The Price of Silence
By Sammaras
"I waited and waited.
For minutes, for hours, for days.
But all I had was silence,
And with the absence of your words
I took it as an answer."
~unknown~
PROGLOGUE
Silence... It was my biggest regret in life.
When horrific things happened and when great things happened, I stayed silent. I had my reasons—they made sense—or so I thought at the time. But now? Now, I know better.
I wish I could go back. If I could, I'd use my voice to scream from the roof tops instead of trying to jump off them. I would have yelled long and hard to get the attention of anyone who'd listen. I wouldn't have wasted my time worrying about gossips in the neighborhood or how I embarrassed my family. I'd have proudly proclaimed my joys and sorrows for all to hear. But that's not what I did, and because of my cowardly silence, good people were hurt.
As if that wasn't tragic enough, I had to go and fall in love with a man who built his life around silence. Ranger once told me there was no price for what we gave each other, but that wasn't true.
There is always a price.
I sometimes wondered if he knew the price I paid for his silence. Each unanswered question and misdirection of my curious nature about a man I longed to know inside and out was another silence to add to the mountain I already carried on my shoulders.
Eventually the consequences of all that silence crippled me and I lost everything. But through the destruction, I found my voice and how to use it. My story is one that ends in hope. Along the way, you'll learn some things about me that might shock and horrify you, but keep in mind that I lived through them and made it to my happily ever after.
CHAPTER 1
My Hands Are Tied
Piercing pain radiated through my head, zinging down my spine in never ending cycles. I was drifting in and out of consciousness, my eyelids fluttering open and closed, my thoughts fuzzy. When I was finally able to keep my eyes open, I couldn't see a thing. Wherever I was, it was pitch black.
I was lying on some type of narrow cushion, much harder than my bed. I carefully raised up on my elbows and groaned when pain exploded in my head. It hurt so bad that my skin turned clammy and I vomited all over myself. I fell back, grabbing my head with my hands and putting pressure on my skull to try and dull the pain. That's when I felt the cumbersome metal around my wrists.
What the hell!
I drew in a sharp breath—my heart pounding—as I touched each wrist and moved my ankles, discovering thick metal bracelets fastened around them and a length of chain connecting each set. I tried to sit up again—to get away but was stopped short when a metal collar tightened around my neck, choking me.
My brain was sluggish. I couldn't make sense out of what was happening. I moved my fingers over the cuffs, desperately trying to find a clasp, but what I found caused my heart to plummet into my stomach. Padlocks. No. No. No. This can't be happening. I was breathing so hard it was making my chest hurt. More desperately now, I felt along the chains, trying to find a weakness, a broken link, anything to get me out of them.
There was nothing.
I tried wedging my fingers under the collar, but there was barely enough room to fit one finger. I discovered a ring at the back of my neck with a chain leading upward, allowing me to move forward like a tethered dog. I reached up, grabbing the chain with both hands and pulled. It didn't budge. My heart raced and my breathing went haywire. I screamed and jerked in a fit of rage.
When I finally stopped, I'd done nothing but make my headache worse. I lay back on the bed to calm myself and think of what to do next. As I lay there, the pain in my head throbbed in time with my heart, giving me less than a second of pain free relief between beats. With each inhale, I breathed in a horrid smell. I twisted my head from one side to the other, thinking it was coming from the mattress. It reeked of body odor, blood, vomit, and beneath those offensive odors was something worse—something so foul I could taste it in the air.
Once my adrenaline wore off, I started shivering. My breathing turned harsh again. That's when I realized I was naked. Panic shot up my spine. Someone took my clothes off and I didn't know who or why. What else had they done to me? My mind raced, trying to remember what happened. I wiggled my hips, testing for soreness between my legs. There was no pain—no wetness. It wasn't conclusive that I hadn't been raped, but it brought relief.
Images flashed through my mind like slides on a projector. I worked to arrange them, so they made sense. The last thing I remembered was getting out of my car in the parking lot of my building and feeling a stinging sensation on the back of my neck and then… nothing. I sucked in a breath. I'd been drugged. I wanted to kick myself for letting someone get the jump on me.
I couldn't lay here any longer just waiting for whoever took me to come back and finish me off. I slid my legs off the cushion. My feet landed on freezing concrete. I could feel the narrow metal bed frame against the back of my knees. I squinted in the darkness until I saw something glowing in the distance. It was close to the floor and had coils like a heater.
In my attempt to get loose from the chains, I'd made a lot of noise. I hadn't considered whether I was alone in the room or not. Or if the noise I was making would alert the person that I was awake. I'd prefer to delay that as long as possible.
I sat quietly, holding my breath while I listened to the deafening silence.
That's when I heard it!
Breathing.