A/N: I've decided that instead of doing a long chapter every two weeks, I'm gonna do a smaller chapter every week, so here it is, Hope you enjoy 3. Also PLEASE REVIEW AND FOLLOW AND FAVORITE!

Riley's POV

When we get into Walgreens, I'm not so sure where to go. I mean, how could I be? I never expected to almost get pregnant. Maya is with me now, and we wander through the aisles, until we finally find the right one. Farkle wanted to come in with us, but I told him no. I didn't even want Maya to, but she insisted. She said I needed moral support, but it felt more like she thought if I came alone, I would kill myself. Which, for the record, I would never do, right? And I could also tell that Farkle didn't actually want to come with us, and I wasn't gonna make him.

We wander aimlessly through the aisle looking at all the different products, until we come to the two I need. Pregnancy tests, and Plan B Step. Geez, these words shouldn't even be going through my brain. "What about this one?" Maya asks pointing to the least expensive one.

"No. It has to be a good one."

"Why don't we get two to be sure." Ugh. I don't want one let alone two.

"But that's too expensive." I say in a whiney tone.

"It's best, and farkle is giving us some of his dad's millions of dollars. I'm sure he won't care whether you buy 2 or 5." I know she's right, but it just doesn't feel right.

"Ok fine." We decide on two middle priced ones, that look very efficient. I really wish Lucas was here with me to tell me that everything is gonna be ok, or that he loves me, but I have to learn to be without him, at least for a little while.

Next we go to the Plan B Step area, and do the same thing. For the rest of the time I am quiet, not saying a single word. I try to mute Maya's small words with the cashier, and avoid the stares he giving me. After that, we walk out into the warm, muggy air, and into the car. I carefully sit down on the worn leather seats, and continue to mute the world. What would other people think if they knew what had happened to me? I guess I must've done better than I thought muting the world because I suddenly hear, "Riley!"

"What, What? I'm just trying to think."

Maya sighs heavily, "Are you nervous?"

"For what? The part where I find out if I'm pregnant by my raper, which is a big possibility, or the part where I break up with my boyfriend, who I'm not sure I can live without?"

"We're serious Riley, we both love you." Farkle says.

"I know I'm sorry, I love you guys too. I guess I am just a little on the edge. I hope I never hear from A again. And I don't know how to raise a kid."

"You don't have to raise a kid Riley, you could get an ab-. "

"No she cannot! She is much more responsible." Farkle says.

"I'm not saying that she has to have an abortion. She could always give it up for adoption." Farkle winces at the word. He must have some history with it, I'll ask him later.

"I don't know guys. How could I do that? Work so hard and just give it up after I've fallen in love with it? Whatever. We don't even know that I'm pregnant yet."

"Yes I think we should decide then, but whatever you do choose, whether it's an abortion or not, we will support you." Farkle says, making a weird noise after the word abortion.

I notice that we drive by Maya's building, and I'm slightly confused. That is till I realize that they're taking me somewhere where I can take my mind off of things. You could drag me to Disneyland, and I still wouldn't be able to shut my mind off, or even just feel happy, and carefree like I once did. Farkle decides to turn on the radio, and Rihanna's Take a Bow comes on. It's usually one of my favorite songs, but now the lyrics just make me angry.

I love the song, but I've just had enough. "Will someone please tell me where we are going now? Why can't we just go back to Maya's?" I say a bit irritated that it is taking so long for them to tell me why they are holding me hostage.

"Because we have to figure out the Lucas brea-" Farkle starts.

"The Lucas thing." Maya interrupts. I love how my friends are helping me sort this stuff out. Even if I don't want to. They know that in the long run this is the right choice for me, and they wouldn't let me and my silly short term emotions get in the way.

"Wherever we go, can we please stay in the car. It's getting chilly out."

"Yeah sure Riles." We hear a beep, and we all go dead silent again. This time it comes from Farkle's phone. He pulls us over to the side of the little dirt road we somehow wandered onto, and we wait patiently for him to read the message.

"Grab your clothes and get gone, you better hurry up, before my sprinklers come on. Time is ticking...A"

"Just great." Maya says sarcastically. "How long ago did you get the text Riley?" Maya asks now concerned.

"This morning right after Lucas and I… Never mind." I pause, not wanting to remember my weakness.

"What did you-" We suddenly hear a whooshing sound, coming from outside the car, and outside all four windows. We look outside, and we see water shooting towards the car. Suddenly, the liquids are pressing so hard against the windows, I feel the glass about to break.

"Farkle drive!" Maya shouts. Farkle hits the gas, and we lurch forward. For a minute I'm scared because we can't see where we're going. The water continues to cover the windshield, and I pray that we don't drive over a cliff. Finally, after a few more minutes of driving around aimlessly, the water finally recedes. With a sharp jerk from the brakes, the car stops, and I can finally see where we've been headed to.

We're headed toward a big shade of navy blue. It kinda looks like a cliff. The road, and then just nothing, before a large crescent moon. We make our way along the long winding road, and as we get closer the the blue, I read the signs on the side of the road, along the short little wooden fence. Many of them say 'dangerous shorebreak', or 'hazardous large waves', but none of these seem as bad a what I'm facing right now.

We finally set the car in park, and I take a look around. I used to always come here with my friends, or even my parents when something was bugging me. I love the beach. The way the calm ocean wave sounds helped me calm down, or the way the sun beat down, providing a relaxing jacuzzi feeling. But the sun was not here right now, and the waves we're crashing so dangerously, that the sounds scared me like the sound of fireworks to a small, frightened child.

Although it's freezing out, I decide to hop out of the car anyway, and make my way over to the edge of a cliff, where only one, shabby, rickety wooden fence secludes me from the roaring waves of the miraculous Ocean. I think about all the times I've been here with Maya, and all the 'important' things we talked about then, which don't seem nearly important to what we talk about now. All those long hours discussing every possible way to get Lucas to look at me, or Josh to talk to Maya, or even all those days when Missy was around. She still is, but it isn't as bad since me and Lucas got serious. I guess that even though I won't admit it, and even though it's so deep down you can't find it with a microscope, that Lucas going back to Missy is my biggest fear at the moment. I guess I can now add that to A, rape, A, dumping Lucas, and did I mention A?

Dead in my train of thought, Maya makes her way to my side, and puts an arm around me. "Thanks. I needed this."

"Remember when we came here when your brother started dating Mia, that one summer." Ahh, I remember. A few summers ago, when Maya still wildly crushed on my brother, he never even noticed her. He started dating this really popular, rude girl named Mia. Did I forget to say that she was extremely gorgeous? She had everything, the looks the body, the grades, the popularity, and even the money. Not to mention that she had every guy chasing after her. I hate to admit it, but at the time, I think that Josh really liked her. Anyway, Maya was heartbroken, especially after she found out that Mia took Josh's virginity. She was so mad, and I was afraid she would take her anger out on some else, or worse herself, so I took her here. She was so angry, that she threw hundred upon hundreds of rocks into the ocean, it was almost like she was throwing her anger into the abyss as well.

"Yeah, you were so upset." I say trying to suppress a smile. I just realize that we've been out for hours, and I haven't even contacted Lucas, or Josh to inform them that I'm ok. I pull out my phone, and start to type Lucas's phone number into the keypad. Maya notices this, and in one swift move she intercepts my cell phone.

"What are you doing?" Maya asks, holding my cell phone barely out of my reach. I see the look in her eyes, and know that she is just being a concerned friend, but why does she care whether I call my boyfriend or not? I better just use these last few hours to my advantage. I think of it as stocking up. I need to get enough of Lucas to go into hibernation. How much easier would everyone's life be if I was just killed instead of raped? I'm starting to regret falling for lucas. He could've had any girl he wanted. One with good looks, or money, or sanity, or even some sort of sense of security. I don't have, and can't provide any of those things for him anymore.

"I need to call Lucas and tell him that I'm ok." I say, hoping she doesn't make me explain my previous thought to inherit my phone back.

"No! You cannot call Lucas. Just call Josh."

"But then Lucas will be confused, and upset, because it doesn't seem like something that I would do!" I counter.

"No! It will make it harder for him to move on. Isn't that what you want? At least for a little while?" She says, questioning my moves and my motives.

"You don't understand! I need to get more of Lucas before he goes away!"

"What are you talking about, Riley!"

"He's gonna leave, and go to Missy!" I say. I finally get the stance to grab my phone back. I start to dial Lucas's number, but Maya doesn't stop me. Instead she places both of her hands on mine, and holds them still for a moment. The heat from the moment causes my eyes to well up with tears, though they never actually fall. I can't believe that this is my reaction. I should be helping him. Who gives a fuck about what happens to me, as long as he survives. But isn't being happy also important? When he was with Missy, he wasn't the same. I know I can give him some things that she can't. I hope that he doesn't argue with that when we do break up later on tonight, I wouldn't know how to rebuttal.

"You're scared that he's gonna leave you for Missy?"

"Yeah." I say quietly, knowing my strong, confident voice will fail me.

"He wouldn't do that to you. And I know that you know that you shouldn't call Lucas, so why are you?"

"I'm not." I state matter of factly. I redial Josh's number, and show it to Maya. She looks accomplished and proud.

"Riley! Are you ok? You haven't called!" Josh says frantically.

"Yeah I know I'm sorry. Maya and Farkle needed to get me away for a while."

"What? Where are you?" He says curiously.

"Just the beach."

"Oh. Where you went when I was dating Mia?"

"How do you know." I asked surprised yet happy.

"Riley, Maya and I don't keep secrets." after those mere few words, I get this shaky feeling in my stomach. Should I have just told Lucas about A? Am i a horrible person for lying?

"Riley are you paying attention?" Josh says somewhat annoyed. I guess I just floated out into space.

"Yeah sorry. I needed to ask you, what are we gonna do about mom and dad?" I hear arguing in the background, and there's Lucas's loud and strong voice that I know so well.

"Lucas wants to talk to you." I can't let him do that, he'll be heartbroken, so I say the first thing that pops up. I need a better filter.

"No, I don't want to talk to him right now. I need to know though, Mom and Dad are gonna ask me what I did this weekend."

"I know you don't think it's right, but I still think you should tell them the truth."

"I can't do that, at least not yet."

"Ok then lie. Tell her what we've been up to, without actually telling her."

"Okay, thanks Josh, love you."

"Love you too." He says, and his voice is so sincere, that it makes my heart glow.

"Maya, it's time to go." I say loud enough for Farkle to hear me, wishing I could stay at the beach a little longer.

We get in the car, and on the drive home, I think about what I'm gonna say. Once we get to Maya's street, get so nervous, that I blank and forget everything. All that half hour drive, gone, lost, never to be heard of again. We park the car, and just sit in it for a while. "Let's just get this over with." Farkle says, obviously annoyed with the situation. Sometimes I forget that he's also best friends with Lucas. It just seems like I knew him first, and he was literally in love with Maya and I, equally. I just thought that he was a little biased towards Maya and I over Lucas, but I guess I was wrong. He clearly cares about Lucas just as much. So much that he is hurting him to keep him safe. I'm startled when suddenly Maya and Farkle get out of the car first. My eyes blink at a million per minute to hold back tears. I laugh a little at myself, "I can't believe I'm about to do this."

"Me neither. If you and Lucas don't last, then I might as well just start crying over Josh."

"No! I won't let A do that to you guys. My relationship is one thing, but hurt my bestfriend, and you're dead meat!" I say angry as hell. I guess I now know what Lucas sees when he becomes Texas Lucas. I'm seeing red, and I'm breathing so hard, that Maya gets scared that I'm having a heart attack.

"Riley, just breath… Farkle!" Farkle runs over, and looks concerned.

"What's happening!"

"Maya I'm fine!" I roar, why is she making a big deal about this?

"Maya chill, she's fine. Riley just calm down. This is your body's way of having an anxiety attack. You need to calm down and breathe, it will pass." I do what Farkle says, and turn out fine.

We walk into the building. Maya looks at me in awe, as if I was some shiny new penny. I guess I'm just irritated by everything these days. We get into the elevator, because my body is too tired to walk up the stairs. When we get into the small-spaced cubicle, I start shaking. With there only being seconds left before I see Lucas. Maya grabs my hand, squeezes it, and lets it go, as if to signify that she'll be there to help me afterward, but right now it's all on me. It is the most awkward walk of my life. Farkle and Maya are avoiding each other's eyes, and my gaze, while I'm just trying to hold in my emotions, and keep myself from breaking. Maya knocks on the door, and we wait in silence for someone to let us in. Josh opens the door, and I swear when he does, Maya gasps. She jumps up in his arms to give him a hug, and he buries his head in her hair, and breathes. I smile, at least in all of this, they got each other.

Lucas looks like he wants me to do the same thing, but I shove past him, and into Maya's room. I pack up all my stuff, and shove it into one of Maya's old raggedy backpacks. I walk back into the kitchen to see that Maya got the memo, and everyone has left except Lucas. I assume that they all went down to the cars, except Maya who volunteered to wait behind, to help me put myself back together again. I get into the kitchen, and I walk slowly, as if one wrong move will end everything, which it very well might. Lucas can probably tell that something is wrong. I'm so nervous at first, but when I start talking, it all goes away because I know that this will ensure his safety.

"I know that you don't completely understand why I left, but that was because I wasn't ready to tell you."

"I don't understand, I thought we were able to tell each other everything." He says honestly.

"How do you tell someone you're not in love with them anymore." I say finally meeting his gaze. He looks shocked, but I know that it will ware off, and I don't want to be near him when it does.

"Riley. Don't do this. I know you love me."

"I really don't. I haven't for a long time, but I didn't know how to say it." I know he's looking for an explanation, so I think quickly. "I have just realized that with me getting raped, I want to be with the one I love, but it isn't you." He looks even more shocked, and then angry, but most of all sad. I noticed he cringed when I said the word rape, I guess this really affected him, which I don't want. I want him to be happy. And little does he know he's the one I love.

"Is it something I did?" I know my answer doesn't make sense to him, but It's all I got at the moment.

"Yes. I have to go, my ride's waiting."

"I don't believe you." I don't blame him, he knows me too well, which is one of the things I love about him.

"Lucas, please. You don't think this is hard for me? It is! But you're making things difficult, so please, just don't talk to me ever again." I walk towards the door when Lucas grabs my hand.

"Wait is it because of someone else?" I translate this to, are you in love with someone else? But I also take in the literal meaning, and technically, A is making me do it, and they're someone else. Out of everything: the rape, the possible pregnancy, and A, this is the hardest thing yet. And I know what he needs to hear, what will make him move on.

"Yes, there is." And with that I stock out of the apartment, after confronting the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.