Disclaimer: I do not own any of the
main characters within this
fabrication. Their rightful owner
is Rumiko Takahashi. Please support
the official work.
Strangled Time
Chapter 46
"Young priestess?"
Kagome barely heard him. She took a step away from the room and the grisly crime scene held within and covered her mouth.
"Young priestess?" The old man shut the door and turned to face her with concern. "My apologies, I should have warned you beforehand. Although, I thought you knew the severity of the matter…"
Kagome shook her head, her hair whipped. "No." She said, voice trembling. "No, this is wrong. I'm here to talk to L—Lady Izayoi. I—I'm here to…"
Before her the elder's eyes widened. "Oh dear. There must have been some awful misunderstanding. We assumed you to be a priestess sent upon to investigate the mysterious event of the Lady Izayoi's untimely passing. Her… murder. I am so terribly sorry that you were forced to find out like this… young lady?"
Still shaking her head, Kagome backed down the hallway. No longer listening, she bumped into a corner before turning to run. Her feet couldn't move quick enough—she couldn't get away fast enough. The teen ran down the corridors and around the corners, past the gawking woman, and back through the entry hall to the front gates. Only when she'd gotten out to the street did she stop.
There, on the side of the road, Kagome retched.
The smell, oh gods. There hadn't been a body, but the smell.
The sticky stench of death and decay was trapped in her sinuses; the red hot reek of iron permeated her clothes. Kagome wretched again as tears blurred her vision.
Izayoi was dead.
It had been too easy. Damnit! She should have taken that as a red flag! Discovering Izayoi's home and whereabouts had been far too easy! Of course it was too good to be true. And they thought she was there to investigate—
The priest must have known.
That was why he'd handed over the princess' info so readily. When Kagome told him she was there following a rumor about Izayoi… She didn't specify which rumor.
Oh god.
Izayoi was dead!
What was she going to do? What was she going to tell Toga?
Kagome felt her mind wipe clear to white static as her face drained just as cleanly of blood.
What was she going to tell Toga.
…
Fingers cold in her warm gloves, Kagome's trek back to the campsite seemed to take forever.
She walked slow, intentionally so, to prolong the time between the now and the inevitability of her news breaking to Togashimaru. She tried not to think of how he would react—tried not to think of anything at all, but unfortunately her mind didn't work that way.
Reeling from the news still herself, she almost wanted to avoid the subject altogether when she returned, yet the young woman knew that she was going to tell Toga first thing. He deserved to know. They were a team; as a team they needed to disclose that sort of thing forthright. It was only fair. Only humane.
It was going to hurt him, absolutely. It was probably even going to devastate him. But it would only be worse if she waited. If he knew she'd known and didn't tell him. If he grew all the more eager and hopeful as she sat on that?
Kagome was just going to have to bite the stitches and tear the bullet out.
Before she got to camp, however, she heard the men arguing.
It seemed tensions were already high.
"Yer sick!" Kagome caught the elevated tones more clearly as she got closer. Saburo's voice was charged with an unseen accusation. "I'm not gonna agree ta do that!"
"It should not be so difficult for you, seeing as you so often treat me as a mindless cur." Toga's terse and clipped response made Kagome still. She placed a hand on the trunk of a tree to steady herself.
Now what?
No seriously… what the hell?
"You can't have it both ways, ya bastard! Either yer gonna have me treat you as a human or as a beast. So which is it!?"
The feral growl that responded turned all of the water in Kagome's body to solid ice. "Best you treat me as the mongrel then, lest you forget that I am not human."
Toga.
Kagome snapped back to her senses and when she barged back into the campsite, she stormed. "What is going on here!?" She demanded. The two massive men were close, too close, with claws and blades barred. Without thinking twice, the petite girl shoved herself between, to physically push their hulking forms apart.
Saburo stumbled backwards. He seemed to jolt instantly out of his testosterone induced rage when he caught sight of the tear tracks marring Kagome's puffy face. His little hand knife fell to the ground. "Miss Kagome, what's th' matter? Has somethin' happened?"
"What, aside from you two trying to bludgeon each other!? As a matter of fact, yes! Yes, things have happened."
Just then Kagome heard the sound of a sharp hiss. Beside her Togashimaru grabbed her shoulder and leaned in to better catch the scents that Kagome knew might still be clinging to her. If she could smell it, then of course Toga would be able to. Her hair stood on end as she waited, heart pounding, for the demon's assessment.
When it came, Kagome was not prepared for its weight.
"You have… found Izayoi. I see."
Kagome turned in time to see the light in his eyes dim. Vulnerable and open was his face. He stared at her, searching and pleading. Seeing her, yet seeing straight through her.
Under the strain of it all, Kagome shattered.
"Toga, I—I'm so sorry." She was barely able to whisper. It hurt to look at him, so she forced herself to turn to the ground. "Izayoi, she—she's gone."
Togashimaru stirred. Hollow eyes hardened. The hand at his thigh tightened. Broken, the bits and pieces of the Toga she knew melded together with something like determination and denial to form a potentially dangerous combination. The dog straightened. "Take me." He demanded. The words cut through her chest as if they were a rusty cleaver that caught on her sternum. When he pushed forward, Kagome had to put up both hands to hold him at bay.
"No. You're not going anywhere. Not like this." She told him as firmly as she could muster.
"I need to see her." His voice cracked. It was desperate.
"You can't. You—" A painful hiccup racked her body and the priestess had to shake herself clear of it. "Toga, listen to me."
"You do not understand, woman. You must take me to Izayoi!"
"Toga! Stop!" She was shouting now. Tears decorated her lashes like melted snowflakes and if she looked close enough she would have seen that they were dampening his as well. "We were too late! She's dead! There's nothing left to take you to!"
Fraught with distress and emotions she didn't want to feel, Kagome gripped his collar tight to keep him from pressing past her. He was weak. Her feet barely pushed back as he tried to plow through. Then she shoved her shoulder to his ribs, effectively knocking the General back a few steps and into a tree. Knocking the wind out of him. He couldn't go out there—couldn't go anywhere. Not in that heightened state of stress. He was unpredictable and all it would succeed in doing would be putting himself and others in danger.
When Togashimaru didn't try to breach her boundary a second time, Kagome heaved a breath. She centered herself as much as she possibly could have in that moment. Then she rose back to her full height. The stance of her feet loosened. Sadly, she gazed back up at the mess of the dog before her to check the damage.
Please don't rage out, She begged in silence.
But what she saw then weren't jagged blue stripes and bloody red eyes.
What she saw instead made her do a double take.
There, at the collar she'd disheveled…
Quickly, Kagome closed the distance between them once more, only this time Togashimaru could not fight back. His own breaths were labored when she took a thick handful of his haori and yanked it back to reveal the sickly black-purple of his skin beneath.
Air caught in her throat.
That… that hadn't been there before.
"Toga… What in the world."
She tugged harder, revealing centimeter by centimeter more and more of the putridly colored bruise. It covered the entire expanse of his chest up to the nape of his neck and down further, further still.
Saburo grabbed her wrist.
"Miss Kagome, he can explain that. He didn't mean ta use th' leaf, but he didn't want ya worryin' about—"
What?
Kagome rounded upon him, her entire body burning hot. "You knew!?" She spun between them, flabbergasted and feeling smaller and smaller as her world spun. She began to hyperventilate. "You both knew? You—a leaf!? You've been keeping this—an illusion!? You've been—this entire time!?"
She couldn't catch her breath, couldn't hold herself steady. She almost crumpled in on herself, almost gave in to the carnal scream that threatened to rip from her chest.
Instead, when Saburo tried again to reach out for her hand, she jerked from him.
"Don't touch me."
Kagome stepped back, away from the frightened Saburo and quiet Togashimaru. Feet unreliable, she still managed to hold her own.
"Don't" She bit out, clenching her fists and her jaw and her eyes. "Don't you dare go into that city." She commanded, her voice a thick, emotional soup. "And don't you dare follow me!"
And then, for the second time that day, Kagome turned on her heels and ran as fast as her legs would take her away from the pain of reality.
…
Empty.
He was as empty as the vast open expanse of the cosmos.
He was void and depth—the depth of oceans, leagues down, water pushing, pressing.
Pressure.
And nothing.
Unable to release the breath still trapped in his chest, Togashimaru crumbled to the base of the tree. He grasped claws to his breast.
His heart.
Without Izayoi... did he still have a heart?
A soul?
He was a fracture, a fissure in the ground. A child trapped in the collapsed caverns of a mine shaft.
He felt helpless.
Fearful.
He couldn't breath.
"Hey.. Hey. Togashimaru, lookit me." The blacksmith, the boy, that human man.
The campsite. The smell of it collided with his senses.
"Don't touch me." The dog demon snarled when Saburo reached forward to grab his shoulder. Togashimaru heaved a breath then slumped, head in hands, hair everywhere.
He forced himself to calm.
Reigned back his panic and fury and hysteria.
Air in, air out, slow, steady, cool.
Grounded.
"Please." Togashimaru said, windless. "Allow me silence. I need some time."
Time.
Ah, time.
That thing they didn't seem to have enough of.
Yes.
What he needed most, right then, was time.
...
She'd run.
Like a coward, she'd run from both the place of Izayoi's murder and from the true sight of the damage done to Togashimaru's body. But could you blame her? Kagome was on information overload. Yeah, she'd seen some nasty, gruesome things in the past, but never had she been that close to the matter. Physically, sure, she'd poked her fair share of bodies with sticks, but emotionally?
She'd seen villains and good people alike die in horrendous ways, but never had it happened to somebody she held dear to her heart and called friend—called family even. Never had it been so close.
Not since...
Why hadn't he told her?
Silent sobs racked her body as Kagome walked the crowded streets of Chichibu, not caring who stared her way. The lights were truly beautiful; they lit up the night sky with warm, welcoming embers. The soft light of the lanterns cast everything in a fantastic glow. But Kagome found herself unable to enjoy the sights.
How could she?
How could she enjoy anything when Izayoi's life had been stolen right out from under them and Togashimaru was dying from who knew what sort of infection or poison or whatever it was he'd kept from her.
Kagome had only just been starting to believe that maybe, just maybe, Toga was actually on the mend—that he actually had a fighting chance and would survive. But no. It had all been a lit. Every word, every touch, every spark of joy she'd felt in those past couple days.
None of it had been real.
Of course nothing was going to go right. It was Toga's fate, after all. She knew that.
Not that knowing made it hurt any less.
How was she supposed to fight against that?
Numbly, she wandered like a ghost throughout the festival, around the happy-go-lucky visitors and squealing children. When night grew to its darkest the masks came out and people flurried about all the thicker, oblivious to the turmoil blackening the priestess' heart.
Three days.
That was how long it'd been since Izayoi was killed. What had the princess been doing three and a half days ago? Four days ago? Had she been preparing for this very festival, just as excitedly as all the men and women that now walked the streets?
Three days.
They'd been so close!
If only they hadn't stopped so long in the kitsune village or waited until Sesshoumaru showed up to leave Edo. If only she hadn't gotten sick. If they'd left three days sooner, would they have been able to prevent the woman's death? Or was she too just another victim of fate, caught in some vicious, barbaric playbook?
Fate.
Dammnit. Why was fate always so cruel!?
"Why so blue?"
With a start, Kagome looked up to stare at the young food vendor who'd called out for her attention. At some point she'd stopped walking and pedestrians were being forced to step around her stone form. They gave her a very, very wide berth. The guy across the way, barely even a teen, waved her over with a trio of sweet dumplings. "Tonight is the yomatsuri, you should be smiling."
Shaking her head with a rueful laugh, Kagome wiped her eyes with her palms and stepped out of the center of the road. "It's been a pretty shitty day. Sorry, I'm scaring off your customers."
He offered her a sympathetic, boyish smile. "You're fine. There's no shame in a bad day. They happen to the best of us." He said before offering the dumpling skewers over the counter to her. "Here, on the house."
"Thank you, I think that's just what I need right now. But it's okay, I'll pay. You need to make a profit, right? It wouldn't be right for me just to take them. I don't mind—" Kagome sniffed and patted her person. When she didn't find what she was looking for, horror began to sink in. Then for the third time that day, the priestess found her eyes begin to hurt with that now very familiar tingling of welling tears. "I… I'm so sorry. It… looks like my wallet is missing."
Just… god dammnit.
Every. Single. Thing. Was crumbling down around her feet.
Wasn't it?
…
Shivering in light of the demonic clothing keeping her at a reasonable temperature, it was nearly midnight by the time Kagome wandered back into camp.
Her traveling companions had listened to her orders, it seemed, and they were still there. Right where she left them.
Somehow.
For some reason, Kagome half expected them to split. Saburo had no reason to continue helping them, especially now that their mission had blown up so spectacularly. And Toga by all right could have left into the city on a burning crusade to find the killer of his most precious loved one. And yet there they were, waiting diligently for her return.
Kagome, despite her anger and frustrations towards the two, felt that… she didn't deserve them.
She didn't deserve their loyalty.
How could she when she'd been the one most adamant about delaying their travels?
Toga… The old dog had his reasons for hiding the scope of his wounds from her. He was only looking out for her best interests; ever the vigilant guardian, always protecting, making sure she wouldn't worry.
Realizing that… well, it didn't make her feel any less pissed about his lying, but it did help to soften the blow.
Without saying a word Kagome crossed the campsite to where her bedroll was laid out next to Toga. Silently, she crawled into it. The young girl curled up under the swaddling warmth of her kimonos and shortly after snow began to fall.
That night, as Toga ran his fingers soothingly through her hair to distract both her and himself from their troubles, Kagome allowed herself to cry once more.
End Chapter