Storming the Sand Castle

"Come with me."

"Why?"

The real question was why he even bothered to ask. Serenade's only response was a sly look, a knowing smile and a mischievous glint in their eyes.

With a sound of disgust, Forte went along. He made a point to express his annoyance, from the sour face to the tense body language to the huffs and groans. Still, he did follow despite all the fuss, figuring there was a fifty-fifty chance Serenade would get into something interesting.

The gamble did not pay off.

Serenade had brought him to meet their adopted family. They'd explained the situation— although it took a few tries, because Forte would cover his audio receptors and growl over Serenade, or disconnect from the broadcast communication network, or just physically bail out on them.

He'd gotten the gist of it, though. Serenade had adopted the young Kimie Shiraizumi, who grew up, got married, and started her own family. Her son, Mamoru Urakawa, was something like a nephew or little brother to the mernavi. What Forte couldn't understand is why Serenade continued to be a part of the family, given that Kimie no longer required their support.

(When Kalinka and then her children and grandchildren were his last tie to Mikhail Cossack, then he would get it.)

Mamoru was waiting for them on the beach. Forte stayed back in the ocean while Serenade went out onto the sand. Mernavis could slither around on land sufficiently enough, but there was no grace. It was difficult and awkward. It was irritating enough watching a powerful navi like Serenade lower themself like that…

To make matters worse, Mamoru was the embodiment of everything Forte hated about humans and navi. Where Serenade saw courage in the face of extraordinary difficulties, the resolve, the strength and will of a child who had looked death in the eye and said 'not today'… Forte saw weakness, a pitiful existence, coddled by a civilization that bred frailty and impotence.

Uncaring, cruel nature weeded out those who weren't strong enough.

Never mind that the very same civilization had saved Forte's own life, or that Mamoru couldn't help the congenital heart condition any more than Forte could have helped the typhoon.

He lurked in the waves and watched as Serenade sat next to the boy, chatting about whatever. Whatever. It's not like he was curious or anything, or needed the reassurance of seeing another mixed navi and human pod, or cared in the slightest.

Serenade chuckled dryly when Forte gave up and pinged them over broadcast com.

"What are you doing out there? It's taking forever!"

"Why don't you get your tail over here and find out?" They left the broadcast on speaker and used English for Mamoru's sake, although Forte spoke in their native language.

"[No. Ugh! Why are you wasting your time with this pathetic two-legged thing…!]"

"Now, now, be nice."

"[Come on Serenade! You've been with that digi-barnacle long enough. Let's go.]"

Mamoru frowned slightly in concentration.

He had a strong interest in mernavis— and no wonder, as Serenade had always been a part of his life— and expressed an interest in being an interpreter when he grew up. What sort of ten year old dreams of being that, and not a firefighter or an astronaut?

Serenade had gladly started teaching Mamoru some of the major navi languages, starting with Low Pacifian. Since children pick up new languages fairly quickly, he was able to understand much of what was said… most of the time.

He wasn't exactly fluent yet, however, and Forte's accent made him squint as he tried to work out the words.

"They sound funny," Mamoru said. It was an observation, given without malicious intent.

Still, Forte didn't take it well.

"[What did he say!?]"

Serenade ignored him, keeping their attention on the child. "Yes, he does." Then, with an expression that was nothing short of devious, they asked, "Would you like to learn another word today?"

Mamoru perked up. "Okay…"

They told him Forte's name in Pacifian.

Fooling with the text-to-speech program on his personal terminal, Mamoru repeated it back.

"Good, close, but listen carefully," and then Serenade said Forte's name again.

"What's it mean?"

"It means 'imbecile'." They were teasing, of course, pushing the other navi's buttons after he'd been such a pill. "A literal translation—"

"[Serenade! That does it!]" Forte seethed over the broadcast.

"—would be 'a head full of jellyfish'. As you know, jellyfish are simple creatures, without a nervous system—"

"[You're dead!]"

"—nor a brain."

Moments later Forte burst out from the waves onto the beach. He fired in Serenade's direction, but it was a warning shot and intentionally missed, sand exploding everywhere and leaving a deep ashy pit where the blast landed. Serenade lunged, grabbing Forte's cannon and twisting his arm to the side. "Fire that again and you lose it."

What followed was nothing short of pure buffoonery. Both navi were accomplished fighters… in the ocean. On land, where they were graceless and it was difficult and awkward to move around, the two writhed and flailed and rolled across the beach. There was punching, shoving, biting, hitting each other with their tails. Forte yanked on Serenade's streamers, Serenade grabbed Forte's crest and jabbed him in the eye. Although both fought with zeal, neither was trying to truly hurt the other— just rough them up a bit.

With a quiet dignity that did not befit the occasion, Mamoru sat in his wheelchair and watched the free entertainment of two idiots pummeling each other.

Ultimately Serenade was stronger, quicker, and more skilled. Forte was a sore loser, hissing and grumbling as he made a panting sound, attempting to run air through his systems to cool off, something which might've worked if he hadn't been fighting.

"Yield!" Serenade told him, keeping him pinned for another minute. Forte made no verbal acknowledgment, but after a few moments of silently glowering, he acquiesced just to make them get off him. Which they did… but kept him restrained with an armlock just in case. "Since you already came out onto the beach, you should say hello to Mamoru before you leave."

"Hi, Forte!" Mamoru waved, not the least bit surprised by Serenade's victory.

"[No,]" Forte said.

"Be polite!"

"[No, thank you.]"

Serenade idly thumped his head into the sand. "You yielded."

Seeing that Serenade wasn't about to let him go when he really wanted to get out of the armlock, Forte heaved out a deep sigh of exasperation.

"'Hello Mamoru'," Forte said, scowling. "[Now let me go, you brute!]"

How Serenade was the brute when Forte was the one who'd attacked, they didn't even bother to ask. They let go.

After the sulking navi dragged himself back into the ocean, Mamoru looked questioningly at Serenade.

"That guy's supposed to be your friend?"

Serenade shrugged. "He's an acquired taste."

Bonus Omake

True Facts About the Humans (According to Forte)

"Humans live on land, which is vastly inferior to the ocean. 71% of the Earth's surface is covered by water, so evolving for land habitats is both stupid and wildly inefficient."

"They travel by walking on two legs that can barely support them, hampered by gravity, which is such a clunky and slow method of transport that they had to invent machines to cart around their gross bodies. Compared to swimming, they are way behind."

"Their bodies are weak and flabby. They do not have any armor like a mernavi. They do not have insulating blubber like a whale. They do not have [-untranslatable-] skin like a shark. They cover their vulnerable bodies with decorative material that does not protect them. They have no built-in weapons or defenses. Even their fangs are laughable."

"Air is dry so they are dry, it's disgusting. Also they smell weird."

"Their eyesight is poor and their echolocation is weak. Their hearing is very good, because sound travels better in air than in water. In spite of that, they are limited in their ability to communicate. The human brain is too simple to understand mernavi language."

"Humans have developed some technology but it is unbelievably primitive compared to mernavi. They are organic, not cybernetic, so all their technology is just a cheap rip-off of ours."

"They produce a vast amount of inferior and stupid entertainment. It appeals to idiots like Rockman and his doofus brother Netto."

"Anyway, those are the main points."

—

Forte got an 'F' on this report, but more than anything he was confused how this even happened, because he's too cool for fish school and doesn't go. Is this some elaborate prank by Netto? (Yes.)

A/N: This was a response to the question "How much does Forte know about humans?" which Sura answered earnestly and I piggybacked with this goofiness. Silly Forte, sound travels better in water!