AN: Just a quick note- after this there will be one more chapter and then an epilogue.

CHAPTER 30

It had been two months since Eden's birth and life at the Hotchner house had never been happier. While they were both tired with an infant in the house, neither had any complaints.

Today while Hotch was at work, Morgan had gone with Emily to her PT appointment. What ended up being her last PT appointment as her therapist stated that he was releasing her with instructions on what exercises to continue doing.

When they arrived at lunch, Morgan noticed that Emily was picking at her nails, a tell he had picked up on years earlier that something was bothering her. Once they were seated, he asked, "what's wrong. I thought you would be thrilled to be done with PT. I know it's been hard to get to appointments since the baby was born."

Emily was quiet and then sighed before answering, "I am thrilled. I do understand that I still need to work with my shoulder. It's just that when I first heard in the hospital about how important the next six to eight months would be to get back as much function as possible it seemed like so much time. Now I'm at that point and I'm still not where I want to be with my shoulder. And now PT said there is nothing more they can do and it's discouraging."

"I get it Emily. I had similar thoughts after I injured my knee in college. But there is not much else PT can offer you at this point. Your range of motion is decent. What you need to continue working on now is strengthening all the muscles in that area. At this point that is going to be what is going to give you the results that you are looking for."

Emily sighed and nodded before answering, "I know. And now that I'm not pregnant anymore I need to get back to the gym on a more regular basis."

Derek looked at her as he said sternly, "just don't overdo it as it will set you back. Why don't we develop an exercise plan…"

His thought was interrupted as Garcia came over to them. She hugged Emily, gave Derek a kiss as she picked up Eden before sitting down saying, "sorry I'm late. Did you order yet?"

Derek shook his head as he answered, "no Baby Girl. We just got here. Princess has some exciting news."

Garcia's eyes widened as she focused on Emily. Emily sighed before saying, "I was released from PT today."

Garcia looked at her confused as she replied, "why aren't you jumping for joy? This is good news isn't it?"

Emily nodded before she answered, "it is good news. It's just trying to reconcile where I am now versus where I want to be."

"We were talking about it when you came in and we are going to keep working together." Derek added.

Before Garcia could say anything the server arrived to take their orders. They went around the table giving their orders before the server walked away.

Deciding to change the subject, Morgan asked, "so Em, how did things go in court."

The previous week was the court date for the six month follow up on the change in custody order. While in court, Hotch had submitted information about his new position in the investigative unit of the Secret Service.

He was back to profiling though now it was primarily from the office compiling information that other agents gathered in the field. The judge appreciated that as well as the letter Hotch's supervisor had included stating that the travel requirement for the position were standard and for him would encompass only meetings and not field duty.

A list of the two meetings with locations and dates in the next six months was included. The hours that the team generally worked as also included with the caveat that the hours increased if there was an active threat however for their team that only occurred a handful of times per year.

The outcome after the judge also talked to Jack was favorable for Hotch and Emily as the judge approved the change in custody to permanent over Haley's objections. Objections that fell on deaf ears as it was also reported during the hearing how she had tried to undermine the new custody agreement.

After chastising her, the judge ordered that all custody handoffs would be at an official site that would monitor them and log the days and times. If the problems continued, he would schedule another court hearing and take further steps.

Emily sighed before answering, "mostly good. We now have 50/50 custody which essentially is Jack spends every other week with us. It's been great having him around more and he adores Eden."

"Then what's wrong." Derek asked noticing the tension on the subject.

"Haley" Emily answered without further comment. As much as these were their close friends she didn't feel comfortable discussing this part of Aaron's personal business with them.

The table was quiet before Garcia asked, "so Em what are your plans for Valentine's Day? Are you going to have sexy time with Bossman?"

Derek groaned and shook his head as he said, "Pen, stop. TMI." It had taken a while but he had accepted that his friend and former partner was married to and therefore sleeping with their former boss. The clear evidence of that fact was now being held by his girlfriend. But he didn't want to hear the details.

Emily laughed at Derek's reaction before saying, "well Jack will be with Haley and Dave offered to take Eden so…"

Derek looked at her intrigued before asking, "Dave offered to take the baby? You mean our Dave? Dave Rossi?"

Emily nodded before answering, "yeah him. Apparently Krystall is going to be in town and he said they would love to take care of the baby for the night. So we are going to go to dinner together for the first time since Eden was born."

Garcia looked over at her excited before saying, "oh we need to go shopping. You need a dress for dinner and new sexy lingerie to wear under it."

Derek groaned before saying, "OK, Eden and I are going to take a walk." as he stood, gestured for Garcia to pass him Eden before walking away from the table.

Emily and Garcia watched him leave before laughing. Garcia then said, "he's a spoil sport. Do you want to go shopping?"

Emily shrugged before answering quietly, "maybe. A new dress would be nice. I'm not quite back to my pre pregnancy wardrobe."

Garcia cocked her head carefully appraising her friend who was increasingly distracted as they spoke. Then shaking her head she asked bluntly, "then what's wrong. Did your doctor not clear you?" remembering that Emily had just had her follow up appointment after Eden's birth.

Emily sighed before nodding. Looking over at Garcia, she shared, "she did. Yesterday. But I haven't told Aaron yet. My appointment was supposed to be on the day of the court hearing so I rescheduled it as that was more important."

"Then what's the problem?" Garcia asked she was starting to get an inkling of what the issue was.

Emily was silently staring at the table before looking over at her friend and saying, "I'm not the same. I still have some baby weight and aside from that my body is just different. On top of that I have these big ugly scars on my chest and shoulder. What if he just doesn't find me attractive anymore?"

"Emily, you must know that that is nuts. That man loves you." Garcia responded however she could see the look on Emily's face that she was in fact serious.

Emily sighed before nodding as she answered, "I know. I love him too. That's why I don't want him to see my body now."

"He's had to have seen your body since you were shot." Garcia stated.

Emily nodded as she said, "sure he helped me for weeks with dressing and showering. But there is a big difference between caregiver and lover."

Garcia lowered her voice as she responded, "so you never you know after your injury? Well I guess it may have been hard to get in the mood with Dad sleeping down the hall."

Emily chuckled at the statement before answering, "not when we were at Rossi's." She paused as she suddenly remembered that there had been one time shortly before they moved to their house when Dave was travelling with the team. She continued, "some once we moved to the house. Mostly it was at the end with the goal in mind of trying to get my labor to start. But it was different from before all this happened."

"Different how?" Garcia asked.

Emily sighed as she answered quietly, "less spontaneous. We had to work around my belly as well as making sure my shoulder was in a stable position if you want to talk about mood breakers. At that point in my pregnancy it wasn't really an issue. But now with PT releasing me and not feeling like my shoulder is completely healed I just wonder if that's just how it's always going to be for us. Add to that that my body is just different. I just wonder if what I have to offer now is going to be enough for him."

Garcia shook her head at her friend before saying, "Emily, talk to him about your worries. But if that is how you are feeling, we definitely need to go shopping and maybe add a manicure and a hair appointment. Whatever will make you feel more confident."

Emily sighed then nodded as she said, "you're right. I'll talk to him tonight."

Looking over at her friend, she was relieved that she had talked it through with Garcia. It was a topic that had been worrying her for a couple of weeks after looking at the changes to her body in the mirror one day. She had really needed someone else's perspective on it.

On most topics she tended to gravitate towards JJ. But on this she needed the reality check that came with Garcia's blunt assessment instead of JJ's understanding. A part of her knew she was being ridiculous. That the changes to her body hadn't changed how her husband felt about her.

No it was her that was working through the adjustment now. Her shoulder injury and pregnancy happened at the same time for her as she found out about both only minutes apart. From that day on, their intimacy when it came to roles in their marriage had changed. They were needed changes that had ultimately allowed their bond to strengthen.

But now that her pregnancy was over and her shoulder was slowly improving, she was worried about how they moved back to the romantic side of their relationship that had been put aside for months. Could they get back to those early days of their marriage? Given her less than spectacular dating history, she was nervous. But Garcia was right, she just needed to talk to Aaron and trust that they would find a way forward together.

"Oh course I'm right." Garcia answered as she hoped that Hotch would be successful in reassuring her when they spoke. They sat quietly at the table until Garcia asked, "so Em, are you going back to work?"

Emily nodded before she answered, "yes but not yet. I'm still on maternity leave for a couple more months."

"Do you know what you are going to do?" Garcia asked curious as to what she planned on doing next.

Emily sighed before shaking her head, replying, "not exactly. Translation services sent a message that they would welcome me back whenever I am ready. I may do that in the short term but it's not what I want to be doing long term. I've had some inquiries from multiple departments. I just need to see what is open when I'm ready to go back. I also need to evaluate if I want to try and pass qualifications for a field position or not."

Garcia looked over at her surprised it had not been that long since she was fretting about her shoulder not being where she wanted it. Unable to keep the surprise out of her voice, Garcia said, "you want to go back into the field? After everything that happened."

Emily sighed before answering, "I didn't get hurt in the field, Pen. I was shot in my own home."