I sat there with a razor in hand. Why am I doing this. I need to relieve the pain from seeing him with another girl. Why? I found the outline of my other cuts that have been healing for a couple weeks, tracing my fingers over the older ones and began putting fresh ones over them. I felt the blood drip down my arms and fall into the sink. I looked up into the mirror. My hair was a disheveled mess and my eyes looked horrible, like I hadn't even slept in the past week. "Great." I muttered dryly. "What have I gotten myself into." I continued to cut my arms and my wrists getting dangerously close to my veins. Why do I feel like this, it's not like I'm his girlfriend or anything. So why exactly am I cutting?

Three Months Earlier

"Come on Natsu!" Lisanna whined, "It'd be a fun mission!"

"Really? You think a month-long mission would be fun. Besides I'd rather go with Luce." Natsu retorted to the whiny girl. Her face fell but only for a fraction of a second.

"Come on! I'm way better than Lucy. Besides you've known me longer."

"Why does that even matter?"

"Because I'm way better of a partner than Lucy ever will be." She stated in a matter-of-factly tone. Lucy sat a few seats away from the duo and snorted. Who does she think she is? Saying I'm weaker than her.

"Please Natsu!"

"No and that's final." He huffed.

She huffed and muttered under her breath,"I'll change your mind later."

"What was that?" Natsu asked.

"Fine!" She exclaimed crossing her arms over her chest. "But at least go on some sort of mission with me." She pleaded bashing her eyelashes at him and clinging to his arm, her chest pressed firmly against him. Lucy stood up and walked over to the request board, plucking one off and telling Mira she'll be back in a few weeks. Natsu tried to go after her but Lisanna pulled him back to her. "She's gone, now we can take a mission together!" She exclaimed pulling him along with her to go to the request board, grabbing one and dragging him to her apartment. Natsu complaining the entire way. Once the door was firmly shut he finally started yelling, getting seriously pissed.

"How many times do I have to tell you NO."

"Seriously Natsu chill."

"No Lisanna. I'm lea-Mmph." She pressed her lips to his in an instance and moved him away from the door. She pushed him on the couch and sat onto his lap, not once breaking the kiss. When she finally realize that he wasn't kissing her back, she pulled back and tried to get rid of her top. Then there was a hand on top of hers to stop her. She looked up to Natsu, his mouth pressed into a firm line. There was no burning fiery passion in his eyes. He closed his eyes, preparing his next words. "Seriously Lisanna. I don't love you. Trying to fucking seduce me. That won't work on me, considering I already love someone else."

"Who?"

"Luce."

"Why her! She's a fucking slut, I bet she trys to get every boy she can lay her dirty hands on. She's just a fucking whore. Theres nothing special abo-" She started ranting, cut off my a firm voice.

"Your wrong." He snapped.

"How so?" She retorted.

"She's nothing like that and I love her."

"Fine but remember she went on a mission for a few weeks so whether you like it or not you're stuck with me." She said reaching around him and placing a firm grip over his covered cock. "So you better let me have you." She whispered in his ear.

"No." He stated firmly.

Meanwhile With Lucy

What am I even doing. Am I jealous, that she was all over Natsu. I mean it's not like we're dating but still. Ugh! Life is too confusing. I'm just gonna go on the mission and finish it. At least the reward is high, almost 2 million jewel. That'll cover rent for months! Lucy huffed, her shoulders slouching. The job was close enough to the Heartfilia Estate that she decide to go and visit her mom's grave, telling it everything wrong about her life, and wishing that she was alive. She strolled through her gardens taking in the scent of fresh flowers. She dropped down to her knees, whispering quietly.

" Hi Mom. It's been awhile. I miss you so much. I wish you were here then I could ask you for advice with Natsu. You know I love him but I think he loves Lisanna, I mean she was his childhood friend. Am I being selfish for wanting him for myself? I don't know Mom! I'm so confused right now! I wish I could really talk to you." I felt my hot tear slowly falling down my cheek, dropping off of my chin. "I miss you mom. I also brought fresh flowers and I made my dream come true, remember? I joined Fairy Tail. I'll come back later I promise." As I said that I stood up to leave before a gust of wind blew. The next thing I saw was my mom, standing in front of me. I took a shaky step forward and reached my arm out.

"Mom?