CHAPTER 12

Emily stopped and stood in front of the church she went to as a child when they were in DC. Taking the picture of her with John and Matthew out of her pocket, she could feel the tears building in her eyes. A picture taken before life became complicated. Now one of them died. The other nearly killed by the same deluded priest. Would have been if she and Derek hadn't stopped him.

And what about her. She had shared a small part of her story with Dave. A story that she swore she would never share with anyone.

She and Aaron had been bristling throughout this case as her desire to get justice for one of her oldest friends didn't line up with what had to be done to protect the team. Things had come to a head during their argument in his office. She paused and sighed.

He didn't want to see her in the office for the next few days. At home, she didn't know where they were going to stand. Was she going to be able to still call their apartment home?

Just then she notices a drop of blood on the picture followed quickly by another. Pulling a single tissue out of her pocket, she held it up to her nose noting that it didn't appear to stopping as she felt the warmth of her blood soaking through it.

Looking back up at the church, she considers her options. She remembered were the bathroom was… or at least where it use to be from her childhood. She could slip in, get her nose to stop bleeding, clean up and then slip out.

Or she could just walk away and find somewhere else.

Sighing as she felt the sticky moisture of the tissue, Emily walked up the steps to enter the church.

####

Hotch sat in his car as he reached his apartment. When he got inside, he knew he and Emily were going to need to talk through everything that had happened since she learned of her friend's death. It was times like these that he hated his job.

That first night when she told him that her friend had died, he had taken her home and held her through her unsettled sleep. He had wanted nothing more than to support her even when he didn't understand why she was so angry at times.

But he had also needed to keep the big picture for the BAU in mind. It wasn't just the unwanted attention it would bring to their relationship. His decisions, particularly after they started getting pushback, could have affected the future of the entire unit.

Getting out of the car, he walked into the building before pausing in front of their apartment door. He took a deep breath before opening the door and walked inside. A quick look around indicated that no one had been there since they had left that morning.

Looking at his watch, he shook his head. It had been almost three hours since he left her with Dave while he and Morgan took Father Silvano to the airport. After there was no answer on Emily's phone, he called Dave planning to inquire about where he had dropped Emily off or if she was still with him.

His frustration grew during their conversation when Dave revealed that Emily had walked away from the scene shortly after he had left.

As it got later and the snow continued to fall, the temperature had dropped further. Now he was officially worried about his missing wife.

From a call earlier to Morgan, Hotch knew that Garcia had left the office so he called the number for the office of the Bureau technical analyst that was in house right now and had him trace Emily's phone. He was confused as he hung up the phone at the location he was given.

Picking up his coat and keys, he left the apartment heading back out to his car.

####

After cleaning up from her nosebleed in the bathroom, Emily walked back out, planning to leave when she stopped and looked around the church.

It had been years since she had set foot in any church. As much as she was planning to leave, there was something pulling her to stay. She walked halfway up the aisle before taking a seat in one of the pews.

She looked down and could feel the tears fall as she thought about Matthew.

About his friendship.

About her guilt about her part in the path he started down when they were teens.

About how at one point all of this had been so very important to him.

Although she knew he had developed issues with the Church over the years, as far as she knew his faith in God had not diminished.

So although it had been years and she had stepped away from her own faith, today she decided to stay and pray for her friend because it was important to him. She prayed for his soul and she prayed that he had at last found peace.

She didn't know how long she had been there though she had sensed movement as others quietly came in and out along with the bursts of cold whenever the door was opened.

When she didn't know what else to pray for, she sat back in the seat exhausted. As she did, she noticed candles in the corner. Standing up, she left the pews and walked over to the candles. Picking up one of the lighters, she lit one for Matthew and said a prayer. Then she lit two more- one for Thomas Valentine and and the other for Patrick Cavanaugh as they were victims of the same person.

When she turned around, she immediately noticed Aaron sitting in a pew in the back of the church. She sighed as she still wasn't ready to get into the mess of the last few days with him. He stood up as she walked towards him and enveloped her in a hug when she reached him.

"How long have you been here?" Emily asked quietly as he held her, not wanting to disturb those who were still praying.

"About 30 minutes. I saw you were here when I came in and didn't want to interrupt you. I was worried when I got home and you weren't. When I called him Dave said you were out walking." he replied as her lowered his mouth so it was next to her ear. "Do you want to stay longer or are you ready to go?"

"We can go." Emily said as they walked out of the church. She sighed as she curled into his side before saying, "I didn't come here on purpose, I just found myself here. And then when I was standing outside, my nose started bleeding and I just came in to clean up. Then I don't know something drew me to pray. I haven't in years but today, I just needed to be there."

"For your friend." Hotch replied softly as he held her next to him as they walked back to his car.

He could feel Emily nodding before she said, "yeah. I know you have a lot of questions and I'll answer them. I just… I just..."

They stopped and he turned to look at her before he asked gently, "you just what?" as he desperately wanted to understand what had been happening the last few days.

Emily sighed and shook her head as she looked at the ground. Then she looked up and met his eye before saying, "I just worry you will think of me differently once I do."

Hotch frowned, unsure of what she could have to tell him that would be that momentous. He then stepped closer to her and placed his arm around her as they continued walking back to the car knowing that this conversation could wait, "let's go home."