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Strangled Time
Chapter 48
Stunned silent, Kagome fell to the ground, river worn boulders slamming hard against her knees. Steepled hands pressed to her lips as she stared at the little boy in the hut before her. She knew what her gut was telling her, what her eyes were telling her, but Kagome was still having trouble wrapping her head around the revelation.
Right there, cowering in a ramshackled building and covered by a dirty, torn cloak, was a tiny, quivering Inuyasha.
There was no aura that she could sense around him, but it was him. It had to be.
But how?
He was supposed to be fifteen, right? Yet this child was barely larger than a first grader. A six year old, maybe. She'd always figured that since he was a half demon there was a possibility that he'd grown a bit slower than normal humans, but this?
Six?
Kagome had been six when her father was killed.
He'd been hit by a drunk driver on his way home after a late night shift at the college, three weeks before Souta was born. It was awful, but she'd been sheltered from the brunt of it. She hadn't been with her grandfather when he investigated the commotion down the shrine steps to the road, hadn't been forced to view the body at the hospital with her mother. For her he had simply disappeared, never to return home for their promised dance.
But for Inuyasha…
If she'd gotten anything out of the noble ladies' gossip back at the manor, it was that he'd been in the room when it happened. He'd seen his mother's murder; seen it and fled from whatever horror befell her.
He must have been completely traumatized.
Kagome's heart shattered for him.
Realizing that she was just sitting there staring at the boy, Kagome swallowed. She needed to be strong. She needed to become a solid support that this child could lean on. She needed to find a way to mend whatever mess it was she'd stumbled into. And she needed to do it with whatever time she could spare in that era.
Shaking away her initial shock, she took her hands from her mouth to reach forward.
He flinched.
She retracted.
The child form of Inuyasha crouched frozen and hunched as if waiting for physical lashing. His back was against the wall. He had nowhere to run.
He didn't growl, didn't hiss, didn't even bare teeth.
He simply looked scared.
He was a tiny, trembling child chased into a literal corner.
Gods, what had she done?
How was she going to fix this?
Could she fix it?
…Was she allowed to try?
No, yeah, screw the timeline. She was going to try.
She couldn't just ignore him.
It was Inuyasha.
"I—I'm sorry." Kagome said quietly as she held up both of her palms to try and show him that she meant no harm. "I'm not going to hurt you, I just… I want to talk. Can we talk?"
"Go away!" He whisper-shouted before picking up her money frog and throwing it at her. The pouch hit her shoulder with a soft jangle of coins. It hurt her heart more than her flesh. "I didn't do anything wrong! I didn't!"
Before she could reply he curled tighter to hide from her and the world. His shielded his face in his knees and, still clutching the pin, covered the top of his head with his hands. "Go away." The young woman heard him say again, this time a muffled plea in the fabrics of his clothes. "Mother, I'm sorry. Please come back. Come get me. I'm here.I don't know why everybody is angry with me. I can't make them stop. I'm here. You told me you'd always find me."
It was no wonder why the grown Inuyasha she knew could barely remember those days after his mother's death.
He was broken.
"Hey, hey." Kagome didn't know what to say to soothe him. "It's okay, I'm not mad at you. Look, see?" She took off her bow to lay it flat on the rocky ground beside her. "There. I'm unarmed. I'm a friend; I'm not here to hurt you." With every inch forward she attempted, Inuyasha scooted further down the wall, so she held herself back and lowered her gaze. "You don't trust me, I get that. That's fine, I don't blame you; you don't know me. You're just trying to keep yourself from getting hurt again. But I want to help you. I—are… how can I—?"
A growl interrupted her struggles for a foothold, catching Kagome's instant attention in the otherwise quiet space. It wasn't a defensive growl, but a stomach growl.
She leapt at the opportunity that sound presented her.
"You must be hungry. It's been a couple days since you've had a good meal, right? I can help with that. Would it be okay if I went and got you something to eat? I can be quick. What do you want? Fish? Pot stickers? Cold rice to settle your belly?"
This time, at the positive updraft in her tone, little Inuyasha did look up at her. He peeked from behind his knees with a sniffle, his bangs now fully exposed from his hood. And those eyes. Oh no, those eyes.
Kagome found herself totally helpless to fight against the power of those wide, teary puppy dog eyes.
"Yeah, I'll do that, then. I'll get us something to eat." She announced before rising gently to her feet to take cautious steps backwards out the doorway. "I'll be back with food, I promise. I'm going to leave my bow here so you know I'll really be back, alright? That's called collateral. You just stay put, I'll be right back."
He watched her in silence as she propped the screen back up to cover the entrance.
Only when he was hidden from view behind the deteriorating walls of the old shack, did Kagome put her hand back over her mouth. She stared at the door as her mind processed that new turn of events.
Oh.
That was Inuyasha.
That was actually Inuyasha.
She'd found him.
But now that she found him… what was she supposed to do with him?
Food. Kagome told herself as she straightened, turned, and forced her stiff body to trudge away back down the river in the direction she'd came. First things first, she needed to find food.
…
Kagome took a bite of the lunchbox she purchased from a festival vendor on the street level, but she was way too distracted to actually taste the food within it. She was preoccupied with staring dumbfounded at the cross-legged form of the miniature Inuyasha across from where she'd settled in at the doorway. He was eating his own bento slowly and precisely, even though he was probably absolutely starving. His chopsticks were held awkward but straight in his little hands, and he took every effort not to drop a single grain of rice.
She knew that his mother must have taught him those manners, but seeing Inuyasha with manners was eerie.
It was a darn shame he was going to lose them after two hundred some-odd years fending for himself in the wilds; he was going to be worn down to coarse edged backsass and crude survival instinct, far removed from this timid, polite little boy.
Before eating he'd hesitantly lowered his hood, since one didn't have a meal with a hat on, which revealed the peek of a red collar and the full shock of his white hair. It was neatly trimmed, unlike the split-ended mess of locks his elder self carried about without a care, but still just as fluffy. Topping his head were two white triangular ears that were perhaps a little bit too big for his noggin; the lightest wind could probably flop them right over and—no, Kagome. She wasn't going to think about tweaking those adorable buggers with their pink velvet linings and soft rounded tips.
Everything was cuter in puppy form. Everything. But she needed to abstain.
Kagome had to bite her lip each time the left one twitched.
Inuyasha didn't seem to notice his rogue ear at all.
He hadn't spoken a word after she'd returned with the promised meal, and to be honest, Kagome hadn't said all that much either. She didn't know what to say and talking fluff just for the sake of filling the silence felt wrong. At least this time. So instead she merely offered him some quiet company.
The little half demon was so wary; it took all her might not to scare him off.
How in the world did those women possibly think that he'd been the one to kill his own mother? There was no way. First of all, he was just so small. Kagome couldn't imagine that those claws of his were long enough to leave behind anything much deeper than a bad paper cut.
And, oh goodness, was that blood still beneath his nails?
How long had he held the bleeding Izayoi before being chased off?
Kagome shook her head. That was a question she never wanted answered.
Appetite lost, she put down her lunchbox.
The movement brought Inuyasha's attention back up to her. His chopsticks paused midair as he watched, waiting to see what her next action would be, fear glazing his eyes.
She couldn't do it.
She couldn't just hang out knowing that her hovering presence was causing him so much stress and anxiety. She needed to take it slowly, if she wanted him to ever warm up to her.
Step one was a success, she'd gotten him something to eat.
But now it was time that she let him be.
Even though she loathed the thought of leaving him alone.
Rising carefully to her feet, Kagome offered a soothing hush as the little half demon pup scrambled back once more to the far wall, food in hand. He gripped the box as if she were going to take it back away. A knot twisted in her stomach. Yeah, she needed to give him some space.
"Hey, shh, it's okay." The priestess said, knowing full well that words wouldn't make any of what he'd gone through okay. She pushed her barely touched food toward the center of the room so he could finish it later before picking up her bow to sling back over her shoulder. "I'm going to head out. My friends are probably wondering where I am. It was… really nice meeting you, um… Do you think it would be cool if I came back again?"
In response he said nothing.
Which was fine.
That was fair.
In fact, it was probably for the best.
No matter how much she desired to help him, it wouldn't help either one of them if they got too attached… right?
Because she still planned on returning home as soon as she could. She still had a duty.
And, in the end, he was still going to be left to his own devises.
...
Kagome wandered back into camp quite some time after she'd left that morning. She felt exhausted, both physically and mentally. Her mind was still spinning and twisting in dizzy circles around all of what the city of Chichibu had tossed her way so far and all she wanted to do in that exact moment was sit down for a rest.
However, it seemed that rest would have to wait.
One quick look at the campsite set Kagome on edge. Red flags sprang up all around her. Almost losing her breath, Kagome spun around to confront the only remaining member of their party still on site.
"Saburo, where's Toga?"
"He, uh." The blacksmith hesitated and reached up to touch the bare back of his neck, avoiding contact with the sharp snakes in her eyes. "Well, ya see Miss Kagome, I don't really…"
No.
No more lies. No more diversions.
She was not going to let him feign ignorance and dance around her question. She needed a straight answer.
"Saburo. Where is Toga?"
The priestess stalked towards the bear of a man. He stumbled backwards to avoid the lash of her wrath until his broad back found a branchwork barricade. She pinned him there with a glare, her hands fisted tight to her sides.
Saburo shrunk beneath her lour.
"Tell me now."
…
The hill was steep, but not as steep as others they'd traversed those past long days. Kagome found him at the top, lounging sprawled in the snow dusted grass alongside a tall grave marker. A thin veil of white powered his clothes and his skin. In silence she sat down at his other side before lying to rest her back along the cold ground. For a time she simply looked up to watch the rolling, fat clouds as they stretched out across the sky; heavy and threatening, they looked ready to open up at any moment to surprise the city below with a fresh new blanket. Her nose felt cold.
After some time passed, the priestess rolled to face her friend. He did not look at her, did not move. In his fingers the demon held a long, brilliantly golden hair piece—one much brighter and shinier than the one now in the possession of his youngest son.
It was a pin that had not yet seen the wear and tear of seven hundred years.
"It's beautiful." She remarked.
Togashimaru made a low, calming hum before replying in his melodically deep voice, "They had the decency to leave it for her."
Relieved to hear him speak but unable to keep looking at him, Kagome turned back up to the late afternoon sky.
"Toga, I… I met…" She took a shaking breath before switching strategies. When it came to Inuyasha, it was so much easier for her to jump into story mode than for her to just come out and say it. So she wove a tale. "I've said a little bit before about how Inuyasha didn't have a very easy childhood growing up as a half demon. He never told me much about it because he's missing pieces, but a lot of what he does remember is full of hardship and pain. His mother was killed when he was still very small, which forced him out into the world where he had to survive on his own. Humans everywhere turned him away because of how much he looked like a demon. And demons were constantly harassing and chasing after him because of his human blood.
"He managed to do it—to survive in a world where everybody was out to get him—but not without scars. Inuyasha grew up scared and alone, and from that he became distrusting. But it's also what made him the rough and tumble awkward guy that I care so much about. Right now, though… Right now he's out there as a terrified little boy who just lost his mom. He really needs someone and I know that someone isn't supposed to be you, but… I don't know what to do, Toga. I can't be in two places at once, and I can't do this on my own." Kagome covered her face for a brief moment before running her shaking fingers up to pull through her hair.
She was going to cry.
Kagome had a feeling that she was going to be crying a lot in those next few days.
"Toga, please, just tell me that you're not going to give up now. Not now. Izayoi may be gone, but there's still more you're needed for. Tell me that you'll try to live, just a little bit longer."
Inuyasha needs you, she thought she was going to add.
But her mouth bared her true feelings.
"I need you."
Her plea was met with silence from the large, dying General; the only sound between them the delicate tinkling of the hair pin's metal dangles as they played in the wind.
Together, as Kagome allowed her body to release the buildup of her overwhelming emotions, the two watched the day turn to dusk and then the dusk fade to night. One by one lights flickered on below them as the darkness fell, until yet again the city of Chichibu was brought to life by the energy and beauty of the winter night's festival.
…
The scent of rice hung low and starchy in the air around him as Saburo stirred the big pot over the fire. It provided a false sense of comfort—of home. False, but welcome nonetheless. His arm moved rhythmically, automatically, with the flickering flames. His mind was blank, not thinking of the mistakes he'd made or the trouble he'd gotten himself into by following after a pretty little priestess and an old scab of a memory.
Not thinking of how alone he was out there in the middle of that ancient forest.
Suddenly a rustle sounded from the wood at his back. The blacksmith stilled. He propped the wooden spoon above the rim of the cookware pot and reached down to pet the heavy arm his hammer, laid out at the ready on the log beside him. Then he twisted to watch the darkness beyond and wait for whatever was lurking closer through the shadows.
Relief swept over the human man as Kagome pushed through the brush and came into view of the fire's dim light. That relief faltered then doubled as she slowly made her way forward.
Leaning heavily and awkwardly against the small young woman for support was the broad, pale form of Togashimaru.
Well I'll be damned, Saburo thought.
If there was ever a being in the world capable of retrieving a helpless wraith from the bitter, fiery edges of hell, naturally it was going to be Kagome. Even pained with her own troubles as she was, she'd been able to bring the old dog back.
That woman truly was something incredible.
…
Chapter End