Everything around him was in turmoil. The shadows shifted and flashed with pink and blurry images of gems poofing, of a clawed hand crushing Garnet, of White Diamond begging him to stop as the song warped her sense of right and wrong, of a forgotten melody and the feeling of thorny vines wrapping around him.

He was trapped there. Unable to move. Unable to think. Only able to feel and even those feelings didn't feel like they were his. He was detached from himself. Removed. Isolated from the person he once was.

At the time, it felt like a reprieve. When the world was falling around him, he didn't have to feel the ground beneath his feet crumble. But now, it was suffocating. The screams of his friends. Barely being able to make out their terrified faces and hardly able to recognize that they were trying to hurt him.

But it wasn't to hurt him, right? They needed to help him and they didn't know how. He fought them. They just defended their home. His home.

After everything he's done, they would be right to leave him here in this darkness, Steven thought to himself. After everything he's done, all the pain and trouble he's caused, he wouldn't blame them if they wanted nothing to do with him. After all, he didn't want anything to do with them back then. Why should he expect them to still want to help? To still care?

Everyone has their limit. Was this theirs?

At least he would have Connie.

At her name, a small bubble of warmth grew in his chest. She hurt him, but it wasn't intentional. She was distant lately due to school, but she still came to his aid. She still believed in him enough to push through her own guilt and struggles. It was her touch that kept him from drowning. Her voice called him back from the void of the damned. Her love that brought him back to life.

He didn't deserve her. Yet, she stayed. The slight pressure he felt on his hand told him she was here now.

Steven took a deep breath as he willed the darkness around him to lessen.

"Steven?"

The voice was faint, but he recognized it. The worry and gentleness behind it were enough for him to force his eyes open and face the world again.

"You're awake!"

Before he could register his surroundings, Connie pulled him into a tight hug. Her shoulders shook and he felt wetness on his shirt. He held her close and ignored how his arms screamed in protest at the slight movement.

"Hi Jam Bud," he whispered, his voice hoarse.

She pulled away with a relieved laugh and wiped her eyes. "You remembered?"

Steven nodded before he dropped his eyes down to look at his hands. Connie's were resting in his, relaxed and at ease.

"How much do you remember?" she asked, her voice soft.

"Enough," he admitted as his thumb ran over one of the deep pink scars left on his hand. His eyes flicked to Connie's fingers and his entire body visibly relaxed when he noticed they weren't discolored.

"It went away when the Diamonds healed you," Connie said, her eyes also on her hands.

"I'm sorry," Steven responded. His voice broke and he did everything he could to not look at the girl in front of him. But Connie raised her right hand and cupped his chin. She gently lifted it for their eyes met: one pair watering and filled with shame, the other calm and caring.

"It's okay," Connie whispered as she wiped Steven's tears. "We're Jam Buds, right? Nothing can tear us apart."

Steven nodded and gave a water chuckle before he finally noticed his surroundings. It was a small room with wood walls and mismatched painted beams. He seemed to be laying on a pile of pillows instead of a bed.

"Where are we?"

Connie looked around and bit her lip. "Little Homeworld," she answered after a second. "We couldn't take you back to Beach City after...," she stopped again and blushed.

But Steven knew what she meant. The smell of smoke still stung his nose and he could still hear buildings falling around him.

"After I destroyed it," Steven finished her sentence, somewhat bitterly. The words hurt him to say and heat rose in his stomach as his face turned red. He pulled away from Connie and drew his knees close to his chest.

"Hey," Connie said, but Steven refused to look at her. "We know you weren't in control."

Steven didn't answer. He wasn't in control. Not entirely. But he remembered the elation he had felt when he heard their screams; that floating feeling of ecstasy at being unburdened by empathy and reason. He might have been tainted by corruption, but some part of him wanted to hurt them.

"Think about Nephrite," Connie said as she read the look of the contorted guilt on the teen's face. "She attacked you and the gems, but you know what she would never do anything like that now. It was her instinct to defend herself."

"It wasn't instinct," Steven countered before he could stop himself.

"From what the gems told me, you were attacking the things that hurt you. From what I felt when I was in your head, you felt so alone and like you didn't belong in Beach City anymore," Connie pressed gently.

He still didn't feel like it mattered. Especially not after this. How would they move on? How would anyone forgive him?

"No one blames you, Steven," Connie told him. "They're all in the other room, waiting to see if you're okay."

Steven's head whipped around, his eyes wide. "Who?"

"Sadie, Shep, Kiki, Pearl, Garnet, Amethyst, your dad," she counted on her fingers. "The rest of the city and the Diamonds are around Little Homeworld too and they keep stopping in to ask about you."

"Everyone knows?" Steven felt the color drain from his face. His head fell into his hands and he took a shuddering shallow breath.

"And no one cares," Connie told her as she put her hand on his shoulder. "They all love you, Steven, even after this."

"Do they?" Steven countered, but there was no anger in his voice.

"Yes," Connie told him firmly. "They do. And I know they want to see you."

"No," Steven whispered, shakily. He didn't want to see their faces. Would they look at him in fear when he walked in the room, ready to summon their weapons? Or would they look down on him for not being able to be better, for not being able to save himself?

"What are you afraid of?" Connie asked quietly. She moved closer to him and put her arm around him. She felt him shake, felt how he both drew away from her before he leaned into her.

"How can they accept me after this?" Steven finally answered. His voice was so low that Connie had to lean in to hear it. "I'm a monster."

"No, you're not," Connie told him. Steven glanced her way and Connie knew her next words would either confirm or deny his fear of the gems abandoning him. "You're their family."

Steven's eyes softened and his lips trembled as his eyes filled with tears again. Connie pulled him close and let him cry silently on her shoulder.

"We love you, no matter what, Steven," she told him. "And the gems out there," she said as she gestured to the window across the room, "They all know how you're feeling. You're not alone."

Then why did he feel like he was?

Connie pulled away from him and stood. She offered her hands to Steven and waited with bated breath.

Steven slowly looked at her hands and his breath caught in his chest. He raised his hands and gently placed them in Connies. They both ignored how much the boy shook.

This was the only way to prove himself wrong.

Or right.

Connie tugged him to his feet. For a moment, the room around him spun and his legs burned in protest, but Connie placed a supporting arm around his waist. She smiled encouragingly at him and Steven nodded to her. Together, they walked out of the room and quietly entered the larger living area.

The gems were all standing in the center of the room. Pearl's arms were crossed and her foot was tapping with impatient worry. Garnet's entire body was stiff and Steven could see her concern, even with her back turned to him. Amethyst was rocking on the balls of her feet.

Sadie and Shep sat on the couch with Greg, who had his head in his hands. Kiki stood next to them, her hand on his shoulder.

"I failed him," Greg said, his voice muffled.

"No, you didn't," Shep said, comfortingly. "None of us knew what was happening."

"And none of us expected it to happen to someone like Steven," Sadie added.

"That's the problem!" Greg said. "I didn't notice that my own son needed help until it was too late."

"What about what we discussed before?" Pearl said.

"Does something like that even exist?" Amethyst asked.

"Oh yeah!" Kiki said, confidently. "I went a few times after Steven helped me realize how unhealthy my work/life balance was. It really helped me."

Sadie nodded too. "I went after Lars was lost in space. It helped me cope with it."

"And this doctor," Garnet said carefully. "They're used to gem-related incidents?"

Kiki laughed. "Of course! Everyone in Beach City is now."

Connie felt Steven inch back toward the bedroom, but she pulled him forward and cleared her throat.

Greg's face shot out of his hands and his face lightened instantly. "Steven!" He rushed forward and Connie stepped away to allow the man to embrace his son.

Steven's eyes went wide for a moment before he was blocked from view. He felt his dad shake as he held him and heard him sniff. At that moment, all of Steven's walls crumbled to dust. He threw his arms around his dad and buried his face into his chest.

"Dad," he whispered, voice muffled and contorted by tears. "I'm sorry."

Greg pulled away and held his son's face in his hands. His thumbs brushed away his tears.

"No, I'm sorry," Greg told him. "I should have known you'd be going through a hard time with everything changing so quickly."

Steven shook his head and pulled away from his dad.

"No, I should have just talked to you instead of acting like it wasn't a problem," Steven countered. "It's my fault."

Greg looked sadly at his son and put a hand on his shoulder. "I know it feels that way, but it's not your fault," he said, kindly. "You're allowed to feel and allowed to break down. I wish you would have talked to us, but we didn't handle it the greatest either. So please let us help you now."

Steven lifted his head and dared to peak over his dad's shoulders at everyone gathered in the small room. Shep's hand was on Sadie's shoulder and both of them were looking at him with soft eyes. Kiki smiled encouragingly at him and waved hello.

Pearl had her hands clasped together near her heart and her eyes were filled with worry and love. Garnet's arms were crossed, but her visor was off and all three of her eyes were kindly looking at Steven as they watered with relief. Amethyst was leaned back in a chair, her posture at ease as she shot Steven a broad smile.

He looked back down and hid his face as he tried to hide his own smile.

He had been wrong.

Greg pulled away after another moment and he guided Steven to the couch. Thankful to get off his feet, Steven sunk down and gave Connie a small smile as she sat beside him. Greg sat on his other side and Sadie reached over Connie to pat his shoulder.

Steven's eyes fell to his knees and his fists grasp at his pants, suddenly very aware of how torn his shirt and jeans were. He felt his face heat up in embarrassment.

"Here," Pearl stepped forward and summoned a new pink jacket from her gem. She wrapped it around Steven's shoulders lovingly before she stepped back. "That should be more comfortable."

"Thanks," Steven said, shyly. He pulled the jacket around him, not bothering to put his arms into the sleeves.

"So," Amethyst said to break the silence. "Want to tell us what's going on?"

Steven tensed and his heart thudded painfully at those words. He knew that they knew how he felt. They were all there in the mindscape. They all tried to help him, but the song and the vines were too much.

"Why do you feel like you can't talk to us?" Garnet supplied, helpfully, as she sensed the boy's inner turmoil.

"I just," Steven started, though he struggled to find the right words. Talking had always been his strongest weapon, paired with his power to change. But lately, it was so difficult for him to do. But why? Wasn't he used to solving problems?

He blinked, a look of realization dawning on his face. He was never on this side of the situation before. He was always trying to fix others' problems, but he never thought about how hard it was for them to open up. He was exactly like Pearl or Amethyst in this situation; wanting to talk about something he felt like he couldn't talk about, like the origins of Rose Quartz and of their own problems about how they came to be.

He was in their shoes now. If they could do it, then he could too. He owed them the same level of respect and vulnerability they showed him.

"I didn't want to hurt you," he started. "I didn't want Pearl to blame herself and I was tired of hearing advice from Garnet or Amethyst's maturity. Everything was so different and I didn't know how to handle it. I thought it didn't matter."

He took a deep breath and continued to stare at his hands. "I didn't have a purpose anymore. You didn't need me like you used too. I just felt like my problems didn't matter. Like I didn't matter."

Steven chanced a glance at the gems and found all of their faces had fallen, but it wasn't from anger or frustration but from guilt.

Garnet stepped forward. "We never meant for you to feel like you couldn't talk to us," she said. "We've struggled with you growing up, and we didn't know how to handle it either. I'm sorry."

Amethyst leaned forward and nodded. "Yeah, dude. It's all been so sudden for us too and I didn't realize how much we've changed. How much I've changed. We've grown together and I was too focused on my new responsibilities to see how that was affecting you."

Pearl walked forward and knelt down in front of Steven, her eyes soft. "Steven," she said, her voice soft. "I know I haven't been the most stable in the past, but I care too much about you to fall apart when you need me. You made me stronger. You taught me how to be okay with the past. I'm here for you now, if you'll let me be."

Steven reached forward and pulled Pearl into a tight hug; one she responded to immediately with tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," Steven repeated.

"I am too," Pearl said. "You were just a kid and I expected you to solve problems that were thousands of years old. It was never fair to you."

Steven pulled back slightly and looked over to Garnet and Amethyst. He gestured them over and they enthusiastically joined the hug. When they pulled away, all of them wiped their eyes and had smiles on their faces.

Steven's faded quickly though. "I just…," he started again, suddenly unable to look any of the gems in the eyes. "I want to talk with you guys, but I don't know how."

Greg put his hand on Steven's shoulder. "I think we have a solution for that, Schtu-ball."

"Yeah!" Kiki chimed in. "There's this great therapist in town. He really helped me and Sadie."

Steven looked over to her, confused.

"A therapist is like a doctor," Shep started to explain. "They help talk you through your problems and give you advice. It's a judgment-free zone."

"And they're not going to get hurt by whatever you say to them," Sadie gently told him when she sensed Steven's discomfort. "They're completely unbiased and confidential."

"And that would help?" Steven asked after a moment of processing the information.

Greg nodded. "Even I went to one after I changed my name and left my family behind," he told Steven. "That was a long time ago, but she helped me understand who I was."

Steven looked to his hands, his thoughts hidden from the rest of the group as he ran his thumb over a small corruption scar. He knew Pearl meant what she said. He knew Garnet would try to change to help him. He knew Amethyst was more mature, but still like a sister to him.

And he knew that his words would still have consequences if he talked to them. But not talking and let it all fester inside of him again? It wasn't an option.

But neither was hurting them.

He closed his fist and covered his hand to hide the deep pink mark.

"Okay, I'll give it a shot," he finally said. He leaned back against the couch and Connie wrapped her arm around his before she grabbed his hand. He looked over at her and couldn't help but smile at the pride and warmth in her eyes.

The moment didn't last as the front door burst open and Lapis, Peridot, and Bismuth ran in.

"Steven!" They yelled.

"Sorry I hit you with a dumpster," Peridot said. "It was a real trashy situation."

Groans and chuckles filled the room before the chatter picked up again. The next couple of hours were a whirlwind to Steven as Beach City and Little Homeworld residents funneled in and out of the house to see him.

The worst was the Diamonds, who insisted on taking him back to Homeworld so he could rest and recover with them. They all huffed in frustration when he refused but thankfully agreed to go home with the promise of Steven visiting them when he felt better.

"After all," White had told him. "I know what it feels like to need to make things better."

The sun had long since set when Steven was finally able to return to his room in Little Homeworld and collapse on the make-shift bed.

Connie insisted on spending the night and was in the next room trying to convince her parents. Pearl and Garnet were coordinating where humans could stay while Beach City was under construction. Amethyst, Shep, Sadie, and Kiki were all checking on everyone and bringing them supplies. His dad and Nanefua were leading a group of people and gems to scout around the city for any stragglers.

And Steven? He was alone.

The dark room around him didn't feel empty, though. Gone was the cold feeling of shame and the fear that everyone he knew was leaving him behind. He didn't look around the room and feel lonely. He didn't see it as a place to hide away.

It felt warm and full, like a place to rest and grow. The worst was behind him, for now at least, and he felt a small hope budding inside him that he would find his purpose again soon.

Sure, he wasn't saving the galaxy anymore. He didn't need to; he already did that. And yeah, he wasn't fixing a broken family because he helped mend that long ago. All that was left for him to do was to figure out who he was outside of all that. To continue to grow and change and live his life.

And no matter what he did, no matter how isolated he felt, and no matter how far away they were or mature they got, he would always have his family and his friends.

A small knock on the door sounded before Connie peaked her head in.

"Hey," she said as she stepped inside. "My mom's not happy about it, but she's letting me stay over. With Pearl's supervision," she added, with an eye roll.

Steven chuckled and patted the pillows next to him. Connie walked over and sank down next to him.

"You okay?" She asked after a moment.

"Yeah," Steven said. "Just thinking."

"About?"

Steven shook his head, but it wasn't him denying her question, but rather that he lacked the words to explain. Connie seemed to understand. She settled down next to him and didn't interrupt the silence.

"Before," he started, carefully. "I was so scared about hurting everyone and being the problem. I tried so hard to be like Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl for my entire childhood and when I finally was able to use my powers, I was so happy. I was finally a Crystal Gem."

"As the years went on, it was hard to deal with everything mom did, but I did it," he continued. "I thought it was all over, but then this new power showed up, and more information about how terrible of a person she was, and I turned into the problem."

Connie turned to look at him. "You thought you could fix it, just like you did with everything else," she guessed.

Steven nodded.

"And," Connie continued, "You were worried the gems would treat you like a powerless kid again?"

"Sort of," Steven said. "I was afraid they wouldn't want me around anymore. They don't need me like they used to, so why would they want to figure out whatever this is?"

Connie shook her head and poked Steven playfully. "Because they care about you! You don't need to be saving the galaxy for us to need you. I don't know what I would do if I lost my best friend."

Steven didn't answer. He felt shame burn in his chest and his eyes began to water as he processed her words. He had been so stupid. All of this could have been avoided if he hadn't been so afraid to just talk to his family. He could have lost them all because of his self-induced isolation, just like he lost himself.

Connie reached around and hugged him. She didn't need to see his face to know what he was thinking. Steven returned her hug and buried his face in her hair.

"I'm here for you," she whispered as she held him. "Now and always."

And Steven believed it. Together, they would face the future and breakthrough his vines of isolation. Together, they would build a new future.

He smiled and held her closer. "Now and always," he repeated.

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Author's Note: That's it! I have two more plot bunnies bouncing around, so we'll see if I actually make anything of them. I hope you enjoyed it! March 6th for SUF's return! AHHHHHHHHH :D