It started in first grade. It was their class's Valentine's Day party, and everyone was supposed to bring in little cards or candies to place in everyone's homemade boxes. Afterwards, they all got to sit with their friends and eat their candy before going out to an early recess.
"Hey, Ally, what did Austin write on your valentine?" her best friend Trish had asked, giggling and glancing over at the popular blonde boy. "He said I'm cool."
Ally had looked through all her valentines, and then frowned. "I don't think he gave me one." She didn't care that much, but Trish was not having it.
"He didn't?!" she had exclaimed.
"I don't see one," Ally had replied with a shrug. "It's not a big deal."
Trish apparently thought otherwise, because she stood up and marched over to the teacher, who had then called Austin over to her desk. When he trudged over to the arts and crafts table to grab some scissors, paper, and markers before sitting back with his friends, Ally thought that was the end of it. But as they got in line for recess, Austin had shoved a crudely-cut red paper heart in her hands.
"What's it say?!" Trish had squealed when they got outside.
Ally looked down and tried to sound out the words Austin had misspelled. "Roses are red, violets are blue…" she read slowly. "Your breath smells like pickles, and your hair is dumb."
Trish had frowned and started to say something, but Ally marched away before she got the chance. She walked right onto the field where Austin was playing soccer with his friends and shoved the card back in his face.
"This doesn't even rhyme," she told him.
"That's what you get for being a tattle-tale," he said, pushing her arm away and trying to get back to his game.
"I didn't tell on you, Trish did! I don't care that you didn't give me a valentine. I don't even want a valentine from you."
"Whatever you say, Pickle-Breath."
"Don't call me that!"
And so their rivalry (and the nickname) was born.
He's gotten her a ridiculous Valentine's Day gift every year since that first-grade misunderstanding. The worst has been the few times she's had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day, when she's had to explain Austin's dumb grudge. She's also had to endure the confusion and glares whenever he's had a girlfriend on Valentine's Day.
The gifts have gotten worse and worse each year, and they've also gotten more elaborate, but that's a more recent development.
In seventh grade, he gave her another red heart, but instead of a not-rhyming poem inside, it had a drawing of a penis in blue Sharpie. ("Real mature," she had told him. "I bet you don't even know what it is," he had giggled.)
Sophomore year, he gave fifty bucks (fifty U.S. dollars!) to the girl whose locker was next to Ally's to figure out her locker combination and give it to him so he could leave her gift in her locker. She was surprised to see that he left her flowers—and even signed the card—until the first sneeze. That's when she realized he had left her a bouquet of daisies, which he somehow must've found out she was allergic to. (When she flipped the card over, he had written, 'Valentine's Day just wouldn't be the same with-achoo!')
So on February thirteenth, Ally is extra suspicious. It's their senior year—Austin Moon's last chance to pull some dumb Valentine's Day prank—and she wouldn't be surprised if he wanted to start early. When Trish walks up behind her in the hallway before third period and she jumps so high she almost levitates for a second, Trish rolls her eyes.
"C'mon, Ally, Valentine's Day isn't until tomorrow. Can you not be a paranoid freakazoid today? Actually, don't be one tomorrow either. You and Austin ruined the party last year with your drunk arguing," Trish complains.
One of the richer kids always holds a Valentine's Day party for all the singles in their loose friend circle. Last year, it was at Elliot Greene's house. Austin had 'accidentally' knocked Ally into the chocolate fountain (which had subsequently fallen over, spraying chocolate all over the partygoers and Elliot's carpet and furniture), so they had gotten in a bit of a screaming match. She had chased him into the back yard, yelling profanities, and then tried to push him into the (freezing) pool. The problem was that he had grabbed her to try to stop himself from falling, but they were both drunk and off-balance, so they both ended up falling in.
When they had gotten out of the pool, they pushed, shoved, and yelled at each other as they stormed back inside the house, not realizing that they were also pushing and shoving everyone else, and getting water everywhere. So Elliot, covered in chocolate after trying to clean up the first mess, had tried to point them to a bathroom that wasn't full of other people so they could at least try to clean themselves up a little. Elliot had kicked everyone out pretty soon after that.
"Didn't you still hook up with Christian afterwards?" Ally asks Trish.
"Yeah, but you ruined the party," Trish says. "And you didn't get to hook up with anyone."
Flashes of her and Austin taking off their clothes in that ridiculously small bathroom play like a broken record in her mind. It really had started with them just trying to clean their clothes—she tried to use the sink because she needed the soap to try to get the chocolate out of her dress before the stain set, but he had shoved her out of the way and argued that he had chocolate stains too and his white shirt needed more attention than her red dress. Plus, she had chocolate in her hair and she was shivering from the cold pool.
But Drunk Ally was not about to concede to Austin Moon, so she had pushed in front of him and taken the sink again. And then, suddenly, she became very aware of how closely her back was pressed up against him, and she also became very aware of how he simply pressed closer to her as he leaned around her to use the sink at the same time.
She vividly remembers the moment he huffed in annoyance, dropped his shirt into the sink, and grabbed her hips to spin her around and kiss her. She also remembers immediately kissing him back with all she had, her dress forgotten as he heaved her up onto the counter and she wrapped her legs around his waist.
"Ally!" Trish shouts in her ear, bringing her back to the present.
"Huh?" Ally asks, feeling her cheeks heat up and hoping Trish doesn't notice her blush. Austin and Ally never talked about that night after it happened, and they certainly haven't told anybody. She'd like to keep it that way.
"The minute bell just rang. You coming to class or what?" Trish asks.
"Oh. Right."
"He's not gonna pull anything," Trish says, rolling her eyes as she drags Ally down the hall to their next class. She must mistake Ally's distractedness for paranoia about Austin's Valentine's Day prank.
She wonders if he'll even do one this year, or if there's some unspoken rule about not pranking people you've had sex with. His general dislike towards her (thinly veiled with his trademark charming form of sarcasm, of course) doesn't seem to have changed, but maybe he'll decide to turn over a new leaf.
Still, she hesitates and checks her chair before sitting down next to him in their Spanish class. Randomized assigned seating really can be a bitch sometimes.
"Buenos días, Pickles," he says, leaning back in his chair with a stupid smirk on his face as he uses his favorite (and only) nickname for her. He shortened the original nickname to just Pickles in the sixth grade, and while she still doesn't like it, she'll tolerate it a lot more than Pickle-Breath. "You seem nervous." That mischievous glint in his eyes is enough to tell her that hoping he would turn over a new leaf this year is just wishful thinking.
The bell rings for class to start, and Ally shrugs. "No hablo ingles," she tells him, making use of their teacher's strict No English In Class rule. Austin isn't the best student, so she knows he won't be able to keep a Spanish conversation with her, and he'll eventually get bored if she ignores him.
Sure enough, he doesn't really bother her for the rest of class. Actually, he doesn't really bother her for the rest of the day. Usually they'll at least get into some sort of argument over him stealing her food at lunch. (She would just sit somewhere else, but Trish insists on sitting with that friend group to maintain her status enough to keep getting invited to parties. Plus, they really are friends with most of the people they sit with.) But today, they hardly interact at all. And that sets her even more on edge when she thinks ahead to tomorrow.
Her eyes dart back and forth like a cornered animal as she walks down the hall to her locker when she gets to school on Valentine's Day. He has gotten the satisfaction of pranking her every year since first grade, and every year she's fallen for it. She's always taken the high road and never pranked him back, and this year is no different. But she's really trying not to give him the satisfaction this year, if she can help it.
So when she sees him walking towards her, she stares him down. He simply grins at her with those stupid, perfectly white teeth as he approaches and holds out a simple, folded red paper heart. The color looks faded, and the paper is wrinkled, and she's almost impressed at how little he tried to hide the fact that he's trying to lure her into a false sense of security.
"Happy Valentine's Day, Pickles," he says.
She rolls her eyes and takes the card. When she opens it and reads the not-rhyming poem she'll never forget, misspelled words and first-grade handwriting and all, she raises her eyebrows and looks back up at him.
"I kept it," he announces proudly. "So we could come full circle."
"It still doesn't rhyme," she tells him.
"Really? I thought it magically rewrote itself at some point over the years."
"You don't honestly expect me to believe this is it." She holds up the card to make her point and then crosses her arms. "Especially after last year."
He had stuck dildos all over her locker (not very creative, but effective enough). They had both gotten a week's worth of detention, despite her protests that she had nothing to do with it, but he had said it was worth it.
He shrugs. "You're right. This isn't it. I've also given you an almost Pavlovian reaction to Valentine's Day of dread, paranoia, and hatred. That one took twelve years, but you're worth it." He smirks at her and taps the tip of her nose.
She narrows her eyes. "I'm surprised you even know what the word Pavlovian means."
"I'm surprised you still think calling me dumb is a good comeback," he says, his eyebrow quirking up for a split second before going back to normal. "I've seen my report card; I know what I am."
Before Ally can say anything back, Trish walks up to them, looking annoyed.
"You guys, school hasn't even started yet and you're already doing your stupid Valentine's Day bickering thing? Can't you grow up for once?"
"All I did was give her a card!" Austin argues.
"A card?" Trish asks incredulously.
Ally sighs and hands the card to Trish, who reads it and immediately starts laughing.
"It's the same one," Ally says before she can ask. "How romantic." She shoots a glare in Austin's direction.
"Well, that's great!" Trish exclaims. "Now you don't have to be paranoid all day."
"She's expecting more," Austin says. "So needy. Apparently, my thoughtful gift isn't good enough for her."
"Yeah, that's it." Ally rolls her eyes.
"Well, I'm gonna head to class early," Trish says, handing the card back to Ally. "I'd rather be there than listen to the two of you any longer." And with that, Trish walks away.
"I can't believe you want more from me," Austin says, shaking his head. "You're so spoiled."
"Please. You're the one who feels the need to keep doing this stupid Valentine's Day thing and keep outdoing yourself. I'm just making a prediction based on the pattern," she tells him.
"I mean, it sounds like you want more," he says slowly, leaning towards her until her back is against her locker. "And if you do…" Her heart pounds and she closes her eyes as he rests his hands on her hips and keeps leaning in, his lips agonizingly close to hers, their noses touching. "I can think of a few things."
This is the first time either one of them has even remotely acknowledged their drunken tryst last year, and her brain goes so far into overdrive that she forgets to say anything for a few seconds. And when she does finally speak, she immediately hates herself.
"Austin, what are you doing?" she whispers in a nervous rush, effectively ruining whatever moment or mood he was trying to create. Sure, he's an obnoxious asshole, but she hasn't stopped thinking about his lips and body back on hers for the past year.
Granted, they're also in the middle of the school hallway, so it's not like they could really do anything anyway besides make everyone around them uncomfortable.
He leans back a little, still closer than he should be but with his face far enough away from hers for her to breathe again. She looks up at him with what's probably a mix of confusion and arousal on her face, and she quickly tries to mask it with irritation. All he does is smirk at her.
"You were right," he says with a shrug, letting his hands fall to his sides. "I do have something else for you. Well, something else, else," he clarifies, seemingly forgetting his overt innuendo from just a second ago. "But unfortunately, I left it at home, which means it'll have to wait until the party tonight. You're going, right?"
"Now, I'm not."
He rolls his eyes. "Yeah, you are. C'mon, Pickles, for better or worse, this is a tradition, and I know for a fact you secretly like it."
"Yes, because all I look forward to on Valentine's Day is an allergic reaction or a bunch of dildos on my locker. Maybe this year you'll wrap up a wasps' nest for me!"
"Ooh, good idea!" Then he smiles and shakes his head. "But yes, you do like it. You were genuinely disappointed when I said the card was all I got you."
"That wasn't disappointment, idiot. That was disbelief."
He starts backing away from her to start making his way to class. "Say what you want, Pickles. Tradition is tradition, and you're going to the party."
She crosses her arms as he slowly walks backwards with that smirk still on his face. "Obviously, I'm going to the party," she tells him with a huff of annoyance. "But I'm not putting up with any of your shit tonight."
He shrugs, turns around, and walks away down the hall. She clenches her jaw and storms off to her class in the opposite direction.
At the party, she really does try to just enjoy herself. But all she can think about is what sort of sick, twisted prank Austin has planned for his grand finale. Any time she sees anyone with blonde hair even remotely in the same vicinity as her, she alternates between panicking and seething.
"Ally, come on," Trish finally whines to her after she whips her head around for the twentieth time to make sure Austin isn't sneaking up on her. "You're not even having fun. Have you had a single drink?"
"I don't need to drink to have fun, Trish," Ally points out.
"You don't get to use that excuse when the reason you're not drinking is because of Austin."
"Trish, you aren't the one he's been pranking for twelve years."
"Oh, come on, Ally. It's all been harmless! And honestly, pretty funny."
"What about freshman year when that box of chocolates sent me to the hospital?"
"Okay, first of all, everyone knows you never eat chocolates from a 'Secret Admirer.' And second, when he put the laxatives in them, I'm pretty sure he didn't expect you to eat the entire box in one sitting."
"He shouldn't have done it in the first place!" Ally exclaims.
"He felt really bad when you were in the hospital," Trish tries. "Didn't he try to visit you?"
"Yeah, but that's only because my mom called his mom freaking out when I told her he gave me the chocolates, so his mom made him come apologize."
"Dez told me Austin beats himself up over it to this day," Trish says. "And that's coming from Austin's best friend in the whole world, who also can't lie to save his life."
"Doesn't make it any better," Ally says.
"Well, regardless, most of the pranks have been harmless," Trish says. "And just because he said he's gonna prank you, doesn't mean he really is. Maybe the real prank is him making you so paranoid you don't get to have fun at this party. Do you really wanna let him win?"
She thinks about what Trish is suggesting. She might have a point; Austin did make a big point about how much he made her hate Valentine's Day.
"No, I don't," Ally says. Then she looks around one last time. "And it doesn't seem like he's here yet."
Almost right on cue, she sees Austin and Dez walk through the front door. Austin seems to be carrying something large, poorly wrapped in heart-themed paper. When he sees her, his face breaks into a shit-eating grin as he makes his way over to her.
Trish downs whatever's in her cup. "Alright, well, I'm gonna go take cover before the nuclear explosion."
"No, you're not," Ally says, grabbing her wrist to keep her there.
"Hello, ladies. You look nice," Austin says when he's standing in front of them.
"I like your dress, Ally," Dez pipes up, looking nervous. He's probably trying to assert that he had nothing to do with whatever Austin is about to give her, but she already knew that.
"Thank you, Dez."
Austin presents the gift to Ally. "As promised," he says.
She hesitates. "Is this gonna explode on me?"
"No," Austin says with a laugh. "C'mon, Ally. Just open it."
"I should just throw it in the trash," she says.
"Aw, but where's the fun in that?" he asks. "Now hurry up so we can all go have fun!"
She sighs and unwraps the gift, and she finds a massive stuffed pickle with a silly smiley face on it inside. She raises her eyebrows and looks up at him. He's definitely given her worse things in the past.
"Happy last Valentine's Day, Pickles," he says with a grin. "Get it? It's a pickle, and you're—"
"I got it," she interrupts, shoving the wrapping paper in his hands. "Very funny."
"Aw, that's actually kinda cute," Trish says, tilting her head. "I should take a picture to commemorate it."
"Great idea!" Austin exclaims. He wraps an arm around Ally as Trish pulls out her phone.
Ally rolls her eyes, but she decides to play along for once. This has been the first year in a while that his Valentine's Day gift really was harmless. And Trish was right—it is sort of cute. So she exhales and smiles at the camera, giant stuffed pickle in hand, as Trish starts taking photos. Then she feels Austin press his lips against her temple, and she raises her eyebrows in surprise.
"Can we go have fun now?" Dez asks when Trish puts her phone away.
"Yes!" Austin says with a smile. "See you guys later," he adds, shooting a wink at Ally. Then he and Dez walk away.
"So, what was that?" Trish asks. "There was no nuclear apocalypse."
"I don't know," Ally says. "I was expecting something worse than ever, but…maybe he went all sentimental for his last prank." She holds the stuffed pickle out in front of her, looking at the goofy face stitched onto it.
"Maybe he felt bad for all the shit he's put you through," Trish suggests. "Now can we go have fun?"
"Yes, Trish. C'mon."
Ally runs into Austin again three drinks later, when she walks outside trying to find where Trish wandered off to. He saunters up to her on the porch, the token smirk on his face, and looks her up and down.
"Enjoying the party?" he asks her.
"I was," she replies, crossing her arms.
"Aw, don't be like that." He nudges her with an elbow and then shoves his hands in his pockets, grinning down at her.
"Are you enjoying the party?" she asks.
He shrugs. "I was." She rolls her eyes, and he laughs. "Hey, can I tell you something?"
"If you must." He frowns. "I'm kidding," she says. "What's up?"
"Those valentines back in first grade, I didn't mean to not give you one. I ate one on the way to school, and I didn't put anybody's names on them, so your desk just happened to be the last one I got to."
She raises her eyebrows. "You realize I don't care about that, right?"
He smiles a little and shrugs again. "Yeah, well, I wanted you to know anyway. I was upset Mrs. McCarthy made me write you a 'special' valentine, and I took it out on you. And then you were so frustrated and I thought it was funny, so I kept doing it."
"Yeah, that tracks."
He laughs. "To be fair, you haven't put up much of a fight, no matter how much it stresses you out."
"Well, you know, not everyone is special enough to receive a personalized Valentine's Day gift from Austin Moon for twelve years in a row. Even if one did send me to the hospital."
He winces. "I really am sorry about that one."
She shrugs. "I believe you. It's in the past now."
"Right." He sets the cup he was holding down on the porch railing. "You know, if you hadn't reacted so strongly every year, I probably would've stopped."
She glances at him. "Maybe a small—tiny—part of me didn't want you to stop."
He smirks at her. "I knew it! You secretly liked it."
"All I'm saying is that at least I knew I'd get at least one valentine every year. Even if they were…different. And I knew you had so much fun doing it, I didn't wanna take that away from you."
"That's almost sweet," he says. Then he looks over at her. "You're not so bad when you're not pissing me off."
She raises her eyebrows. "When I'm not pissing you off?" she asks incredulously.
"That's what I said."
She rolls her eyes. "I was starting to think maybe you weren't so bad yourself. But now I'm remembering who I'm talking to."
"Aw, c'mon, Pickles," he says, nudging her with a grin and leaning down a little. "We were almost having a moment."
"You're the one who ruined it!"
"My bad…" He keeps leaning down, and she only realizes what he's doing when he actually kisses her.
She raises her eyebrows in surprise, but she closes her eyes and kisses him anyway. She's been missing this for a year, and she's gonna savor every second of it. She runs her fingers through his hair as he wraps his arms around her waist, and the rest of the night goes by in a blur.
Something changes after that night. It's almost like since their Valentine's Day rivalry has technically ended with their senior year Valentine's Day behind them, they don't have anything else to fuel their feud. He gets flirtier, more charming and less sarcastic, and she finds that she doesn't really mind it.
He even starts texting her during class. It starts as just asking her for answers on the homework, but it quickly turns into stupid little jokes and mindless bickering. And she finds herself smiling every time his name pops up on her screen. She even finds herself giggling when he turns around and makes a face at her after she says he should probably pay attention considering his test scores.
She doesn't know quite when or how it happens, but before she knows it they're unofficially "together." No, she isn't technically his girlfriend and they've never been on a date, but he can't seem to get enough of her. They hang out every day (it started as her "tutoring" him but that excuse quickly disappeared as soon as they took a study break to watch a movie and he kissed her for the first time sober), and they're pretty much attached at the hip at school and parties.
She's also noticed that other girls don't really try to get with him anymore. At this point, she knows that despite not having a label on their relationship, she'd feel cheated if she found out he was hooking up with other girls, so she's perfectly fine with everyone thinking Austin's off the market. And Trish told her that lately even if girls do try to flirt with him, he makes a point to keep it friendly.
So even though technically they aren't exclusive and they say they're "just friends," she feels strangely secure in whatever romantic relationship she does have with him. Still, that doesn't make her feel any better when she really stops and thinks about the fact that she's even worrying about any sort of romantic relationship with Austin Moon.
"Hey, Ally," Austin says one day as they're doing homework in his room. She looks up at him from where she's sitting on his bed, and he's already turned to face her where he's sitting at his desk.
"Yeah?" she asks.
"You think there's a chance you could forgive and forget how much I used to piss you off and ever actually like me?"
She raises her eyebrows. This can't be a serious question, can it? "Well…we've been hanging out pretty much every day for the past month," she reminds him. "Do you really think I'd spend this much time with you if I didn't like you?"
"I dunno. Maybe the sex is worth it."
She starts coughing in surprise at his bluntness, which elicits a little laugh from him.
"If that were true," she says, clearing her throat, "I would've started hanging out with you a year ago."
"Right. So…you do like me?"
She sets her homework aside. "Is this some sort of fever dream? If I didn't know any better, I'd think Austin Moon might be insecure."
He shrugs, avoiding her eyes. "It's just…I really like hanging out with you, but I know that we definitely used to not like each other, so I don't know if I'm the weird one for changing how I feel so quickly and kinda randomly."
"You're right," she says. "It is weird. But I like hanging out with you too, so the howand whyof it all don't really matter, do they?"
"I guess."
She frowns. He doesn't look like he's feeling any better, but he also doesn't look like he's going to pursue the conversation. The old Ally would've felt a little satisfaction seeing behind the smug confidence and charm, but now she just feels a need to make whatever pain he's feeling go away.
She gets up from his bed and walks over to him, sitting down on his lap sideways so she can look at him and draping her arms around his neck. He sighs and meets her eyes, loosely wrapping his arms around her waist and clasping his hands where they're resting on her hip.
"What's wrong?" she asks him.
"I don't know," he says.
"You don't know or you don't wanna talk about it?"
He shrugs, tightening his arms around her a little. "Both, I guess. I'm just worried that this isn't…real."
"Why wouldn't it be real?"
"Because I've been annoying you nonstop since first grade."
"You never liked me until now either."
"Yeah, but I was just doing it out of spite. You actually had a reason. So it makes more sense for me to like you than for you to forget all these years of me antagonizing you," he says.
"I mean, you never did anything that bad," she points out. "At least, not intentionally."
He takes a deep breath. "I guess I just don't understand what changed for you. For me, at least, after Valentine's Day I really had no reason to keep getting those reactions out of you."
"Okay, and for me, when you stopped constantly trying to piss me off, I got to know you, and I liked you. But originally I think the catalyst was us hooking up."
He nods, a small smile on his face now. "Yeah, you're right about that. So…this is real?"
She nods too, smiling back at him. "It's real."
His smile grows, and she sees the confidence make its way back onto his face. "So, like…if someone were to ask, if you and I were, you know, together, and I said yes, would you agree with that?"
She narrows her eyes at him. "I don't know," she says pointedly. "You haven't asked me."
He frowns. "You haven't asked me either."
"Because I figured it would scare you off or you'd make it into a joke or something," she says.
"I wouldn't do that."
"I'm still not quite used to the version of you that isn't always trying to think of a new way to annoy me."
He tilts his head. "Fine," he says. "New question. If I asked you if you wanted to be together, what would you say?"
"Are you asking me if I want to be together, or are you being hypothetical?"
He swallows and meets her eyes. "I'm asking you."
She smiles a little and rests her hand on his cheek. "Then I'd say yes."
happy belated valentines day