Arthur's notes: Thank you all for the reviews. I'm going to go ahead and post the next chapter now instead of waiting until the end of the week simply because life... See the end for more notes.
Chapter 1:
3 Months following Alex Hoffman mission…2018
Dalton lifted the ax again and brought it down once more on the log in front of him, splitting it in two with a satisfying clunk. He set the ax down against the stump he'd been using and picked up the two pieces that he added to the pile by the fire pit. He looked at the three-foot-tall pile of wood he had managed to chop that afternoon and lifted the ax to his shoulder and walked over to his shed. The ax was returned to its place on the wall and he locked up the shed before returning to his cabin.
Standing on the front porch and staring out over the tree covered land he smiled at the difference a couple months could make. His usual view was a flat plain of browns and reds dotted with the occasional green shrub, but here there was a sharp and craggy feel to the land covered in pine trees. It smoothed the rough edges that kept sleep from being entirely peaceful for him even after months of being home. Taking a deep breath of the fresh pine scented air, he walked inside and smiled down at Patton, the insubordinate dog that had been allowed to follow him home from Turkey. The dog had grown on him during his last deployment and he didn't want to leave him behind. The team had been right that when it came to the dog, he was a softy. He would never admit it to them though.
Out of habit, he picked up the cell phone he had left lying on the table and checked it for messages. Finding none, he went about making a fresh pot of coffee and cooking some scrambled eggs. He needed to make a run to town for real groceries as it was third meal that day that involved eggs, but his time at home was growing short and he didn't want to have to figure out what to do with a bunch of groceries if they got called back early. His team wasn't due back to DC until the end of the month. They would have their final evaluation as to whether Chief Petty Officer Ezekiel "Preach" Carter would be returning to duty with them or not. Then they would return to Turkey either as a team of five or a man down and he forced to pick someone from the list he had been sent by Patricia. Admittedly, he hadn't opened it yet.
Preach's coma had lasted only a few days, but his injuries had been bad enough that he was not cleared yet for active duty. Adam still felt the bubble of rage and helplessness that had plagued him those days waiting for his closest friend to wake up. Thankfully, when he did, his mental faculties seemed to be fully intact. His lungs, they were a different story.
Once the team had debriefed in DC and seen their friend delivered safely home to southern California, they had disbanded for their leave and kept in touch via email, text and phone calls. Last report he heard from Joseph "McG" McGuire, he had returned home to see his mother in Montana and working the farm he had bought before their last deployment. Amir Al-Raisani had continued to travel after a short visit to Lebanon to see his own family and the last text he had gotten was from London. The final member of the team had been more elusive in her travel plans. Jasmine "Jaz" Kahn had briefly mentioned going home to New York to see her mother, but she texted him a week after they had separated that it had been a bad idea. She sent picture of her plane's wing in the clear blue skies, but not her destination.
Jaz sent him a new picture each day of something random she had found that day. One of her more memorable ones had been the stingray she had managed to catch just off the coast of southern Florida, the name on the boat pointing to a marina in that area when he looked it up and her hands holding the fishing pole the only way he knew it was her catch. There were never words, just pictures. The pictures were also never of her. In return he sent pictures with a view from his latest fishing spot or of Patton lying belly up on the front porch. She would send back emojis of her approval.
This leave was different between them. In years past, she remained quiet and only responded to group text messages or when she found something "epic" and would blast their phones for hours before going silent for days. This time, the only words exchanged were during the two phone calls he had made to give her an update on Preach. Those phone calls were brief, and fairly one sided in his favor. She never missed a daily picture, but the silence was troublesome even when she had been teased by McG.
As he was finishing the dishes after his light dinner, Patton had jumped off the couch, moving towards the door with a low growl. "Patton, what is it?" Years of training had him reaching for the shotgun he kept by the door, just as his phone chimed with Jaz's ringtone, indicating she had just sent him her daily picture. He pulled the phone from his back pocket as Patton whined, his fur settling down, he opened the picture and frowned. The picture was of his fire pit, recognizable by the Adirondack chair he often sat in.
He yanked the heavy wooden door open and saw her kneeling by the fire pit, setting logs in place to start a bonfire. Patton took off running towards her when he opened the door and she turned to greet the happy dog with a smile. Patton was shaking with excitement while Adam had stood rooted to the front porch. He had not realized how much he missed her, until she stood in front of him for the first time in months. Her dark brown eyes looked unsure in the waning sunlight, and she continued to scratch Patton's ears, but her eyes were on him. He took a deep breath as he studied her trying to decide if he could walk up to her.
"Hi Top," she greeted him with a tentative smile. She pushed an errant piece of hair behind her ear, caught by the breeze.
Jaz had no idea why she was nervous, it wasn't like she hadn't come to the cabin before, but it had been the longest stretch of not seeing him in over three years. She had grown so accustomed to his presence along with the others that she couldn't wait the three weeks they had left of leave. They were her family, and she had missed them. She hoped that she had not interrupted something.
"Jaz," he returned finally stepping off the porch and walking over to her. He stopped when he was three feet in front of her, not trusting himself to get closer, and noticed the duffle at her feet. "What are you doing here?" He asked the question casually, but the blurry line they had drawn between them loomed in his mind. He missed that smile.
"I was hoping I could crash here for a couple days. I needed a friendly face," she explained handing him a beer from the six pack she'd brought with her as a peace offering in case he wasn't thrilled to have company.
"Everything okay?" He knew she would probably not answer but asked the question anyway because sometimes she surprised him.
"Not really." Surprise won. He studied her more carefully.
She didn't meet his eye as she turned to light the fire she had set up using the lighter he had left on the table earlier in the day. Once it caught she stood and looked him in the eye again. That's when he saw the shadows under her eyes and that she looked thinner since the last time he saw her. He also noticed a faint bruise along her jaw line.
He stuffed his free hand into his pocket to keep from reaching out and studied her carefully. "Talk to me."
She looked away and up at the sky above them. "Not yet. Can we just watch the stars come out?" Her eyes met his and she could see he wanted to push, but also knew that he wouldn't press for now.
Adam motioned to the pair of Adirondack chairs and she moved aside her duffle and the beer. It was still cold despite the days growing longer and he saw her shiver as she huddled into her thin coat with her own beer. He sat beside her, sipping his own beer, but instead of staring at the stars, he studied her.
"You look tired," Jaz stated while still looking up at the stars. He smirked at her observation, because he could say the same thing.
"Been chopping wood most of the day." She nodded in response knowing that wasn't the only reason but not questioning the half-truth. "How did you get here?" he asked realizing he didn't see her ride.
"I hiked up from the road. I needed to work off the frustrating plane trip from L.A." The first kernel of truth and honesty.
"L.A.? Were you visiting Preach?" He thought Preach would have mentioned her visiting when they had talked the day before.
"No, I didn't want to bug him. I swung by the house and he was being fussed over by his oldest. He looked happy." She looked over at him with a small smile. "It was good to see him smiling again."
Dalton nodded in understanding and took a long pull from his beer. "You want to tell me how you got that bruise?" he questioned as he studied her with his steady gaze that she met unflinchingly.
She smirked and took sip. "I was sparring in a local gym in Pittsburg a week ago and a guy got a lucky shot in. Lesson learned for him." Nugget number two.
Dalton smiled as he pictured her kicking the ass of whoever had landed the punch. Then he sobered taking in the rest of her appearance. "And what else?"
Jaz looked down at her hands because she knew that he wasn't going to let her just brush off the question. The truth was, she felt lost. She was worried that when their next rotation started, Preach wouldn't be there and the dynamic would change. Her concern was not just for Preach, but all of them. Preach was a steadying force for them when they tended to get hot headed. He was one of the few people Dalton let get close. Probably because Preach had worn him down over the last decade, but when Alex Hoffman had hurt his family, he had gone off the rails without Preach to hold him back. They had all known where he had disappeared to for those unaccounted hours, but they never spoke of those hours after. It felt like a black cloud hanging over them.
"Why didn't you tell one of us where you went?" Jaz asked the question quietly, but out in the middle of nowhere, she knew that his sharp hearing registered the question.
It was his turn to look unsure. Her question had thrown him off because he wasn't expecting it, but he should have. "Plausible deniability." He looked her steadily in the eye as he said it, but he knew it wouldn't satisfy her.
"Bullshit." She deadpanned. He had succeeded in pissing her off.
"I told you that I had met my dark side. I never said I wanted to introduce you to him." The intensity of his gaze did nothing to deter her. It seemed to only further piss her off.
"Adam, we would have helped." Jaz used his name to get the point of how serious she was across to him. She took a breath before her next confession. "I was angry with you because you left me -us behind."
Dalton moved forward in his seat and made sure she was looking at him, "What I did, I didn't want to touch you. Not any of you."
"We are a team. You're supposed to trust us, especially when you knew that that man was poison. Your words, not mine. You shouldn't have gone alone. You could have been hurt and we would not have known where you were." She rarely argued to the point of insubordination, but once she realized where he had gone, she had been terrified that they would lose not only Preach, but Top as well.
"I'm still your CO and it is still my call to make." He wasn't going to back down on the fact that he had essentially committed murder and he was fine with it.
"A CO, doesn't go dark for three hours without saying anything to his team after one of them is nearly blown to hell." She snapped, leaning forward in her seat as well and she wasn't backing down from how she felt. Their knees were nearly touching, and she made sure he was looking her in the eye, "You scared us."
"Us? Or you?" Dalton challenged and watched her recoil. He knew it was unfair, but he was not going to regret his decision. He had been protecting them and that was the end of it. He did what he had to do. Taking a deep breath and scrubbing his hand over his beard, "Look, we are going to have to agree to disagree on this one."
"Fine." Sitting back in her chair, she finished drinking her beer and resumed looking up at the stars.
It was never good when a woman made that simple statement. He had three sisters, he knew that 'fine' meant anything but that. However, he was too tired, the fire was getting low, and he could see Jaz was shivering in the cold mountain air. After a few more minutes, he could see she was losing the fight trying to stay warm and her eyes looked heavy.
"When was the last time you slept?" He asked softly. They all had taken shifts sleeping on a cot at the hospital and then they had been in DC in hotel rooms going through debriefs for hours. He had not seen her look rested since before Teheran.
"I don't remember." She refused to look him in the eye when she answered.
Dalton stood and reached for the bucket next to his seat that was always filled when he had a fire going. She must have grabbed it before texting him the picture. Once the flames were doused, he reached out a hand to help her up. She looked at him before reaching up to take it. She picked up her bag as he dropped her hand and led her inside the small cabin.
The cabin was a simple square space with the kitchen directly across from the front door and a large stone fireplace to the left and the only bedroom to the right. It was small, but it was his and it was quiet. He moved to the fireplace to stir the coals from the previous evening's fire and added logs to the growing flames from the pile to the right of the fireplace.
Jaz set her bag down next to the couch and was sitting in the corner watching him work. She'd already removed her coat and boots, having placed them by door next to his own. She looked ready to drop off if given the slightest push. It seemed that all the fight had gone out of her now that she had said what she needed to say, at least the most pressing.
Without a word, he went to go get the spare pillow and blanket he kept in his room for when he had guests. By the time he returned, Jaz had slid down on the couch, her head pillowed on her arms, and she was sound asleep. Patton was curled up at her feet and he lifted his head to look at Dalton. Adam patted him on the head as he put the pillow down and unfolded the blanket to cover Jaz. He gently tucked the blanket around her and lifted her arms to place the pillow underneath her head. She wrapped her arms around the pillow and settled in.
He wasn't quite ready to go to bed and he found himself sitting in his favorite chair by the window, the worn leather warmed by the fire, and Jaz's steady breathing easing the last bits of tension from his shoulders. He watched her a while and allowed his mind to wander back to their last few missions. Teheran and her capture, the subsequent rescue, and then the mission in Columbia when he had had to leave her behind, and finally, the rescue of a sixteen-year-old that reminded him of Andy and the disaster that was Alex Hoffman.
Late Spring 2005
"Andy Dalton?" a voice called out.
Andy looked up at the secretary standing at the front of her home room class and she knew. Her aunt had finally succumbed to the cancer. She stood wordlessly and gathered her backpack and homework. She didn't need to ask if she would be back, she knew she would not be. The pity in the look of the secretary was all she needed to confirm the truth.
She followed the secretary to the main office and didn't bother to ask questions that she knew wouldn't be answered until she entered the principal's office. The walk down the empty corridors left her wondering if she would be allowed to finish the last six weeks of school before she would be moved. She didn't turn eighteen until two days after graduation and didn't want to go to a group home before that.
When the door to the principal's office opened, Andy was surprised to see Adam standing before her in fatigues. He looked up at her and looked uncomfortable standing there surrounded by strangers. She wanted to spare him the uncomfortable situation, but the school would have called her legal guardian in absence of her mother or aunt. Her mother had listed him as next of kin after her sister was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
Emily Stuart had known Andy had a brother and sisters, but Andy didn't learn that until the day her mother died of a heart attack and they revealed they couldn't get her aunt on the phone because she was at treatment. They offered to call her brother. Andy had been shocked to learn the truth and spent the week following her mother's death, tracking down every scrap of information about her father's other family.
"Adam, I'm sorry they called you at work." Andy apologized trying to ease the awkwardness. Adam looked surprised by her apology and she couldn't hide her confusion.
"Andy, we are sorry to tell you that your aunt passed away earlier this morning at the hospital." Mrs. Johnson, the principal stated offering her sympathy. Andy nodded, but remained silent.
The small group sat in the office in silence for a minute before Adam spoke up, "Do you want me to take you home?" he questioned as he realized that Andy was not going to give these people the tears they were expecting.
He looked at his sister and he was grateful for her stubborn streak that had her calling him at least twice a week since that morning at his uncle's farm even when he wasn't the most talkative person. It had given him the opportunity to get to know his sister and had had the unintended benefit of giving him back a piece of himself that he thought he had lost. He shared with her the loss of friends in a way he had not been able to with the sisters he'd grown up with because Andy did not have the pre-conceived notion of him being the perfect soldier brother. He had found they were similar in the mentality of getting the job done and dealing with feelings later. Adam saw now that she had known this was coming and had already set aside her feelings to deal with details that came with death.
She looked down at her brother holding her hand trying to comfort her and she realized that even though he hadn't wanted the extra responsibility of another sister, he had taken her on anyway. She nodded her head simply because she didn't want to be at school when the rumors started to fly about little orphaned Andy. Nor did she want to hear the rumors that were bound to start with the mysterious appearance of a man in uniform taking her home.
"Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you Andy." Mrs. Johnson offered with a sympathetic smile.
"I want to graduate with my class in six weeks," was Andy's only response before turning and walking out the door to head to her locker and gather her things.
Dalton looked at his sister's back and then the principal. "Will she be able to stay here?"
"That will be up to you. She doesn't turn eighteen until after graduation," Mrs. Johnson informed him.
Adam nodded and left the office to find Andy already standing by the doors leading out to the main student parking lot. "Do you need a ride?" he questioned as she stared out the windows.
"No, I have my mom's car. Aunt Maggy let me keep it to help drive her back and forth to the hospital." She answered before turning to look at him. "You don't have to stick around or anything. I already have all the numbers I need to call for the funeral. Aunt Maggy and I planned everything right after mom died so that I wouldn't have to worry about it."
"I'm not leaving you by yourself." Adam stated before holding the door open and escorting her to her car. He walked her all the way out to the grey Honda Civic that was the definition of non-descript. He smirked at it as she opened the trunk and threw her backpack in. She turned to him then and he saw the struggle to keep it together.
She took a deep breath, "Do you have a car? How did you get here? Do you need me to take you someplace?" She asked the questions with the same nervousness he had seen in her the day they met.
"I'm parked in the front lot, come around and I'll follow you." He wanted to get her off school property before the dam he knew was starting to crack finally broke loose.
They made it to the small yellow house off the main road through town, it had dark green shutters and a green front door. The single car garage door opened as she pulled into the driveway and he parked behind her in the beat up old pick up he had fixed up his senior year of high school. He climbed out as she pulled her backpack out of the trunk. Out of habit he had taken in all the details of the yard, the closest neighbor and the fact that the trees surrounding the property afforded plenty of privacy. It was a nice piece of land and he could see why Andy didn't want to leave.
"You coming?" she asked as she stood at the interior door of the garage waiting for him. He followed into the garage and she shut the door behind him. The door led to the open kitchen where the counters were scrubbed clean, no knickknacks like his aunt had, a lone picture hanging on the refrigerator door of Andy with her mother, and a single glass in the sink.
"Do you want something to drink? I can make coffee if you want or iced tea. I'm sorry I don't have much, I haven't been to the store in a couple weeks because Aunt Maggy has been getting worse and I've been going to the hospital most nights." She was rambling as she stood at the kitchen table pulling her homework from her bag and a planner that looked color coded based on the multiple tabs he could see.
"I'm good." He answered tossing his keys on to the kitchen table. He studied her a minute longer and she started to fidget.
"Well, you seriously don't have to stay. I just need to make some phone calls to the funeral home and the insurance company, and my aunt's lawyer. I'll be back in school tomorrow, so you won't be bothered having to call me in or anything." She was looking just past his left shoulder and had clasped her fingers together.
"I told you, I'm not leaving. I don't report back to duty for another eight weeks. You aren't staying here alone." He reiterated moving to stand in front of her.
"I've been alone for the last 2 months, I'm used to it." She answered bitterly, looking him in the eye with a hint of defiance.
"You are not alone now." He gripped her shoulders to make sure she was hearing him.
He watched as those words registered with her and the dam finally began to crumble. He pulled her into a hug and she finally released the emotions of the day. The tears soaked his uniform and her sobs broke his heart, just like it did whenever their other sisters had cried when they were younger. It only lasted for a few moments, before he felt her pulling herself together to once again, deal with the details.
As night had fallen, Andy had made all the arrangements for her aunt's funeral and he had ordered them pizza from the menu sitting next to the couch in the living room. He had convinced her to take the time off school so that they could complete the arrangements and so that he could drive back to his apartment and get some clothes that would last him until he deployed again.
After dinner, he found her out in the backyard, sitting next to a small bonfire she had built staring up at the clear night sky. He sat in the plastic Adirondack chair next to her and mimicked her position. "When I was little I used to sit outside at my uncle's in the summer time and stare up at the stars and wonder what it would be like to visit them all." Adam confessed breaking the silence that had surrounded her.
"I used to stare up at them and wonder if my dad was looking at the same stars. Now I know that is unlikely." The bitterness was there again.
"Yeah, dad wasn't the poster boy for parenthood." He glanced over at her, wishing he had something stronger than root beer.
"No parent is. Some are just worse than others. I hate that he was mean to my mother, I hate that he was terrible to you and your sisters and I hate that he didn't even want to know me. But fuck him, it is his loss." He smirked at that sad response. He had grown up too young, and it looked like Peter Dalton had caused his youngest child to grow up too fast as well, without even knowing her.
"They are your sisters too."
"They wish I wasn't." She replied looking at the bottle of water he had brought her. She was not looking for a pity party, but damn if she wasn't working her way into one. "Look, I will tell you what I told them. None of you owe me anything. After I graduate, I am going to be going to school and I'm leaving this place. None of you have to hear from me again. I couldn't leave without at least trying to get to know you all. I'm sorry if I caused problems and heartache. I didn't intend to do that. I wanted to meet dad first and then I found out he was dead. I guess I hoped that maybe he had mentioned me. Nope. No such luck there. So, I will disappear from your lives if that is what you want."
Adam found that he did not want to lose another person in his life and made a decision. He turned and looked at her, made sure she was looking at him, "You disappear, I find you. I will always be your brother and you are not alone."
Andy nodded and felt the burn of tears again. She was sad, lonely and angry, but Adam telling her she wasn't alone for a second time, eased the pain she had felt since her mother's death, and she nodded in understanding and swiped at the lone tear that had escaped. He reached across the distance and gripped her smaller hand in his and found himself happy for the first time that he had not turned her away that morning.
Jaz sleeping on the couch reminded him of those days with Andy and made him miss his sister even more. He didn't think of Jaz as a sister by any means, but the same lonely streak he remembered in Andy, he saw in Jaz. Part of him wanted to make sure she was never alone, but not in the same way he had meant it with Andy. It was a line he couldn't cross he told himself.
Sometime later, he finally went to bed, the sheets were cool and part of him wondered… Shaking his head, he curled around the pillow he held and began to drift off to sleep. The wind rustling the trees and pressing the branches against the glass, were the last thing he heard before he finally succumbed to sleep.
Notes: I promise the team all gets together soon.