"There is something I want to show you," Alair continued, "I am sure Szayel has forgotten about this person. I don't blame him. We rejected all our knowledge of people like ourselves. But now... I think you need to read this, N. I cannot think of anyone else, but I want you to read his book- and then his biography. Then you will understand to an even further extent to why we are this way. We do not wish to be. We never did, but I hope...I hope he can be once I am gone. I will not last much longer in this form, but at least I can impart some knowledge."
"Typical Szayel," Nnoitra couldn't help but note. But it was true. "But I'm glad you could talk to me."
"I as well," Alair noted and added, "I am finished speaking."
Yumichika's hearing slowly came back to him and the ringing in his ears subsided. He didn't know what happened, but he could hear people yelling in the distance. He frowned a bit as he climbed to his feet- one hand on his sword in case of attack. He couldn't hear what everyone was yelling about- he assumed it was a group of people anyways.
He slowly crept towards the sound, only to stop when he came in sight of those he heard.
"I told you!" One yelled, "the button to the left sets the timer! The button to the RIGHT- the- RIGHT, sets off the bombs immediately!"
"I'm sorry! I wasn't listening!"
"That's why you just blew up all of Las Noches AND blew up all the shinigami captains who were setting up the bombs in there, Ichigo!"
The bleached-haired kid was silent for a moment and looked at the device in his hand. "oops?"
"You don't say oops, Ichigo Kurosaki!"Ishida screamed with so much force, his glasses fell off his face and into the sand. "You don't just say oops! You just vaporized Soul Society's finest and all you have to say is oops?!"
"Was that not the right response?" Ichigo asked after a moment of earnest thought.
Chad sighed from where he was standing between the two of them, doing his best to keep Ishida from killing the one who made a mistake.
A BIG mistake.
"YES! Yes it was, Ichigo!" Ishida continued, not even bothering to try and find his glasses. "The soul reapers wanted to help you save Orhime who is being held captive here and you just blew them all into pieces! They were trying to help you! How do you know that Orihime didn't get blown into pieces?!"
Ichigo paused and a moment later, Ishida ran for his life- only to stop mid-run to see Ichigo fall over in the sand. Sobbing.
It didn't take a genius to realise he was saying "Orihime," over and over, but it was really hard for the untrained ear to decipher. Especially Yumichika whose hearing was still a bit off- even thought it was almost better.
The shinigami walked up to Ichigo and sighed. "It's okay," he didn't know Ichigo loved Orihime, but maybe he could bring some comfort? "I didn't run into Orihime when I was escaping. The only people in there are Nelliel and her crew. I didn't even know the captains were setting up bombs. Who was in there?"
"Everyone not in England, with the exception of Byakuya and his squad who was ordered to stay in Soul Society to watch over the other women," Chad said calmly, glad Orihime wasn't toast. But he knew she would LOVE toast if he made her some. "These Shinigami men are sexist and I am kind of glad they are gone."
"That's such a mean thing to say!" Ishida cried and Chad shrugged.
It was true.
"I can take you all to London," Yumichika cut in before anyone began another fight over the loud sound of Ichigo crying. "I just need to know where a doorway is."
Chad pointed to the west- wishing he had stayed home today. He loved and cared for his friends, but Ichigo really needed to know when to give up. Ishida needed to learn when to stop freaking out. It was getting annoying.
"Good!" Yumichika smiled cheerfully. "Then, shall we be going?"
Chad nodded again and pulled Ichigo out of the sand and began to march in the direction they came; Ishida trailing behind.
A/N: Once again, hot off the press! Yep. Everything and the Kitchen Sink. I thought of this title, kinda because of Terrible Writing Advice on Youtube. So funny. But anyhow, yeah. I DID spare Byakuya and Renji, but everyone else who isn't at the London Hotel and those IN Las Noches are dead. I had this idea in my head for the longest time (3 years) and I was sitting and thinking, "would Ichigo mess up this? Would he really accidentally blow up all of Las Noches with everyone inside? Yes. Yes, he would." And the part with Ishida telling Ichigo which button he was SUPPOSED to press, came from Guardians of the Galaxy: VOL. 2. It just worked so well. It's not word for word, but... it's fanfic. :D I hope you enjoyed!