sudden Aerora flung him into the air, slammed him against a rock pillar.

The back of his helmet hit with a sharp crack. When his vision returned, spiderweb fractures had bloomed into his line of sight.

"Nngh…" What was that ringing noise? Everything spun, especially the figure striding towards him.

"You had enough yet?" Ventus asked. Too loud. Why was his voice so loud?

With that glare, he looked more like Vanitas than he knew. The image distracted him from the pain shooting through his skull.

I can't give up. I can't…

But his body didn't want to move. He tried to cast a weak Cure, but got a wave of nausea for his efforts. His head still throbbed. Ventus wasn't half the opponent Aqua and Terra were, but he was also fresh. No amount of Cures or Potions could keep Vanitas going forever.

Is this it, then? Pathetic...

He sucked in a deep breath, trying to clear his head and push down the nausea. Why hadn't Ventus killed him yet? Maybe they would still be able to merge if he did.

(If Xehanort hadn't lied about that. If.)

Could he risk that? What if Xehanort just wanted him dead?

(He's an abomination beyond hope of salvation, after all.)

"Are you… are you still awake?" Ventus asked. Too loud, too loud, just like the wind beating against the cliff and the thoughts tripping over themselves in his head.

He was still slumped against the pillar. Ventus had asked if he was awake, but really, he might've looked dead. His chest barely rose with his shallow breaths. His back had to be one messy splotch of bruises. And his mask was still intact, if barely. It wouldn't be able to take another hit.

"Do it," he finally whispered.

"What?" Ventus stepped forward. Vanitas wasn't sure if he hadn't heard, or if he didn't understand.

"Do it. Kill me."

Ventus gaped at the blunt request. "What?"

Vanitas tried to get to his feet, but his head wasn't quite ready. More spinning, tilting, falling. Did he have a concussion? Void, that would explain it. Cure spells didn't work on those. Or at least, his Cure spells didn't.

"Kill me. Or else Xehanort's going to."

Either Ventus killed him and they forged the X-Blade, or Xehanort killed him for his failure. But even if he did create the powerful weapon, there was a good chance Xehanort would kill him and take it. Why else would the old coot be so insistent on Vanitas making it? Insistent enough to rip him apart?

"Master Xehanort?" Ventus asked incredulously. But no, that wasn't Ventus's voice.

"Terra!" Ventus called, running to throw his arms around his friend as he jumped from his glider.

Vanitas's throat went dry. Of course Terra would come. He'd taken Cinderella to draw him here, but he'd thought he'd have more time. Time to merge with Ventus, then destroy Terra before Xehanort could use his body to become more powerful.

But with Ventus and Terra here now—and considering the state Vanitas was in—he didn't have a chance. Terra would kill him before his other half could. They wouldn't reunite. The abomination of Vanitas would cease to exist.

It wouldn't… it wouldn't be so bad, would it?

He'd always fought tooth and nail to cling to life. But he'd always had hope. Hope for the X-Blade, hope that he'd become whole. Even as his plans grew more and more desperate, he'd never given up.

But he hadn't taken the smartest path, either. If he'd just killed Aqua, would he have ended up like this?

At least she's not here. She… Xehanort thinks she's dead. She'll be safe.

The thought brought a smile to his lips even as Terra, Ventus, and a now-thawed Cinderella stalked towards him.

"I think he hit his head too hard," Ventus was telling Terra. Still too loud. "He wasn't moving. And then he wanted me to kill him."

Cinderella gasped at that. The cracks in the left side of his helmet split Terra's image like fractals, but Vanitas could still tell that his expression was solid steel.

"I know we can't trust you, Vanitas," the older boy said in a low, dangerous voice. "So I'm not going to bother asking you why you kidnapped my friends."

"So you're just going to kill me." Vanitas's voice was flat. For once, he wasn't up for arguing. He was just so, so tired. He faintly registered a sticky warmth dripping down the back of his neck… that was sweat, right?

"No," Terra said after sharing a look with Cinderella. "We'll take you back to Master Eraqus. He'll decide what to do with you."

"Ah. So he'll kill me."

He should really take off his helmet. The warmth on his neck was tickling. He had the strangest urge to laugh even as he felt like he would vomit. That would be a problem in his mask.

But then they'd see his face. He didn't want them to see how lost he felt.

How scared.

He didn't want to die.

"I thought you asked me to… put an end to you," Ventus said quietly.

Vanitas's eyes widened. Had he been reading his thoughts? No, just responding to his earlier dismal tone.

"No," he whispered. Too quietly for the trio to hear.

"Forget it, Ven. Let's just get him on the glider. I'm sure the Master will know what to do."

"Should we try to heal him?" The Princess's voice. Somewhere along the way Vanitas's eyes had closed. So tired.

"Not yet. He'll probably attack again, if he can."

"But…"

She still wanted to heal him? After everything he'd done? Void, she really was stupid. He wished she would, though. His skull felt as cracked as his helmet. And he really needed to move. He couldn't let them take him to their Master, and he couldn't stay here where his own Master would find him.

He had to escape. He didn't know where, or how, but surely there was somewhere in the worlds where Xehanort wouldn't find him. There had to be somewhere, anywhere—

But he was so tired.

Tired enough that he barely fought the arms lifting him onto the metal glider. And tired enough that he didn't hear the other glider arrive, until its owner shouted towards him.

"Void!"

But not tired enough to keep Aqua's voice from cutting to his half-heart.

A/N: originally we were going to get to Aqua in this chapter. But. This is solid 18 pages in my google doc already.

Anyway I know I've been super slow at updating this so I hope you still remember some of the foreshadowing for Ven/Vanitas's memory loss and not knowing the whole truth about how he was split. If not, here's my disclaimer that I know that isn't canon but I've been writing it this way all along, so I hope it didn't feel out of nowhere.