Deities aren't supposed to be afraid. They aren't allowed to be afraid. The gods of the court are never to slumber or sleep. They are never to shrink from danger. Liberos are to never EVER let the volleyball fall. They are to never ever fall.
They always gotta be able to get back up. No matter what.
Karasuno's guardian deity wasn't ever supposed to be scared.
I'm...not allowed to be scared.
This disallowance, however, did not stop him from hiding within Shiratorizawa high school's bathroom. Everything felt disallowed, actually. All the things at the training camp felt barred. Winning, success, maybe even positivity.
Everything except those cursed penalty laps that were forced upon them. Winning a set successfully just...wasn't possible. Just losing. And losing. And losing.
That didn't change the fact that fear still wasn't allowed.
He wouldn't allow his team to feel fear, so why was he feeling an overwhelming sense of it? What in the world would give Yuu Nishinoya the allowance to be afraid?
But what in the world gave the sky permission to be so loud? The lightning to crack? The clouds to cry?
...for him to cry?
Locked in the far stall of a Shiratorizawa high school bathroom, Nishinoya cried and felt afraid and endured crushing defeat.
Who would be Karasuno's guardian libero if he couldn't even do it? For sure he couldn't be...not when he was such a scaredy-crow.
Yuu buried his head into his scabbed knees, gripping his hair tightly with his paled knuckles. His nails dug into his numb scalp as the building shook with another rumble. His mind wandered: the high school must be really hungry to rumble about so much.
A little grin danced on his lips and then...faded. Fleeting, falling, flying farther away than from where it came from initially.
Fading quicker than Hinata's attention span.
And that was saying a lot.
"Man, mother nature's angry now," Tanaka commented into the silent dark.
"Shut up, Tanaka-san," Tsukki rolled over dismissively.
"Go to sleep, both of you," Daichi shushed.
Most of them agreed and snuggled into their blankets and pillows and for some of them, each other. The rain pinged against the broad window on the far wall, creating the most beautiful sleeping atmosphere for teas all across the campus. Suga rolled over on his own mattress to face Daichi's peaceful, relaxed face and fixed his blankets just before he fixed his own. He smiled to himself, thinking of all the pretty flowers in his mom's garden: swaying in the breeze (that was most probably turning into a ferocious wind) but still leaning into the light rain's tender hold. The flowers would look beautiful tucked behind his own ear, and even more stunning woven into Daichi's complexion; one of the yellow sunflowers or a small blue tulip serving a perfect contrast to his chocolatey brown hair and deep pools for eyes.
Suga would get lost in those eyes all the time if that were possible.
As for most everyone else...they were just lost in slumber. Tired from a long day's work—that mostly included penalty laps and a whole lot of losing—and ready to drift off into wherever people went when they dreamt.
But not Asahi.
Asahi couldn't sleep at all. He couldn't even think about taking such action. Noya had taken absence fifteen minutes earlier and still, his bedroll remained unoccupied. No, Asahi wasn't a naturally nosey or overly worrying person unless it was about volleyball. He was too..naturally awkward to interject himself into business that didn't belong to him. Anyway, it wasn't nice to that and even if he was bold enough, he didn't want to be that one person anyway. He...just couldn't be that person.
Then again it wasn't like Noya to just disappear for an extended amount of time. Being alone-alone wasn't his thing, especially if he could be around Asahi and the team. Annoying them at bedtime was his specialty. If he was crafty enough, the libero could scratch a good hour of sleep—without being annihilated by big-scary-captain-Daichi—and replace it with something way more entertaining than recuperating energy through slumber. Whether that be with gossip about who in their class was with who or discussing some volleyball tactic they found stupid or a dumb card game they'd probably get way too competitive over.
Okay, twenty whole minutes. Two-zero entire sixty-second cycles. Too much. Time to move. Time to go.
The ace resolved to rise, wrestle on his oversized sweatshirt, and find Noya. He wondered what in the world gave him the sense that the guardian deity of his heart was in distress as he picked his way over his teammates. To be truthful, it really didn't matter all that much. The only thing that actually remained relevant was the fact that deep, nauseating feeling was there. And It was real.
A clap of thunder shook the building again, just around the same time he rolled the door open slowly. Light flooded the room and Asahi winced, slipped through and shut the door quickly, but without sound.
Ferocious rubbing of eyes and something similar to a drunken stumble swirled Asahi's stomach further while his legs took him through the hall. Thunder rumbled again, worse than earlier. The strike shook the entire foundation of the school, nearly jarring his ribcage with, almost...painful anxiety.
"Wha-" just as the crash echoed from down the hall.
Courage built up behind his heart and mind, the pressure forcing his feet to gather underneath him. The wall served as an excellent brace from the head rush and the gravity that tugged on his tears. His hands fell away from his hair and fumbled amongst themselves, rather.
Trembling body and a small, random cough accompanied his rise against the daring fear plaguing the room. "Alright," he talked himself through it, "I'm going to unlock the door and go back to the room."
An excellent game plan, yeah. Go back to where the team and Asahi is. Everything'll be fine, yeah? Yeah.
Door creak, crash!
Earthquake-like tremors shook the entire building once more and the mirror on the wall tumbled to the floor, breaking first on impact courtesy of the sink below, and then splintering into a gazillion pieces like an aftershock. A piece of the tile floor busted from its former resting place, rolling to the far corner and resting in the shelter of the shadow beneath the sink.
Well, you could say he was shocked-after.
Nishinoya's heart hopped into overdrive and spirited away, far out of the starting blocks. The surprise blasted him backwards, plastering him to the cold tile once again.
The light flickered and the rain thickened against the metal roof. Grimy, dripping fingers felt as if they gripped his heart and squeezed. Hard. The thick thunderstorm clouds appeared to rush through his mouth and nose, filling every space of his lungs.
Voices screamed in his head, jumbling around in ugly randomness. Help, help, help. It was gonna bust. He was gonna burst.
It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't my fault.
I gotta tell someone. There's glass everywhere. I gotta go tell someone. Someone, please help. I'm terrified. I want to go home. I don't—I can't.
Asahi snapped out of his sleepy stupor and broke into a hasty jog. It was clear where the sound came from and even crystal-clearer that Nishinoya probably had something to do with it.
Asahi didn't believe in coincidence.
The handle stung his sweaty hands.
There might be a fight on the other side.
There might be something worse than that.
No, don't think that.
What if there's something worse-r than something worse on the other side?
Asahi, just go in.
Asahi, open the door.
Move, idiot! Why won't you move?
The door flew open harder than anticipated and slammed the wall. A mere glimpse of the scene in front was all he needed. The light flickered all around, and then snapped out.
Not even the light wanted to remain.
"Nishinoya-chan, are you alright?" Asahi spoke softly, fumbling for his phone and turning on the flashlight, "I think I saw glass, so just stay put. I'm coming."
It took all of him to keep his heart from literally bursting at the sight of their team's ace. Like a blanket of safety, he felt weightless in the presence of their Glass Heart. His voice cut through the pitter-patter of the rain, but only barely, "Okay, Asahi-san."
"I'm on my way right now, don't you worry," he realized how much he was sounding like he was treating Noya like a child, so he quickly added on: "I know you can take care of yourself, but I'll help you."
Noya didn't even think that, although he probably would've lashed out if it was an entirely different situation. But, alas, it for sure wasn't and just the warm tone of Asahi's voice was enough to put him at ease. It really didn't matter what he said, just that he was saying something to cover the rumbling and flashing and rolling tic-tac sheets of rain.
"Okay, Asahi-san."
The cool-white of the flashlight shone through everything, including the fear and tension in the room. The shards winked at the light while it waved shakily over them. Distress radiated hotter than the surface of the sun while a world separated them. The valley digging itself deeper and their positions falling further and further away.
He prayed Noya would accept the help. Asahi's socked feet tiptoed between all the little pieces until he was right in front of the libero. He shrunk away from the blinding light, wiping his face hurriedly although nothing could hide what was really going on, so he looked away.
The invisible force that squished his heart then pushed against accepting Asahi's help. He stepped backwards, slinking down the wall, further away.
"Noya-chan, I'm here to help get you out of here safe. Here's what I'm gonna do: I'm gonna pick you up and carry you out while you hold the light so we can see and so you know for sure that there's not complete darkness. Sound like a plan?"
"Asahi-san...I just want you to go away."
The ace grinned, "no you don't. Don't lie. Come here," An easy, giant step brought them close together and a quick swoop of long wing-spiker arms and the guardian deity was gathered in his arms, "We can't have our guardian deity's feet all cut up before our practice matches tomorrow."
Asahi's grin warmed his otherwise pale, cold skin. Nishinoya was taken aback, however, by the comment. Couldn't he see that he was in distress and super terrified? How could Asahi even call him that if he knew that he was all afraid and stuff? Surely observant Asahi had noticed it all.
A few quick bounds and they were out the door once more, the darkness of the hall barely alight with the flashlight and the occasional lightning spurts. Asahi set Noya down slowly and carefully, like a wounded puppy and strode back, hiding a teensy blush that graced his naturally rosy cheeks.
"Is...everything alright?" He reached midway towards him, and paused, wishing with everything he had to make everything fine. Completely. Fine.
Fine. A word none really associated with anything positive. It was almost the generic 'whatever' or 'eh' of the universe. But not to Asahi. Fine was, like, okay. Where everything would be okay. Like, not overly ecstatically amazing but not bad by any means. Just...where everything would be good and fine in the world. Where he and his family and teammates could just be comfortable and okay and fine in their own skin and with their situations and their positions and with their relationships.
He wanted everything in Noya's world to be good and fine.
Noya's hand half-reached back, his face melting unfamiliarly once again. Yuu looked...younger, meeker, more vulnerable. Another strike of thunder clapped outdoors and the wind howled to the moon.
A flinch and a cower away later...and Asahi knew. Who in the world gave the sky authority to be scarier than his signature Rolling Thunder?
Not Asahi. Not on his watch.
Yuu Nishinoya wanted to hide forever and ever, or at least request the Earth to swallow him whole for all of eternity.
Stepping forward towards a silhouetted Asahi, he shoved the phone back into the ace's hand, grabbed the ruffle at the bottom of aforementioned wing spiker's salmon hoodie, and slipped his head underneath. He leaned against the warmth radiating through the white shirt Asahi had underneath. Barely tall enough, his hair poked out the neck of the hoodie. It seemed to visibly relax as if it really was on-end.
Shocked would be the understatement of the century. Better yet: of the history of the world. Asahi was shell-shocked. Frozen in place. Anxious to a boil-over. Near tears. Face redder than the chili peppers Tanaka dared him to eat and then proceeded to eat them himself, instead.
What was he doing? Standing there like a pathetic wounded animal? Completely, barbarically pathetic. He needs help, you idiot. He needs comfort.
Then give it.
So, alas, he wrapped his arms around Noya's small, trembling body and held him closer, resting his chin on the smaller boy's crown and breathed strategically slower.
A comfortable silence followed, only interrupted by the rumbles and ping-ping-ping of the droplets. Each time the sky blew alight and angrily grumbled in protest, Noya would flinch just a bit. He hoped Asahi wouldn't feel it or notice, but he couldn't help that outcome. Anyway, he probably did because each time thunder clashed, he'd hold him a little tighter and rub tiny circles on his shoulder blades.
The comfort—and the sweatshirt—prevented the possibility of sprinting away like a madman, cursing his very existence and wishing for the earth to swallow him up. The strength of the ace grounded him, his protective hold like an invincible shell.
With Asahi around, Nishinoya felt invincible.
No, he was invincible.
Is invincible.
Will forever be invincible.
"Nishinoya-chan, you need rest," he lifted the sweatshirt to reveal the libero hugging his ribcage tighter, flinching at the cold air-attack, "We have a game tomorrow. Let's go back."
Bringing up the anxiety wouldn't help any, so using what Noya clung to in the difficult and frustrating times helped plenty. His breathing was easier and less laborious. Though nothing was particularly 'back to normal', per se, it could be in time.
Guided by the light of the flashlight and window at the end of the hallway, they made their way back, "Noya-san, you're trembling."
Well, duh.
"Of course...you already know that," awkward. Asahi paused their small steps and swooped Noya up, nestling the smaller boy's head close to his heart, "I, um, gotcha."
"Thanks, 'Sahi-san."
"Yeah," literally biting back a blush, Asahi hid the phone in his pocket without even turning off the light, opened the door and slid through, actually thankful for the blackout for once. None stirred or stared at him funny, as he originally anticipated.
Thankfully, he set Noya down on his bedroll, which nested beside his own. At first, silent protests were given, just like when he tried to wake him in the morning. Releasing the grip around his neck, Noya settled onto the pallet and curled up. A fwip of the fuzzy blanket and it was on top of him, courtesy of the taller third-year.
He laid down on his own bedding quietly, grabbing his own blanket. Shifting uncomfortably, he removed his phone from his pocket. T-he flashlight sliced through the air, forcing a scramble to flip it off.
A sigh of relief. Noya tossed to face him, reaching for Asahi's hand. He took it and handed him an Airpod with the freehand. Music would help calm his friends' anxiety, and anyway, Nishinoya loved their Ace's taste in music. Chill pop and relaxing indy: especially perfect for sleeping.
Combined with each others' presence, everything was put at ease.
Rubbing lightly with his thumb, Asahi lulled Nishinoya to sleep and would soon follow suit. Perhaps everything was fine and alright in the world. In the eye or in the middle of the storm.
"Everything will be fine, I promise," he whispered and rediscovered the dreamworld much easier, "Rest easy, Guardian Deity."
I hope you enjoyed :). I've been really stressed and really needed something soft. Dedicated to Gracie and Lucy and Callie and Isabel because they help me actually get through life. So, yeah :)
This was inspired by amazing art! The artist credit is: alopecoidartist on tumblr :D