Chapter Seven - Relief

"The vote is cast. Akkarin of the family Delvon, House Velan, and Sonea will remain as Black Magicians of the Magicians' Guild to Kyralia and protectors of the Allied Lands. They will take their vows tomorrow morning in presence of the King. I hereby call this Meet ended."

It took all of Sonea's willpower not to faint then and there. She did not know exactly how long the Hearing had lasted but it must have been two hours at the very least, and all that time she had merely willed her body to function, forced her knees to support her and her back to stand straight. Her arms ached from carrying almost all of her weight on the crutches and if she used any more Healing energy she would barely have any power left. Her only goal had been to make it through this Meet, and now she had accomplished that goal, she felt her control over her muscles weaken.

"It's over," Akkarin whispered very close to her, closer than she had expected. Looking up, she found him standing right in front of her, his gaze so intense that she almost flinched. He was looking directly into her eyes, worried but trying very hard not to show it. "We will be fine."

"I know," she said and was for a moment proud of how little her voice shook but then there were tears of relief in her eyes and ruined the achievement. "I know."

And then Akkarin wrapped his arms around and pulled her close, without a warning, in the middle of the Guildhall, as if they were the only people alive on earth, and Sonea did not care one bit. She buried her face in the fabric of his shirt and allowed a few of the tears to flow free, but then she composed herself. She straightened.

"What happens now?" she asked quietly and tried to ignore the magicians around them.

"To be honest, I do not have the slightest idea," he replied, "But for a start, it might be a good idea to get us both somewhere we can sit down for a moment before we take on any new trouble."

He was pale, she realised. His relaxed smile was just as forced as her calm self-possession. I never asked him how he felt, she thought with a pang of guilt. Although his injuries were worse than mine. Cursing herself, she shifted her weight to one side so she could take his hand into hers.

"Are you all right?"

"I am. Don't worry about me." He gently squeezed her hand. "Shall we try and find somebody in charge?"

There was barely a hint of bitterness in Akkarin's voice, but Sonea understood perfectly. It must be so frustrating for a former High Lord to depend on other magicians' decisions. She tried to think of something to say, something to take his mind to lighter matters, but they suddenly found themselves in the presence of Lord Osen.

Administrator, she corrected. Lorlen's successor. The blue suited him, she thought, although he did look slightly lost faced with the chaos around them. Too late, she remembered to bow, and the movement ended up far less graceful than it used to. Beside her, Akkarin did the same even more clumsily.

Osen waved a hand dismissively. "I expect you will want to rest?"

They nodded.

"Very well. I have had an apartment prepared for you in the Magicians' Quarters. All your belongings have been brought there; you will find them complete and undamaged. We decided to keep your living arrangements as they were before you left."

Before you left. Sonea almost cringed at how that sounded. But then again, Osen could not very well say before we expelled you from the Allied Lands and carted you into the territory of the enemy. He was trying to stay away from topics he thought might be sensitive.

Interrupting her musings, Osen suddenly spoke to somebody behind her. "Lord Garrel. Would you please take Akkarin and Sonea to their rooms?"

The Warrior stepped into Sonea's sight and nodded curtly. The Administrator sighed. "I will see you in the morning, then. A messenger will be sent when the King is ready for the ceremony."

Sonea saw with one glance that the apartment was barely large enough to house the extensive book collection Akkarin had acquired over the years. There would barely be any wall left once they had unpacked. Also, they needed more shelves as soon as possible.

The moment Garrel had closed the door behind himself the two black magicians had almost simultaneously collapsed into chairs. They had not moved since.

Eyes closed, Sonea murmured, "I could sleep for weeks. I think if I don't move very soon, that might just happen."

She could hear the smile when he answered. "I advise against it. Tomorrow is a rather important event."

"Oh well. One night will have to do, then." She didn't move, though, and neither did Akkarin. The silence that followed was exactly what she needed after this stressful afternoon, the constant buzz of low voices in the seats and Osen's magically amplified above everything else. She could feel her muscles relax, and for the first time she realised what had actually happened today.

The list of things they had been accused of was incredibly long. Defying the Guild's law, entering Kyralia without permission, the knowledge and practice of Black Magic, killing multiple times, cooperating with the Thieves… As Osen read the accusation out loud, Sonea's heart had sunk. They could not have even the slightest chance.

But to her great surprise, not only Osen had urged the Guild to take into consideration the black magicians' service to the Allied Lands, but several magicians had spoken in favour for them as well, including one of the King's advisers. In the end, the so-called trial turned into more of a discussion about their future position in the Guild.

It had been decided that they would be allowed to rejoin and not be regarded as criminals, but their freedom would be limited nonetheless. They were not allowed to use Black Magic unless commanded by the Higher Magicians – which Sonea did not mind too much – nor teach anybody else. They would remain on the Guild grounds unless they were accompanied by a suitable escort the Higher Magicians would choose. If she was honest, Sonea had to admit that everything had turned out a lot better than she had thought it would. She had half-expected to be sent off to Sachaka again…

"They made Garrel Head of Warriors," Akkarin said so suddenly that she jumped and opened her eyes. Akkarin still sat in the chair opposite her, but he was absentmindedly staring out of the window now, unaware that he had startled her. But apparently he sensed her looking at him, and turned to face her.

"I never liked him," he continued. "He is far too ambitious. And after what he let his novice do to you…"

"Wait. You knew about that?"

He shrugged. "Of course I did. How many were they at the end, twenty?"

"Twenty-two," she breathed, for the moment unable to think. She swallowed. "The whole time?"

"From the day it started. Sonea, when Lorlen found you in the Entrance Hall, he was wearing my bloodring. After that, I waited every night for you to come to the Residence, and when you were late, I used the passages to check on you."

"You knew. You knew the whole time." Sonea was aware that she was repeating herself but she couldn't help it. She felt panic rising in her throat. Before she had defeated Regin in a formal challenge, he had used his influence over the other novices to ambush her in remote passages of the University late at night, leaving her drained of all strength more than only once.

She had thought she had done her best to avoid Akkarin knowing about it. This sudden revelation was kind of a shock.

"Sonea, are you…"

She threw up a hand to stop him. "Not now. A moment. I need…" What did she need? She had completely forgotten. The thought had been so clear only a moment ago.

She tried to calm herself. This panic was completely unnecessary. It didn't matter now if Akkarin had or had not known. If anything, she should not be this surprised that he had; he had always found out more than she had expected or liked him to, and she had known about Lorlen's ring as well.

Suddenly, she was floating. Drifting out of her chair and away into the distance and she could not come back down again. It might have been a pleasant sensation – for once, she felt no pain or even ache at all, which did act as a nice variation – had there not been this nagging feeling that she had left something on the ground that she really, really needed.

Then something violently crashed her back down again – Akkarin's long fingers gently on her hand, barely touching her. He was on his knees by her feet. When her gaze focused, she stared directly into dark eyes full of worry.

"I'm sorry," she said, suddenly her head was clear. "I don't know what that was."

Akkarin shook his head. "Don't apologise. I should have known… I should have known how difficult this must be for you."

She had no idea what he was talking about. "What do you mean?"

"Just think about it! For more than two years, I made your life a misery. You had every reason to believe I would kill you if I only had the chance. And I took you away from Rothen's protection and forced you to stay under my roof." He shook his head, as if hating every word he spoke. "I deliberately terrified you to keep my secret. And now…"

"Now I love you," she whispered. Only when she said it she realised that it was really true, that it had been true the whole time. But she also understood what he had been trying to say – it was difficult. There were two images of Akkarin in her head that completely contradicted each other. And they were fighting, fighting so hard that the blow had thrown her completely out of balance.

Akkarin nodded. "And I would give my life to protect you. I'm so very sorry for all the nightmares I gave you. I swear I will do anything to make up for it." His voice was so incredibly earnest and sincere, it was impossible to feel anything other than deep trust and affection.

The panic was gone, and all the bad memories with it. Suddenly, she felt perfectly at ease, except for the now familiar aching in her leg. In fact, she had not felt this comfortable at all since waking up in the Healers' Quarters more than two months ago.

Akkarin was still kneeling by her side. Sonea could physically feel his presence although he was not touching her. He was so close…

When she kissed him, he tensed for the briefest of heartbeats before his hands came to hers, sliding up her arms until he reached her shoulders, holding tightly as if to never let her go. It was only a moment until their lips parted again, but it felt almost like a lifetime.

"Thank you," Sonea whispered. "Thank you so much."

Akkarin smiled, still holding onto her, their faces so close she could feel his breath on her skin. She had never felt so good. "Gods know I wanted to do this for a long time."

He looked pale, though, and when she reached up to take his hand she could feel his pulse so much faster than normal. His heart must be racing.

"Are you alright? Here, sit down." She rose, tried not to wince when she put weight on her feet, and ushered him to take her seat. He did not even try to object. It must be very bad.

"Do you need anything? I could…"

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine," Akkarin said, but considering how heavy he was breathing, she did not believe him. Reaching for those cursed crutches, she managed to get to the door and persuade a servant passing on the corridor to bring them water and something to eat. Back inside, she refused to let Akkarin stand up until he had eaten. He then in turn refused to sit down again until she had done the same, ignoring her when she told him how incredibly childish that was.

That night, she almost fell asleep in her chair, and barely noticed Akkarin gently guiding her to bed. They slept arm in arm, breathing in each other's presence and secretly hoping the night would never end.

This is a long one! Hopefully, this at least makes up a little bit for the incredibly long pauses in between updates. I know that I always say that, but I honestly hope to post more frequently in the future!

Love and kisses,

Jojo