Act 1
Fade in:
Int. Little Girl's Bedroom – Night
Mother (O.S.)
Good night, sweetheart.
Little Girl (O.S.)
Good night, mom.
Father (O.S.)
Sleep tight, little angel.
(The bedroom light clicks off. Soft moonlight illuminates the room. A little girl snuggles into bed as her parents' footsteps fade away down the hall. All is quiet.
Unfortunately, the girl realizes her parents didn't set her alarm yet, so she goes to do so, only to hear a meow behind her; her pet cat, Munkustrap, appeared from the hallway after her parents left the room, wanting attention.)
Little Girl
Now, now, Munkustrap. It's bedtime now, but I'll let you sleep with me if you want to.
(After petting her cat, the girl finally sets her alarm before going back to bed, and allows her cat to sleep with her.
After she falls asleep, she then begins to dream as we transition to…)
Blur to:
Int. The Junkyard – Night
"Jellicle Songs for Jellicle Cats"
(After a minute of dream transition sequence, the girl rises into a state of false awakening and finds herself in a larger-than-life junkyard. As she looks around, she stops to look at herself, realizing she is now a kitten. As a result, from this point onward, we will now call her Jemima.
Suddenly, there was a knock coming from a sewer hatch, followed by a voice of a man heard below Jemima.)
Man
Hey!
(Alarmed to her someone to be let out, Jemima steps out of the way, and out emerges her pet cat, Munkustrap, who is also in her dream.)
Munkustrap
Thank you.
(Surprised to see her pet cat in her dream, Jemima moves closer towards him, as if she was about to pet him, and then…)
Munkustrap
Are you blind when you're born?
(And one by one, more cats appear, and a colony of feral cats begin to form around Jemima.)
Demeter
Can you see in the dark?
James
Dare you look at a king?
Peter
Would you sit on his throne?
Plato
Can you say of your bite that it's worse than your bark?
Alonzo
Are you cock of the walk…?
Exotica
…when you're walking alone?
Together
Because Jellicles are and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles would
Jellicles would and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellylorum
When you fall on your head, do you land on your feet?
Coricopat & Tantomile
Are you tense when you sense there's a storm in the air?
Victoria
Can you find your way blind when you're lost in the street?
Victor
Do you know how to go to the Heaviside Layer?
Together
Because Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Coricopat & Tantomile
Can you ride on a broomstick to places far distant?
Meredith
Familiar with candle, with book and with bell?
Bombalurina
Were you Whittington's friend?
Quaxo
The Pied Piper's assistant?
Admetus
Have you been an alumnus of heaven or hell?
Jonathan
Are you mean like a minx?
Sillabub
Are you lean like a lynx?
George
Are you keen to be seen when you're smelling a rat?
Cassandra
Were you there when the pharaohs commissioned the Sphinx?
All (except Jemima)
If you were and you are, you're a Jellicle cat
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Bill Bailey
We can dive through the air like a flying trapeze
Etcetera
We can turn double somersaults, bounce on a tire
Carbucketty
We can run up the wall
Electra
We can swing through the trees
Munkustrap
We can balance on bars, even walk on a wire
All (except Jemima)
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
All Females (except Jemima)
Can you sing at the same time, in more than one key,
Duets by Rossini…?
All Males
…and waltzes by Strauss?
All Females (except Jemima)
[Vocalize!]
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah…
All Males
And can you, as cats do, begin with a 'C'?
Jemima
(Instantly hits a high 'C' note.)
Laaaaaaaa!
All (except Jemima)
Wow!
That always triumphantly brings down the house!
All
Jellicle cats are queens of the nights
Singing at astronomical heights
Handling pieces from the Messiah
Hallelujah, angelical choir-!
(Suddenly, this song was interrupted when there was a tremendous thud, making the whole junkyard shake, and everyone jump. It was a massive boot thrown by an annoyed human neighbor.
After a reaction to that made Jemima and her friends startled, they brush it off and spring back into action.)
All
Jellicle cats are queens of the nights
Singing at astronomical heights
Handling pieces from the Messiah
Hallelujah, angelical choir!
(Now, a la church choir.)
The mystical divinity of unashamed felinity
Round the cathedral rang, "Vivat!"
Life to the everlasting cat!
Feline, fearless, faithful and true
To others who do what…
(Beat)
Jellicles do and Jellicles can
Jellicles can and Jellicles do
Jellicle cats sing Jellicle chants
Jellicles old and Jellicles new
Jellicle song and Jellicle dance
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Practical cats, Dramatical cats
Pragmatical cats, Fanatical cats
Oratorical cats, Delphic-Oracle cats
Skeptical cats, Dyspeptical cats
Romantical cats, Pedantical cats
Critical cats, Parasitical cats
Allegorical cats, Metaphorical cats
Statistical cats and Mystical cats
Political cats, Hypocritical cats
Clerical cats, Hysterical cats
Cynical cats, Rabbinical cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
Jellicle songs for Jellicle cats
(Unfortunately, they are not alone, because once the opening number is done, Jemima notices that she and her dream friends are being watched by a human audience from the film screen.)
Jemima
There's a man over there with a look of surprise,
As much as to say—well now, how about that!
(This made all the cats, at first, reluctant and suspicious to include others in her dream.)
Munkustrap
Do I actually see, with my own very eyes,
A man who's not heard of a Jellicle cat?
Or what's a Jellicle cat?
Jemima
Yeah, what's a Jellicle cat?
Other Cats
What's a Jellicle cat?
(They are proud and vigilant, however, and together, they decide to make it official. So, they gather to quietly and intensely explain to their human visitors in unison about…)
"The Naming of Cats"
All
The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn't just one of your holiday games;
You may think, at first, I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there's the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey-
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter-
But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular,
A name that's peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum-
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there's still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover-
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular name…name…name…name…name…name…name…
"The Invitation to the Jellicle Ball"
(Everyone fades away, except for a white cat named Victoria, who begins to dance a beautiful, measured, impossibly graceful solo. This is how she sends out invitations to the annual Jellicle Ball by signaling. A little cat, in puberty, discovering her own body.
Her brother in black, Quaxo, eventually joins her, and draws the rest of the colony, including Munkustrap and Jemima, back in one place.)
Quaxo
Jellicle cats come out tonight,
Jellicle cats come one, come all:
The Jellicle moon is shining bright-
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball.
Jellicle cats come out tonight,
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball.
(Meanwhile, Munkustrap, who now becomes Jemima's mentor for the remainder of her dream, elaborating on the purpose of the ball.)
Munkustrap
Jellicle cats meet once a year
At the Jellicle Ball where we all rejoice,
Plus, our Jellicle leader might then appear
To make what is known as the Jellicle choice.
That's when Old Deuteronomy, just before dawn
(Through a silence you'd feel you could cut with a knife),
Announces the cat who will soon be reborn
And come back to different Jellicle life.
For waiting up there is the Heaviside Layer,
Full of wonders one Jellicle will only see,
Thus Jellicles ask, because Jellicles dare:
"Who will it be?"
Other Cats
Who will it be?
(From this point onward, each of the cats tells his or her own story in song and dance, hoping to be chosen as the special cat to journey to the Heaviside Layer to be reborn to a new life!
After a tour around the Jellicle territory, Munkustrap brings Jemima to a car boot, where he shall now introduce…)
"The Old Gumbie Cat"
Munkustrap
I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;
Her coat is like a tabby kind, with tiger stripes and leopard spots.
All day, she sits upon the stair, or on the steps, or on the mat;
She sits, and sits, and sits, and sits-and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat.
(Opens the car boot to reveal Jennyanydots in her huge house coat.)
That's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
(Calling for support…)
Ladies!
(Three females, Bombalurina, Jellylorum, & Demeter, instantly appear behind Munkustrap. One of them blows the pitch pipe, and the trio begins to warm up before taking their turn over the following…)
Bombalurina, Jellylorum, & Demeter
Hmmm…
But when the day's hustle and bustle is done,
Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun.
And when all the family's in bed and asleep,
She tucks up her skirts to the basement to creep.
Now, she's deeply concerned with the ways of the mice-
Jennyanydots
Their behaviors' not good, and their manners' not nice;
Bombalurina, Jellylorum, & Demeter
So when she has got them lined up on the matting,
She teaches them…
Jennyanydots
…music, crocheting and tatting.
(Conducts an orchestra of mice.)
Munkustrap
I have a Gumbie Cat in mind, her name is Jennyanydots;
The curtain-cord she likes to wind, and tie it into sailor-knots.
She sits upon the window-sill, or anything that's smooth and flat:
She sits and sits and sits and sits-and that's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
That's what makes a Gumbie Cat!
Bombalurina, Jellylorum, & Demeter
But when the day's hustle and bustle is done,
Then the Gumbie Cat's work is but hardly begun.
Now, she thinks that the cockroaches…
Jennyanydots
…just need employment
Bombalurina, Jellylorum, & Demeter
To prevent them from…
Jennyanydots
…idle and wanton destroyment.
Bombalurina, Jellylorum, & Demeter
So she's formed, from that lot of disorderly louts,
A troop of well-disciplined helpful boy-scouts,
Jennyanydots
With a purpose in life and a good deed to do-
Bombalurina, Jellylorum, & Demeter
And she's even created a Beetles' Tattoo.
(At Munkustrap's signal, Bombalurina, Demeter and Jellylorum remove Jenny's coat, gloves and slippers, revealing her fringed tap outfit. Jemima watches in awe as the place is suddenly swarmed by a line of cockroaches. Jenny is delighted by these dancing pests. Big tap break between her and the cockroaches.
Munkustrap joins in and performs his own tap solo, while Jennyanydots wildly plays the drums. Soon, all the cats join in for the big finish.)
Cockroaches
For she's a jolly good fellow!
Jennyanydots
Thank you, my dears!
(BIG FINISH! Jemima applauds over the following, and after that, Munkustrap gives a conclusion about Jenny's career before he can introduce another cat to her.)
Munkustrap
So for our Old Gumbie Cat, let us now give three cheers-
On whom well-ordered households…
(Suddenly, we hear a male voice that rudely finishes Munkustrap's line.)
Male Voice (O.S.)
(Before Munkustrap can finish…)
...depend, it appears!
"The Rum Tum Tugger"
(From out of nowhere, with a rowdy cackle, the brother of Munkustrap, the Rum Tum Tugger, makes an extravagant entrance while swinging on a wire, a la Tarzan of the Apes. Munkustrap, Jemima, and Jennyanydots scamper out of the way as Tugger steals their spot.
A now hesitant Jemima was now forced to shake Tugger's hand, but…)
Rum Tum Tugger
Sike! Ha-ha-ha!
All
The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat:
Rum Tum Tugger
If you offer me pheasant, I'd rather have grouse.
If you put me in a house, I would much prefer a flat,
If you put me in a flat, then I'd rather have a house.
If you set me on a mouse, then I only want a rat,
If you set me on a rat, then I'd rather chase a mouse.
All
The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat-
Rum Tum Tugger
And there isn't any call for me to shout it:
All
For he will do
As he do do
Rum Tum Tugger
And there's no doing anything abo-ou-hout it!
Bustopher Jones
The Rum Tum Tugger is a terrible bore:
Rum Tum Tugger
When you let me in, then I wanna go out;
Yes sir, I'm always on the wrong side of every door,
And as soon as I get home, then I'd like to get about.
I like to lie in the bureau drawer,
But I make such a fuss if I can't get out.
Get it? Get it? GET IT?!
All
The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat-
Rum Tum Tugger
And there isn't any use for you to doubt it:
All
For he will do
As he do do
Rum Tum Tugger
And there's no doing anything abou-ou-ou-hout it!
Bombalurina
The Rum Tum Tugger is a curious beast:
Rum Tum Tugger
My disobliging ways are a matter of habit.
If you offer me fish, then I've always want a feast;
But if there ain't any fish, then I won't eat rabbit.
If you offer me cream, then I'll sniff and sneer,
For I only likes what I find for myself-self-self;
Nah!
So you'll catch me in it right up to the ears
If you put it away on the larder shelf.
All
The Rum Tum Tugger is artful and knowing,
The Rum Tum Tugger…
Rum Tum Tugger
…doesn't care for a cuddle;
But I'll leap on your lap in the middle of your sewing,
Cuz there's nothing I'd enjoy like a horrible muddle.
(During an instrumental break, we observe Tugger looking at himself in the mirror, until being watched by a camera, causing him to put his hand over the lens, and making us to go back into the action.)
All
The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat—
The Rum Tum Tugger doesn't care for a cuddle.
Rum Tum Tugger
(Then joins them for the final chorus.)
Oh, I love to get up to get down! Ha-ha!
All
The Rum Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat-
Rum Tum Tugger
And there isn't any need for me to spout it:
All
For he will do
As he do do
(Tugger then takes position at the center, surrounded by adoring female kittens, all hanging on his final words.)
Rum Tum Tugger
And…there's no…doing anything…aboooooooooooooooout…
Kittens
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Rum Tum Tugger
…aboooooouooouooouoooouut…
Kittens
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Rum Tum Tugger
…aboooouououuuuuuuuuuuut…
Etcetera
(Out of control!)
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
(Instantly, Munkustrap shuts Etcetera up, and goes to reprimand his brother for interrupting the tour, with Jemima and Jennyanydots also confronting him.)
Munkustrap
(a la David Seville.)
TUGGER!
Rum Tum Tugger
(Gives Munkustrap a second to finish his song; after a beat.)
…about it!
(After Tugger finishes his song, the female kittens begin mobbing Tugger, but Munkustrap, Jemima, and Jennyanydots block them.)
Munkustrap
Jellicles, wall formation!
(The rest of the Cats join in the chaos, forming a wall to block the kittens from reaching Tugger, but the kittens somehow manage to break through, ready to tear Tugger's clothes off until everyone freezes for a moment when they spot a mysterious figure appearing from the shadows.
Although this figure was also a Jellicle cat, but is actually, and currently, an outcast. Ever since she was young, she was exiled from the colony for illegally predicting her future, including ruling over it as matriarch. Realizing her sinful mistake, she finds some ways to go back and beg for forgiveness, but every time she trespasses, the other Cats ignore her pleas and turn her away, leaving her simply quarantined from the colony. On the bright side, we know that she is a proud one, and she vows to return no matter how high the stake is. That outcast is known simply as…)
"Grizabella, the Glamour Cat"
Grizabella
Remark the cat who hesitates toward you
In the light of the door which opens on her like a grin.
You see the border of her coat is torn and stained with sand,
And you see the corner of her eye twist like a crooked pin?
Demeter
She haunted many a low resort
Near the grimy road of Tottenham Court;
She flitted about the No Man's Land
From "The Rising Sun" to "The Friend at Hand."
Plus, the postman murmured, as he scratched his head:
"You'd really thought she ought to be dead
And who would ever suppose that
That was Grizabella, the glamour cat?"
Bombalurina
Grizabella, the glamour cat.
Demeter & Bombalurina
Grizabella, the glamour cat.
All
And who would ever suppose that
That was Grizabella, the glamour cat?
Jennyanydots
(After Grizabella leaves…)
Oh, pay no attention to her—it's time to meet the next cat!
(At last, Jemima's dream tour continues as she was taken by Jennyanydots to finally meet her husband…)
"Bustopher Jones: The Cat About Town"
Jennyanydots
Bustopher Jones is not skin and bones-
Bombalurina
In fact, he's remarkably fat.
Jellylorum
He doesn't haunt pubs-
Jennyanydots
He has eight or nine clubs,
Together
For he's the St. James's Street Cat!
Jennyanydots
He's the Cat we all greet as he walks down the street
In his coat of fastidious black:
Bombalurina
No commonplace mousers have such well-cut trousers
Jellylorum
Or such an impeccable back.
Jennyanydots
In the whole of St. James's, the smartest of names is
The name of this Brummell of Cats;
Together
And we're all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones in white spats!
All Males
In the whole of St. James's, the smartest of names is
The name of this Brummell of Cats;
And we're all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones in white spats!
Jennyanydots
Tell her about your clubs, dearie.
Bustopher Jones
My visits are occasional to the senior educational,
And it is against the rules
For any one cat to belong both to that,
And the Joint Superior Schools.
For a similar reason, when game is in season,
I'm found, not at Fox's, but Blimp's;
I am frequently seen at the gay Stage and Screen
Which is famous for winkles and shrimps.
In the season of venison, I give my benison
To the Pothunter's succulent bones;
And just before noon's not a moment too soon
To drop in for a drink at the Drones.
When I'm seen in a hurry there's probably curry
At the Siamese - or at the Glutton;
If I look full of gloom then I've lunched at the Tomb
On cabbage, rice pudding and mutton.
(During an instrumental break, the colony shows Jemima the food that Bustopher Jones dines on, one by one, and then lets out a big burp before being quickly forgiven after saying "Excuse me.")
All
In the whole of St. James's, the smartest of names is
The name of this Brummell of Cats;
And we're all of us proud to be nodded or bowed to
By Bustopher Jones in white…
Bustopher Jones in white…
Bustopher Jones in white spats!
Jennyanydots
So, much in this way, passes Bustopher's day-
At one club or another he's found.
It can be no surprise that under our eyes
He has grown unmistakably round.
He's a twenty-five pounder,
Bustopher Jones
For I am a bounder,
Jennyanydots
And he's putting on weight every day:
Bustopher Jones
Yet I'm so well preserved because I've observed
All my life a routine, and I'd say
That I'm still in my prime, for I shall last out my time
Jennyanydots
That's the word of this stoutest of cats
All
It must and it shall be Spring in Pall Mall
While Bustopher Jones wears white…
Bustopher Jones wears white…
Bustopher Jones wears white spats!
Bustopher Jones
Toodlepip!
Jemima
Toodlepip!
(Then instantaneously, a roar of police sirens ripped through the yard, which means there's only one enemy to the Jellicle colony who is on the loose!)
Demeter
MACAVITY!
(In fright of their enemy coming, every single Cat scatter to their dens, leaving Jemima to notice a flyer hanging on a fence. She pulls it off the fence and reads it.)
Jemima
"Police Notice – Macavity – Wanted: For Everything"
(As she examines it, she suddenly hears a cheeky giggle, followed by an abrupt 'shh!'. Who in the world is making that noise? Just then, a head of a curious cat pops up and surprises Jemima.
Yet, not one, but two curious cats appear from out of nowhere, carrying sacks of loot, and they begin celebrating their narrow escape from cops, only to be cut off by Jemima.)
Jemima
(Politely.)
Uh, who are you?
"Mungojerrie & Rumpleteazer"
Mungojerrie
Mungojerrie!
Rumpleteazer
And Rumpleteazer!
Both
We're a notorious couple of cats.
Rumpleteazer
As knockabout clown, quick-change comedians,
tight-rope walkers and acrobats
Mungojerrie
We have extensive reputation.
And made our home in Victoria Grove-
This is merely our center of operation,
Both
For they were incurably given to rove.
Rumpleteazer
If the area window was found ajar
And the basement looked like a field of war,
If a tile or two came loose on the roof,
Which presently ceased to be waterproof,
Mungojerrie
If the drawers were pulled out from the bedroom chests,
And you couldn't find one of your winter vests,
Or after supper one of the girls
Suddenly loses her Woolworth pearls:
Both
Then the family would say: "It's that horrible cat!
Mungojerrie
Or was it Mungojerrie…
Rumpleteazer
…or Rumpleteazer?"
Both
But most of the time, they'd leave it like that.
(Short ridiculous dance break!)
Mungojerrie
Mungojerrie…
Rumpleteazer
…and Rumpleteazer…
Both
…had a very unusual gift of the gab.
Rumpleteazer
We're highly efficient cat-burglars as well,
And remarkably smart at our "smash-n-grab".
Mungojerrie
We're very well known in Cornwall Gardens,
In Launceston Place, and in Kensington Square,
Though we had a little more reputation
Both
Than a couple of cats can very well bear.
Rumpleteazer
When the family's assembled for Sunday dinner,
Their minds were made up, so they wouldn't get thinner
On Argentine joint, potatoes and greens,
And the cook would appear from behind the scenes.
Mungojerrie
He might say in a voice which is broken with sorrow:
"I'm afraid you must wait and have dinner tomorrow!
For the joint was gone from the oven like that!"
Both
Then the family would say: "It's that horrible cat!
Mungojerrie
Or was it Mungojerrie…?
Rumpleteazer
…or Rumpleteazer?
Both
But most of the time, they'd leave it like that.
Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer
Had a wonderful way of working together.
Now, some of the time you would say it was luck,
And some of the time you would say it was weather.
We go through each house like a hurricane,
Yet no sober person could take his oath:
Mungojerrie
"Was it Mungojerrie…?
Rumpleteazer
…or Rumpleteazer?
Both
Or could you have sworn that it mightn't be both?"
And when you heard a dining-room smash
Or up from the pantry there came a loud crash
Or down from the library came a loud ping
From a vase which was commonly said to be Ming-
(Then they stop to realize their swag bags they were carrying home were gone. Who took them? Oh well, back into the action.)
Then the family would say: "Now which was which cat?"
Mungojerrie
It was Mungojerrie!
Rumpleteazer
And Rumpleteazer!
Both
And there's nothing at all to be done about that!
(All of a sudden, all of the Cats poured from their dens, with intimidating and scolding looks on their faces. They surround the calico twins in a circle, blocking any paths of escape. Furthermore, Munkustrap, and his henchman, Alonzo, upon having the twins' swag bags, toss them high over the junk pile. The twins, panicked, try to catch them, but the sacks disappear right out of sight.)
All
And there's nothing at all to be done about that!
Mungojerrie & Rumpleteazer
Those were our swag bags!
(Instantly faint in total confusion.)
(Overwhelmed, Jemima lets the Cats scold the duo, and then mimics this "Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer" duo by copying their ridiculous dance moves, only to notice a huge cat in a biblical-styled robe standing on a junk-hill fifty feet away from her and the Cats. Who could that be exactly?)
Jemima
Old…Deuteronomy…
"Old Deuteronomy"
(Munkustrap and the other cats notice Jemima staring at this old figure, until they realize Old Deuteronomy is coming too.)
Munkustrap
Old Deuteronomy!
Other Cats
Old Deuteronomy!
Mungojerrie & Rumpleteazer
(Wake up from their unconsciousness, and notice Old Deuteronomy also)
I believe it is old Deuteronomy!
(Unable to introduce more other Cats to Jemima for now, Munkustrap begins singing about their leader to her.)
Munkustrap
Old Deuteronomy's lived a long time;
He's the Cat who has lived many lives in succession.
He was famous in proverb and famous in rhyme
A long while before Queen Victoria's accession.
Rum Tum Tugger
Old Deuteronomy's buried nine wives
And more-I am tempted to say, ninety-nine;
And his numerous progeny prospers and thrives
And our colony's proud of him in his decline.
Munkustrap
At the sight of that placid and bland physiognomy,
When he sits in the sun on the vicarage wall,
The Oldest Inhabitant croaks:
Munkustrap & Rum Tum Tugger
"Well, of all things… Can it be really?
Yes…no…ho-heigh…oh, my eye!
My mind may be wandering, but I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy!"
(As Old Deuteronomy begins to move closer to the group, Tugger heads off to aid him, leaving Jemima and Munkustrap in a second verse.)
Jemima
Old Deuteronomy sits in the street,
He sits in the High Street on market day;
The bullocks may bellow, and sheep too may bleat,
But the sheepdogs and herdsmen would turn them away.
Munkustrap
The cars and the lorries run over the curb,
But we Jellicles put up a notice: "ROAD CLOSED"
So that nothing untoward may chance to disturb
Deuteronomy's rest when he feels so disposed.
Jemima
The digestive repose of that feline's gastronomy
Must never be broken, whatever befall:
And the Oldest Inhabitant croaks:
Jemima & Munkustrap
"Well, of all things… Can it be really?
Yes…no…ho-heigh…oh, my eye!
My mind may be wandering, but I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy!"
All
Well, of all things… Can it be really?
Yes…no…ho-heigh…oh, my eye!
My mind may be wandering, but I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy!
(Finally, Old Deuteronomy makes his grand entrance, welcomed by all his loyal subjects, a la Triumphal entry into Jerusalem.)
Well, of all things… Can it be really?
Yes…no…ho-heigh…oh, my eye!
My mind may be wandering, but I confess
I believe it is Old Deuteronomy!
Well, of all things… Can it be really?
Yes…no…ho-heigh…oh, my eye!
Old Deuteronomy
My legs may be tottery- I must go slow,
So be careful with Old Deuteronomy.
Munkustrap
Jellicle cats meet once a year
On the night we make the Jellicle choice;
Now that our Jellicle leader is here,
Jellicle cats can all…REJOICE!
(The Cats all burst into cheering like Israelites welcoming Jesus to Jerusalem.
Then, Munkustrap immediately puts them in places for a play he made up to entertain Old Deuteronomy.)
Munkustrap
Hurry! Make Ready! Remember what I told you to do!
(This play, narrated and directed by Munkustrap, is called…)
"The Awefull Battle of the Pekes and the Pollicles"
Munkustrap
Of the awefull battle of the Pekes and the Pollicles:
Together with some account of the participation of the Pugs and the Poms,
And the intervention of the GREAT RUMPUS CAT!
The Pekes and the Pollicles, everyone knows,
Are proud and implacable passionate foes;
It is always the same, wherever one goes.
And the Pugs and the Poms, although most people say
That they do not like fighting, yet once in a way,
They'd now and again join into the fray
While they…
Pekes
Bark!
Pollicles
Bark!
Pekes
Bark!
Pollicles
Bark!
Pekes
Bark!
Pollicles
Bark!
Pekes
Bark!
Pollicles
Bark!
Munkustrap
Until you can hear them all over the Park.
Now, on the occasion of which I shall speak
Almost nothing had happened for nearly a week
(And that's a long time for a Pol or a Peke).
The big Police Dog was away from his beat-
I don't know the reason, but most people think
He slipped into the Wellington Arms for a drink-
(The Rum Tum Tugger, playing the big police dog, drinks a bottle of root beer and gives a great belch.)
And no one at all was about on the street
When a Peke and a Pollicle happened to meet.
(Leaders of both dog packs, played by Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, enter with a faceoff, a la The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.)
They did not advance, nor they simply retreat,
But they glared at each other, and scraped their hind feet,
Then they started to…
Peke Leader
Bark!
Pollicle Leader
Bark!
Peke Leader
Bark!
Pollicle Leader
Bark! Bark!
Peke Leader
Bark!
Pollicle Leader
(What the-? Did I repeat that quote?)
Bark?
Peke Leader
(Same thing)
Bark?
Munkustrap
Until you can hear them all over the Park.
Yes, they…
Peke Leader
Bark!
Pollicle Leader
Bark!
Peke Leader
Bark!
Pollicle Leader
Bark! Bark- *gasp!*
(Immediately covers his mouth, realizing he stolen her line in the process.)
Peke Leader
(Frustrated now.)
Bark!
Munkustrap
Until you can hear them all over the Park.
Now the Peke, although people may say what they please,
Is no British Dog, but a Heathen Chinese.
And so all the Pekes, when they heard the uproar,
Some came to the window, some came to the door;
There was surely a dozen, more likely a score.
And together they started to grumble and wheeze
In their huffery-snuffery Heathen Chinese.
But a terrible din is what Pollicles like,
For your Pollicle Dog is a dour Yorkshire tyke,
(Then, a line of Pollicles march in over the following…)
Pollicles
We are all dogs from every nation,
The Irish, the Welsh and the Dane;
The Russian, the Dutch, the Dalmation,
And even from China and Spain;
The Poodle, the Pom, the Alsatian,
And the mastiff who walks on a chain.
Pollicle Leader
And to those that are frisky and frollical,
Let my meaning be perfectly plain
That my name is Little Tom Pollicle,
Pollicles
And you'd better not do it again.
Munkustrap
Now their braw Scottish cousins are snappers and biters,
And every dog-jack of them notable fighters;
And so they stepped out, with their pipers in order,
Playing "When the Blue Bonnets Came Over the Border".
(Instantly, the Rum Tum Tugger plays "Blue Bonnets Over the Border" on bagpipes, prompting everyone to start dancing the jig humorously.
Soon after, the story resumes.)
Munkustrap
Then the Pugs and the Poms held no longer aloof,
But some from the balcony, some from the roof,
Joined into the din with a…
Pekes
Bark!
Pollicles
Bark!
Pekes
Bark!
Pollicles
Bark!
Pekes
Bark!
Pollicles
Bark!
Pekes
Bark!
Pollicles
Bark!
Munkustrap
Until you can hear them all over the Park.
Pugs & Poms
Huffery-snuffery, huffery-snuffery
Huffery-snuffery, huffery-snuff
Munkustrap
Until you can hear them all over the Park.
(And now, we observe the clash as the two rival dog packs engage into a big fight as the big police dog scrambles to restrain the fighters for all he's worth.
Meanwhile, Munkustrap gives Jemima something to wear, a "Rumpus Cat" costume consisting of a black leather corset with shrug and a mask, indicating that it's time for her to play the big part.
And then…)
Munkustrap
NOW!
(Everyone freezes.)
…when these two factions have just soon assembled,
The traffic all stopped, and the underground trembled,
All
Hence some of the neighbors were so much afraid
That they started to ring up the fire brigade.
When suddenly, up from a small basement flat,
Why, who should stalk out but THE GREAT RUMPUS CAT?
(At Munkustrap's signal, the oven opens, and out comes Jemima as the Great Rumpus Cat wielding a bullwhip.)
Jemima
(as the Great Rumpus Cat.)
My eyes are like fireballs fearfully blazing,
I give a great yawn, and my jaws are amazing;
And when I look out through the bars of the area,
You never saw anything fiercer or hairier.
All
And what with the glare of his eyes and his yawning,
The Pekes and the Pollicles quickly took warning.
He looked at the sky and he gave a great leap-
(…and then BOOM! A perfect landing which sends all the dogs scampering away.)
Jemima
And then every last one of them scattered like sheep.
BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
All
All hail and all bow to the Great Rumpus Cat!
(BIG FINISH! All the cats pound their front paws rapidly on the ground as a form of applause to give Jemima their ovation.
During a curtain call, Jemima removes her mask before receiving a bouquet from Munkustrap.
After the curtain call, Old Deuteronomy decides to give his own moral to this story…)
Old Deuteronomy
Jellicle Cats and Dogs all must,
Pollicle Dogs and Cats all must,
Like undertakers, come to dust—
(But before Old Deuteronomy can finish his moral, another sound of thunder was heard like before, sounding from somewhere in the yard.)
Demeter
MACAVITY!
(Sure enough, Macavity himself was standing on top of the fence. One by one, the alarmed cats scatter into their dens to hide from their dangerous enemy.
While Munkustrap and Old Deuteronomy engage into a quick security sweep around their territory, Jemima takes a closer look to see if it's Macavity. It wasn't. It was just an old tennis racket. Jemima signals a gesture to Old Deuteronomy that it was a false alarm.)
Old Deuteronomy
Oh well - false alarm.
(Old Deuteronomy eventually summons Victoria to signal the rest of the Cats out of hiding. It's time for the Jellicle Ball to begin!)
"The Song of the Jellicles"
Old Deuteronomy
Jellicle Cats come out tonight,
Jellicle Cats come one come all:
Old Deuteronomy, Victoria, Jemima, & Munkustrap
The Jellicle Moon is shining bright-
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball.
Alonzo & Carbucketty
Jellicle Cats are black and white,
Jellicle Cats are rather small;
Jellicle Cats…
Alonzo
…are merry…
Carbucketty
…and bright,
Victoria & Jemima
And pleasant to hear when we caterwaul.
James
Jellicle Cats have cheerful faces,
Bill Bailey
Jellicle Cats have bright black eyes;
Quaxo
We like to practice their airs and graces
All
And wait for the Jellicle Moon to rise.
Alonzo, Munkustrap, & Admetus
Jellicle Cats develop slowly,
Bill Bailey
Jellicle Cats are not too big;
Peter
Jellicle Cats are roly-poly,
Quaxo & James
We know how to dance a gavotte and a jig.
Demeter
Until the Jellicle Moon appears
Bombalurina
We make their toilette and take our repose:
Jennyanydots
Jellicles wash behind their ears,
Jellylorum
Jellicles dry between their toes.
Coricopat & Tantomile
Jellicle Cats are white and black,
Mungojerrie & Rumpleteazer
Jellicle Cats are of moderate size;
George, James & Quaxo
Jellicles jump like a jumping-jack,
Cassandra
Jellicle Cats have moonlit eyes.
All
We're quiet enough in the morning hours,
We're quiet enough in the afternoon,
Munkustrap & Jemima
Reserving our terpsichorean powers
All
To dance by the light of the Jellicle Moon.
Bustopher Jones
Jellicle Cats are black…
Etcetera, Victoria, & Rumpleteazer
…and white,
George, James & Quaxo
Jellicle Cats, as we said, are small;
Alonzo, Munkustrap, & Admetus
If it happens to be a stormy night
George, James & Quaxo
We will practice a caper or two in the hall.
All
If it happens the sun is shining bright
Rum Tum Tugger
You would say they had nothing to do at all:
All
We are resting and saving ourselves to be right
For the Jellicle Moon and the Jellicle Ball.
Jellicle cats come out tonight,
Jellicle cats come one, come all:
The Jellicle moon is shining bright-
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball.
Jellicle cats come out tonight,
Jellicle cats come one, come all:
The Jellicle moon is shining bright-
Jellicles come to the Jellicle Ball.
"The Jellicle Ball"
(According to the musical created by Andrew Lloyd Webber in the early 1980s, The Jellicle Ball is an annual celebration which has gathered all the characters of the Jellicle colony together on this night. As the Cats celebrate in dance, Grizabella creeps into the shadows to watch.
Jemima takes part of the celebration, showing off her dance moves, until she meets one of the kittens who is the same human age as her, named Pouncival. She immediately bonds with him, and together, they perform a Pas de Deux, a la Clara and the Nutcracker Prince.
Suddenly, Munkustrap senses Grizabella's presence, and he sends his troops to get rid of this rubberneck while the rest of the Cats begin to dance again, even more spectacularly than before.
After this ultimate number, we find Grizabella making her way through a shortcut, wanting to rejoin her family and be a part of the celebration. In return, the Cats scorn her for interrupting the celebration, and almost immediately, they slink away, leaving Grizabella alone, apart from Old Deuteronomy and Jemima watching in the distance.
Alone, Grizabella begins to copy the colony's dance moves; she gets swept away as she dances, twirling around and laughing until she stumbles and presses her hand to her head when a vivid scar, which she received on her forehead, pains her. Trying to dance is painful, and alone, it is pointless for her.)
"Memory (Prelude)"
Grizabella
Silence—
Not a sound from the pavement...
Has the moon lost her memory?
Is she smiling alone?
In the lamplight, the withered leaves collect at my feet,
And the wind begins to moan.
Every street-lamp seems to beat
A fatalistic warning,
Someone mutters, and the street-lamp gutters,
And soon it will be morning.
Memory,
All alone in the moonlight,
I can smile at the old days,
I was beautiful then.
I remember, the time I knew what happiness was,
Let the memory live again…
(Rejected yet again, she turns to leave, but stops to notice someone is reaching out to her; Old Deuteronomy, who is extremely astonished by her voice instead of her dance, is reaching toward her from the far corner of the junkyard.
However, in return, Grizabella, who is also currently in her ugly state, spits at Old Deuteronomy and takes off, leaving a guilt-ridden Old Deuteronomy and a confused Jemima watching her go. As Old Deuteronomy exits in defeat, Jemima steps forward to sing to her...)
"Beautiful Ghosts"
Jemima
Follow me home if you dare to
You'll never know where I'll lead you
Should you take chances when no one gives chances but me?
So you watch from the dark, wait for your life to start
With no beauty in my memory
All that you wanted was to be wanted
Too ugly to wander these streets, alone and haunted
Born into nothing
At least you have something
Something to cling to
Visions of dazzling rooms you might not get let into
And the memories were lost long ago
But at least you have beautiful ghost
(Seeing Jemima taking pity on her, Grizabella begins singing the second verse)
Grizabella
Perilous night, their voices calling
A flicker of light before the dawning
Out here, the wild ones are taming the fear within me
Scared to call them my friends and be broken again
Is this hope just a mystical dream?
All that I wanted was to be wanted
Too ugly to wander these streets, alone and haunted
Born into nothing
At least I have something
Something to cling to
Visions of dazzling rooms I might not get let into
And the memories were lost long ago
But at least you have beautiful ghosts
And so maybe my home isn't what I had known
What I thought it would be
Jemima
But you feel so alive with these phantoms of night
And I know that your life isn't safe but it's wild and it's free
All that you wanted was to be wanted
You'll never wander London streets alone and haunted
Born into nothing
Grizabella
With you, I have something
Something to cling to
I never knew I'd love this world you'd let me into
And the memories were lost long ago
So I'll dance with these beautiful ghosts
Both
And the memories were lost long ago
So we'll dance with these beautiful ghosts
(After sharing a beautiful duo together with Jemima, Grizabella finally fades away back into the shadows, gesturing for Jemima that they will meet again someday. Meanwhile, the camera pans up to the night sky.)
Match Cut to:
Act 2 Int. The Junkyard – Night
(The camera pans back down to reveal that it's after the Jellicle Ball as all the cats rest, contemplating before they resume introducing more cats to Jemima. An old cat, named Gus, was also seen in the background, waiting to be introduced by his granddaughter, Jellylorum.
Old Deuteronomy enters with Jemima, and begins to inform them about the consequence of banishing Grizabella from the colony in…)
"The Moments of Happiness"
Old Deuteronomy
The moments of happiness…
We had the experience, but missed the meaning,
And approach to the meaning restores the experience
In a different form, beyond any meaning-
We can assign to happiness…
The past experience, revived in the meaning,
Is not the experience of one life only,
But of many generations - not forgetting
Something that is probably quite ineffable…
(Unfortunately, none of the Cats ever believe him, thinking he is overreacting about Grizabella.
Eventually, Old Deuteronomy channels his message through the mystical twins, Coricopat and Tantomile, all the way to Jemima, who then sings out the concept in far simpler language by using her hypnotically irresistible and operatic soprano similar to that of a little angel …)
Jemima
Moonlight, turn your face to the moonlight
Let your memory lead you
Open up, enter in
If you find there the meaning of what happiness is
Then a new life will begin
All
Moonlight, turn your face to the moonlight
Let your memory lead you
Open up, enter in
If you find there the meaning of what happiness is
Then a new life will begin
(Now the Cats begin to understand the consequence of banishing Grizabella from their colony. In fact, they reluctantly agree to let Grizabella get through and demand her reconciliation.
In the meantime, Jellylorum brings his grandfather forward to Jemima from the background.)
Old Deuteronomy
And now, young one, it is time for you to meet Gus, the Theatre Cat.
"Gus, the Theatre Cat"
Jellylorum
Gus is the Cat at the Theatre Door.
His name, as I ought to have told you before,
Is really Asparagus, though that's such a fuss
To pronounce, that we usually call him just Gus.
His coat's very shabby, he's thin as a rake,
And he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shake.
Yet he was, in his youth, quite the smartest of Cats-
But no longer a terror to mice and to rats.
For he isn't the Cat that he was in his prime;
Though his name was quite famous, which I'll say in his time.
And whenever he joins his friends at their club
(Which takes place at the back of the neighboring pub)
He loves to regale them, if someone else pays,
With anecdotes drawn from his palmiest days.
For he once was a Star of the highest degree-
He has acted with Irving, and he's acted with Tree.
And he likes to relate his success on the Halls,
Where the Gallery once gave him seven cat-calls.
But his grandest creation, as he loves to tell,
Was Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.
(Eventually, Gus, whose name is actually "Asparagus", begins to speak to Jemima.)
Asparagus
I have played, in my time, every possible part,
And I used to know seventy speeches by heart.
I'd extemporize back-chat, I knew how to gag,
And I knew how to let the cat out of the bag.
I knew how to act with my back and my tail;
With an hour of rehearsal, I never could fail.
I'd a voice that would soften the hardest of hearts,
Whether I took the lead, or in character parts.
I have sat by the bedside of poor Little Nell;
When the Curfew was rung, then I swung on the bell.
In the Pantomime season I never fell flat,
And I once understudied Dick Whittington's Cat.
But my grandest creation, as history will tell,
Was Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.
Jellylorum
Then, if someone will give him a toothful of gin,
He will tell how he once played a part in East Lynne.
At a Shakespeare performance he once walked on pat,
When some actor suggested the need for a cat.
Asparagus
And I'd say that these kittens, they never get trained
As I did in the days when Victoria reigned.
They never get drilled in a regular troupe,
And to think they are smart just to jump through a hoop.
Jellylorum
And he said, as he scratches himself with his claws,
Asparagus
"Well, the Theatre's certainly not what it was.
These modern productions are all very well,
But there's nothing to equal, from what I hear tell,
That moment of mystery
When I made history
As Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell."
Now, I once crossed the stage on a telegraph wire,
To rescue a child when a house was on fire.
And you'll say I still can, much better than most,
Produce blood-curdling noises to bring on the Ghost.
I also tell stories that are based on the plays,
And here's one I'll tell you in a special way…
(Asparagus then disappears in his blanket coat as we transition to…)
Transform to:
Int. The Theatre "Growltiger's Last Stand"
(As the whole scenery begins to transform from the junkyard to a theatre, in Asparagus's memory, Jemima finds a free seat in the front row. On the stage, the infamous pirate captain, named Growltiger, emerges from the coat.
When the painted curtain behind Growltiger rises, it reveals his galleon filled with his Raffish Crew sleeping on their job. The crew consists of Grumbuskin, Tumblebrutus, Humbert, Cornelius, Damson, and dim-little Butch.
With a powerful roar, Growltiger scatters the crew back to work. The Raffish Crew then sing a sea shanty about their captain over the following…)
Raffish Crew
GROWLTIGER was a Bravo Cat, who lived upon a barge;
In fact, he was the roughest cat that ever roamed at large.
From Gravesend up to Oxford he pursued his evil aims,
Rejoicing in his title of…
Growltiger
"The Terror of the Thames."
BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
(Growltiger then goes off, whipping the Raffish crew one by one to make them go faster every time they slack off by complaining over what they know about their captain.)
Grumbuskin
His manners and appearance did not calculate to please;
His coat was torn and seedy, he was baggy at the knees;
Tumblebrutus
One ear was somewhat missing, no need to tell you why,
And he scowled upon a hostile world from one forbidding eye.
Raffish Crew
The cottagers of Rotherhithe knew something of his fame,
At Hammersmith and Putney, people shuddered at his name.
They would fortify the hen-house, lock up the silly goose,
When the rumor ran along the shore:
Growltiger
"GROWLTIGER'S ON THE LOOSE!"
BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
Butch
Woe to the weak canary, that fluttered from its cage;
Damson
Woe to the pampered Pekinese that faced Growltiger's rage.
Cornelius
Woe to the bristly Bandicoot, that lurks on foreign ships,
Humbert
And woe to any Cat with whom Growltiger came to grips!
Raffish Crew
But most to Cats of foreign race, his hatred had been vowed;
To Cats of foreign name and race no quarter was allowed.
The Persian and the Siamese regarded him with fear-
Because it was a Siamese had mauled his missing ear.
(Sure enough, the Raffish crew burst into laughing as they ridicule their captain's manner and appearance, much to the annoyance of Growltiger, who promptly whips them all at once. Jemima giggles to that action in response.)
Growltiger
Get below, you swabs!
(And get below they did as the Raffish crew scurries below deck. Growltiger chuckles to himself after watching them go, until he hears his girlfriend, Griddlebone, calling in Italian language.)
Griddlebone (O.S.)
Chi e la?
Growltiger
(Calls back in Italian language.)
Mi amore!
Griddlebone
(Appears from a door near the front row where Jemima sits.)
Sono qui!
Now on a peaceful summer night, all nature seemed at play,
The tender moon was shining bright, the barge at Molesey lay.
All in the balmy moonlight it lay rocking on the tide-
And Growltiger was disposed to show his sentimental side.
(Griddlebone advances on stage, where we now observe her and Growltiger bonding together.)
Growltiger
In the forepeak of the vessel, I wasn't quite alone-
I was giving my attention to my lady, GRIDDLEBONE.
While my raffish crew lays sleeping in their barrels and their bunks-
Siamese
(Appear from the audience seats.)
As the Siamese came creeping in their sampans and their junks.
Griddlebone
Growltiger had no eye or ear for aught but Griddlebone,
Growltiger
And my Lady seemed enraptured by my manly baritone,
Both
Disposed to relaxation, and awaiting no surprise-
Siamese
(weapons drawn)
But the moonlight shone reflected from a thousand bright blue eyes.
(Advance onto the stage.)
And closer still and closer the sampans circled round,
And yet from all the enemy there was not heard a sound.
Now, the foe is armed with toasting forks and cruel carving knives,
So the lovers sang their last duet, in danger of their lives.
(On the contrary, the lovers' lives are not in danger—not just yet. They were just busy relaxing, and singing an Italian aria, "In Una Tepida Notte".)
Growltiger
In una tepida notte d'estate
Allorché la natura era nel pieno fulgor
E la fresca rugiada splendeva al chiar di luna
Sopra la verzura
Si poteva vedere il gallione ancorato
In una tepida notte
Abbiamo trovato l'amore
Griddlebone
In una tepida notte d'estate
Allorché la natura era nel pieno fulgor
E la fresca rugiada splendeva al chiar di luna
Sopra la verzura
Si poteva vedere il gallione ancorato
In una tepida notte
Abbiamo trovato l'amore
Both
In una tepida notte
Abbiamo trovato l'amore
(BIG FINISH! Applause was heard from the theatre audience. Jemima too applauds, and tosses a rose to this operatic couple for their wonderful duet. Unfortunately, the applause dies out when we hear the sound a flare gun ringing out.
Over the following, Growltiger and Griddlebone soon start to freak out over who is creating a diversion.)
Griddlebone
Cos'è stato? Credo di aver sentito qualcosa!
Growltiger
C'è un invasore a bordo della mia nave che crea un diversivo?
Both
O mio Dio — IL SIAMESE!
(Sure enough, Genghis, the leader of the Siamese navy, then appears behind them. Now the lovers are in are in big trouble as then turn to face the Siamese's fierce leader!)
Genghis
Then Genghis gave his signal to his fierce Mongolian horde;
With a frightful burst of fireworks, the Siamese swarmed aboard.
Abandoning their sampans, their pullaways and their junks,
They battened down the hatches on the crew within their bunks.
(Sure enough, the Siamese attack Growltiger's galleon from inside, scaring the entire Raffish crew overboard. Growltiger scrambles to try and restrain his crew over the following, attempting to get them to fight the Siamese.)
Raffish Crew
(Frenzied panic!)
Ahhhh! / The Siamese! / How did they get here?! / No one is safe! / They'll kill us all! / Abandon ship! / I wanna go home right now! / Ahhooooahhh! / etc.
Growltiger
Come back, you cowards!
Griddlebone
(Also finding herself surrounded.)
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Genghis
Then Griddlebone instantly screamed, for she was badly skeered;
I'm sorry to admit it, but she quickly disappeared.
Growltiger
(After Griddlebone too abandons ship; relieved after watching his love escape.)
She actually escaped with ease—I'm glad she hasn't drowned-
Siamese
But a serried ring of flashing steel Growltiger did surround.
Genghis
Seize him, boys!
(Immediately, the Siamese roughly grab hold of Growltiger, pushing him down to his knees. Genghis then draws his sword, ready to behead Growltiger. But somehow, the pirate captain manages to break free from his bonds, and then, an intense sword fight ensues.
Having pinning Genghis right where he wants him, Growltiger was about to make his finishing blow, but Genghis turns the tables with the help of his crew, who stab him in the back altogether with their toasting forks. Jemima reacts in shock. Now, Growltiger is about to face his doom as the Siamese grab him again.)
Siamese
The ruthless foe pressed forward, in stubborn rank on rank;
Growltiger to his vast surprise is forced to walk the plank.
Growltiger
(his last word)
What?!
(And over the following, Growltiger is shoved over to the plank behind a large scrim. There, Genghis waits for him, ready to execute the pirate captain.)
Siamese
He who a hundred victims had driven to that drop
At the end of all his crimes was forced to go ker-flip, ker-flop.
(At the climax of Growltiger's end, Genghis finally slices his head off, leaving Growltiger's body dropping into the sea, much to Jemima's horror.
The painted curtain closes down behind the stage as the Siamese gather one last time for the final chorus.)
Siamese
Oh, there was joy in Wapping when the news flew through the land;
At Maidenhead and Henley there was dancing on the strand.
Rats were roasted at Brentford, and at Victoria Dock,
And a day of celebration has commenced in Bangkok.
(The clanging sound of clocks chime vibrate all over the background, but it gradually becomes quieter as Asparagus's memory fades away, as we transition back to…)
Transform back to:
Int. The Junkyard – Night
(As the rest of the Siamese fade away, Genghis remains as he takes Jemima back to the Junkyard, giving a respectful bow to Asparagus and other Cats before finally fading away himself. Then, Asparagus sings his moral of "Growltiger's Last Stand" to Jemima.)
Asparagus
Although his dark career
Sometimes involves the crime of stealing,
He rather think that he's
Not altogether void of feeling.
Although he lives by strife,
He's always sorry to begin it,
For what, he asks, is life
Without a touch of poetry in it?
Everyone
(kneeling)
Hail, Poetry, thou heav'n-born maid!
Thou gildest e'en the pirate's trade.
Hail, flowing fount of sentiment!
All hail! All hail! Divine emollient!
(Jemima is pleased to experience this story from Asparagus's memory, and she gives him a big hug for telling her his story of how he played Growltiger in a special way.
Soon after, we find a ginger tabby wearing a brown vest sleeping in a corner of the junkyard. This lazy tabby's name is…)
"Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat"
Old Deuteronomy
Next stop…
Skimbleshanks:
Jemima & Asparagus
The Railway Cat!
All
The Cat of the Railway Train!
There's a whisper down the line at 11:39
When the Night Mail's ready to depart,
Saying "Skimble! Where is Skimble?
(They wake up Skimble.)
Has he gone to hunt the thimble?
We must find him or the train can't start."
Skimbleshanks
(Scottish accent; now awake!)
All the guards, and all the porters, and the stationmaster's daughters
Were all searching high and low,
Saying "Skimble? Where is Skimble? For unless he's very nimble
Then the Night Mail just can't go."
At 11:42, the signal was nearly due
As the passengers get frantic to a man-
That's when I shall appear as I saunter to the rear:
I was busy in the luggage van!
All
Then he gave one flash of his glass-green eyes
And the signal went "All Clear!"
Skimbleshanks
Now we're off at last for the northern part
Of the Northern Hemisphere!
All
Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat!
The Cat of the Railway Train!
Skimbleshanks
You may say that, by and large, it is Skimble who's in charge
Of the Sleeping Car Express.
From the driver and the guards to the bagmen playing cards
I can supervise them all, more or less.
All
Down the corridor he paces and examines all the faces
Of the travelers in the First and the Third;
He establishes control by a regular patrol
And he'd know at once if anything occurred.
He will watch you without winking and he sees what you are thinking
And it's certain that he doesn't approve
Of hilarity and riot, so the folks are very quiet
When Skimble is about and on the move.
You can play no pranks with Skimbleshanks!
He's a Cat that cannot be ignored;
So, nothing goes wrong on the Northern Mail
When Skimbleshanks is aboard.
Skimbleshanks
Aye, 'tis all about the Sleeping Car, as ye can plainly see!
It was very pleasant when you find your little den
With your name written up on the door.
And the berth is very neat with a newly folded sheet
And there's not a speck of dust on the floor.
There is every sort of light—you can make it dark or bright;
And a handle you can turn to make a breeze.
Plus, a funny little basin you're supposed to wash your face in
And a crank to shut the window if you sneeze.
Bustopher Jones
Ah-choo!
Skimbleshanks
Then the guard looks in politely and will ask you very brightly
"Do you like your morning tea…?
Jemima
…weak or strong?"
Skimbleshanks
But I was just behind him and about to remind him
That Skimble won't let anything go wrong.
All
When you creep into your cozy berth
And pull up the counterpane,
You ought to reflect that it's very nice
To know that you won't be bothered by mice-
For you can leave all that to the Skimbleshanks,
The Cat of the Railway Train!
(They then collect bits and pieces of junk and assemble them into the shape of a train engine over the following…)
Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat!
The Cat of the Railway Train!
Skimbleshanks: The Railway Cat!
The Cat of the Railway Train!
Skimbleshanks
In the watches of the night, I was always fresh and bright;
Every now and then I'd have a cup of tea
With perhaps a drop of Scotch while I'm keeping on the watch,
Only stopping here and there to catch a flea.
You lay fast asleep at Crewe, but until then, you never knew
That I was walking up and down the station;
When you're sleeping all the while, I was busy at Carlisle,
Where I greet the stationmaster with elation.
You can see me at Dumfries where I'd summon the police
If there's anything I ought to know about:
All
When you get to Gallowgate, you will never have to wait-
For Skimbleshanks will help you to get out!
(But unfortunately, just before Skimble can present his masterpiece to Jemima, the train falls apart as the Cats lose coordination and concentration. But with a laugh and a shrug, Skimble moves on.)
All
Then he'll give you a wave of his long brown tail
Which says: "I'll see you again!
You'll meet without fail on the Midnight Mail
With the Cat of the Railway Train."
(Short dance break!)
You'll meet without fail on the Midnight Mail
With the Cat of the Railway…
(All of a sudden, the song was cut off by a thunderous crash so loud it was hard for Skimble's number to finish. Everyone halts in their tracks; their eyes search around frantically for danger. Then, from out of nowhere, a booming sound of an evil, menacing laugh was heard. Can it be?)
Demeter
MACAVITY!
(Sure enough, all the Cats get into a panic. Munkustrap was not too far away – he, along with Jemima and Old Deuteronomy, was ushering cats to calm them down from panicking, but not quick enough.
Soon, Macavity himself lurched down from the up-top and landed neatly in the center of the yard, followed by two of his hench-cats.)
Macavity
Take him!
(The hench-cats throw a net over Old Deuteronomy and take off with him in tow.)
Macavity
I'll be back for you, my dear Demeter!
(As Macavity too takes off, Munkustrap and his troops chase after him, leaving all the females behind to panic even more, except for Demeter, who begins to explain to Jemima what she knows about…)
"Macavity: The Mystery Cat"
Demeter
Macavity's a Mystery Cat: he's called the Hidden Paw-
For he's the master criminal who can defy the Law.
He's the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad's despair:
For when they reach the scene of crime-Macavity's not there!
Macavity, Macavity, there's no on like Macavity,
He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity.
His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,
And when you reach the scene of crime-Macavity's not there!
You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air-
But I tell you once and once again, Macavity's not there!
(Instantly, her sister, Bombalurina, also joins in this conversation.)
Bombalurina
Macavity's a ginger cat, he's very tall and thin;
You would know him if you saw him, for his eyes are sunken in.
His brow is deeply lined with thought, his head is highly doomed;
His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed.
He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a snake;
And when you think he's half asleep, he's always wide awake.
Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
For he's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity.
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square-
But when a crime's discovered, then Macavity's not there!
Demeter
He's outwardly respectable.
Bombalurina
They say he cheats at cards.
Demeter
And his footprints are not found in any file of Scotland Yard's.
Bombalurina
And when the larder's looted,
Demeter
Or the jewel-case is rifled,
Bombalurina
Or when the milk is missing,
Demeter
Or another Peke's been stifled,
Bombalurina
Or the greenhouse glass is broken,
Demeter
And the trellis beyond repair-
Demeter & Bombalurina
There's the wonder of one thing! Macavity's not there!
Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macacity,
There never was a Cat of such deceitfulness and suavity.
He always has an alibi, or two or three to spare:
And whatever time the deed took place-MACAVITY WASN'T THERE!
And they say that all the Cats whose wicked deeds are widely known
Demeter
(I might mention Growltiger,
Bombalurina
I might mention Griddlebone)
Demeter & Bombalurina
Are nothing more than agents for the Cat who all the time
Just controls their operations: the Napoleon of Crime!
(Eventually, all the female Cats, including Jemima herself, join in the singing about Macavity.)
All Females
Macavity, Macavity, there's no one like Macavity,
He's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity.
You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square-
But when a crime's discovered, then…
Macavity…Macavity…Macavity…Macavity…
Demeter & Bombalurina
When a crime's discovered, then…
Jemima
Macavity's not there!
(After this bizarre number, Munkustrap and his men return from their failed chase, with Macavity mocking them for not catching up with him. Without Old Deuteronomy, no cat will be chosen to be reborn on the Heaviside Layer. All the Cats now seem to realize all is lost until Old Deuteronomy, who seem to have miraculously freed himself from Macavity's henchmen, reappears and reunites with the other cats.
Everyone is relieved to see him return, except Jemima, who senses that something is not right. She thinks it was Macavity in disguise, attempting to trick the Cats in an effort to abduct Demeter for marriage and become the new patriarch of the Jellicle colony, which is his master plan. She goes to investigate but was held back by Munkustrap's troops. Eventually, she went for it anyway, and literally blows Macavity's cover in front of everybody.)
All
MACAVITY!
(Realizing his cover blown, Macavity flies into total rage, and then holds Jemima hostage, ready to turn the little girl's dream into a nightmare, until Alonzo rescues her, allowing Munkustrap to hold Macavity off for all he's worth.
Under the following, Munkustrap attempts to fight the answer out of Macavity, but when he is overpowered, Alonzo steps into the fight, followed by many other Cats. Though the confused Macavity holds his own for a time, the rest of the colony begins to gang up and surround him.
Until defeated, Macavity, however, shorts out the lights using a nearby generator as an attempt to escape the confusion, leaving everyone in the dark. When the smoke clears, Macavity is gone.
In response to this action, Jemima quickly grabs the emergency light and ensures no one is injured.)
All
Macavity's not there!
(After Macavity has been fought off by the colony, they are left, in the dark, with a disaster - and now there's no way they can find Old Deuteronomy all because of Macavity.)
All
Please help us find Old Deuteronomy.
(Jemima understands their feels, and agrees to help, but luckily, the Rum Tum Tugger knows someone else who can bring Old Deuteronomy back for the whole colony—he thinks this looks like a job for…)
"Magical Mr. Mistoffelees"
Rum Tum Tugger
My fair lady…
You ought to ask a friend of mine, named Mr. Mistoffelees-
He's the Original Conjuring Cat
(There can be no doubt about that).
Please listen to me and don't scoff.
All his Inventions are off his own bat.
You see, there's no such Cat in the metropolis;
For he holds all the patent monopolies
For performing surprising illusions
And creating eccentric confusions.
The greatest magicians have something to learn
From Mr. Mistoffelees' Conjuring Turn.
Girl, you'll then say:
"Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?"
(Immediately, Jemima, Munkustrap, and the rest of the colony eagerly gather to hear Tugger's story about Mr. Mistoffelees, as if they were attending one of his recent concerts.)
Rum Tum Tugger
He is quiet and small, he is black
From his ears to the tip of his tail;
He can creep through the tiniest crack,
He can walk on the narrowest rail.
He can pick any card from a pack,
He is equally cunning with dice;
He is always deceiving you into believing
That he's only hunting for mice.
He can play any trick with a cork
Or a spoon and a bit of fish-paste;
If you look for a knife or a fork
And you think it is merely misplaced-
You have seen it one moment, and then it is gone!
But you'll find it next week lying out on the lawn.
(Everyone beholds as Mr. Mistoffelees descends on a wire that lowers him to the center of the yard.)
Rum Tum Tugger
Then you'll soon say:
"Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?"
Mr. Mistoffelees
(Restores all the lights.)
Presto!
All
Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Rum Tum Tugger
His manner is vague and aloof,
You would think there was nobody shyer-
Yet his voice was heard on the roof
When he was curled up by the fire.
And he's sometimes been heard by the fire
When he was about on the roof-
(At least we all heard that somebody purred)
Which is incontestable proof
Of his singular magical powers:
And I have known the family to call
Him in from the garden for hours,
While he was asleep in the hall.
And not long ago this phenomenal Cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!
And we all say:
All
Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
(All eyes are on Mr. Mistoffelees, who stands on the spotlight and performs the most difficult choreography dreamers like Jemima has never seen before, including 24 fouettés en tournant.)
Jemima & Rum Tum Tugger
Magical!
(Now was the time, thought Mr. Mistoffelees. Enough play—now is the time to get down to the job at hand. He goes over to the trunk of the car and pulls out a big red blanket.)
Rum Tum Tugger
And not long ago this phenomenal Cat
Produced seven kittens right out of a hat!
(Now, Mr. Mistoffelees needs another cat to disappear so he can bring Old Deuteronomy back. He looks around at all the cats, who were waving their paws in the air, begging to be chosen. Eventually, he chooses Jemima, who gives thumbs up to Munkustrap with a wink.
Throwing the blanket on top of Jemima, Mr. Mistoffelees concentrated and moved the blanket around. He felt a huge surge of magic as if he found the colony patriarch, and pulling the blanket off, Old Deuteronomy is revealed and safely returned home.
Everyone cheers in reaction to their leader's return over the following…)
Old Deuteronomy
Well, I say…
Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Thank you!
All
Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Oh! Well, I never!
Was there ever a cat so clever as
Magical Mr. Mistoffelees?
Rum Tum Tugger
Ladies and gentlecats, I give you…the magical, the marvelous…Mr. Mistoffelees!
(With his work all done, Mr. Mistoffelees gives his bow to everyone, who hail him as their emancipator, and then, he disappears into thin air.
With Old Deuteronomy back, the whole colony group hugs, but were cut off by Jemima, who breaks the news that the moon is starting to set, meaning that dawn is coming.)
"Daylight"
Jemima
Daylight,
See the dew on a sunflower,
And a rose that is fading-
Roses wither away.
Like the sunflower,
We yearn to turn our eyes to the dawn.
We've been waiting,
For this day.
(With the news sent from Jemima, Munkustrap now makes the announcement of the Jellicle Choice.)
Munkustrap
Now the time has come, just before dawn,
Through a silence you'd feel you could cut with a knife,
To announce the cat who can now be reborn
And come back to a different Jellicle Life.
So Jellicles ask, because Jellicles dare:
"Who will it be?"
Other Cats
Who will it be?
(At that moment, before the patriarch can commence, Grizabella reappears and politely interrupts this moment of truth. Although the Cats were less hostile to her than before, they reluctantly let her pass so she can see Old Deuteronomy. This is Grizabella's last chance to redeem herself of her crime.)
"Memory"
Grizabella
Memory
Turn your face to the moonlight
Let your memory lead you
Open up enter in
If you find then the meaning of what happiness is
Then a new life will begin
Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again
Burnt out ends of smoky days
The stale cold smell of morning
The streetlamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning
Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I mustn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
So a new day will begin…
(During an instrumental break, we go into Grizabella's memory through images of her past:
Ever since Grizabella was young, she was presented a gorgeous sequined gown, a symbol of Old Deuteronomy's preference for her, which makes other Cats jealous of her. It is clear from Grizabella's dreams that she is destined to take Old Deuteronomy's place as a matriarch of the Jellicle colony.
To get rid of her and prevent her dreams from coming true, the cats form an angry mob to rape Grizabella, but then they sell her to some passing goons to Macavity, who imprisons and physically abuses her, and making her his scullery maid. This is how Grizabella gets her scar.
Eventually, homesickness allowed an adult Grizabella to escape from Macavity and return home, begging for reconciliation in confession of all the things she did wrong in the past ever since she was young.)
Grizabella
Sunlight through the trees in summer
Endless masquerading
Like a flower, as the day is breaking
The memory is fading
Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is
Look -
A new day has begun!
(At last, Grizabella has finished confessing. Did it work? At first, all the Cats, except Old Deuteronomy and Jemima, were dumbfounded, but they are confused about why she come to confess until Jemima bravely touches her by taking her by the hand for all she's worth, telling them that everything is all right, for she is already forgiven of her sins.
Now satisfied by her plight, the Cats repent for what they did to her, and they welcome her back into the colony, and furthermore, after her reconciliation is a grand success, Grizabella is chosen to journey to the Heaviside Layer to start a new and better life.
Old Deuteronomy and Jemima take Grizabella by the hand and, as the other Cats follow behind them, leads her onto the tire over the following…)
"The Journey to the Heaviside Layer"
All
Up, up, up past the Russell Hotel,
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer.
Up, up, up past the Jellicle Moon,
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer.
Up, up, up past the Russell Hotel,
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer.
Up, up, up past the Jellicle Moon,
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer.
Up, up, up past the Russell Hotel,
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer.
Up, up, up past the Jellicle Moon,
Up, up, up, up to the Heaviside Layer.
(Also over the following, the tire then rises from the piles of junk, carrying Jemima, Grizabella and Old Deuteronomy partway toward the night sky.
Before Grizabella can begin her journey, Old Deuteronomy blesses her with a sign of redemption before allowing her to access through a staircase to the Heaviside Layer. The Cats all wave goodbye to Grizabella over the following…)
All
The mystical divinity of unashamed felinity
Round the cathedral, rang "Vivat!"
Life to the everlasting cat!
(After Grizabella entered the Heaviside Layer, the whole colony praises Jemima as the good Samaritan for the right things she did for her. Meanwhile, Old Deuteronomy talks to Jemima for a moment with a conclusion of her dream about…)
"The Ad-Dressing of Cats"
Old Deuteronomy
You've met of several kinds of Cat,
And my opinion now is that;
You should need no interpreter
To understand our character.
You've learned enough to take the view,
That Cats are very much like you.
You've seen us both at work and games,
And learned about our proper names,
Our habits, and our habitat,
But how would you address a Cat?
So first, your memory I'll jog,
And say: A CAT IS NOT A DOG.
Other Cats
So first, your memory I'll jog,
And say: A CAT IS NOT A DOG.
Old Deuteronomy
With cats, some say, one rule is true:
"Don't speak till you are spoken to."
Myself, I do not hold with that-
I say, "You should address a cat.
But always keep in mind that he
Resents familiarity."
You bow while taking off your hat,
Address him in this form, "O Cat."
Before a cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend,
Some little token of esteem
Is needed like, a dish of cream,
And you might now and then supply
Some caviar, or Strasbourg pie,
Some potted grouse, or salmon paste-
He's sure to have his personal taste.
And so, in time, you'll reach your aim,
And call him by his NAME!
Other Cats
A Cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect.
So this is this, and that is that:
And that's how you AD-DRESS A CAT!
All
A Cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect.
So this is this, and that is that:
And that's how you AD-DRESS A CAT!
(As the song reaches its end, we see the sun rising from the landscape; it shines, causing an instant white screen which signals the end of the little girl's dream as we transition back to…)
Fade (in white) to:
Int. Little Girl's Bedroom – Morning
(The alarm clock goes off, until the little girl turns it off. She yawns and stretches until she realizes what an incredible dream she had.)
Little Girl
Meow!
Mother (O.S.)
(Calling from the kitchen.)
Jemima, breakfast time!
Little Girl
Coming, mom!
(To Munkustrap.)
Great sleep together. Eh, Munkustrap?
(After petting her cat, the little girl takes off out of her room and into the kitchen to get her breakfast. Meanwhile, Munkustrap turns to the camera and gives a wink, and then, the film ends.)
Circle out:
The End