Author's note: NOTHING beyond Chapter 1 is a spoiler. It is purely a continuation of the leaks as I perceive it. It's another brain bug I had from the leaked audio. Chapter Two and on is purely fanfiction!
It sounded like Steven is fighting himself and depression from a loss of identity. AI am drawing from my own experience to write this. It does get dark, but not terribly so. I tried to keep it as in character as I could.
I fully expect therapy (or something like it) to be the end result for SUF. I don't think it will happen before the problem, though, as I don't think Rebecca and the SUF team will want the fanbase to see therapy as something that didn't help before the problem gets out of hand.
Enjoy!
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He didn't mean it. Any of it. He just wanted to feel needed again. To feel like he had a place among the world he helped create. If everything weren't so wrong, he might have laughed at the irony of that; he created a better universe and didn't know how to include himself in it.
Instead, everything was just a mess. A mess he created. One he had no idea how to fix; all he knew was being around them, seeing them succeed and being left behind, wasn't the answer.
Why would they want to talk to someone like you anyway, asked a small sinister voice in the back of his head. They don't have time for you. They won't be able to understand what you're going through. You're not the person they need you to be. How can you help them, when you can't even help yourself?
Steven's breath hitched as he shook his head and drew his knees close to his chest. These thoughts weren't new to him. He had them when he learned his mother "shattered" Pink Diamond. He had them when he turned himself in to Homeworld. He had them when he learned his mother was actually Pink Diamond. He had them when he tried to protect Connie by shutting her out.
But he could ignore them then. He always had another problem to distract himself. But now? He stared as his clenched fists and pulled his knees closer to his chest. Now, he was the problem.
He took a breath and allowed the ringing silence to set into his soul. The pink glow slowly faded from the room, though his skin was still wrought with the color. Downstairs, he knew the gems had given up trying to break his pink wall when he heard the front door slam.
It wasn't long before Steven heard the gems pounding on his glass sliding door and yelling at him.
"Steven, let us in!" Garnet said. "We can help you!"
His eyes snapped to the door. They didn't get it. He wanted to be alone. He needed it. It was helping him to be alone with his thoughts. Talking just hurt. They wouldn't understand. They would just reprimand him for feeling this way, yell at him for losing control, and then move on like it was fixed.
No, they can't help me, he thought. His mind was made up. He sat straight on his bed and grabbed at the sheets.
"Just take deep breaths, dude," Amethyst suggested. Steven could see her hand on the glass through his curtains. "We're here for you."
He shook his head and tears that he didn't feel cascaded down his face. What made them think he was so special? He wasn't worth their time. Not anymore. Sure, he used to be. Their attention, love and training used to bring out the best in him. But recently, it all ended in destruction.
He was tired of them thinking he needed them. Tired of them needing him. Tired of them not understand anything he was going through and not respecting him enough to give him space. Tired of not even understanding it himself.
"Steven, don't ignore us!" Garnet yelled again.
"GO AWAY!" Steven cried.
"Steven!" Pearl said, voice set. "We're coming in whether you like it or not."
"NO!" He was back on his feet and his room shook violently at the yell. Pink light burst from his gem and consumed his body. But it didn't stop there; the room glowed a deep pink in warning.
"Don't let it control you, Steven!" Garnet shouted again. Steven shook his head. Nothing was controlling him. Everything he felt, it was all his choice. His emotions. His power. And he could prove it.
"I said," Steven growled, his nails digging into his palms as he pulled out the heated power gnawing within him. "GO AWAY!" He lifted his hands to the air with strain, as if he was lifting something heavy and a new pink wall burst from the ground. The wall expanded into a dome and covered the entirety of the home. The gems staggered back, weapons now in their hands.
Weapons.
Steven took a step back and his knee buckled when it hit his mattress. He fell back onto the bed, face morphing into disbelief. What had Pearl said earlier? They had to stop this before someone got hurt.
No, not "this." Him. They had to stop him.
He stared at them; Pearl's spear held ready to defend herself, Amethyst's whip pulled back, and Garnet's fist pounding on the diamond wall.
"They…" he whispered. Everything faded from his vision except for the gray silhouette of the spear, the whip, and the gloves.
They were going to fight him. Him. Steven. The boy they helped raise. And why? Because he wanted to be alone. Because he was using his powers in a way they didn't like.
A weight seemed to land on his chest, knocking every inch of breath from his lungs. He couldn't breathe. The room spun and his stomach churned. He barely noticed curling up with his legs to his chest, hands in his hair and head on his knees.
He was the threat. He was the monster they were trying to fight. All because he wasn't talking to them. Because he didn't want to let them in. Because he was finally feeling everything he bottled up.
And they were treating him no different than the corrupted gems they used to fight.
"I'm the monster," he gasped out to no one. His tears soaked his jeans and his fingers pulled out strands of hair, but he barely felt either. All he felt was his heart withering away in the grip of a thorned rose vine.
Steven looked to his hands. They were as pink as his late mother's skin and trembling. He finally looked like the leader they lost and he was worse than she ever was. He could never be her. He could never be the person they now needed. He wasn't good enough for them.
He jumped wildly as a loud bang hit the pink barrier outside. The gems bombarded the wall; each hit sounded like thunder in Steven's ears. His breath sped up as the assault continued. Shallow. Uneven. Until he felt like he was drowning.
He needed it to go away. It was all too much.
"STOP!" he yelled, hands covering his ears as it all became too much. The room around him was warping as his senses became overwhelmed. "Please, stop," he whimpered out. But they didn't.
"Steven, drop the wall," Pearl's voice called, her spear scraping against the wall with a sound that sent chills down Steven's spine.
"Just talk to us!" Amethyst called, her whip now hung loosely in her grip as she watched Garnet and Pearl continue their assault. "Please," she added, her voice now begging.
Inside, Steven lifted his head at her soft "please," but winced horribly when Garnet's hand slammed against the wall once more.
"Enough of this, Steven!" Garnet yelled. She brought her double-handed fits against the wall, but stumbled back as the force went up her arms. "Stop avoiding the situation!"
"I'M NOT!" Steven yelled at them. He didn't remember getting back on his feet. He didn't remember feeling heat spread from his gem and coat the room in a deep pink hue. When he saw the gems take a step back, he snapped back to his senses once again and nearly fell to his knees in shock as the room spun around him. "Please," he said, putting his hand on the glass door. "Just leave me alone."
"Not a chance," Garnet growled on the other side of the door. "Stop acting like this."
Steven's hand dropped from the door and he stood there and stared at her figure. If Garnet could have seen the anguish on Steven's face, she would have dropped her weapons and removed her visor. She would have put her hand to the wall to match Steven's. She would have felt her own eyes burn with shame. She would have understood.
But she didn't see it. On her end, she was trying to order around a stubborn teen with gem powers.
Inside, Steven felt his entire body go numb at her words.
Stop acting like this? He thought as his vision unfocused. Like what? Himself? She didn't like him. She didn't like the person he was becoming. She just liked him he was younger.
They'll never accept him now.
He fell to his knees and his thoughts became muddled into his emotions. He couldn't hear them pounding on the wall anymore. He could only hear the ringing silence and the pounding in his head. Tears streamed down his face like acid, but he didn't move to wipe them away.
They moved on without him. They didn't know him anymore. They didn't want to. They just wanted old Steven back.
The ringing in his ears began to morph. In and out it came, like waves of a song churning in the confused mess of emotions.
"I can't be him," Steven whispered to himself, his head falling as he stared at the carpet he didn't see. "I can't stop being this way."
The ringing grew steady and formed into a wordless hum.
Steven doubled over and let out a pained sob. He wrapped his arms around himself and tried to replicate the hug he so desperately needed but didn't deserve. The longer he clung to them, the more pain he would cause them. He needed to push them away. Needed to make them see that he wasn't worth their time anymore. They had more important gems to help than one that deserved to be in a bubble.
More important problems to solve than a boy who lost control of his powers for the upteenth time.
The wordless hum grew louder and finally caught Steven's attention. The words took shape, echoing in and out of his conscious mind. It was soothing. Almost like a lullaby. When his anger lashed out, it coaxed it back with a gentle hum.
His room pulsated pink; the color began to slowly fade from the walls as the glow of his skin lessened.
"STEVEN!" Garnet yelled. "Don't give in!"
The song faded as Steven jumped back to reality at her words.
Give in? He looked around, his heart slowly speeding up with the absence of the song. It was helping him. For all he knew, that song was the answer to this pink aura.
"Come back," Steven whispered to it, but it didn't.
"Talk to us!" Garnet yelled again, frantic this time.
"No," Steven said, loudly enough for the gems to hear. The anger was back. His entire body ached as it coursed hotly through his veins. His head throbbed and his chest felt like it was about to burst.
He needed that song to calm down. To control this. And they took it from him.
"Steven, please, we're worried about you," Amethyst tried again.
He forced himself back to his feet, his stance unsteady but offensive. His entire body trembled, filled with emotions just begging to burst out of him. He couldn't hold them in. He needed that song back. He needed the gems gone.
"Just...LEAVE!" he yelled. With every ounce of strength he had left, he forced his emotions out of his body. He yelled out, replicating the final note of the song and hoping to bring it back. His room splintered apart at the outburst. The glass door shattered and the curtain flew back to reveal the gem's shocked faces.
He watched as the pink wave hit his barrier. Some went straight through and blasted the gems off their feet. They flew off the deck and onto the beach below. Unseen by Steven, their forms vanished and their gems dropped into the sand.
Some reflected back to him. It struck him square in the chest. He stumbled back and fell on his bed, winded. The room spun as he struggled to stay conscious.
"I didn't mean…to hurt...," he panted. He tried to push himself onto all fours, but failed and collapsed.
Then he heard it again. Louder this time. More urgent. Calling to him.
He reached out his hand as his vision began to fade, as if trying to grasp onto the words of the song. The song spiraled around his barely conscious mind and seemed to caress his soul. It was so gentle. So peaceful.
He felt the tension leave his body and it became very hard to keep his eyes open. He hummed to it, the tune coming to him like a long lost memory.
Then it changed. The soothing presence became blinding. Pink light pierced through his mind and he gasped out in pain. He felt it wrap around him and envelop him in its barbed grasp.
"W-wait," he said, panicked as he struggled to fight against something that he couldn't see.
The song shrieked in his ears; wailing harshly in his own voice and echoing the emotions it had consumed. It wrapped around him, constricting his very soul until he couldn't feel anything but the cold pain of everything he wanted to escape from.
It bound him there. Unable to think. Unable to move. Unable to scream in pure agony as its thorns dug into his throat. He felt the burning hatred seep into his face as the song yelled out mournful words he could barely understand.
He reached out his hand, now toward where the gems once were.
"Help," he managed to whisper.
His vision was blurring and fading fast. The last thing he saw was dark pink splotches spreading across his skin. The last thing he felt was his skeleton breaking as it the song snapped his spine.
The last thing he heard was a yell of broken agony, completely unaware that it was his own.
The song enveloped him completely in its thorns and he knew no more.
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Author's note: How do you think Steven would become corrupted? I tried a different approach from the usual panic and I think it turned out okay. Let me know what you think!