I own nothing. All rights belong to E.L. James
Another fucking day here. I don't get understand the reasons for being here when I'm already failing five out of my six classes and it's only September. What's worse is that it is a shitty little private school that my dad found after spent months researching the best schools in our area. I sigh he always has such high hopes for me. I head to my locker and when I glance over my shoulder I see a couple of pretty girls around Mia's age looking at me and blushing. They only know the pretty face that's what attracts them. If they only knew the ugliness beneath they'd run away screaming from me like the monster I am. I can't understand love for myself. I see couples laughing and looking at each other with love. The looks they give each other are crazy but I can not understand love itself. I don't think I would be able to love someone else. My family is a different story, I love them but I can't explain it. I can't show it. It's hard to watch people hug each other and kiss each other when you don't understand it because you've never experienced it. I'm so fucked up that if someone tried to do that to me I'd either run away screaming or just resort to beating the shit out of them. I can't even be touched that's how disgusting I am. I remember once when I was seven my mom had a huge party at our lake house. One of her friends came to hug me and I screamed like I was in pain and ran. My mother was horrified but she knows how damaged I was. It isn't her fault and it kills me when I see the pain on her face because she can't touch me, but it is something I can't do. I like my space and I like not to be touched. I've been touched before but not the kind of touch anyone would want. I've been kicked, punched, beaten with a belt the point of being covered in whelps, used as an ashtray .. and the list goes on. Maybe this is why I'm so fucked up in the head. This thought fills me with rage as I remember who did this to me and I blame the crack whore once again. I can even blame her for giving birth to me in the first place. My life is just never ending pain and anger. And nightmares. Oh the fucking nightmares. I can't even find peace when I sleep. They're recurring and happen every night. I dream of being abused again and it kills me because I have no control over the dream. All I can do is just take the beating helplessly. Then I wake up screaming alerting my family of my pain. When Elliot was home he used to sleep with me after my nightmares but now that he is gone I am alone. I know my mother comes to check on me after she thinks I've fallen asleep and sometimes she even sits down and touches my hand. What she doesn't know is I don't sleep after having a nightmare I can't feel that torture again.
The girls are whispering to each other and one girl takes a step toward me with fear on her face. She continues to walk towards me but I can't let her anywhere near me so I just walk away. I hear her gasp and I know I've hurt her feelings but if she knew me she would be thanking me instead.
"Hey little bro" Elliot smiles as he is standing outside waiting for me after school.
"what are you doing her Elliot?" I ask him, Shouldn't he be in class right now?
"I'm here to take my brother to his first day of work at his ne job. He could maybe stop being an ass about it" Elliot jokes, Elliot then notices a group of girls staring at us.
"I think you have some admirers Christian. Do you want me to get their numbers for you? You could use you know"
"Fuck off Elliot" I say trying to hide my smile as I get into the car.
"I need to ask you a serious question Christian" Elliot starts "Are you a virgin?"
My mouth drops open. "I'm not going to answer that Elliot"
"If you are it's ok I didn't loose mine until I was fifteen. You can ask me any question you need to"
"I think you'll be the last person Ill come to for advice unless it's about crabs or herpes"
Elliot laughs and even I crack a smile.
"How's WSU? Aren't you supposed to be in Chem right now?"
"Yeah skipping school to be here is not really going to affect me. Besides Professor Wells is not my biggest fan"
"Can you blame him?"
"No I actually don't think I can. Who wouldn't be intimidated by a six foot tall blond god who gets more in a week than he does in his life"
"Of course Elliot" I smirk
"Stay safe. Call me if you need any advice. Use condoms" Elliot says as he drops me off. I shoot him the finger and I walk down the driveway. As I approach the Lincoln home, I notice all the renovations taking place outside. It seems they are adding on another section to the house. As I walk to the door I hear screaming and shouting. Should I even knock? I guess I have to do it in an attempt to please my parents. I ring the door bell and wait but no one comes to the door. Well there goes that.. I smirk. I turn to leave but as I do I hear the door open and am warmly greeted by a brunette middle aged woman. "Hi dear may I help you?" she asks.
" Yeah um I supposed to be doing some yard work for the Lincoln…. I'm Christian Grey."
"Oh yes, come on in sweety. The Lincoln's are in their study I walk you to them."
In the study I am met by a tense Mr. Lincoln who grips my hand firmly after introducing himself. He turns to introduce his wife and I finally get a glance at her. My jaw almost drops when I see her. She's tall, has an amazing rack, beautiful legs and blonde hair that falls beneath her shoulders. She's fucking hot I think to myself. She holds her hand out for me "Elena Lincoln"
When she shakes my hand I can see her eyeing me up and smirking. I feel at a loss for words and all I can think of is to say my name.
"cc c Christian Grey" I stutter.
"I know sweety" she smirks. I don't remember if I already told her my name or not. Mr. Lincoln then leads me out of the study and gives me an official tour of the renovations. I have half a mind to tell him I don't give a flying fuck about it. I'd just rather get my work and do it but seeing as he is my new boss I don't think it would be too good of an idea. Finally the tour ands and he shows me the yard. I groan as I look upon what appears to be a junkyard. There is debris everywhere. Mr. Lincoln also tells me I can assist with the landscaping once all the debris is cleared out. He hands me a pair of gloves, trash bags, and a rake and then walks back inside without another word. He leaves me shocked and pissed off because I don't take being treated as shit pretty well but I need to try for my parents not to cause trouble. I start to rake the debris and stuff it into the trash bags.
Two hours later I'm sweating and it looks as if nothing has been done. It is a fucking hell hole here. I start to wonder if this is even worth it. Could I convince my parents to let me work somewhere else? Out of the corner of my eye I see Mrs. Lincoln carrying a glass of lemonade in her hand and walking toward me. Thank fuck for that because I am really thirsty.
"How's the yard work going honey? Barbra made you some lemonade"
I take the lemonade and feeling pissed I say "How the fuck does it look?"
My face is met by the hand of Elena Lincoln. She slaps me as hard as she can and my face is already thinking.
I stare at her shocked but what she does next shocks me more. She grabs my face and crashes her lips onto mine. Her mouth dominates mine and all too quickly it ends. Her hand comes up for another slap and then she turns away and walks straight back into the house. She leaves me stunned, excited and a little turned on. I feel the spot she has just slapped and just stand there. No one has ever slapped me like that but strangely I liked it. No one has ever kissed me before let alone like that. It was like she was hungry and was feeding off of my lips. Strangely I really liked that too and did not care that she touched me.
The house maid, whom I now know as Barbra, interrupts these thought. "Mr. Grey I think it is ok for you to go home now. Mr. Lincoln says that you are to stay two hours a day three times a week and I am to check your progress before I dismiss you. I can call someone to pick you up if you need me to"
"Thank you" I whisper and walk out towards the driveway. Barbra calls my dad and he arrives within twenty minutes. I can't stop thinking about her. She's gorgeous. The way she kissed me was amazing it was like a weight of anger was being lifted off my shoulders. I smile as I get into the car.
"Well you seem to be in a happy mood" he exclaims.
I nod my head and continue to smile. I start to wonder what my dad would think if he found out but I can't think about that right now. I just had my first kiss.
"I hope this cheery mood continues into your appointment with Dr. Ross"
"I have an appointment today?" I ask confused.
"In about thirty minutes. I thought we might have to cancel it today but it seems like you finished in perfect timing. You can let Dr. Ross know about your new job and how it might help you let off some steam"
"I will dad" If I got kissed like that everyday I don't think there would be any anger left in my body.
We wait in the waiting room for my name to be called. For once I don't mind being here.
"Christian Grey. Dr. Ross will see you now" his assistant says. My happy mood leaves as I walk to his office and sit on the couch. Dr. Ross has a big book as my file and he is already taking notes
"Hello Christian how was school?" he asks me.
"How was your day Mr. Ross" I ask sarcastically and I rest my head on my hand acting like I am really interested.
"Christian this is not going to work if you don't answer the questions"
"What is not going to work Mr. Ross?"
"You need help Christian, you are a very troubled young boy" he answers/
"Thank you for pointing that out sir" I say.
He sighs. "Let's try something else. I heard you got into another fight at school yesterday. Do you want to talk about that?"
"Not really no"
"That's ok. I do recall speaking with the principal of your school yesterday who informed me that the fight started after an insult to your mother"
My smile fades.
"It is perfectly normal for a child to feel protective of their mother regardless of whether they knew them or not"
"You don't know what the fuck you are talking about"
"I understand what it is like to love my mother" He says.
I smirk. "My mother was a crack whore Ross. I did not love her if anything I hate her for giving birth to me"
"I'm sorry she died. Do you want to talk about that? It wasn't your fault and you couldn't have saved her. You were only a child."
I close my eyes as I remember seeing her dead body on the ground. I remember touching her and feeling her. Oh fuck. I stand up with rage pouring out of my body.
"Shut the fuck up" I shout
" Christian please sit down our session is not done yet"
"Fuck you Ross" I say as I storm out.
"Always a pleasure Mr. Grey" he remarks.
I see my dad waiting for me and he can see how tense I am.
"How did it go?"
"Perfect. Ross and I were just planning to head out for some drinks" I storm out of the building.
"Christian.."
"Dad I don't want to see him anymore. I don't need this kind of therapy. Obviously it is not helping me"
"Christian you know I love you" I tense at these words "I'm your dad I'm going to do everything in my ability to do what's best for you. Even if it's making you go to a therapist you do not like. I've researched all the therapists in our area and Dr. Ross is the best one within one hundred miles of us"
Wow then I must really be fucked up if even he can't help me. What hope is there for me?
"But I will research again to find others who you might connect to better"
I realize how hard he is trying for me.
"Thanks dad, I'm sorry about Ross"
He smiles. "Let's get home I think Wanda is going to let your mother cook tonight. It should be interesting" he jokes.
I head straight to my room and lay on my bed. All I can think about is Elena. I can't get her out of my head. Her kiss was electric. I am shocked that I didn't feel angry at her touching me, I actually felt calm. I realize that if there is any hope of fixing me it is her: it will be Elena Lincoln who fixes me.
Review please….. I'm trying to decide whether or not to continue this story