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Strangled Time

Chapter 60

Several long hours came and went without pause as Kagome and Saburo traveled the wide, winding cart path out of the city limits. No breaks, no breathers. They probably would have kept trudging forward on autopilot, too, if they hadn't happened across the tea house.

It was an old building, unassuming and plain. Small, with only enough space inside for a single table and just two outdoor benches beneath an awning in the front. At first it seemed odd that it was in the complete middle of nowhere, since it was so far from the last of the houses and fields they'd passed, but once they saw that it was right on the crossroads between the eastern path from Chichibu and the southern road to Edo, it made sense to have a shelter there. That shop was probably a regular stop for merchants and travelers passing by, because after something like five hours of straight walking the temptation to rest there was almost impossible to ignore.

It also helped that the place smelled like absolute heaven.

Kagome and Saburo allowed themselves to be lured over to a bench where they could rest their tired feet and were greeted by a pleasantly plump young hostess. In the chilly winter afternoon, Kagome humored the woman's claims of having the best tea on that side of the mountain—they obviously had the only tea on that side of the mountain—and ordered something steaming and strong.

The woman left them alone for just a few minutes before delivering a filled and very hot earthenware teapot with two mugs. She poured them each their own cup then disappeared back behind the shop curtain. Kagome had only just picked up her drink and spun the mug around to see the little dancing raccoons and lotus leaves that had been painted beneath the glaze when the hostess returned with a plate covered in doughy cakes. This time she was ruffled and fidgeting. After placing the dish between the two travelers, she offered them a flustered bow and hustled once more inside the building.

A bush rustled beside them.

When Kagome looked there was nothing there but a little weathered stone statue covered in moss.

Turning back around, the priestess raised the cup to her lips with a small, knowing smile and blew away a white cloud of heat.

"What was that about?" Saburo asked as he snagged the first pastry. "She couldn't even look at ya th' second time. And she seemed, I don't know, less green? Is that a thing?"

She was both impressed and amazed that he was able to tell.

Izayoi's ghost had been telling the truth; spending time around humans and demons with power really was capable of giving normal, mundane people the spark of new senses. Saburo's fledgling sight was proof. He'd seen the glow of the black pearl and Kagome's purity, and now he was beginning to see even more.

Nodding, Kagome took a sip of her tea. "Yup." She said, then waited for the blacksmith to finish his snack and pick up his own mug for a drink. His also had lotus leaves painted on the side, paired with tiny dancing cats. Amused, she continued. "The first one didn't have as much control over her aura, so she was glowing a little. She's probably younger or less experienced. But the other one must have recognized that I'm a priestess, which made her nervous."

"Twins?" The guess was incorrect and he knew it as soon as he said it. After shaking out his long hair, Saburo leaned forward to rest an elbow on a knee and peered at her between black locks. "Demons?" He asked, hushed. The excitement that he was trying to squash in his tone was new, fascinating, and precious.

"With human glamours." She confirmed. "There's at least three of them, I think, but only two are playing hostess. It seems we happened to find a little tanuki house."

"Raccoon dogs?"

Another nod. "Raccoon dogs. They're a lot like kitsune, only fluffier. And, in my experience, a little more shy."

"Oh yeah?" Saburo glanced down at the pastries on the seat between them and then at the mug in his hands before settling on looking out across the road at the snowy blue forest. "Huh." He straightened up again and rested his back against the side of the building. Then, after taking a long, contemplative sip of the hot liquid in his hands, the man let his broad shoulders slump and relax. He grinned. "Well, they sure do make a damn fine cup of tea."

Letting the warm steam from the mug fill her nose and her lungs with its rich aroma, Kagome joined Saburo's gaze out into the peaceful woods.

She hummed.

"They really do, don't they?"

…

Finding rocks was more of a chore than usual that night when they set down to camp, since they weren't anywhere near a stony brook and the snow was deep enough to hide most of the things on the ground. Eventually, after a good search away from the road, Saburo managed to find a few good ones under a little alcove in the hillside. The alcove itself wasn't big enough to be a shelter, but it was just the right size for a fire, so the blacksmith worked on turning it into their hearth as Kagome puttered about the surrounding trees.

When she got to the base of the biggest pine near the pit, the young woman claimed its needle-covered dry spot as her nest and began to unravel her picnic tarp there beneath the branches.

"This is going to get totally covered in pine pitch, but at least it's out of the snow." She said as she used her bag as a counterweight to pull flat the folded creases. While her back was turned to him she added. "You know, there should be enough room for the both of us, if you don't mind being close. It'd be warmer that way."

The invitation would have been awkward even without the silence that'd been hanging over them like a gritty smog—the teahouse was a nice reprieve, but neither one of them had said more than a handful of words in the hours since and the lack of their third companion's witty banter was weighing heavy.

Guilt tore through him.

"Ah, Miss Kagome. I, uh, should probably better stay over here tonight." He was blushing as red as the setting sun and she saw it too, when she glanced over at him.

The priestess became flustered and spun back to unroll her sleeping bag. "I don't mean anything weird by it. Just that it's going to be really cold tonight. And it's not like we—"

"Miss Kagome."

"I mean, I'm sure you don't—"

"Miss Kagome." Saburo snipped to get her attention. Instantly she shut up. Her shoulders went stiff and her hands stopped messing with her bedroll. Feeling like the ass end of a wild boar, Saburo looked down at the cold rock that he was gripping. "There's somethin' I gotta come clean about."

His words hung in the dead air between them. Then there was a shifting of fabric as she turned. He didn't meet the gaze of her blue eyes, but he could feel them scoring tracks across his skin as she sought answers in his tense posture.

"What do you mean?" She finally asked him.

She was going to hate him.

But she deserved to know. Saburo needed to stop hiding behind half-truths and lies.

Before he could talk himself out of it, the large blacksmith took a deep, wind-shaking breath, closed his eyes, and finally admitted to her his crime.

"I followed you and th' demon Lord out here not 'cause I wanted ta help him… I followed ya 'cause... I was planning ta kill him, Kagome."

He could hear the delicate rosebud sound of her lips parting.

Air left her lungs.

"But why would you do that?"

He knew that soft bewilderment in her voice was only temporary. It was almost predictable, the countdown to her outburst. Bracing himself, his heart, and his own inevitable temper, Saburo held out and ticked off the seconds in his head to their impending doom. Six, seven, eight—

Sure enough, Kagome's anger and horror flared to life like the festering bonfire that her bottled emotions had been bound to become.

"You shut up." The priestess hissed even though he hadn't said anything else. "That isn't funny, Saburo. Why would you even—?" She realized then with a snap that he wasn't joking. "You—what? You were planning on killing...no, you were going to murder him?!What, because he was a demon? Just like all the other crazy villagers, was that all you saw?! Was that all he even was to you!? Just a demon to kill?"

"At th' start…yeah."

"Why?! You didn't even know him then!" She shrieked. "He was already injured! You saw from day one; he couldn't even walk on his own! What the hell did Toga ever do to you to deserve you trying to kill him while he was already dying?!"

"He murdered my father." Saburo interjected.

The dark, throaty knife of his words sank deep into Kagome's larynx, cutting off her heated storm before she could fully get to her feet and round on him.

Kagome fell back down to her knees and stared.

Saying nothing, she demanded he explain.

So Saburo told her everything.

He cleared his throat and then, in a voice much calmer than he expected to hear, he exposed his own version of the story she knew so well. "On that night fifteen years ago—th' one where Togashimaru fought at th' castle fer Lady Izayoi—there were a lot of people that died. Lots of village men. Men who weren't meant ta be fightin'. Takemaru was in charge of th' castle guard, but he only had five er six men watchin' that night. All th' rest were gone away to the Capitol fer th' season with the manor's Lord—Izayoi's father. When Takemaru heard news that Izayoi was goin' inta labor, he knew that the dog demon was gonna show up. And knowin' how few they were, he called on th' village men fer help."

Sighing, Saburo brushed frost from the rough edges of his rock. The priestess didn't interrupt, but he was too big a coward to turn back and face her. "My father was always quick ta help and he always did respect Lord Takemaru. They'd even been friends; my father was th' smith who made all the red samurai's swords. So it was only natural fer him ta be th' first ta volunteer. He rallied the men and left us behind so he could go guard th' princess. He thought he was doin' somethin' noble. I always thought he was doin' somethin' noble. But then th' demon came and the castle burned, and at the end he never came home."

When Kagome still didn't comment, Saburo kept going, filling in every nook and cranny and gap. "At th' time I was proud of him. I thought he did th' right thing. People kept tellin' us how right a sacrifice it was. How great a man he was. But I was still so angry at Togashimaru for takin' him away. When you told me that Togashimaru was still alive… I wanted ta finally set things right. I'd never get my father back, but I coulda got justice. I coulda finally proved that I was more than just some half-baked, talentless, middle son of a dead man... There were seven of us kids, Kagome. You know how hard it was watchin' our mother bring up seven of us on her own? Ichiro was only thirteen when he became the town's only blacksmith. None of us had a childhood after that."

"And that makes it okay?" He heard her sniff. "Your dad chose to fight a demon, so that gave you the right to try and kill my friend? Toga only did what he had to do to save Izayoi and Inuyasha."

"...I know."

"What, were you going to kill him while I was sleeping? And tell me what? That he mysteriously stabbed himself in the middle of the night? Do you really think I would have believed that? You're horrible. You don't just take out revenge on someone when you don't even know all the details."

"I know," He replied more firmly. "But I thought I did. At the time it seemed like th' thing ta do. Fer my family. Fer you—"

"Don't you dare bring me into this!" Kagome snapped.

"You are in it, Kagome! Yer at the heart of all o' this!"

Branches rustled behind him and Saburo swiftly rose to his feet. When he spun he was chest to nose with the little priestess. He dropped his rock and caught her by the wrists before she could shove him back. Furious tears marked tracks down her face and her entire body was tight to the point of shaking.

"I thought you coulda been in danger." He tried for calm, but his voice betrayed his emotion with fissures of regret. "Please, just listen. I wasn't gonna stand by and do nothin' while th' same thing that happened to my father happened ta you, too. I spent so many years bein' so angry and when I met you—"

She closed her eyes and tried to pull away. "Stop it!"

Saburo held firm and still. "—When I met you, I realized that there was more ta life than bein' angry. More ta th' world than just wallowin' in the smithy."

"Stop it!" Kagome cried. "You were going to murder my friend! You used me to get close to him for revenge!"

"Yer right." He admitted.

Kagome stopped struggling. Opening her eyes, she stared down at the scuffed up ground at their feet.

"I did that. I followed you and I used you and it was wrong. But if I hadn'ta done it, I woulda never gotten ta know either of ya like I did. I woulda never learned how great a guy Togashimaru was."

When her shoulders drooped and her fists loosened, Saburo let her wrists go. Kagome's arms swung limp to her sides, but still she didn't look at him. Even when she stood and straightened herself up, she didn't look at him. Saburo hated how much her anger stung, but she was entitled to that anger. More entitled than he ever was. His original intent for joining their journey was unforgivable and she had every right to be repulsed by him.

Hindsight bit Saburo in the ass when he realized that he could have saved that conversation until after they got back into Edo; he wasn't exactly the brightest cookie in the workshop.

Then again, even as he wanted to take back every single word he just spewed, the blacksmith couldn't have felt more relieved to finally have that slimy leech off his chest.

But Kagome...

She looked like she wanted to scream. She was choked with tears and distrust. When one of the sobs that she'd been holding back finally came out as a hiccup, the priestess wrapped her arms around herself and turned away from him. Saburo wanted to reach out and touch her back to offer her some sort of comfort. He didn't. He knew better than to touch her right then. She needed space. She needed time.

She needed to be away from him.

Scratching uncomfortably at the hairs on the back of his neck, Saburo said, "I'm... gonna go collect some firewood. I'm not gonna force ya to stay with me. So if yer not here when I get back... I understand. I'll drop off th' furs to th' kitsune village and keep goin' on my way."

Buzzed with the fuzzy tingle of adrenaline and dread, the large human man stepped away to grab his hammer from his pack sack and then turned to walk deeper into the forest.

Before he could pass Kagome's pine tree, her voice ran down his spine.

It was hollow, lost, and cold.

"The villagers and your father only put themselves in Toga's way because they believed Takemaru's hate and lies. You wanted justice? Takemaru's dead. And so is Toga. Congratulations, Saburo. You've got your justice."

His grip around the long wooden shaft of his hammer tightened, but he didn't turn back to her. Normally he would have felt the familiar spark of anger well up within him at words as sharp as those, but he didn't feel it this time. That festering anger that had been a part of him for so long just wasn't there anymore. It'd disappeared, somewhere back in Chichibu, and now he didn't quite know how he was supposed to cope without it.

Instead of replying, Saburo kept moving.

He didn't want to know what he might of said to her and he most certainly didn't want to make things worse than they already were.

But more than that, Saburo kept walking away because he didn't want Kagome to see just how easily a woman as small as her had been able to make him cry.

Chapter End

[Tsarashi – Hello everyone! I'm so sorry that this chapter is so late, I've been put on some new medicine lately that makes it almost impossible for me to concentrate and I've been fidgeting at my computer for almost two weeks now. This might make my updates a little less reliable or shorter for a bit, but please bare with me.

In story news, I want everyone to know that Strangled Time is going to be wrapping up here very soon! We are in the end-zone and while I don't know exactly how many chapters we're going to come to, it is going to be less than 70. When that final chapter comes through, though, remember that there is going to be an epilogue after it! I hope to make it a good one that wraps everything up and leaves you satisfied with this wild ride I've taken you on.

THANK YOU ALL for reading and enjoying this story, I truly appreciate you and all of your reviews. Soon I plan to make some accompanying SONG PLAYLISTS for this, so if you happen to have any songs that you think fit the tone, events, or characters, please let me know and I'll see about adding them! There will be two separate lists: one for all the events that occur BEFORE arriving in Chichibu, and one for everything that happens AFTER arriving in Chichibu. There's a drastic shift in tones between these arcs and some post-Chichibu songs might be considered spoilers in the pre-Chichibu, so be sure to specify which list you'd want your songs in!

Again, thank you for joining me on this adventure and I look forward to seeing it to the end with you~]