CHAPTER 4
Hotch and Emily settled on the sofa in Emily's apartment to watch a movie after dinner. The afternoon at the office had been… unusual. JJ and Jordan were holed up in JJ's office going over procedures for most of the afternoon. Garcia had been running a couple of searches for Morgan and Dave before flirting with Kevin online for the rest of the day.
That had left Emily and Hotch the only ones from the team in the bullpen. They had worked in their usual places on paperwork from the case and then consults. They did their best in trying to ignore the presence of the other knowing that if they crossed the professional/personal line in the office now, it would be harder to go back.
During dinner, Hotch had taken a call from Dave updating him on what was happening in Las Vegas. As suspected, Reid had not just stayed to spend time with his mom. It turned out he was committed to investigating a 20 year old cold case. After Rossi relayed Reid's thoughts that his father may have committed the crime and their profile of the killer, Hotch had sighed and told Dave to let them know what information they needed in Las Vegas. He and Emily along with Garcia and JJ would help from Quantico as much as they could.
After the movie finished, Hotch went upstairs to change out of his suit. While changing, he decided to just take his evening shower then instead of waiting until right before bed. He knew that Emily wanted to shower together but tonight he needed some time before talking to Emily about something she said at work today.
He sighed, still annoyed at the comment she made earlier in the day about Will being the 'last viable donor'. While he knew she hadn't meant any harm by the comment, he couldn't help but be upset that it was said by his wife of less than 24 hours.
As he reached the bottom of the stairs, Emily turned around and frowned when she saw him.
"You showered." she stated as she looked at his still damp hair.
Hotch nodded before replying, "yes, I decided to go ahead since I was getting changed."
Emily sighed and looked down before saying quietly, "then I'll head up in a minute to shower and get ready for bed. I'm kind of tired." She had noticed that there was tension between the two of them since they had arrived back at her apartment but had no idea of what was causing it.
Hotch could see her confusion and shook his head as he realized she didn't understand why he was upset. Looking over at her, he held out his hand as he said, "before you do that, could you come over here and talk to me?"
Emily nodded and took his hand as she said, "sure" before they both sat back down on the couch together. Looking down at their entwined hands she asked shyly, "what's wrong?"
Hotch sighed before he said quietly, "the comment you made in the office today. The one about Will being the last viable donor."
Emily looked up at him in recognition before she replied, "so you did hear what we were saying." Suddenly she understood the tension that evening. As an alpha male, a comment like that by his wife would have bruised his ego even though it was unintentional.
"Not everything but enough. Why did you say it?" Hotch answered.
Emily sighed before she turned and looked at him while moving her thumb over his, "when JJ brought her in, Jordan started to ask some personal questions. Are you married? Do you have kids too? Etc. Questions that last week, I would have answered honestly and then moved on without a second thought.
I shouldn't have been but this time I was caught off guard for someone to ask me point blank if I was married. And I had to lie through my teeth. And you know how much I hate lying Aaron.
It just felt so wrong to say I wasn't the day after we got married. Like I was disrespecting our marriage. Even without our agreement about telling the team, there was no way I was going to say I was married, especially in the middle of the bullpen and have her be the first person to know. Well her and JJ.
I knew that there was no way Jordan could know, it felt like she did. I felt like it was obvious that I was lying and that our secret would be out right then and there. So I did what I do in tense situations - I made a joke. Granted apparently a bad and thoughtless one. To divert attention back to JJ and her swollen feet. See another bad joke."
Emily paused and looked down before making eye contact with him again and saying with tears in her eyes, "I'm so sorry if I hurt you. It was not my intention at all."
Hotch had nodded as she spoke, learning how the situation had arisen. He didn't want Jordan to be the first one to know either. And he did know how much Emily hated lying and how hard it must have been for her to deny their marriage. He could see that she regretted it but they needed to discuss it as the team dynamic would change as soon as the rest of the team was back and they told all of them that they were married.
He reached up and smoothed her hair with his other hand as he said, "I know it wasn't your intention. But part of the change in the team dynamics is that we are both going to need to be careful what we say in the office. There will be greater scrutiny on us once our news comes out."
As he spoke he had felt Emily nodding before she replied, "I understand. I'll try to be more mindful in the future."
As they looked at each other, he smiled back at her and answered, "thanks sweetheart, that's all I ask. I know it isn't fair, particularly for you being in the bullpen. If it ever gets to be too much, let me know. I know Derek can push things sometimes."
Emily chuckled and rolled her eyes as she answered, "that he can. Thanks for coming and talking to me about it. I don't like it when you are angry with me and I don't understand why."
Hotch sighed as he said, "I'm trying to learn from past mistakes. And I don't want to be angry with you. I knew that it wasn't intentional but it was something we needed to address sooner rather than later."
Emily quietly rested her head against his chest as she looked at the hands. After sitting like that for a few minutes, Emily patted his chest as she sat up. She knew if she didn't move soon, she would fall asleep and she still wanted to shower. Looking back at him, she said as she stood up, "now that we have that taken care of that. I'm going to go shower and get ready for bed. Can you finish up down here?"
Hotch nodded as he said, "sure. I won't be long." He watched as she slowly climbed the stairs not missing that her shoulders were sagging more that he would like. He turned and quickly went through turning lights off and doing the last checks for the night.
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Emily yawned as she pulled pajamas out of her dresser drawer. Just as she was turning to head into the bathroom, Hotch walked into the bedroom and over to her. She stopped and said as she looked at him, "Aaron, you surprised me."
He smiled as he reached her before he slowly started to unbutton her shirt. As he looked at her he continued as he said, "well, I said this morning that I would help unfasten the buttons on your shirt tonight. You know, since there are so many of them."
Emily laughed before she replied, "that would be appreciated. I'm really tired and just want to go to bed." She relaxed at the relief that the earlier tension between them was now gone. She closed her eyes as he made his way down her shirt, opening her eyes when he opened it and slowly pushed it over her shoulders.
As she looked back at him, she could see the concern as he said, "should I just set the alarm so you can shower in the morning?"
Emily shook her head as she answered "no, I need to take one now. I won't have time if we get called in." She hated getting called in during the night and having to rush through a shower. She much preferring to take one before bed.
Now they also had the added component that if they were called in, Hotch would need to take a quick shower if for no other reason than to tame his hair. And somehow she didn't think them trying to shower quickly together would work out that way. They would either be in each others way or get distracted.
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Hotch heard the bathroom door open as he was preparing for bed to see Emily walking into the bedroom with her hair still damp and already in her pajamas. He stopped and commented, "that was quick."
Emily rolled her eyes at her husband's observation before she said, "like I said. I'm tired and want to go to bed." She walked over to the bed, pulled back the covers and climbed into it.
"Then let's go to bed." Hotch answered and he climbed in on the other side of the bed. He moved towards her only to get a glare as she said, "no funny business tonight, mister. Sleep only."
Hotch nodded as he answered, "I understand. Is cuddling allowed?" as he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her towards him.
Emily relaxed into him, resting her head on his chest and closing her eyes as she responded sleepily, "cuddling is always allowed. Goodnight Aaron."
"Goodnight Emily." Hotch answered and he closed his eyes as well.