Chapter 6: In Bloom
'You loved me-then what right had you to leave me? What right-answer me-for the poor fancy you felt for Linton? Because misery and degradation, and death, and nothing that God or Satan could inflict would have parted us, you, of your own will, did it. I have not broken your heart- you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine.'
Fuck me for reading Wuthering Heights.
Since hearing about Emily's betrayal, I had drowned myself in books with finals over and summer vacation coming in a few days. I needed the distraction with Leah not wanting to see or speak to anyone, it was a pointless to even try to talk to her. She has completely shut everyone out for now all I can do for now was wait.
A few years ago, my mom had started introducing me to classic novels so every year since my twelfth birthday she gifted me a book on my birthday and Christmas. That first year she gave me To Kill a Mockingbird and Dracula, the following year it was Pride and Prejudice and Jane Eyre. This year she gave me Wuthering Heights and so far, my ass was depressed. As much as this book captivated me the tone of the book wasn't what I needed right now. Once I got to the line 'I have not broken your heart-you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine.' I can no longer keeping reading it reminded me too much of Leah and when I thought of Leah I thought of Sam and when I thought of Sam all I felt was hate and wondered what changed.
It was a never-ending cycle once Sam came to mind. It with him missing for two weeks, him appearing from the woods naked and dazed, him not speaking to anyone for more than a month, him leaving Leah with no explanation, him immediately trying to engage a relationship with Emily. Then a similar situation happened with Paul followed by Jared, at some point somewhere in the cycle the Cullens came to mind. None of it made sense as much as I tried to make sense of it because the most, I could make out of it was if somehow the legends were true.
Expect that's all they were legends and nothing else. Something I was told over and over again my whole childhood anytime I tried to bring up the possibility of them having some kind of truth to them I was shut down.
Having these theories consume me so much was taking a toll on me so maybe now was the time to simply let it go…
Kim had left with her parents to their yearly trip two days ago leaving me to go on to find a few suckers to join me to watch The Notebook in theaters it had just came out. I remember months ago Rachel had called me to check up on Leah however somewhere along the conversion she had talked about how I had to read this book that was "So, heartbreaking and beautiful I could cry" as said by Rachel. With that description I had to read it for myself and well I was hooked now without Kim I needed a poor soul to come with me. The only problem was my only options now were Jacob, Embry, and Quil…Fuck!
Both Embry and Quil would never let me live it down that I asked them to go watch a romance movie. Those little shit heads have been waiting to get some dirt on me especially damn Quil with him still not over what happened last summer. The only reason he hadn't done anything to me yet was because Jacob had told him to back off sensing my stress over Leah. But recently I've been starting to feel Quil wasn't going to be so considerate any longer. With that in mind I thought best just to avoid him and forget about even trying to see The Notebook.
It's been almost a month since Kim left and all I've managed to do in that time was get some jobs doing girls make up for their senior portrait. Usually I don't charge for this kind of stuff, but I really wanted to get a subscription for the Runway magazine, I mean I already had one for Vogue, but my dad paid for it since it was just five bucks a month. Runaway was more pricey and I knew he wasn't gonna want to pay for both so this time I charged for my services. Before girls would just offer to give me some of their old clothes or jewelry, they were planning on getting rid of. Which to me seemed like a good deal since at times I'd already have my eye on some of the things I had seen them wear previously. Leah and Kim weren't too pleased with this exchange saying getting cash was better than getting old worn clothes.
Today I was going to the Mallory's to do Lauren's older sister's makeup all the way at Forks since she got back her graduation pictures and didn't like how they turned out, so she wanted to retake them. I had all my stuff gathered ready to go when I hear a car engine approach my house. I walk out expecting to see my mom instead I see Jacob sitting on my porch stairs.
"So, she lives." He says seeing me standing behind him.
"Well duh. What did you think I was dead?" Saying matter of fact.
"If only you knew what people have been saying about you for the past week…" I roll my eyes at that.
"What is there to talk about, I haven't really been out for like two weeks."
"That's the thing honey people like to talk in the rez especially someone with a big mouth like Quil," That got my attention "And big mouth took it upon himself to tell people you got mono from a guy who lives in forks."
"Why in the hell would people believe that half ass lie."
"…He said it was Mike Newton…"
"I'd rather die than kiss his pasty ass." Out of all people Quil had to pick Mike Newton that guy was known for trying to hook up with any willing girl…disgusting.
"I just wanted to give you a heads up since people are starting to believe it with you not showing at First Beach recently."
"Does that dumbass want to get pushed off a cliff again!"
"Hey, you better not start swinging at me I'm not Quil!" He says putting his hands up.
"Ugh! Okay now get off my porch Black I gotta go." With that I run back inside to get my stuff, damn Quil ruining my day with his dumbass shit. When I walk back out, I see that Jacob is still on my porch now he's leaning on the railing.
"So, where you headed?" He asks.
"Forks." You look around to see if your mom was back from her errand.
"What for?" Asks trying to gain your attention again.
"Work."
"Do you need ride?"
You stop trying to look past him to look at him, "My mom is supposed to take me when she came back."
"Do you mind if I take you instead?"
"Jake you don't even have a car."
"Harry had me fix the engine on his truck and I don't have to give it back until later."
"You don't have a permit."
"C'mon Addie you've ridden with me before…"
"Yeah around the rez we've never gone further than La Push."
"The guys and I have gone to Forks already with Old Quil's truck you can trust me." If I waited any longer, I'd most likely get there late and have Lauren's sister bitch at me. "…Honey…please…" He pleads.
Shit he's using that name again, I still don't know how to take this new habit of his calling me honey.
"Alright…" He hurries to warm up the truck while I lock my house as I approach the truck, I see Jacob grinning holding the door open for me. Once I'm in he closes it for me and goes around to go into the driver's side.
I feel his hand gently squeeze my left hand, "I promise you won't regret this Adeline." He doesn't let go until I give him a reassuring nod.
"So, I want to look like Gwen Stefani in the Southside video." Rachelle, Lauren's older sister explains to me while showing me a picture she printed out.
"We get it Rach you don't have to shove it in her face." Lauren tells her sister clearly annoyed with her.
"What I just want to make sure she knows what I want." She pushes Lauren out of the way to approach Jacob, "You know a lot of people say I look just like her, don't you see it." Showing him side by side of her and Gwen Stefani.
"Sure, Sure." He says to her.
Jacob had decided to stay with me while I did Rachelle's makeup. He had plans on dragging me with him to go to the junk yard to try and find a specific part he needed for Billy's truck. Meanwhile Rachelle was running her mouth to Jacob I start to set up in their kitchen, when I notice Lauren take a seat next to me.
"So, who's that guy you brought along?" She asks while staring at Jake and her sister.
"His name is Jacob Black, you can call him Jake if you want."
"Hmm…are you guys like cousins or something."
I feel like my eyes are going to pop out of my head hearing that, "Oh God no! We aren't related at all!"
"Then he's like your boyfriend."
"No, we're just friends Lauren." What the hell has gotten into her, usually all she wants to talk about is how annoying her brothers are and how much she wants Tyler Crowley to notice her. I didn't get to see Lauren that often since she lived in Forks and neither one of us could drive yet. But we always kept in contact ever since we met at the Rainforest of the Arts for dance lessons when we were eleven.
"Well your friend Jake is pretty cute." She says with a smile on her face.
"Did something happen between you and Tyler that you're now trying to hook up with other guys."
She scoffs, "I'm not trying anything with Jake, all I'm saying is that he's really cute. You know I only got eyes for Tyler…and maybe Connor."
I playfully roll my eyes at her, "Can you pry your sister away from Jacob so I can get started on her."
After I finished at the Mallory house Jacob was more than happy to get away from Rachelle. He wasn't too pleased that she was more than comfortable to tell him all about her love life and how hard it is for her to focus on only one boyfriend when so many guys found her to be gorgeous. She even went as far as to mention if he was older, she would have gone out with him since he was such a good listener with a sweet face. He lit up once we got to the junk yard to start our hunt, unfortunately it wasn't a success. We ended up going to a shop to buy it, sure it was pricier, but Jake was prepared to pay extra for it.
The next day I decided to walk around First Beach, ya know to scout the area for one of the three stooges. It really didn't matter to me who I found first since I knew if I found either Jacob or Embry, I'd be sure to find Quil with them since neither one of them knew how to be without the other. God I swear they act like girls.
By the shore I see someone laying on their back really close to the tide, guess they don't care for getting themselves wet. I go over to see who's dumb enough to do such a stunt. Only to see that it's Jacob, I kick some sand on him to wake his ass up. "Oh…Hey Addie." That's it no reaction?
"Is there any reason you're laying this close to the tide with your regular clothes on."
He shrugs at me.
"C'mon Jakey that's not an answer." I tease him.
He frowns at me, "Can you not call me that…" I give him a pointed look, "Fine…You know how yesterday I mentioned that Embry and Quil were going to be riding their quads all afternoon."
"Yeah so…"
"Well turns out the dumbasses crashed the quads and their moms grounded them indefinitely. This sucks who knows how long they're gonna be grounded what am I supposed to do now."
"Jacob you are a strong independent woman, you don't need the other two dumbasses for entertainment."
"Like you're one to talk, you're a total wreck every time Kim leaves to Salt Creek." Shit he got me there.
"…Okay maybe we both need to learn to survive without them. It can be the summer of change."
Jake seemed to be thinking over this notion before adding on, "Or we can hangout with each other for the rest of the summer."
I didn't need further convincing, I mean we are best friends after all it seemed stupid to think of a reason for us not to hangout. For the next few days I watched Jacob work on one of the local's Ford truck as well as doing maintenance work on the old Chevy pickup. After hours of work we had a habit of going to a café to get drinks, we'd get iced coffees expect Jacob's would have a shit ton of sugar in his. We'd drink them while we cruised around La Push.
About two weeks in Jacob felt like he was keeping me away from the outside world only seeing the inside of his garage. I really didn't mind it too much, but he insisted it was no way to live. So, that Saturday night he took me to bonfire at Second Beach. The usual people from the rez were there with the inclusion of folks from Forks.
The bonfire was basically what you expected out of it. Which was food and beer. Typically, neither one of us drank since the older members of the tribe attended these things and knew we were pretty young. But today though they were offering us some. To me the beer was gross and bitter. I really didn't want to finish it, Jacob on the other hand seemed to enjoy it. Disgusting.
At almost two hours into the bonfire a good amount of people were straight up drunk. Jacob had gotten up to go take leak leaving me sitting on a log by myself. "Hey cutie." I jump hearing someone speak to me so closely. Turning to my side there this guy sitting next to me.
"Ummm…Hi…" I respond not knowing what else to say.
"Damn its true what they say about reservation girls." He says while eyeing me up and down. "That you're all fine pieces of ass." Oh fuck no.
He got closer, putting his arm around my waist and grabbing my hip. I froze at this. Never has a guy been as physically close to me as he was.
"What the hell are you doing!" Looking up I see Jacob fuming.
"Clearly trying to get some ass, so stop being a cock block." Jacob wasn't having it with that response.
All I saw next was the guy fall back on his ass, both of his hands gripping his face in pain. With Jacob shaking off his right hand. "Let's go." He quickly grabbed me taking me away from the scene.
"Way to go Black get some!" One of the guys cheered Jake on our way to the parking lot. He didn't so much as flinch at the comment. Right now, his main objective was getting the hell out of here.
The drive to my house was silent. Once we got there we sat in more silence. It seemed like he wasn't going to say anything or even move. So, I quietly thank him for bringing me home and start to motion for the door. When I hear him whisper an apology. I offer him to come inside since its still kind of early.
Our parents were over at Chief Swan's house watching some game. I take him into my room to chill, both of us sitting on my bed. He remained quiet with his head down, however I notice him sort of fidget his hand. I go bring him an ice pack to ice his hand.
"I'm really sorry Adeline." He says as I ice his hand.
"It's not your fault."
"We shouldn't have gone." Shaking his head, taking the ice pack from my hands to ice his own hand.
"Why we always go to bonfires, plus I-I had fun…" Trying my best to reassure him. He lifts up his head to look at me, "You don't have to lie to make me feel better. I fucked up leaving you by yourself."
"Please Jacob its fine nothing happened. Especially with you knocking out that guy."
"What if I didn't come back in time, I don't even want to imagine what that swine would've done to you!" I don't think I've ever seen Jacob so livid in my life. His fists were clenched turning white, with a deep frown on his face. It was like he was reliving the moment.
I move myself closer to him putting my hand on his face to make gentle circles with my thumb. Whispering that I was alright now, trying my best to calm him down. Soon I start to notice his body relax with him laying his head between my shoulder and neck.
"…Thank you, Jacob…" Laying my head on top of his, "…You mean so much to me…I-I…Thank you…"
He lifts his head from my shoulder, gently grabbing my chin so we can be at eye level. "Addie, I don't want your first experience with a guy to be what it was earlier," He takes a deep breathe before continuing, "I…Y-You can say no to this, but I want for us to be each other's first kiss."
I was at a loss for words. "…Is it because you feel sorry…"
"No, I just want your first kiss to mean something," He was nervous I could feel his hand trembling, "It would mean so much to me if my first time was with you, Adeline."
Nothing would make it more special to me knowing my first kiss was from Jacob Black who unknowingly had my heart. I nod my head at him agreeing. Jacob takes another deep breath before he starts to slowly move his lips towards mine. My heart racing in anticipation our lips barely touch for a second, "Is this okay?" Feeling his hot breath as he asks, I whisper back a yes to him. At last I feel our lips meet, making me feel as though I'm floating. I pull back a little figuring it was over. When I feel Jacob's lips again, this time nudges my lips little to move against his. He let's go of his hold on my chin to grasp my jaw to angle me my face better. Each kiss makes my heart soar as if at any moment it will explode. With one final kiss Jacob slowly pulls away leaning his forehead on mine. Giving me a glazed look while trying to catch his breath.
As my heart started to go back to its normal rhyme and my mind becoming clearer. I start to let it sink in that Jacob Black and I may have gone beyond just being friends.