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Strangled Time

Chapter 49

"I'm so confused." Kagome confessed to the expanse of the universe as soon as she was sure that Toga and Saburo were asleep.

She reached up a hand to the sky to caress the flickering stars and lazy clouds, the outline of her fingers barely visible in the black light of the moon's crescent sliver.

"Am I supposed to step in and meddle… or am I supposed to leave him be?"

That was a tough one.

Especially when she knew that there was no right or wrong answer.

If she were following in the steps of a predestined paradox, whichever direction she chose would ultimately come to be true in her timeline and Inuyasha's past regardless, and nothing in the future would change.

Nothing except for her own memories and experiences.

…

The scent of breakfast rose Saburo early that morning—much earlier than he was used to waking. The sky was still a blushing peony pink through the canopies and the darkness of night's shadows had not yet been completely chased away by the dawn. Groggy, the blacksmith sat up and watched as Kagome bustled about with an unusually normal energy and chipper. It was a jarring juxtaposition to the events of her day prior, and that set Saburo on edge.

"It's barely even sunrise, Miss Kagome. What's got you up and hoppin' on like a bunny?" He asked, wiping the heel of his palm across an eye as she wrapped something in the bindle—his bindle—and slung it across her back.

As if he'd become a sort of transparent specter, invisible to her sight, the priestess stepped right past him without a word or glance of acknowledgement. The shoulder was cold.

Yeah, he probably deserved that. But damn if it didn't hurt.

"I can't leave him out there alone like this." She said to Togashimaru, continuing a conversation that Saburo hadn't caught the start of. "Inuyasha never meets you, I know that for a fact, and it would only be cruel to bring him back here. I'm sorry. He can't lose both of his parents so close together; I won't do that to him. He can't know who you are. That's a major part of what makes Inuyasha—my Inuyasha—who he is. Predetermined or not, I won't risk changing him. So I don't know exactly how this is going to work. We'll figure it out as we go along, I know we will. But first things first, I'm going to make sure he gets breakfast. Then we can see where things go from there."

The wording was strange, as it often was when she spoke to the dog demon about his children. Just how much sight did her entanglement with the threads of destiny grant her?

"You are rushing ahead again, Kagome." Togashimaru said from where he sat propped by the fire's warmth.

She stopped walking to look back at him. "Are you going to stop me?"

"No." He replied slowly before softening his features. "Do what you must to see that my boy is safe. I will be here to support you upon your return."

Her smile that followed was shaky, but the determination did not waver. "Thanks, I'll hold you to that. And I will; it's sort of my pastime." The priestess said with a slight and wry chuckle. Then she continued off into the forest to where the city waited just beyond the glade.

Saburo surveilled her retreating form as she disappeared. Only when she was out of earshot did get up and move over to the fire pit opposite the General. There he ladled soup into both of the dishes that were laid out for them.

"So she knows yer gonna bite it?"

The demon accepted the meal from him and the paltry truce it represented. "She is well aware, yes."

Refusing to sit, the human blacksmith cupped the warm broth in his hands. The bowl's steam curled and unfurled like the yawning branches of a fiddle head fern before dispersing in the cold air.

"Ya think she'd gonna be ready?" He asked. "When it happens?"

Togashimaru pulled his own bowl from his lips and stared through its whispering curtain. The hold on his shoulders slackened. "Of that I am unsure. No being is ever truly prepared for the death of an ally."

Saburo scoffed. "An ally? Really? That's all she is to ya?"

A gust of cool winter wind blew through the clearing as the dog drew a long, solemn breath. He didn't look away from the steam whipping from Kagome's home-cooked meal. After a moment he revised his statement. "No. We are even less prepared… for the loss of a beloved friend—or of someone dear to their heart."

He wasn't just talking about Kagome anymore, although she now fell into that category.

Saburo made a gruff hum through his nose, masculine empathy given sound. He took a sip of his soup and allowed the warmth of it to settle in his belly before asking the big question.

When he did it was barely above a whisper. "So, how long ya think ya got?"

"If I am lucky? Two days." Togashimaru's grin was a dull grimace in the absence of humor. "Unfortunately of late, however, I have not been known for my abundance of luck."

...

Kagome knocked on the wall of Inuyasha's broken little shack.

No answer.

She knocked again, once, twice more before pushing in on the door.

"Hello?" She called. "Hey, are you in there?"

He wasn't. The structure was empty. Deflating, Kagome placed the screen back against the doorframe and was about to go on to another one of the shacks when a scuffle at her back made her jump.

"It's you again."

The young woman spun to the voice and sure enough there he was. The little puppy dog eared half demon who'd grow up to become her bravest friend and companion stood half hidden and trembling behind a dilapidated fence. His hair was disheveled and his cloak thrown on in a rush as if he'd just scrambled out of bed in a panic.

He must have felt her coming.

Well, that made one of them at least; Kagome was still unable to sense the tiniest lick of an aura from him. It was unnerving but, according to Toga, it served a purpose. The old dog told her that juvenile demons weren't supposed to have an aura, to keep them hidden from predators, which explained why she hadn't been able to sense the baby in the Kitsune village or the hatchling carrion crow in the forest. Inuyasha probably should have started having an aura by that point, since he was almost the same age as Shippo and Shippo had a small but recognizable aura of his own, but Toga attributed the delay to the fact that Inuyasha was half demon.

Not that she was about to complain that the pup was a slow bloomer—the longer Inuyasha didn't have an aura, the better. It would be easier for him to survive out in the wild without every demon and their crazy uncle being able to sense where he was. For the time being, his scent was the only thing he could be tracked by—still not great, but it was sure to help his odds.

Catching onto a different, much tastierscent than his own, Inuyasha lifted his nose in the air and sniffed.

"Right!" Kagome fumbled with her pack bag and pulled out a thermos. "I brought you some soup. And I brought you some soap, too." She said, pulling out the final remaining sliver of her bar soap. "What do you say we wash up a bit before breakfast? Then, maybe, we could take a little walk?"

Outside of the cramped space of the hut, Inuyasha looked a little less like a rabbit with its foot caught in a snare trap and more like a little bunny with a double scoop of stranger danger. He took a shy step forward, away from the safety of the fence, his nose twitch, twitch, twitching towards her thermos. Then he froze, pulled back, and looked away, ears pinned to his scruffy mop. Without a word he pulled the hood of his ratty cloak up over his head. A pout and a grumble latter, Inuyasha gave into the gurgles of his little stomach and nodded.

He would go with her.

Kagome beamed.

It didn't matter what age he was, it seemed.

Inuyasha always had a weakness against the almighty power of food.

…

Downstream where the waters were calmer and the slums were well out of view, Kagome watched as the river carried her soap bubbles away down the current. The cold that day was more refreshing than uncomfortable; there wasn't any ice on the water yet, but she knew it wasn't far off. Not far away, Inuyasha was diligently scrubbing away all that remained of his mother's blood.

To give him a head-start on this new chapter of his life, she was going to make sure that he was fresh, clean, and fed, if nothing else.

After drying off on the puff of her pants, the priestess looked over to check on how the little boy was fairing. His hands, still submerged, had stopped moving, the suds long since washed away. In silence his eyes stared distantly off at the sky. There was a serene, haunted look about him that didn't belong on the face of a child so young. It was familiar—a look she'd seen on Toga, ageless and lost. More than ever before Kagome could see the physical likeness between the two; all but the slope of his jaw and the shape of his eyes belonged to his father.

Inuyasha must have had Izayoi's eyes.

"Little buddy, you okay?" She felt weird calling him by name, since they hadn't formally introduced themselves yet.

Zoned out, he didn't reply.

"Little buddy?" She tried again, and when he still didn't snap out of his trance Kagome flicked a single, playful, finger's worth of water in his direction.

It was only three or four droplets, but that was more than enough to startle the living daylights out of the half demon. He tripped backwards, landing on his butt, and patted his cloak down as if he were on fire before turning to look up at her, scorned and baffled.

"Sorry, sorry!" Kagome said, mortified. He didn't react like she'd expected him to—didn't giggle and splash her back like Shippo would have. Why would he? "I didn't mean to spook you. Are you okay?"

Inuyasha gave her a tentative nod.

How gently did Kagome need to tiptoe around this child? How did he mourn? How did he play? There were so many answers she didn't have, even though she felt like she should know him so well.

In reality, she knew nothing about him.

When Shippo's father was killed, he'd been quick to jump back. He coped discreetly by seeking physical contact; with coddling and snuggling close at night. Whenever he needed to cry, he cried, but most of the time he wore around his brave face and strength like a metal of valor.

Kagome had been more vocal. She cried for weeks for her missing papa, not truly understanding where he'd gone or how to cope with the empty chasm he'd left in her heart, but she was easy enough to console and still had the distraction of looking forward to a new baby brother. Every time that she cried, her mother was always right there to hold her close and chase away her fears. She always knew just what to say.

So far, though, Kagome hadn't seen Inuyasha cry.

He was dry eyed, scared, and wanting nothing more than for his mother to come back and find him.

To hold him, as mothers do.

Inuyasha looked cross-eyed down at his nose as the young woman reached towards him. He stiffened—too stiff to leap away—as she used the hem of her black sleeve to dab away a stray splatter of river water.

Smiling sadly, Kagome asked, "All clean?"

It was going to be different with him than it had been for herself and Shippo. Little Inuyasha was far more delicate. He'd shatter if she pushed him too quickly. And as much as she wanted to pull him close into a tight, comforting hug, Kagome refrained, knowing that it might only do more harm than good. She wouldn't force anything on him, wouldn't overstep his boundaries.

She wouldn't scare him away.

She just needed to be present, patient, and kind.

Because who knew the next time he'd have kindness in his life.

…

As promised, Kagome brought Inuyasha up to the street level to take a little walk after eating. He was nervous and clinging to his hood to keep it from falling down, but followed behind the girl that kept feeding him like a dutiful gosling. Every now and then he would duck to the opposite side of her legs and eventually Kagome realized that he was probably avoiding the people he'd tried to steal from.

Poor thing was on edge everywhere they turned, but she wasn't about to admonish him for doing what he needed to survive.

Instead, she tried distracting him.

"This festival is huge. Did you go to it last year?"

Inuyasha shook his head.

"No? Well, how about the shrine? Have you ever visited the shrine at the center of town? It's really pretty."

With a deep swallow, he hung his head to the watch the cobblestones pass beneath his feet. He peeked behind them real quick and then responded with a timidly murmured, "…I'm not supposed to go beyond the gate."

"Like… at all?" Again a shake. Kagome blinked. "You've never left the manor grounds before?"

Inuyashsa gripped the edges of his cloak closer to his face, tiny knuckles squished into his cheeks. Once more he shook his head the negative.

He'd lived his entire life locked away on the elder's compound? Was that the elder's decision… or his mother's? Was it for his protection, or for fear of local retaliation? Did he think that she was going to get him in trouble for running away? Was that why he was acting so skittish?

No… that wasn't it.

Suddenly Kagome realized something—understood why Inuyasha was cowering from the crowd. It wasn't just the pockets he'd picked that had him on edge. It was more even than the murder he'd witnessed. Every single thing around him was new and strange and unknown. He'd never been taught how to interact in public society, among so many people, and quite frankly, that explained a lot.

He was a little piglet, tossed into the ocean and told to swim.

Kagome paused when something didn't quite feel right and the soft pitter-patter of his feet had gone silent. She turned around to find he'd stopped walking a little ways back, his hands clasped tight over where his ears were hidden. He was shivering.

Walking back to meet him, the young woman crouched down to his level. "Are all the people too loud?"

At her question he shook his head. He looked around them at the crowd, looked up at the sky and down at the ground—at everything but her. She let him and waited.

"I'm scared." He admitted in a voice of fragile sugar paper when he found the courage to speak.

Kagome nodded. "Me too." She told him quietly. And she was; she was terrified, for him. He met her gaze and saw truth there. Biting her lip, Kagome offered him a spectral smile. "I'm scared, too. But that's okay, because right now we have each other."

Then she held out a hand for him, not at all expecting him to take it.

To her surprise, he did.

Hesitantly, the tiny half demon child eyed her outstretched fingers before slowly, gently, meeting her halfway. He laid his paw atop her palm; his hand was so small, it was almost as small to her as her own hand was to Toga's.

So grateful for that leap of trust, Kagome enclosed her fingers and gave him a light squeeze.

Progress.

"Everything is going to turn out alright." She promised, knowing that it wasn't a solution to his immediate troubles, but unable to lie. "You are going to do great."

…

The longer they walked about, the higher the sun rose in the trellis of the sky until eventually it hit its peak. The people in the streets grew denser as the bulk of the festival goers began to emerge once more. Inuyasha looked about at them, his initial terror gradually settling to meek curiosity.

Before, he'd been at knee height and alone, too scared to look up, too worried that the bad person would come back to take him away, to hurt him, too. He'd run between the legs of a hundred nameless, faceless strangers—running, always running. He never got the chance to really look at where he'd been or what was around him or who.

With the nice priestess beside him, Inuyasha was able to get his first real glimpse of the city. That curiosity of his turned to confusion then something like awe when the first of the masks came out.

While each painted face was unique, to him they all seemed the same.

In those masks the people all looked different. He was different. They all looked like him.

Beneath his hood an ear twitched and he stared off at the crowd from his bench where the lady stopped them for a snack break. He soured their faces, their animal-like ears, and the street until discovering the source of the phenomena.

When he turned to the lady priestess she was staring up at the clouds in the sky, her eyes alight and lost far away. It was a familiar sight; his mother sometimes had that same look when she stared off from their deck, on the days when she wasn't sad. He didn't really understand what it was, but he liked it.

A tug at her sleeve was quick to garner her attention.

"What's wrong?" She asked automatically as she faced him. Now her face carried a different look—one without the fear or anger that others usually had, without irritation. Again, it reminded him of his mother, that way she was looking at him as if she wanted to hug him and maybe even cry.

That was a look he didn't like.

It made him feel weird, like he'd done something wrong.

Inuyasha broke his gaze from the food lady and pointed across the sea of people to a stand on the other side of the road. He stumbled over his words, fearing that he might be asking a bad question. "W—what are those for?"

The priestess followed his index finger to the display that showcased the carved faces of animals and beasts, painted mostly in whites, reds, purples, and golds.

"Oh, those? Those are festival masks." She explained to him without malice, flashing a smile that was pretty and nice before turning back up to look at the clouds. "Most people say they're used to scare away the evil spirits and bring good luck. But others believe that they allow the gods and good spirits to walk among humans during celebrations. You know, so they can enjoy the party too."

After she said that the woman froze. He stiffened beside her in response.

He asked the wrong thing, didn't he? It was bad, wasn't it?

Was she going to be angry with him?

On reflex, the little half demon flinched when she dropped her bun to the ground. Then she jumped to her feet. Startled, he toppled backwards over the other side of the bench. He needed to scramble to keep his hood from falling off. His mother told him to always keep his ears hidden if he ever left the manor—he had to keep hidden!

The priestess spun to face him and Inuyasha feared the worst, but there wasn't anger there. This time when she turned to him she had an electric smile stretched across her entire face. It was enormous and genuine and happy.

"That's it! I know what we can do!" She exclaimed. "You're a genius!"

Did he… say something good?

Inuyasha reeled. He didn't know what it was, but it had to be a good thing…

Right?

End Chapter