A Kiss in Ba Sing Se

[A/N: This is an A/U story. The Toph character does feel inferior to Katara and so in order to compete for Aang's affections pulls out all the stops. Aang is a boy with near infinite power and is being offered love and comfort from the two girls most dear to him.

Disclaimer: I do not own any rights or titles to the characters of Avatar: The Last Airbender. ]

Chapter 22

Chatting

"Ladies please... that's enough with the interrogation," the countess barked like a drill sergeant, "...time to get our wayward liege dressed."

For the last ten minutes Toph had been bombarded with questions by three out of her four ladies-in-waiting about her new beau.

"What is he like?"

"Is he smart?"

"How big is he?"

That last one of course was Mei Mei.

The princess tried to answer all, except for the ones Mei Mei threw. Some that even made her blush.

"Is this the price for their silence?" Toph thought as they shuffled off to their assigned stations, "constantly being hounded for every little detail about Aang and me? This maybe too juicy to just stay among them for very long, even if we are family."

Soon they were back and Toph was being quaffed and primped, pulled and pinched, within an inch of her life by all four ladies. Again the questions came and she felt duty bound to try and answer them.

"So Princess Toph, when he first kissed you, was it just good or was it a volcano," Lili asked as she brushed out the tangle mat that made up her hair.

This was the first question from her head lady and it surprised her.

Toph smiled, "BOOM!" she replied jumping up, flaying out her arms. "And I mean a really Big BOOM!"

All the ladies giggled.

"So, do you love him?" Lei asked, beginning to polishing her nails as she sat back down.

Toph knew Lei was a gentle soul and had no trouble answereing her.

She sighed, "Oh yes... I love him Lei, more than you could imagine."

Mei Mei started applying her makeup looked at her with a cynical smile, "Cousin Toph, you're so young. What could you possibly know of love... let alone what true love is?"

The princess grimaced sharply, wishing she had something to throw at the loud mouth woman.

"Leave her alone Mei Mei," Fong said. "Just because you don't believe in love... you sour, used up, wolf bat... doesn't mean you should stomp on other people's affections."

Mei Mei smirked, "Lots of young women think they are in love, while the heat burns between the thighs... and he says he loves you as well. But soon it'll all change and he'll go off chasing another set of boobs... what then? It's all a bunch of ostrich-horse shit!"

Toph smiled broadly, "That's okay... unlike you Mei Mei, I do know what true love is," she declared confidently. "I've loved him before he told me anything. Guess what, when you're dangling from a Fire Nation airship about to die, and all you're thinking about... all you want is your man... lady... that's love. No shit!"

"Sounds like love to me," Lili interjected. "Do tell us more cousin, sounds like you have more experience in the matter than us all."

Toph and her ladies chatted about life, love and of course, the Avatar, until it was time for her first official portrait.

The Royal Painter was already setup as she sat on a high back plush chair. Her hair was done up on top of her head to accommodate the heavy diadem. The red sash of Inspector General was draped across her and finally the emerald and diamond gold crown put in her hair.

"Princess Toph, you look exactly like a Queen." Aang's told her, his voice made her heart flutter. "You are more than beautiful," he said as he approached her.

The four ladies-in-waiting all giggled as he entered. He could feel their eyes upon him, watching his every move as he drew closer. When he finally got into range, she lightly punched him in the arm, in lieu of kissing him. He rubbed the spot, appreciating the gesture of affection. She motioned for him to bend down close to her.

He looked at the annoyed face of the artist, and then the amused smiles of her ladies. "Excuse us," he said as he complied.

"They know... Twinkle Toes," she whispered to him as his jaw went slack, "they know everything..."

"Who... knows?" he asked, nervously looking around the room, one lady at a time, who smiled deviously, except for the Countess Lili.

"All my ladies-in-waiting... that's who,"she replied. "They've been drilling me all morning for details."

He felt sweat beading on his forehead, "How did they find out... I mean... we... you were careful..."

"I was... but," Toph sighed, "my gown... my nightgown... you stained it... a lot."

Aang's eyes locked with the countess'. She did not look happy at all and he could only imagine what was to follow.

"We'll have to talk Toph... we have..." He suddenly stopped speaking as he saw one lady in particular. She almost literally took his breath away.

She had thick raven black hair, bright almond shaped green eyes, and clear alabaster skin. She could have been Toph's slightly older twin... except for cup size. She was noticeably larger, and she flaunted it with her low-lined dress. When she noticed the young monk staring at her, she lowered her gaze, meeting his, tracing her top lip with her tongue.

Aang's heart skipped a beat. Toph gave him a second punch, this one much harder. It broke the trance, bringing him back to reality.

"What's going on with you Twinkle Toes? You just stopped talking... and now your heart is skipping like crazy."

"She, she… looks just like you Toph, it's absolutely amazing!" he gasped. "In fact, all these ladies, they all look kind of like you... but especially the one with the real big... huh... huh..."

"Tits... Twinkle Toes... they're called tits. That would be Mei Mei, and if you don't want to catch something you have to see a doctor to get rid of, you better stay away from her."

He shook his head, "Wow... they look like you so much... it's amazing."

"Well duh, they are my cousins Twinkles!" she explained. "All you have to remember boy... is that there is only one of me, just one! And you keep your eyes on me... remember, these tits are yours... not those. Those have been all round Ba Sing Se, I can assure you... and if you want to keep that big arrow head, on your stupid shoulders, you won't go near her... got that!"

He chuckled lightly, "Are you jealous my little lovely? Cause you shouldn't be. You are the most beautiful woman in this room. The others are but shadows compared to you. Besides, who's the greatest earthbender in the world."

She punched him lightly once more, "You forgot... metalbender as well Twinkle Toes," she added with a blush, "and don't you forget it."

"Urrmph," the Royal Artist cleared his throat lightly, " ...excuse me your Grace, May I have her Majesty back, we are running out of light," he requested with a slight bow.

Aang stepped aside, "Oh, yeah... sorry... We'll talk more later Toph."

"I am ready to begin your Majesty, as the light is perfect. By the way your Grace, you are on the scheduled for tomorrow. I expect your promptness," the master painter informed him before sitting down to his easel.

Toph settled into her pose. This was not her first portrait and she knew they could be long and grueling session. Fortunately, her earthbending training helped in maintaining her posture.

Aang took a moment to stare at her and the her four reflections, but none was as fabulous as the one who sat in the middle. The big busted one still moved him, and that did worry him. "She looks so much like you Toph, it's unbelievable," he thought, finding it very hard not to look her way.

Likewise, Mei Mei found something happening to her... she was... blushing! Her heart was beating so fast, she thought she might faint. That was until the young Avatar left the room. Then all her symptoms... strangely, inexplicably... vanished.

Mei Mei's bright green eyes widened, "Impossible... hell no! No man... no man... can do this to me... I won't allow this!" she swore inwardly.

As Aang strolled to his appointment with the King, Toph's words echoed in his head, 'these tits are yours'. He was actually giggling to himself, oblivious of how onlookers stared at the love struck youth.

He soon sobered up as he entered the business center of Ba Sing Se. This was where the king told him to meet him.

King Lao was a very hands-on administrator, as he demanded records all the way back to before the war. Many saw him as a threat to the old guard, with his social, economic and political reforms. The fact that he wanted to create a parliament and give commoners a voice in government, for many nobles, was just intolerable.

Aang noticed the King grimacing as he moved about, before disappearing into some rear office.

A bespectacled man approached him with a thin smile and a short bow, "Your Grace... his Highness will see you now."

"Okay, " he replied, returning the bow.

He was escorted into the private offices of the King. It was filled with desks and scrolls as clerks milled about like ants. At the center of it all on a riser, sat Lao. He looked more like an accountant than a king, with his sleeves rolled back and his reading glasses perched on his nose.

All those around him moved with a business like efficiency, the ear mark that a Bei Fong was in charge. Aang was announced quietly to a secretary that sat at desk three rows in front of the king.

He saw the message move up the chain until finally, a higher level secretary stood and bowed to the floor before the king. Lao looked up and saw Aang standing there. He smiled, whispering something to the man.

The secrectary scurried down and bowed before him, "Pardons your Grace. His Highness is still preoccupied with some pressing matters of state, but will join you as soon as he is able," the tall man apologized, bowing once more. "Please, allow me to see you to the King's private sitting room, where you can be more comfortable as you wait."

Aang followed the man to a room with a low tea table and plush cushions.

"Please have a seat Avatar," he requested pointing to the closer end of the table, "his Highness will join you as soon as he has finished a few items. May I order you some tea while you wait."

Aang smiled brightly, "Yes and thank you... some ginger milk tea... ah extra honey."

"As you desire your Grace," he replied with a bow before leaving.

The tea arrived promptly, as well as several varieties of tea biscuits, many new to him. Aang found that all of them were good, but he was definitely partial to the fruit filled.

"This tea is delicious... but not quite as good as Uncle's," Aang concluded, "... just not enough... love."

An hour later, three cups of tea, uncountable numbers of cookies... two potty breaks and now he was contemplating if he had enough time to catch a nap.

"I was awaken early... and on royal business," he grinned wickedly. "That gown... so thin. Didn't leave much to the imagination," he drooled.

"Funny... her dad hated me not long ago, I wonder what he would think of me if he knew I just spent the night with his daughter."

The monk suddenly started to sweat and shake as he envisioned Lili telling Lao their secret. He was looking around for a place to hide amongst the pillows, but couldn't find any. Suddenly, the behemoth sized guards dragged him from the room.

"I swear... we didn't do anything," he pleaded.

Now he stood before king at his desk... being accused. The accusation traveling via all the clerks. Each of the four Toph look-a-likes, taking their turn, telling how he deflowered the defenseless blind maiden princess.

The king did appear amused as he tried to put on his best face.

Unexpectedly, he saw Katara. She weeping uncontrollably, "How could you Aang... I thought I was your forever girl," she wept into her hands. "You were suppose to be doing meeee!"

"SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!" all the clerks yelled, shaking their quills at him."

Now Sokka and Zuko stood looking at him with shocked faces. Toph, apparently pregnant, with a belly of indescribable size, pointed directly at him.

Appa and Momo also were somehow in the room, shaking their heads in disappointment.

"How could you do that to our little sister Aang," Sokka snarled, shaking a fist at him, "making her restore the whole Air Nation in one shot! Her belly is gonna explode!"

Zuko was right in his face, "And I thought I was the evil one... buddy you take the cake," the Fire Lord said coldly.

The king now pointed a finger at his midsection, "Off with his balls!"

Everyone in the room cheered, including Toph. The roar was deafening!

There was before him a miniscule chopping block, with an obvious use and wielding a knife in her hand, stood none other than Kyoshi Warrior.

"Suki you got to believe me... we didn't go that far... I'm telling you the truth," he pleaded, "We didn't go that far... we did got that far!"

"The evidence says to the contrary Aang," she sighed as the guards stripped off his pants, "and such a lovely pair too. Well, set him up boys!"

Aang began to panic, "Please it's a mistake... tell them Toph! We didn't go that far," he cried as he was being strapped down while the white faced girl sharpened her knife.

Suddenly Mai was on the opposite side.

"Mai... thank the Winds... you have to help me."

"Oh I will," she told him in her typical deadpan tone, "Suki does the right side, and I'll do the left," she laughed pulling a large shuriken out of thin air, "Eunuch Aang!"

"No... I'm innocent... we didn't go that far..."

"Avatar Aang," Lao shook him, "who didn't go that far?"

The airbender wiped his eyes, trying to reorient himself, "Toph's father..." he gasped, his gray eyes bugging out wide.

"I didn't mean to startle you Avatar. I apologize for it taking so long... work you know," the King retorted calmly with a smile. "It looks as if you took a little nap," Lao chuckled wincing as he sat on the low cushion, "I wish I had time for that as well. You were saying something about... being innocent and not going far?"

The groggy Avatar sat up, still half way looking for the guards.

The king looked at the door, "Looking for someone Avatar, I can assure you, the only other people besides us are my scribes and my chief secretary. Oh I get it," the Monarch shook his head, "we still haven't made proper amends. Okay... I declare you... innocent of kidnapping my daughter... hows that? Feel better?"

Aang nodded, "Yes, thank you your Highness. I do understand... she is your only daughter. It must have been hard for you."

The King put his hand on his chin, "It was very hard not having her with us... especially on her mother. She was beside herself for quite a while... but now we understand why, and it is a lesson I want to thank you for Avatar Aang," he conveyed with a bow of his head.

"Toph was the teacher there your Majesty," Aang confessed, "I thought that maybe the Queen would be joining us as well."

"No, she does not bother herself with politics... well at least not this part of it. She does take an active role in helping the poor and needy, as well as building hospitals and other charities, which is a new concept to this city. The Princess, however, will be joining us for lunch today Avatar," Lao informed him with a suspicious look, "she insisted on setting up the menu in your honor. I personally think she has a bit of a school girl crush on you Avatar Aang... what is your opinion?"

The airbender could feel the warmth in his cheeks as his throat tried to close, "Tcoppph,(cough)... Toph..." he managed to say clearer the second time, "I-I don't know about any crush... other than crushing me with a boulder," he chortled, rubbing the back of his neck.

The king started laughing lightly as well, "Good, but if you do suspect such, please... just be gentle with her? Fire Lord Zuko told me about your involvement with Lady Katara and I congratulate you... she is very beautiful and I fell better suited."

Aang could feel his stomach twist into knots and the castration scenario reappear in his imagination.

"I will keep that in mind, your Highness... huh did you know we are about the same age... the Princess and I?" Aang asked for a reason he didn't phantom himself.

"Well, that's surprising. You do appear older Avatar Aang," the king expressed giving him the once over. "No doubt from those past lives I've heard about. I am sure that makes for a remarkable repository of experience and knowledge that rivals any adult. That can be very appealing to an impressionable, innocent, shy young girl, like my Toph."

Aang attempted to swallow the lump in his throat, "I will use... the utmost caution, not to mislead her in anyway, your Highness. And-and I can assure you, I will keep our... uhm... relationship... as it is... or better, than it is now," he exclaimed.

"Thank you Avatar Aang, that is all I am asking." Lao sighed, now feeling more at peace.

Aang could still imagine the miniscule chopping block, even as the king shifted gears and started to talk of his advance reforms.